Norsca Union League

- Umm... Mr. Gron... Shouldn't we be doing the magicast? It's been two weeks already?
- Not now Nippy, I'm busier than a beaver-bee in giant flowerwoods! Much to do! Teams to analyze! Coaches to meet! Brothels to test-drive! Rumours to investigate! And don't you forget that its Crisismash soon, so I'll have to get our Sandy Claws defences in order!
- Umm... Okay, mr. Gron... I just thought that you might've wanted to tell the people how there are three teams are still undefeated in NUL and how two of those teams will play against each other this week and how all but one green team have had a tough early season and how Morg is suing the league for false death declaration and how Ripper is causing controversy by signing to play on multiple teams during same week and how there's been curiosly large amount of draws but how that might be explained by the experience of the teams making it hard to score on them...
- Nonsense! That's trivial and superficial! I'll need to get the listeners hard, deep-cut analysis! l'll have to dig deeper into the league! Give me that shovel!
- Umm... Here you go, mr. Gron... I just don't understand how digging into league treasury would offer us any new information, I think they keep just all of their gold there...
- Shut up and dig, Nippy!


It's week five, try to thrive or just survive!

There it is. Two teams with 10 matches under their belts and with these teams, the dial goes to 11. Lizardmen are looking for retribution for the loss in the final of the last season while orcs make their debut in the final.

Play on, mates, and gongratz on making it here!

Here we go, time to see if dark elfs will get new snake skin boots or if lizards get to chew on some dark meat. We'll also learn if the 1 TD and a draw per match rate will be enough for the orcs or if the Khemri will get make like a sandman and put their opponents to deep sleep with their efficient grind.

Congrats to all the semifinalists, play on!

Season 16 is on it's last legs, so time to look ahead onto the future! That is, SEASON 17 or the No TV limits season, so it's time bring out your best!

Official Stuff
----------------------------
- This is the 3rd season from the set of 3, so there will be NO TV limit.
- Only new teams or teams that have been played in previous NUL-leagues.
- League will be played with normal 1 match week per 1 real-time week pace.
- As last season, we'll be enforcing the rule that if you don't show up to play a game on agreed time AND you don't tell about your absense at least an hour before the match in the forum, you'll forfeit the game with an 2-0 admin loss to your opponent who is waiting for you.
- ALL NEW COACHES ARE WELCOME! This is your chance of glory by starting every game with treasure trove of incentives! Start a goblin team and start practicing how to spend 1 000 000 gold pieces in incentives in three minutes!

INSTRUCTIONS FOR NEW COACHES:
1. Read the introductory thread with the explanation on league structure HERE.
2: Create an account on this forum. Note that due to high activity from spam-bots, admins have to approve your account before you can post here. This shouldn't take longer than a day or two.
3: Post a reply in this thread that you want to join.
4: Read the "Essential rules" section HERE and post a reply in that thread that you have understood the rules.
5: The admin team will add you on the participant list in this post.

OLD Coaches now the drill, just tell what team you'll be taking to the trophy hunt.

Season will probably start somewhere around the start of September.

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I'll probly continue with the Fantasy Armor Inc if I don't suddenly get a craving for some amazon stuff...

Sign Ups:
01. J-Reedy - Fantasy Armor Inc (Norse)
02. Equilibri - Da Freeboooterz (Orc)
03. Kvasilad - New Orc Gitz (Orc)
04. Gnaarkill - Old World Pirates (Goblin)
05. Mr B - Nattbowlarna (Undead)
06. The Golden Arrow - Warpstone Plumbers (Underworld)
07. Lars - In search of snow white (Dwarf)
08. Luiggi - Cola Chaos (Chaos)
09. Muller71 - Zlluga Boyz (Goblin)
10. Barmution - Mad Science Fair (Chaos Dwarf)
11. Your name and team here!

Hakos - standing by with halfies for uneven numbers

And the new season is on!
Right from the start, we have a real treat - the goblins versurs pirate goblins matchup where it is guaranteed that nothing that happens is planned ahead!
Mismatched pairs of the day match will be the dwarfs versurs elfs where elfs won't be able to fully enjoy their normal dodge-free life and the little buggers will have a hard time keeping up with the long-legged ones.
Then there's some sandy dead folks against the elfs that live in such darkness that they have to carry light-sticks with them, over-sexy norsemen against some orcs with liberal thoughts about booting and finally the yet-to-be turned into leather boots and purses versus the real-green-mean-team of New Orc City.

Play on!

- Oh... My head...
- Is that you, mr. Gron?
- Nippy! Get me some water.
- All we have is beer and wine here in the office, mr. Gron. Remember how you said we should have it stockpiled in case...
- NO! No beer. Water.
- Where have you been, mr. Gron? You missed the last week's magicast.
- Has it been that long? Can you remind me what happened with the NUL in the second week?
- Well, those nice dark-skinned elf people played the dwarfs and scored 3 touchdowns...
- So, a normal elvish touchdown-flooded win for the Sith's...
- No, mr. Gron, it was a draw, the dwarfs also scored 3 touchdowns!
- Come on, Nippy! Don't try to fool me, that's impossible! Let's here rest of the results and don't try to be funny anymore!
- The orcs drew against the sand folk, other orcs drew against the norse....
- All draws, did anybody win?
- The elfs won against the Zlluga goblins! And lizards against the other goblins.
- How many of the elfs died?
- One. How did you know that, mr. Gron?
- Because I have deduced that the elf team is cursed. So I went undercover to find out which team might have done it.
- So, is that why you were away, mr. Gron?
- Yes, Nippy. First I traveled to New Orc City to with the Unbreakable Panzer Squad. Nothing fishy there, well, except for those meat pies they sell during the match. And their fish soap is actually very meaty, maybe something is lost in translation. One all draw and another elf bit the dust. That's actually good tactic against the khemri - nothing upsets the mummies more than taking a sandy chomp out of them - but at this context very unfortunate happenstance for the elfs. Definately cursed, that team. So I decided to dig further and if you're talking about digging, nobody does it better than dwarfs. So I infiltrated the Fantasy Armor Inc team to get a closer look at their opponent, In search of snow white. That was definately a weird match, first the norse were getting beaten up like a red-haired snottling but then they suddenly started dropping the dwarfs like flies.
- I didn't know that flies are strong enough to lift dwarfs. Hey, maybe that's why they dropped them, mr. Gron!
- Ha-aargh... Don't make me laugh, Nippy. Head hurts. So the norse won 1-0 and that's when everything went awry for me... I had disguised myself as the norse apotechary's assistant and naturally I had to take part in the norse celebrations. Unfortunately I didn't know that it was also time for the mid-chucking festival for the norse. You know, the festival where they celebrate the end of last year's beer batch running out and uncorking of the new beer batch. I've never seen much beer and I hope I never will. The last thing I remember was sitting somewhere hot and seeing that norse yhetee hitting himself with some birch twigs. Very weird... Don't know how I got here or where I've been... But we better get started so we can start the match broadcast for week three, we just have to decide which of the remaining matches we're going to...
- But mr. Gron, the third week is already finished!
- What! Can't be... That would mean that I was... Three.. four... Five days... No wonder my head hurts... What happened with the matches, Nippy?
- The orcs drew....
- Again? That's a third draw for the Freebooterz, so they're still unbeaten. What about the goblin matches, how much were they beaten?
- Those lizards beat the goblins 4 to nothing and they also killed Ripper!
- I wouldn't worry about that, Nippy. Ripper is famous for those late regenerations, I'm sure we'll see him later still this season. What about the sailer goblins?
- They got lost at sea and their match was postponed. But they finally found the Khemri and lost 2 to 0.
- Yes, the famous goblin seafaring skill. Do you know that the first ever ship to sail around all seven seas was a goblin ship? They were ordered to cross the Spit'across Channel -very fitting name, as you can actually see the opposite shore across the channel - but got lost and wondered around the seas for six years before they finally got back to Spit'across. And then they accidentally docked back where they started. Hmm. So, what's next? Week 4... Yes, the Old World Pirates have a home gome against the New Orc Gitz. The goblins don't have to sail anywhere so they actually have a chance - of finding the stadium, don't know if they have a chance against the bigger greens. Oh, then there's the match with the unbeaten teams - Spawnin' Bros against the Da Freebooterz! That should be an interesting one. And then the beer-guzzlers going against the Lords of the Sith, frenzied bash against surgical bash that is. Oh noh, then there's the Drop Dead Gorgeous against the cursed elfs....
- Maybe the elfs will use the bite the dust tactic you talked about, mr. Gron!
- I don't if making those Khemri mummies any more angry than they are is a wise idea... Well, at least that match can't be anymore of a massacre than those poor dodge-reliant goblins going against those tackling dwarfs in the In search of snow white vs. Zlluga Boys. Oh, I forgot, the dwarfs got quite beaten up, they're missing two players I think... So maybe there's a punching chance for the gobbos.... Okay, Nippy, let's start planning for the broadcast. Right after you get me some water. No beer. Not ever nevermore.

- WELLCOME TO BLOOD SPORTS SPOTLIGHT! The match between the two of three undefeated teams in NUL is about to start. The teams in question are Spawnin Brothers who will be hosting Da Freebooterz! The fourth previously undefeated team, Fantasy Armor Inc suffered a loss earlier this week against the Lords of Sith while the Khemri Drop Dead Gorgeous managed to maintain their lossless streak by defeating Unbreakable Panzer Squad. Both of the elf sides will be burying one of their own this week which makes me wonder how come Grim Reaper is so fascinated with the elfs? Just look at the Unbreakables, four matches, four corpses! I know that the elvish bones are as brittle as coward's spine in a battle but they're the Unbreakables! You dear listeners might remember that I went undercover last week to find out if anybody had put a curse on the pro elfs, but I managed to recover nothing sinister... Well, nothing sinister as in curses, I have to admit that there was all kinds of dark stuff going on in the Sith locker room and if want to see something really sinister, just take a look at the laundry basket of either of the goblin teams... But I digress! Nothing was found! But fear not, I will dig out the truth for you! NIPPY!
- Yes, mr. Gron?
- Do you have that hot dog I asked for?
- Yes, but I don't think you should eat it. I bought it from that goblin vendor at the In search of snow white versus Zlluga boys match and that was three days ago...
- Ah, did you manage to see any of the match? I understand the dwarfs won with ease as the goblin trollies were even stupider than usual and the little green ones dodged as dexterously as a mummy on stilts made of rubber wood. Not a good day for the goblins as the Old World Pirates also lost against the New York Gitz in that controversial match that had to be suspended.
- Yeah, I saw some of the game, mr. Gron. Although I was with Whizzy-Pissy so we didn't so much of the game as we were on the ground level next to the cheerleaders. Whizzy says that those are the best seats 'cause you have a chance to see a glanze of the interesting bits if the wind is just right but I don't understand that 'cause I could barely see the game with all those cheerleaders dancing in front of us.
- Goblin and orc cheerleaders... Your friend really has some weird taste... Well, give me that hot-dog, Nippy! Now, my dear listeners, in just a few minutes... Burp.. THE HORROR, that taste, like thousand little worms riding a... AAARGHhhhh...
- YOUR TIME HAS COME, MY FRIEND!
- Fred! Hey, what's with the capitals, I thought you were only supposed to use the capitals for... NO! It can't be! I took the antidote before... That old crone! She...
- Fear not, Gron, I wasn't talking to you. It's Daniel, I've come to collect. COME NOW DANIEL, YOU'VE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND NOW IS THE TIME TO LET GO.
- Daniel? What who? Where? Wait, there isn't Daniel on either of the teams, so it's one of the spectators, right?
- NO, DANIEL, YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT WITH YOU. GRON NEEDS IT TO BUILD UP SOME BILE.
- WHAT?
- Here's the little fellow! Say hay to Daniel the tapeworm, Gron. He's been living inside your guts since you took a sip from that fountain at the Dirty Gitz stadium. GO AHEAD, DANIEL, I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU! We had a lovely conversation last time after you had your last near-me experience, you almost managed to take out poor Daniel that time also but now you succeeded. It wasn't the hot dog, if you're wondering, but that tea you had with Sybil who sold you the general antitode. And who foolishly told you about your last near-me experience you were supposed to forget. I'll have to have a talk with her next time we play twister.
- Twister? No, forget about that. I did this for a reason. I need to know why you're going after the pro elfs so hard this season?
- I wanted a hobby.
- Hobby? What kind of the hobby is offing elfs?
- Well, Emmyhegs told me about this new hobby where you collect Blood Bowl players. Quite popular with the live crowd nowadays, she said. So I thought I'd give it a go. And as Emmyhegs is big with those elf folks, I thought I'd start with them. I've got now a thrower, a blitzer and two line-elf. I hope I can trade my double line-elf for something that Emmyhegs has, I just haven't seen her in a while, as he's been busy with all that soul-searching stuff that she has to do.
- Emmyhegs? Collect players? Wait a minute... Do you mean M-Heg? As in Morai-Heg? And did she say that they collect players or player cards?
- Oh, you know Emmyhegs! Fancy that! I thought she only hangs out with those elf priests. Hmmm, now that you mention it, I think she might've said something about cards. Yes! She said that the players have stats on the card at their back! I didn't understand that, none of the players I've gotten have had anything in their backs. Well, except for that Beefslap fella with that weird tattoo of a orc and a nun riding a...
- FRED! She was talking about the new graze of collecting CARDS of the Blood Bowl Players! You know, little pieces of paper that have a picture of a player on the other side and stats of the player on the another side! That's a big thing right now! Not reaping actual players!
- Oh.
- ...
- This is bit of an embarresment... Ahem... Seems I have to go, Gron... Um... You're about to wake up, you see... And you'll forget about all this, you understand!?
- You can't just make me forget this! People need to...
- YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS!
- What? Where? How? Who am I?
- Mr. Gron! Finally! I thought for sure you were a goner!
- Amm... Wait, didn't I just eat that hot dog? And Fred didn't show up!
- No, Mr. Gron, no Freds here, but that nice lizard doctor from the Spawning Bros dropped by to give you some medicine. Seems he didn't have anything urgent to do as the orcs didn't injure any of the lizards seriously.
- What about the match?
- Ended in a draw, Mr. Gron.
- So both teams still undefeated... And the mystery of the elf genocide is still unsolved. But fear not dear listeners! I'l-
- I had to cut of the magicast, mr. Gron, the imps got loose and found that hot-dog. Seems we'll have to get us some new sender-imps.
- Damn! But fear not, Nippy, we'll get the imps and we'll be back! And I'll get the truth about those deaths even if it kills me!

Deer Mum and Dad
Sorry for being aways so long but mr. Gron wanted us, me and him and the sending imps of course, to see all the matches of the latest round of NUL so we've been travelling all abouts, or as mr. Gron says, we've been hitting the road as hard as a D'an Juan hits on women. I didn'ts know who D'an Juan was so mr. Gron had to explain to me that he was the orc blitzer who once scored 19 casual-tees in a single match against amazons. Mr. Gron said he had, mr. Juan that is, not mr. Gron, hired extra doctor himself to heal the amazons so that he could get the record and then he also hitted on the ref cause he was a woman and they counted that as a casual-tee.

So we started from the elfish woods where the Unkebab-babble Panzar Squaws playeds against Dhe Freeboobers. It was a nice forest and there was lots of rabbits there. I didn'ts see lots of the match as I was looking after the sender imps, Lucy had a fallout with Ben so Ben has been irradiated with her all time, so I've had to look out for them extra carefully. I'm sorry mum that I had to take the imps aways, I know you likes looking at their stuff but they promised to act out all the most interesting stuff to you when we gets back home. But the orkies winned at the end and mr. Gron said that those elfs are as brittle as fairies and play as well which made me wonder cause I remembers how you always says that uncle Benjy is a fagot fairy and he's doesn't look very brittle and I don'ts ever remember him playing anything but trumpet. So I asked about mr. Gron about that and he laughed which was nice cause it made the trip to Khemry seem a bit shorter. You sees, we next went to Khemry to see the Droopy Deaf Gorgonzolas play against the Fancy Armhairink.

There was lots of sand in Khemry but no rabbits which was a bit sad but I dids see lots of cats and toilety paper sellers about. The toilety paper sellers there are really funnies looking cause they carrys all their paper all wrapped abouts themselves. I didn't see much of the match cause there were these cats that I was stroking and I'm guessing mr. Gron always likes cats cause he said after the match that he's about to go do some heavy petting in a cathouse and asked if I wanted to go also but I says that I'd already done enough petting and mr. Gron was all surprised and asked if it had been a cheery-leader and I didn't understand what he meant so I just sayed no and that I'd just been stroking so many pussies so hard that I didn't want to do any petting anymore. Mr. Gron looked even more surprised and said that he wouldn't have figured me such a player and that he could be knocked out right then and theres as easily as the norsey players. I don'ts know what he meant about me being a player cause I haven't played Blood Bowl neverever but I did understand the bit about the norseys cause they were carrying them off the field every other turn so no wonder that they losted the game.

Next day we travelled to mountains where the In Church Off No Wights played against the Spooning Bothers and mr. Gron kept asking me all about girls and stuff how I talks to them so I told him I really don'ts talk lots to girls cause I'm so bashful and most girls think me kind of dopey and some girls make me all sneezy cause of that powder stuff they put abouts themselves as you know how the doc said that is cause I'm all-ergik to it. So I tolds mr. Gron that I always just looks grumpy near the girls and just wait for the  happy times in bed and get really sleepy fast. Mr. Gron looked really surprised again and said I was a gee-nice-us to be so good at playing hard to get. The mountains were nice but there were no rabbits but lots of goats about and we went into this mountain and there was a big field where they played the match but then at the end one of the roof beams crashed and fell on the dwarf folk but mr. Gron says that was ou-key as the liss-arts had already decided the match and won fair and square. I didn't understand which fair they had won cause I hadn't seen any fairs or carnivals there but maybe the dwarf fairs are different. But there were lots of stone squares so no wonder the liss-arts won some of them.

Next day we hadn't much to go from the mountains cause we were going close to sea Sloogey Bois play the Newt Ork Kids on the Block. That's the name of the gobble-in stadium, Block I means. There were no rabbits about and I wondered about that and mr. Gron said it was cause the gobble-ins eat them all so they keep all quiets and careful and I said to mr. Gron that sounds like uncle Johnsey when auntie Bob gets home from work and mr. Gron laughed again.  I didn't see much of the match but mr. Gron said it was amazing that he had never before seen so many casual-tees caused by a team that was only awarded one casual-tee and that the gobble-ins had won. Then we went to see the other gobble-in team, Owl-Wordly Pie-Rats. Mr. Gron said that everybody had thought that they were lost at see but then they had crashed into the Shith City all of a sudden with their ship and everybody is sayings how that is a sign of great see-man-ship cause the closest see to Shith City is hundredy leagues away and so the Lardsy Shits agreed to play the Pie-Rats even though they had thought the gobble-ins were all lost. And they was true about the see, there was no water abouts but there was lots of rabbits which made me happy. But the gobble-ins did-nat look very happy cause the Shitsy Lardsys whupped them and mr. Gron says that is cause there's too many captains in the Pie-Rats and every captain has only one non-captain to shout to, so that when one of the non-captains gets hurt, one captains starts shouting to other captain's non-captain or to other captain and that messes the things about.

So that is where we've been but now we are coming homes but I don'ts know how long it will take cause the Pie-Rats agreed to take us along with their ship cause we're going to sea them play against the Fancy Armhairink and we've now been sitting here on the deck waiting for the tide to rise and mr. Gron is getting really frustrated. But maybe we seas next week cause that's then they have the game!
Luv,
Nippy

All righty, here's a thread for the finals talk. This year's finals will be disoriented goat men against walking luggage. That is, Luiggi's ColaChaos against Golden Arrow's Spawnin Brothers. Play on mates!

I WILL do a season recap at some point as I have some ideas for it, I'm just so effin' busy at work now. Only two weeks until holiday...

Okey-dokey, let's get the ball rolling early on the S16 Sign-up (as I happen to have extra time and energy to start this thread now). There's 1 week of S15 regular season and 2 weeks of playoffs left, so Season 16 will probably start around last week of May / First week of June. As S16 will be a summer season, I think we may have to anticipate some summer holiday stuff getting in the way at times, but let's try to keep the delays in minimum.

Official Stuff
----------------------------
- This is the 2nd season from the set of 3, so this will be TV limited. TV limit will be same as with the team with the highest TV from S15 that will continue into S16. At the moment, highest S15 team TV is 1700, so the limit will probably be around 1700-1800.
- Only new teams or teams that have been played in previous NUL-leagues.
- League will be played with normal 1 match week per 1 real-time week pace.
- As last season, we'll be enforcing the rule that if you don't show up to play a game on agreed time AND you don't tell about your absense at least an hour before the match in the forum, you'll forfeit the game with an 2-0 admin loss to your opponent who is waiting for you.
- ALL NEW COACHES ARE WELCOME! This is your chance of glory by starting every game with treasure trove of incentives! Start a goblin team and start practicing how to spend 1 000 000 gold pieces in incentives in three minutes!

INSTRUCTIONS FOR NEW COACHES:
1. Read the introductory thread with the explanation on league structure HERE.
2: Create an account on this forum. Note that due to high activity from spam-bots, admins have to approve your account before you can post here. This shouldn't take longer than a day or two.
3: Post a reply in this thread that you want to join.
4: Read the "Essential rules" section HERE and post a reply in that thread that you have understood the rules.
5: The admin team will add you on the participant list in this post.

OLD Coaches now the drill, just tell what team you'll be taking to the trophy hunt.

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I'll continue with the Fantasy Armor Inc as I of the opinion that those brunken norse bastards underperformed so I'll whip them into shape during the play-off brake. Also, Fantasy Armor, Inc. is bringing out a new lineup of summer armor...

Sign Ups:
01. J-Reedy - Fantasy Armor Inc (Norse)
02. The Golden Arrow - Spawnin Brothers (Lizardmen)
03. Kvasilad - New Orc Gitz (Orc)
04. Equilibri - Da Freebooterz (Orc)
05. Gnaarkill - Old World Pirates (Goblin)
06. Mr B - old undead / new woodies
07. Barmution - Unbreakable Panzer Squad (Elf)
08. Lasseman - In search of snow white (Dwarf)
09. hakos - Lords of Sith (D-elf)
10. muller71 - Zlluga Boys (Goblin)