Match Reports, Banter, Trash Talk and Graveyard

[The Golden Arrow]

Yeah, it was a really fun game (one of the reasons I play ogres). First half the ogres tried and failed horribly to defend against the chaos unslaught. There were a lot of double skulls and of the three one die blocks he threw at them one stunned an ogre, the next knocked one out and the last injured one. The snots tried to get in the way but with the ogres going out or getting turn overed they were horribly out of poisition and couldn't support which meant he could easily shove the snots away and walk to the end zone. I saved a reroll for a throw last turn but his kick ended up in my end zone, way out of reach...

Second turn went better, one ogre down I needed them all up field so had a snot pick up the ball. It managed it and a few turns later it handed it off to a free ogre who actually caught it. I caged up with lots of snots and another ogre and walked up the field while the other ogres tried to tie down as many players as possible and the snots got in the way as good as they could. It worked fine and I managed to walk in a TD with 3 turns left. The last turns became a brawl in the centre and none was anywhere near close to scoring.

Thanks for the game Konna :)

[Luiggi]

Dragon Trainers 0 - 2 Orkitis B.C.

The last match of the week ended up with a victory for the visitors that was secured in the first turns of the game, placing Orkitis on top of the table with 6 points (tied with BuzcaBass) and Dragon Trainers at the bottom.

The visitors won the toss and received the ball. Early in the game, the mercenary orc lineman Marmar, hired for this game to cover the loss of one of the two Black Orc twins really wanted to prove a point and killed a lineman early in the game. From then on, the best player for the orc team, Rokzig, sent another two players to the hospital in consecutive turns, granting his team a great advantage in numbers, enough to secure the first touchdown. The Yhetee seemed to be distracted with an orc blitzer, who refused to stand up against such a foe, and spent 6 turns laying on the floor in front of the Wild Animal (failed 4 rolls at 4+ to repositionate) Despite the Trainers' efforts to push the orcs to the sidelines, the visiting team didn't suffer any KO or casualty and defended the next drive 11 to 8. The goblin referee decided to move the clock back one turn back to turn 6, but the Norse team wasn't ready and took some risks to try and score with the extra turn. After some struggle on the LoS, an untimely turnover left an orc blitzer with the opportunity to score, and after sprinting, he put the final 2-0 on the scoreboard.

The second half couldn't start worse for the Trainers, as his Werewolf tried to block Marmar the journeyman and ended up in the hospital with a Pinched Nerve. From then on, the orcs easily grabbed the ball and tried sparring with some passes and, when a Black Orc was about to score, the Yhetee rushed to get him, took the ball from him and kept bashing orcish skulls for the rest of the match. However, neither him or his teammates proved capable enough today to inflict damage on the visitor's armors and only got two KO's. The game ended without any other incidents.



It was a good game and looked promising, but it got really onesided game after the first injuries. Bantha succeeded in taking the game to the sidelines, where his frenziers were a threat and pushed some orcs off the field. However, a double 1 on a GFI to block my carrier when he was wide open with his werewolf gave me the chance to rush forward and form a cage. Mighty Blow really proved useful as both injuries made use of it, and after that there was not really too much Bantha could do since he would always have tackle zones to dodge and inferior strenght to fight. His Yhetee must have spent 10 out of 16 turns standing still (even with 2+ rolls) and when he clawed my orcs, injury rolls simply wouldn't go his way.

[Oller]

Shining Sins 1 - 1 Crunch Masters

---

The Sins were up against a tough contender once again. Their opponents, an orc team called Crunch Masters, guaranteed that there weren't high hopes for inflicting too many casualties through their thick skins and crude armor pads. The pressure was piling up on the elves as they knew that losing this match would leave them stuck with no points at all, since only two other teams, including the opponent, had not scored any points yet either. Even the prospect of having to climb up from the bottom of the standings had a negative effect on the team's morale.

The first half started off with the Sins kicking. They almost managed to keep the orcs from scoring, but were beaten to submission by the green horde at the last minute, shifting the score to 1-0 for the orcs. Nuffle seemed to favour both teams equally so far. While the first half of the game was a bit eventless, the second half made up for it.

The ball landed next the the line of scrimmage and the elves quickly cleared some space around it. As the Sins catcher, Kailduil Aldvathar, managed to get his hands on the ball, he peered around for any openings, which appeared at the opposite flank from him. He dashed to the other side of the pitch with one lineman covering his side, trying to run away from most of the sluggish orcs. This tactic was not without any risk, as he knew that an orc thrower covering that side would be able to block his path, but Kailduil still continued his rush, trusting that he would prevail over a single opponent with his agility. Unfortunately for him, the aforementioned liability in his grand plan managed to block him to the ground and single-handedly brought the whole offensive to a halt.

Things started to look grim for the Sins as the orcs managed to grab the ball and start charging towards a sure victory. Still not giving up, the Sins managed to whip up some defence, hampering the Masters advance. It was only a few minutes left of the second half and the orcs were already in a very favorable situation. The ball carrier with a blitzer at his side were closing in on the touchdown area, with only one elf player at their flank. The same orc passer, who turned the tide against the elves, tried to dodge from the elf. Perhaps it was the stunning sensation of an impending goal or the roaring and cheering fans, all of a sudden he failed to notice the incoming elf, who tackled him flawlessly, resulting in a fractured arm and a turnover.

Yalayondan Tinuren, the upcoming passer of the Sins, noticed the chance and still to this day believes that he saw Nuffle himself smiling at him, behind a distant cloud. Without a doubt, he rushed to the ball, grabbed it and passed it, leaving the orcs with their jaws open as the ball swooped over them to the catcher, Kailduil, near the centre line. He was no different from other elf catchers. In order to play his position, which requires the capability of being totally fearless and focused when involved with handling the ball under pressure, he had gone through merciless and rigorous training, which granted him nerves of steel in any situation. He calmly catched the ball while skillfully negating the intervening orc thrower, Rokfak, who was keeping him in check. Then came Jonesy Swift, the elf blitzer, who smashed the struggling orc away, allowing his comrade to rush beyond the Crunch Masters' grasp. This sudden show of perfect teamwork tied the game 1-1, and the Sins sighed in relief.

---

GG Paspawn!

While my attempt for a quick equalizer was almost immediately thrashed by your 1-die block on the ball carrier, the ridiculously lucky streak in the last turns (58.347% chance of pulling off that pick up+pass+catch+dodge+2d block without team rerolls) gave me a chance to end the match in a tie instead of an almost sure 0-2 defeat. Cheers for not fouling my player to oblivion with 6+ orcs in the last round! I'm sure the temptation must've been a killer :D

[Mr B]

Yes thats two dead in two games and in the end I rolled 10k for winnings and I got 20k from the first game.
Apparently I ended up getting 40k out of this match and I am as puzzled as Staffan is here.
There are clearly some bugs in the system regarding winnings.

Anyway, the game looked Ok and the first hits no one could break any armor.
But grinding long enough made it clear. I got 60k inducements and got my trainers some Ale!
Hey that will help a lot... but it did not as we hardly suffered any ko's it was stunned or injury for the hole lot!
So one RIP and One mng hmm and now some dwarfs awaits well, Phlegma the Fierce Yhetee was going strong in the end.
Knocking that ball holding bob to the dirt and stealing the ball was really impressing a lot gaining the mvp on that one.

But now we have an Apo!
Playing second half 7 vs 11 orcs was not that easy, and Astrid the Thrower in the team were able to get the ball in her hands in this game but failed to complete any passes again... and that fumble pass really left the ball wide open for the orcs to claim it. Really impressive that I could keep the number to 2-0.

Good luck with the team and the season, and yes I almost forgot Welcome to NUL  :D

[J-Reedy]

Nice match reports all around! Lovely reading, I likes them.

[tags]

*huff* *puff* *huff* *puff* "Am I too late?"

Stumbling Stephen the Scribe rests his hands on his knees and breathes heavily.

"I wr.." *huff* *wheeze* "wrote down the events of the last two games!"

Appearing to have caught most of his breath, the red-faced and surprisingly friendly-looking (also surprisingly beardy and surprisingly fat) old goat goes on:

"I recorded the last two Disorganized Dudes games in the Annals of Arduous Alliteration! It was an exhausting effort, but I got laughably lost before I could deliver them. It seems like I was busy pretending to be a doubtful duck most of last week, although I cannot be sure. Never the less, and more importantly, please allow me to read these delightfully delayed reports!"

"Starting with the first one... where was it... oh, right, Dragon Trainers. Ahem!"

"It was a fine day for a game, and 4 warriors from Disorganized Dudes happened to show up. These were Random Robin, Erratic Eric, Stochastic Steve and Unexpected Ulrik. Infrequent Ivan and Occasional Olec were nowhere to be seen. 7 goats were herded just in time for the toin coss, and the games were off.

Dragon Trainers won the toss, and chose to receive. After a decent kick-off, the three goats at the line of scrimmage were quickly decimated by the Norse warriors, headed up by the fearsome Yehtee Phlegma the Fierce. The werewolf Stoick made short work of the Dudes' left flank, and started clearing the way for a fast play.

One of the few goats left standing after the initial onslaught, apparently quite riled up by the action, lowered his horns and went straight for Stoick's guts. In a screeching clash of bone, flesh and metal, Stoick hit the ground, not looking at all pleased. The other Dudes scattered about in the typical disorganized fashion, not really accomplishing a lot.

Starkard the Runner made a surprise move down the opposite flank after Stoick's Slight Setback, carrying the ball across the line of scrimmage. Phlegma, on the other hand, appeared to have momentarily lost interest in the game, but rather found a seemingly interesting wart on his nose, demanding his undivided attention. Gobber floored Erratic Eric as he somewhat surprisingly decided to approach the charge with his hands held over his eyes, for reasons apparent only to him. The Disorganized defensive line at this point had decided to gather in entirely the wrong side of the pitch, and Dragon Trainers did not waste time taking advantage of their position. Various heads were knocked together while goats tried to take down the Yehtee, only to be knocked out and flung towards angry mobs of spectators. This left Starkard now able to relatively unhindered make his way towards the line and score a touchdown, setting the score to 0-1 for the Dragon Trainers!

Starkard, still celebrating his spectacular touchdown, made a spectacular mess of the kick-off. With half-time fast approaching, the goat Ul'molgors got the ball and realized that whatever was to be done, it had to happen quickly. The warriors on the line, led up by Stochastic Steve, managed to take down Phlegma and cause a bit of general mayhem, while Ul'molgors started a rush up the right flank supported by a couple of other goats.

Norse berserkers rallied quickly, and Ul'molgors found himself in a tough spot, surrounded by horned helmets. Realizing that he wasn't going to make it, he made a desperate long pass towards Shilow Tail on the far left flank, which somehow miraculously reached its target! Being practically alone, Shilow was free to run in the touchdown.

Unexpected Ulrik, suddenly deciding to take control of team strategy, made a rather original move at the start of the second half; rather than prepare to receive the ball, the Disorganized Dudes decided to line up as if it were not the start of the second half, but rather the end of the first, in a devious attempt to confuse the opposition. This was a partial success, but had the undesired side-effect of confusing the home team to an even greater extent.

Not being deterred, Thishnogors dodged free of the vikings and got hold of the ball in an unprecedented display of agility, seeking the relative safety of being close to Unexpected Ulrik's spiky armour. That safety turned out to be relative indeed, as Phlegma and Stoick thundered towards them and made sure some of Thishnogor's teeth as well as the ball ended up with a different relative position to Thishnogor. Hilarious violence escalated into a big brawl, dangerously close to the Dudes' line!

Shilow Tail miraculously managed to sneak out of the fighting with the ball, and was just able to pass it to Bris'nogor who was on the other side of the Norse defensive line. Running wildly towards a touchdown, the grin on Bris'nogor's face grew ever wider as he looked behind him and saw nobody able to keep up. Just as he turned his head back to look towards what he thought was the touchdown line, he realized that it looked a lot like a fist. A fist with metal spikes on it. Not being able to realize much of anything else for a few hours, Bris was sent flying into the sidelines by Gobber who was now in a real frenzy. Shilow, however, who had kept up, managed to swoop in, pick up the ball, and score the final touchdown just seconds before the game ended, 2-1 for the home team!"

"So there you have it! I've never seen the goats playing this kind of passing game before... well, not successfully anyway!"

"Two days ago, Disorganized Dudes met Midget Stuntmen at their home turf, a sturdy dwarf team sporting no less than two troll slayers. There was never any doubt that this was going to get physical. Very physical.

The Dudes' roster was more or less the same this time around, having kept even most of the goats. Bris'nogor being the notable exception, as he was still recovering from the unpleasant meeting between his eye and Gobber's fist.

The Midget Stuntmen won the toss and chose to receive, setting up a strong line with 5 stout blockers facing down three of the younger goats. Alglid the runner quickly got the ball and approached the line of scrimmage, ready for some carnage. The beastmen, used to being some of the meanest players around, were beaten senseless by the powerful dwarf fight...err..players. More or less all of the 22 players on the pitch participated in one huge brawl, and various body parts were left in various unnatural positions. Bryn Dok-Troll the troll slayer planted his heavy metal-clad fist through Shiey Pelt's temple, killing him outright before his body even hit the ground.

Alglid maintained posssession of the ball, and inched ever closer to the line avoiding most of the carnage, before finally securing the touchdown. 1-0 for the home team!

Both teams fielded 10 players for the next kick-off, with one goat having been killed and one troll slayer still being out cold. There was a frequent exchange of fists and boots around the line of scrimmage, while little constructive play took place. Unexpected Ulrik had a go with the ball at one point, but was slammed to the ground before posing any real threat to the dwarves. Ekrmli tried a daring long throw towards the end of the round, but ended up fumbling badly.

There was a clear sense of frustration in the chaos team at the start of the second half, being one player down, and getting nowhere with the wall of blocking dwarves. However, Bryn Dok-Troll fumbled the kick-off, and Shilow Tail got hold of the ball. Shilow, being something of an inspirational figure for the team after last week's game, managed to rally the team spirit somewhat, and started a run up the middle of the field with heavy support from both warriors and goats. However, Shilow's hopes of yet another touchdown for the Dudes were cut short by Bryn, who clobbered him unconscious, as the rush was turned into a flurry of punches and kicks.

The ball exchanged hands a couple of times, and ended up with Pa'fagor, one of the more inexperienced goats. Thishnogors, quick on his feet once again, had run up the field free of dwarves, and Pa'fagor managed a beautiful long throw to him. Having just received the ball, however, he also received Urur's boot, and ended up on his back without the ball. After a quick scramble, he managed to get hold of it again, only to be knocked down by Urur... again.

Time was running short, and frustration levels with the dwarf team's tough defence were rising. Erratic Erric, fueled by rage, unleashed his mailed fists at Karlok, severing his left jugular and sending him permanently to the ground with blood flying everywhere. Thishnogors, drawn in by the sudden fury, got up yet again and sent Alglid off the pitch with a nasty crunching sound, only to have Urur knock him down... again.

The ball somehow got lost in all the confusion, and ended up with the spectators, who hurled it back into the pitch deep into the Disorganized Dudes' half. Erratic Eric, still high on his adrenaline rush of fury, managed to get hold of it and throw it across half the field to Ulrik, who Unexpectedly caught it, and ran in a touchdown in the last seconds of the match!

Unprecedented ball playing by the warriors secured a draw, which the Disorganized Dudes seemed more than happy with."

"Right, well, that was a load off! I'm excited about the match against the ogres in Fasta Stronga Betta next week, and I'll surely be back with a new report from that match! Or not!"

Stumbling Stephen waddles along happily, while mumbling to himself giggling at something.

[Mr B]

Maam!
13 y'ol Yangar rushed home at the brink of stumbling every second step as his legs could hardly keep up with the speed.
Maaam!!

And Mam opend the door for young Yangar, darting through the door he went and stumbling down in the sofa that really has seen the best days long ago.
The family Crushnack's home was not as wealthy as mam Mooma the cleaner could not afford any more. Living home with three kids was a hard effort.
The money from father Obek was never seen, and she never heard from him again.
The famous words "I'll be back soon" still makes her sad.
Did he survive the games or what happened has he found another girl?
Am I not good enough?
Well, the game just happens to be bloodbowl the most heroic game ever seen.
There are soo many heroes out there!!
And of course the one that dies on the LOS in the first game are never remembered, only the though guys enters the papers.

Yangar eagerly watches the magic ball shimmering the the comments from his favorite reporters from NUL.
"They tell the stories like no other!"
His elder brother always says.

Of course his brother was already home, in time for the the NUL reports.
He loved to share them with his brother, especially after practice.
Yangar always gave it all, I just might end up with his favorite team one day...

Has it started yet, he asks his brother.
It's just about to begin!

And the two brothers was unreachable for Mam in the closest hours to come, but that was ok, at least there are home now.
Mam went to fix food on the table as the broadcast started from NUL.

YES she heard the brothers shouted from the living room, she never understood the game.....
*************
Keep the stories coming dudes!
Just love to read them!
Cheers!

[J-Reedy]

Minutes of the general meeting of registered association Gentleman Wolf-Whistlers (referred to as the association in the minutes for purpose of clarity)
at BuzcaBass stadium, locker room B (visitor's locker room)

Members:
Present: Geri the Greedy, Freki the Hungry, Droopy Avery, Teddy, Orson, Hercule, Sherlock, Auguste, Arsene, Moriarty, Auric
As no one was absent, the meeting was noted to have quarum.
Others present: The association's recident physician, the noted doctor of necromancy, Mr. Coach Trainer.

Proceedings:
- The association's weekly meeting was called to order at 6.45 pm. by Mr. Teddy.
- Mr. Teddy was chosen as the chairman of the meeting.
- Mr. Teddy opened the meeting with a traditional thundering wolf-whistle.
- The minutes of the previous meeting were presented and accepted.
- Chairman Teddy suggested that formal complaint should be made of the height of the BuzcaBass stadium's locker rooms as the Association's taller players had to hunch to avoid hitting the ceiling. The suggestion was unanimously accepted.
- Mr. Sherlock noted that the opponent in the physical activity part of weeks meeting wore red uniforms and had quite many blonde players so the association's members should take this into account.
- Mr. Coach Trainer noted that association should be starting the physical activity part of the meeting, so the meeting was moved into the field of the BuzcaBass Stadium.
- The Association won the coin toss and chose to receive the ball first. The members of opposing association kicked the ball out of bounds so the ball was given to Mr. Droopy Avery.
- The Association moved the ball to center line where it was held until Mr. Auguste stumbled onto the beard of the opposing association's player while trying to block him and fell down.
- Mr. Orson and Mr. Moriarty were given official warnings as they allowed themselves to be knocked out.
- Mr. Droopy Avery was fiven an official warning as he fell down during his own block and lost the ball.
- The Association was forced to defend the positions as the opposing association got hold of the ball. This succeeded reasonably well until Mr. Auric was knocked out and Mr. Auguste seriously injured.
- The opposing association ran for a touchdown through the hole in the left flank of the Association.
- After a brief kick-off the the first half of the physical activity ended with the opposing association leading 1 to 0.
- During the half time it was noted that the seriously injured Mr. Auguste was missing a part of his lower back. The Association decided to inform the stadium officials of this so that the missing muscle tissue would be returned to Association and sown back on if it was found after the match.
- At the start of the second half, the association lined up to defencive formation with all 10 members present and Mr. Auguste absent. The opposing association was also noted to have 10 members present.
- The Association started pushing stalled the opposing association's attack onto line of scrimmage.
- Mr. Geri the Greedy presented the Association a new version of his famous vertical windpipe Wolf-Whistle after seriously injuring opposing association's runner who was carrying the ball.
- After bouncing the ball and various members of both associations around, the ball was finally picked up by Mr. Freki the Hungry.
- Mr. Freki the Hungry stumbled onto empty bear keg on the field while trying to secure a safe position for the ball and fell down.
- The ball was bounced around by both assoaciations before Freki the Hungry secured it.
- Mr. Freki the Hungry spotted a blonde red-dressed female in the stands just as he was about the to throw the ball to Mr. Geri the Greedy. The ball dropped onto Mr. Freki's feet.
- The physical activity part of the week's meeting ended and the opposing association was declared the winner by the score of 0 to 1 in touchdowns and 1 to 3 in casualties.
- The meeting of the association was closed with a tradional group wolf-whistle.


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RL comments:
Beuneri already summed up the game nicely and accurately. I had to use all my 3 rerolls during the first 3 turns and the reroll on the third turn didn't help as my wight went down with the ball. Dwarfs made use of their block skill and knocked out my blockless zombies in rapid succession. I managed to keep the dwarfs advancing but a nice handoff+run+pass+run+GFI combination by Beuneri got him the touchdown at the end of first half. Second half was lot tighter, I managed to stall Beuneri's attack and surprise his ball-carrier from the rear with my wolves. My other wolf got the ball but fell down due to rerolled double 1s while going for it. Beuneri's next GFI attempt ended up with the same result and from then on it seemed that every ball handling dice failed. At the final moments a roll of 2 would've been enough to get the ball close to my other wolf deep in Beuneri's zone but the roll came up with 1 and that was basically the game. Exciting and fair game with both of us having our difficulties with the dice, good game from Beuneri.

[Luiggi]

Midget stuntmen 1 - 1 Orkitis B.C.

Third week ends honours even for both teams as they capitalize on an effective defense to score both touchdowns in the last turn of each half. Dwarves received first and quickly mounted up an attack on their left side. The orcs took up a defensive formation that encircled them in an attempt to push them off the field, but the dwarves' superior blocking skill overcame the orc's strenght and it was actually an orc blitzer the first one to leave the pitch after some shoving by the Troll Slayers. However, the orcish rear line stopped the attack and sent the ball loose out of bounds... it reached the stands and the crowd sent it back away from the action and to the right side of the dwarves' attack. Gorkbad the blitzer dodged away from the dwarven pressure (they were already outnumbering the defenders after some pushing and a couple of knock-outs) and took the ball. He made a desperate run towards the end zone, but the two troll-slayers who were marking him pressed on the pursuit and put a solid barrier in front of him. Gorkbad dodged away and kept running, never looking back. His only support was a stray orc lineman that dodged to hamper the dwarven pursuit, successfully delaying them. In the last turn of the first half, the orc blitzer dodged yet again and sprinted to the end zone, placing his team ahead on the scoreboard.

Second half started with 11 dwarves versus 10 orcs. After a high kick, the thrower didn't manage to catch the ball. The front line rushed to knock some dwarves down, and after opening a breach through the middle, a black orc rushed at the troll-slayers who were acting as safeties... big mistake, since that blitz caused a turnover and allowed the dwarves to counter-attack. With the ball on the ground they harassed the thrower, who finally picked it up and ran for cover in the front line. However, orcs were suffering casualties and knock-outs and their numbers kept dwindling. It took the dwarves a few turns to knock the ball loose, which they did in their half of the pitch. On turn 15, their only ball-players (a runner and a blitzer) won the game for the home team as the first one ran into a scoring position while the other one picked the ball and passed it to him on turn 16.

-----------------

I'll be honest, I got a bit annoyed by the permanent success in the dwarves' blocking dice, despite plenty of 1d blocks (I counted it and half his blocks were 1d) and even a 2d block against. I got a lucky streak with the dodges in the first half after seeing how my whole defence was falling, 1d block after another, which got me a touch down. Second half wasn't so generous with me, as I had to burn rerolls quickly on 2d blocks (1 of which ended up in a turnover anyway) and staffan had plenty to spare for the final play. GFI were also almost impecable (17/18) and the only 1 dices he failed were 3 4+ dodges, a 5+ catch and the final throw (which succeeded after the reroll). However, that's Bloodbowl, and dices come and go as they please, hehe.

Good game, though. It was very tense and there were some interesting key plays for both teams. I paid the price of not having block in most of my players while staffan took his chances with the 1d blocks and got away with it. Congratulations on the game!

[staffan]

Thanks Luiggi !
It was a nice summary of the game.

As a dwarf player I have been careful with the 1d blocks before.
Almost too careful but not the last game. I have had a lot of bad luck before so it was time for the luck to change.

Anyway it was an interesting game and I look forward to a rematch with less luck ;)

[J-Reedy]

Minutes of the general meeting of registered association Gentleman Wolf-Whistlers (referred to as the association in the minutes for purpose of clarity)
at Shining Sins Stadium, locker room B (visitor's locker room)

Members:
Present: Geri the Greedy, Freki the Hungry, Droopy Avery, Tex Wolfe, Teddy, Orson, Hercule, Sherlock, Arsene, Moriarty, Auric
Absent: Auguste
With majority of the members present, the meeting was noted to have quarum.
Others present: The association's recident physician, the noted doctor of necromancy, Mr. Coach Trainer.

Proceedings:
- The association's weekly meeting was called to order at 5.15 pm. by Mr. Teddy.
- Doctor Moriarty was chosen as the chairman of the meeting.
- Chairman opened the meeting with an inspired wolf-whistle performed standing on his hands.
- Chairman's hands were sown back on by Mr. Trainer
- It was noted that Inspector Auguste's missing muscle tissue from his lower back had not been returned which was the reason for his absense.
- Chairman introduced the new member of Association's, Mr. Tex Wolfe. Mr. Wolfe performed the traditional initiation wolf-whistle while wearing a red dress and a blonde wig.
- It was discussed why meeting was once again held at a strange venue and not in Association's club house. Mr. Orson noted that the Association's schedule of physical activities included seven away meetings and only four home meetings. The Association agreed to file a formal complaint about this to the NUL league association responsible for organising Association's meetings.
- It was noted that there had been no responses on previous two complaints made by the Association. Association agreed to make a formal complaint about this.
- Mr. Coach Trainer noted that association should be starting the physical activity part of the meeting, so the meeting was moved into the field of the Shining Sin's stadium.
- The Association's members noted that the crowd consisted numerous whistle-worthy elven maidens of blonde persuasion. The Association quicky agreed to change the complaint about away meetings into a petition to hold every future meeting of the Association at the Shining Sins stadium.
- The Association lost the coin toss, but were given the chance of receiving the ball. Mr. Freki the Hungry picked up the ball and advanced along the right flank until Mr. Horthion the Belligrent from the opposing association blocked Mr. Freki down while he was eying an extra-ordinarily beautiful blonde speciment in the stands.
- Mr. Orson was given an official recognition of killing a member of opposing association.
- Doctor Moriarty was given an official reprimend due to him advising the opposing association's apotechary on the elven anatomy which resulted in the mentioned apotechary reviving the dead member of the opposing association.
- Mr. Droopy Avery picked up the ball that had been bouncing on the ground and continued Association's advance on the right flank.
- Mr. Droopy Avery scored a touchdown.
- Opposing association received the ball from the kick-off and made a succesfull pass but were then prevented from scoring before the first half ended.
- During the half time the Association which side of the stands had most attractive looking females of blondish persuasion. After a vote, the title was given to stands beside the left flank by a vote of 9 to 1 with one member (Mr. Geri the Greedy) abstaining as he felt both flanks were equally attractive.
- Opposing association received the ball from the kick-off, picked up the ball, threw the ball, caught the ball, ran through the Association right flank and scored touchdown while most of the Association's members were standing beside the left flank.
- The Association lined up to attack formation to receive the ball and were given the possession of the ball when it bounced from the head of Mr. Auric to the opposing association's side of the field.
- Mr. Auric was congratulated on clever use of his head.
- Ball was given to mr. Geri the Greedy who decided to remain stationary on the middle of the field because he still couldn't decide which flank to go for.
- Mr. Geri the Greedy was marked by two members of the opposing association which resulted in mr. Greedy deciding that the left flank had more attractive crowd, so he knocked one of the markers down and started a run to the left.
- Mr. Greedy changed his mind and ran to the right flank.
- Mr. Greedy changed his mind and ran to the left flank.
- Mr. Greedy noticed that the crowd behind the opposing association's goal zone was extremly attractive and mainly of blonde and red-dressed persuasion so he decided to run to the goal zone and score a touchdown just as the physical activity ended.
- The meeting of the association was closed with a tradional group wolf-whistle.


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RL comments:
The block dice were quite lopsided today, as I succeeded in almost every block while Oller mainly had to settle for pushbacks. The game was still quite tight as Oller played a flawles game but unfortunately Nuffle didn't favor him today and I also had the advantage of numbers most of the game. The defensive game of the elfs was especially good, I didn't get any chances for fast scoring and had to use two go-for-its for the winning TD at the end of the second half. Nice and tight game that could've been very different if Oller had had even a normal block dice ratio.

[J-Reedy]

The night before the match between the CRUNCH MASTERS VS GENTLEMEN WOLF-WHISTLERS:
...
- Who, you dear sir, are calling a furry fleebag I may enquire?
- Ur dog u brink here u big snotnose!
- Oh, you must mean my friend mr. Geri the Greedy. He is our star scorer. I must introduce myself, I'm mr. Orson from the Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers, club for gentlemen of whistling persuasion and afondness for red-dressed blondes. I understand we'll be playing an orc team with the name of Crunch Masters tomorrow. Have I understood correctly, that you dear sir are the captain of the team in question?
- Whaa?
- Oh, I see. Yes, we Crunch Masters play tomorrow. You the captain?
- Me da captain! We crunch you!
- Yes, our analysis of the situation corresponds with your assesment. But enough of the match analysis, we really just popped in to ask your opinion of that lovely goddess thay call Lady Luck. Have you heard of her?
- No ladies here. No gods but Gork and Mork! Gork strong! Mork brainy!
- Yes, so if I understood you correctly you don't approve of Lady Luck?
- No know lucky lady. Only Gork and Mork!
- Yes, it is rumored that Lady Luck is very beautiful, much like the loveliest elf maidens.
- Elfs r ugly! Funny color, no nice fangs and too skinny!
- So you're saying that Lady Luck is ugly?
- Must be if look like pointy ears! HA! HAA! Your lady is ugly!
- Excuse me, I was a bit distracted. Could you repeat what you just said? And whom were you talking about again?
- Your lady lucky, she ugly!
- So in your opinion the lovely and wise goddess Lady Luck, who according to rumours is very elven-like but more beutiful than any of the elfs, is not to your liking? Might you even suggest that she is a tramp and a harlot?
- The ugly lady is a tramp! You strangers go into the night now! Our bar, my way! We crush you tomorrow!
- Well, I must Bid You Adieu then. See you tomorrow, ta-ta! Come now mr. Greedy, you can let go of that fellow now.
...
- Do you think this did the trick mr. Orson?
- We can only hope so mr. Greedy. You did remember I flaunted Lady Luck's beauty all the way here. She is so vain, that she must've kept on listening. Those orcs won't be having any of her favours tomorrow if she heard them!
- Ahem, mr. Orson, you probably just joked about the beautiful Lady Luck being vain, right? I mean, how could the most beautiful goddess in all the world be vain because there is no one to rival her in beauty!
- ... damn. YES! You're right mr. Greedy, I was just joking. Who would dream of calling such a sight of splendour and adornment anything but the most perfect beauty in all the known exsistance!
...
- I really hope you didn't ruin it, mr. Orson.
- Me too, mr. Greedy. Otherwise we'll get our sitting parts handed to us tomorrow.

---------------

And the match between the Crunch Masters and Gentlement Wolf-Whistlers ended in 1-0 victory for the W-W. Either the above scenario occurred or Nuffle and Lady Luck were out drinking together, because Paspawn seemed to fail every dodge roll and both of us had smaller and larger skulls showing up on our block dice frequently. Paspawn was finally the more unlucky of the two of us as I actually had even a few succesful one die blocks. "Interesting" game with both teams just trying to survive the bad diece at the end of second half.

[Luiggi]

Orkitis B.C. 1 - 1 Fasta Stronga Betta

I don't have too much time to write a report right now, maybe tomorrow I'll take the time.

Let's say snotlings and orcs traded armor. The game ended with 2 snotling casualties and 6 orc casualties (47% of armor breaks on orcs and 50% of Injury in the injury roll)... too much punishment. On their side, they got injured twice (+ 2 KO) out of 13 armor breaks (with stunty on 11 of those rolls).

It's true that I didn't play very smart either, I should have been running away from those ogres and instead I confronted them, allowing him to score in my first drive of possession. Luckily for me, when I had only 6 orcs on the field, I made a crazy rush for the ball carrier, got away with 3 3+ dodges, knocked the ball loose, and my loyal crowd put it 1 square away from his end-zone, allowing a blitzer to score easily.

I ended up happy with the tie, considering how things went... I had to use my Apoth on the first turn and I'll even have to be thankful I only got 1 fractured skull and 1 damaged back after that. At least I got 70k winnings to buy another black orc (I'm sacking the poor av 8 one, lol).

Good game though, lots of turnovers, rerolls gone in 4 turns each half... lots of ups and downs. Good luck in the season, it's never easy to coach Ogres :D Though you can be proud of them today :P

[The Golden Arrow]

Yeah it was a crazy game. My armour and injury rolls where through the roof but ogres ar ogres (and more importantly snots are snots) so they still managed to screw things up and the game went to a draw.

First half the crowd decided to stun the ogre guarding the left which left it quite open and with a flourishing pass (short pass) he had a blitzer down their with the ball and some buddies. The ogres tried to clog it up as much as possible with some snots blocking the path forward. He went forward a bit and caged up in the middle left side of my field. An ogre blitzed in and and stood beside the ball holder and another tied up some orcs while the snots got in the way and one tagged his ball holder. He knocked down the snot but didn not manage to get rid of the ogre. He bone headed instead of hitting the ball holder though but I had a reserve guy that went in with a blitz but also bone headed. I rerolled it and managed to knock him down though. The snots got round the ball and managed to pick it up. Another ogre boneheaded so I couldn't really hold his guys in, but the snots where enough in the way that he didn't manage to blitz the ball carrier. I moved up over a few turns with ogres boxing his guys in and injuring several of em and he could not get any guy close enough to blitz my ball carrier (a failed dodge and lots of ogres pummeling them helped) so I scored in turn seven.

In the second half the ball got kicked right back by my end zone and I sent some snots down there planning to have an ogre pick it up, but I turn overed before I could make the pick up attempt. He ran forward a bit and I turn overed again before I got the chance to pick the ball up. My turn three he was getting closer so I needed to pick that ball up. I did and ran up by the side line with lots of snots screening him and some ogres a bit further on. The ogres pummeled the orcs some more... He managed with a crazy three 3+ dodges, plus a block where he needed a both down (on a defender down I could side step so the ball was protected) which he got and then the ball bunced out into the crowd and they threw it out just in front of his only other guy down by the end zone just in front of it and he scored.

I had five turns left to score but got tied up and with no rerolls left the ogres skulled out a lot (it was either that or injuring his guys, I got almost no pushes at all) so he blitzed down my ball carrier and even though I managed to get it back move 5 is very slow and I did not manage to reach the end zone so the game ended with a 1-1 tie.

Thanks for the game again, it was fun with wild crazy dice and orcs in paper armour.

[J-Reedy]

Before leaving to visit the family for Christmas, I just wanted to wish everybody happy holidays. Have a nice christmas, eat well, rest and maybe even sing some christmas songs like the old classic about the famous minotaur blitzer of the well known Chaos Dwarf team from far north:

You know Crasher and Masher and Bouncer and Vixen,
Mamer and Stupid and Donner and Blitzen,
But do you recall?
The most famous minotaur of all?

Rudolph, the red-nosed minotaur
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other minotaur
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in Blood Bowl games.

Then one foggy prematch fray
Sam "da claws" came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my blitz tonight?"

Then all the minotaurs loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed minotaur,
you'll go down in history!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HYVÄÄ JOULUA! GOD JUL! FELIZ NAVIDAD!