Norsca Union League

Goblin Taimes, issue 3/17, Excerpt from the Sports section:
Go Go Goblins Go Go Win Gobwin!
The happy news of the week come from the Blood Bowl league NUL where the 2nd match week of the season was played last week and the goblin representatives Zlluga Boys and Old World Pirates proved to be unbeatable! Zlluga boys showed that pure goblin power is superior to mineroid-pumping and alliances with weaker races as the 'boys took a win over the Underworld Plumbers. This reporter of Goblin Taimes let himself be told that the Zlluga's were so dominating, that the underworld team is considering to returning to the plumbing business. Win over the sullied ones, Go Goblins, Gobwin!
As told, the other proud representative of our race, Old World Pirates, were also undefeated in their match agains the almost bare-naked man side of Fantasy Armor Inc. The match ended in a draw but the goblin team was clearly superior on the field! However, once again, the star player Captain Hook caused two casualties but was awarded no casualties in official statistics. An outrage! Also, as is customary, Captain Hook once again officially apologized for two of his team-mates for hurting them. Draw against the furry humans, Go Goblins!
Goblin domination continued also in the ColaChaos versus the Da Freeboooterz match where the brains of the dum green ones, their goblin star player Cheezeburga, massacred the chaos minotaur so badly that the beast had to be carried off the field. Cheeseburga's brave sneak-attack helped the otherwise inadept big greens to a 1-1 draw. Cheezeburga da champion, Go Goblins!
The other big green team of the league, New Orc Gitz decided to play their match against the Mad Science Fair without goblin power. Dum green ones! They lost, proving that the dum green ones need goblin wisery to have a chance to win. Goblin wisery, Go Goblins!
The final report comes from the once-dead Nattbowlarna's victorious match against the dwarf team In search of snow white. The highlight of this match was the new record in the rat-bun sales by an individual vendor. The new record holder is Ronnald McDonnald and he's a goblin! McDonnald the goblin got the record, Go Goblins!
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Excerpt from the small news section of Tombville Towne Cryer issue 3b/17:
Goblin pickpocket arrested during the Nattbowlarna match
Stadium security arrested a curious goblin pick-pocket during the latest Nattbowlarna match. According to the official law enforcement reports the said goblin thief of the name of Ronnald McDonnald had managed to acquire a record number of purses by the curious method of replacing his victims purses with rat-buns so that the victims wouldn't notice the disappearance of their purses by the sudden lightening of their purse strings. The security officials however became aware mr. McDonnald's connivery when the foul aroma of rat-buns overwhelmed the B-section of the stands and caused sudden sickness in several spectators. According to officials, the unusually high-concentration of rat-buns was close to causing a dangerous situation of mass-poisoning that was only avoided by the quick thinking of security official that gathered up the rat-buns and dumped them to nearest safe waste deposal unit. McDonnald will be charged for 604 cases of petty-theft and 603 cases of attempted poisoning.
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Excerpt from the TROLLY ROCKTHINGS, issue MANY/MANY:
BIG MIRRACLE!
STOMPA GO SEE BASHING! BONY-THINGS BASH HAIRY SMALL THINGS! STOMPAS SHINY ROCK THING HOLDING THING TURN TO FOOD! STOMPA EAT FOOD! FOOD GOOD! TASTE FURRY! BONY THING COME AND GIVE STOMPA MORE FOOD! STOMPA FEEL GOOD! MIRRACLE!

- Umm... Mr. Gron... Shouldn't we be doing the magicast? It's been two weeks already?
- Not now Nippy, I'm busier than a beaver-bee in giant flowerwoods! Much to do! Teams to analyze! Coaches to meet! Brothels to test-drive! Rumours to investigate! And don't you forget that its Crisismash soon, so I'll have to get our Sandy Claws defences in order!
- Umm... Okay, mr. Gron... I just thought that you might've wanted to tell the people how there are three teams are still undefeated in NUL and how two of those teams will play against each other this week and how all but one green team have had a tough early season and how Morg is suing the league for false death declaration and how Ripper is causing controversy by signing to play on multiple teams during same week and how there's been curiosly large amount of draws but how that might be explained by the experience of the teams making it hard to score on them...
- Nonsense! That's trivial and superficial! I'll need to get the listeners hard, deep-cut analysis! l'll have to dig deeper into the league! Give me that shovel!
- Umm... Here you go, mr. Gron... I just don't understand how digging into league treasury would offer us any new information, I think they keep just all of their gold there...
- Shut up and dig, Nippy!


It's week five, try to thrive or just survive!

All right, the S16 is over, so let's start planning for the S17 startup. I suggest that we aim for Monday, September 8th, so everybody has a week to prepare!

- Wellcome TO BLOOD SPORTS SPOTLIGHT! There's something special in the air tonight, and for once, it's not the stench of troll droppings under the seats. Because my dear listeners, we're coming to you LIVE from the FINAL MATCH of the Norsca Union League! That's right, folks, the match between the lizard brethen the Spawnin Brothers and the orcish pride the - sorry folks - DA Freebooterz! The undefeated orcs are making their final debute while the technically undefeated - as you might remember that the only loss that the Spawnin Bros suffered was a league-sanctioned loss against the Drop Dead Gorgeous because the lizard team got lost in a freak sand-storm while traveling to Khemri - lizards are trying to make it one better than last year when they appeared in the finals against Cola Chaos.  And it get's better folks! We also have a special color commentator...
- I must object dead sir, I find that my complexion is on the normal side, there's nothing special about the colour of my skin! Or maybe it's because I dont' have any skin, HAA-HAA!
- Yes sir, my dear listeners, you heard it right! Who's the only player who has ever played Blood bowl in BOTH in an orc AND in a lizard team – and of course, after his regular career, in numerous undead teams. That would of course be none other than the famous Phil "Da Stompee" Punsaxeatawney! You of course started your career as a runner with the Lustria's Pride and after your amazing three seasons you moved to the orc team Da Stompas for the two seasons when the Bashbombaa league allowed goblins to be replaced with any players of similar size.
- Yes, that's right Gron! Unfortunately I have to say that the experience proved to be relatively short-lived as the team shortly recruited Chucka'Eater and my first try as a ball substitute ended up as me becoming troll droppings, HA-HAA!
- Yes, Chucka'Eater, he still holds the record for most stunty players eaten in single season. But fortunately for you, Chucka' happened to be playing a necromantic team when he finally "dropped" you and you suddenly found yourself playing playing for numerous undead team, and succesfully I might say!
- Well, most teams didn't expect a three-feet skeleton who could run. And of course, I always had a bit of problem holding my playing weight during my physical days - no problems with weight nowadays, HA-HAA!
- Well, the game is about to start and boy, the weather is as hot as a Lustrian maidens! How does this sweltering heat affectthe teams in your opinion, Phil?
- We lizards love the heat, really gets our blood pumping!  Orcs, well, they start to smell even worse than they normally do, HA-HAA!
- Game is on the way! Spawnin Brothers are on the attack, their front line goes to work! KNOCK-OUT! Cannonfodder Two - don't know what his parents were thinking - is out. Mazdamuntsa the skink gets the ball, makes a deep run on the right flank, protected by Adohichihichi... another skink.. Action on the front line, Flaprot the troll gets stunned!
- I must admit, I still get a warm fealing when a troll is hurt, even a little.
- Orc defence springs to action! Looks like Gablor is going for the blitz, trying to take out the covering skink, but he only manages a pushback. But that gives time for Mokast the blitzer and Subdar to block the right flank, no clear running line there anymore. Let's see how the lizards respond. Oh my! A skink blitz! That's a rare sight, and Gar of Swaps stuns a black orc! Mazdamuntsa changes directions and goes to center-field, protected by the kroxigor Krokssa, two saurii and two skinks.
- Mazda - as they call him - is not the fastest in the team, but he is agile, comes from the eastern parts of Lustria, you can tell that by the slanted finns.
- Gablor tries to thin the protection, but the skink he targeted holds up, EVEN AFTER that spectacular piling on, that gives lizards a line if they can just get one of the lineorcs down, and that they do!  AND MOKAST IS DEAD!
- Not so fast Gron, the orc doctory is amazing, those doctors can do miracles with their clubs.
- Your right, seems that Mokas has decided he's fine after the team doctor bashed some sense into him. It seems that the orcs are badly out of position now, so they look like they are just going to cause as much damaged as they can. And so they do, as Gar of the Swamps is piled on by Gablor, and he's out! Hurt Badly! But the  Lizards retaliate, and Subdar is pushed out of the field! OH! HE's not walking with that hip anytime soon! It was that halfling, you see, Subdar fell on his food tray, nothing makes halflings as mad if you mess with their food.
- Yes, sir, halfies never worry about their weight, really amazing how they can intake so much food. And you're right, every coach always tells his players not to mess with the halfling teams food, they get mad. Who could forget the Maccaroni Massacre of '49.
- Gabsh the blitzer still aiming for the Mazda with the ball but Kwepek takes him out. Mazda is sitting tightly in the corner with two of his smaller brethen, no orcs close to him. I'm guessing we won't see any trickery anymore in this half, this is going to be a pure bash-fest! Kwepek is knocked out and orcs have a clear line to Mazda, so he decides to move finally. TOUCHDOWN for the Spawnin Bros!
- That's takes a cold-blooded player - HA-HAA, see what I did there - to sit there waiting if any defender is going to come for you.
- Let's see the damage, Oyodon the saurus is the only lizard out due to heat. Oh boy, looks like orcs really suffered due to the sun, two black orcs and Cannonfodder One - must be some orc tribe of sadists who give their children that kind of names - are out. Subdar the linorc and Gar of the Swamps are the injured players in their teams. And here's the second kick-off! Deep ball, but Galber the thrower is close to it. Goratl is KO'd! Krokssa goes down, orcs are pushing through from the center and right flank.
- Well, looks like the Da Freeboooterz have time for two plays, let's see, might see a gobbo toss!
- Not so, Galber takes the ball, sprints forward and throws! The pass is wobbly, but Gabsh the blitzer hauls it in and goes running right! He's actually in the scoring distance!
-  Skinks will block the route, we're fast!
-  That they do, and the star-Saurus Xho of Xlanhuapec breaks tackle and goes for a blitz! Doesn't get, pushed back! But Chaq of Pahualaxa does get a casualty! Da Stompa is dead! Boy, the heat really seems to affecting the orcs, that's second death already, and this time there's nobody to help poor Stompa as the docs club was broken earlier.
- They won't get the TD, Xho is blocking the route.
- Yes, seems so, and the orc coach seems to agree, he's yelling for fist in the face play. MAZDA IS HURT! Seems like he has his hip smashed in, but wait doctor runs in, no problem, he fixed the hip!
- Yes, but unfortunately he smashed in Mazda's collar bone in the process, us skinks really have fragile bones, just look at me, HA-HAA!
- Brothers' coach gives an evil eye to the doctor and that seems to work, doc goes to work and it's all back to normal, collar bone is fine, hip smashed!
- Seems Chaq has been knocked out.
- Right you are Phil, and that ends the first half! Orcs get a second try with the attack, this time Mokast the blitzer and Cannonfodder Two will sit out the attck due to heat. And here's the kick! AND the Spawnin Brothers change their defence! That was a perfect defensive move! Not much room for the orcs, Gablor targets a skinks, gets him down, but doesn't hurt him, not eve with a piling on. Galber gets the ball, runs forward and tosses the ball! Tuknail is the intented receiver but he fumbles the ball! Ball is out and lizards have a chance! Morglum goes down, Grokfak follows! Flaprot is downed and Xho's blitz takes down Tuknail! Conqaodon the skink has a route to the ball with the orc's center line suddenly taking the nap. Conqadon runs in, gets the ball and sprints back to the lizard side!
- That's the skink quickness you see there, he sprinted twice the distance those black orcs can do in the same time!
- Galber and Gabs go through the left flank to put pressure on Conqadon but the little fellow is just too fast! He sprints through the center and changes to the right, he's now in the scoring distance! Flatprot is knocked out!  Situation seems dire, Conqadon is in a bubble, no orcs near him.
- Tough situation, let's see what the orcs, OH THAT WAS A NICE PLAY!
- Gablor the blitzer taking a big role! He dodged out and blitzed down Conqadon earning a casualty in the process. And what's even more spectacular, as he was kicking the poor Conqa's skull in, he managed to grab the bouncing ball. That takes some hand-eye-foot coordination!
- But he's not safe, Xho is brilliant at breaking tackle's and he's in the distance.
- You are like a psychic, Phil! Xho does excactly what you speculated and Gablor goes down. And here comes Goratl and it's another TOUCHDOWN for the spawn buddies!
- More like baddies, they have managed to hurt lots of orc tonight!
- Right you are there, Phil, well, we'll get another kick-off. Minda is the lone sweltering heat victing for the lizzies and only Gablor is out on the orcish side. Flatprot is also out due to KO. Another good deep kick from the lizards that makes it hard for the orcs to score fast which is what they need.
- They have four or five plays to score twice, can't see that happening, but on the other hand, that's no surprise as I don't have any eyes, HA-HAA!
- Galber picks up the ball again and goes for another throw, this time Tuknail gets it, runs to right, guarded by three, NO, two orcs, as the ref ejects Cannonfodder Two for a foul! Lizards spring to action and Guggask the linorc gets his hip smashed in! This injury list is starting look like something out of an old-folks home after a twister night, smashed hips everywhere.
- Well, looks like they might have a chance to score, the right flank is open, is he just manages that blitz!
- That he does, Tuknail that is! Skink goes down and Tuknail sprints forward, but wait a sec, is it...
-  Yeah, that's Xho of Xlanhuapec, I told you he's the master at breaking tackles.
-  Xho at it again, taking down the ball-carried third time in this match. This time Adohichic... a different skink gets the ball. Brothers try to get some protection but here comes Gabsh!
- He ain't getting up, unless there's a friendly necromancer in the stands.
- Gabsh earns a casualty from the death of Tehekaisor the skink and seems he has plenty of time to enjoy that play as he is pushed of the field! This time no halfling food is spilled, so he manages to slip into the dugout unharmed.
- This game is practically over, Gron, no orc is getting through that wall of scales and looks like Adohichichcwaq is backing to the corner. This will be pure violence from now on.
- Looks like you're right Phil, so let's just start the count. Gorxz the skink is the first one to go, looks like bad hurt. Mokast goes down from the force of his own blow, but is unhurt. Morglum is the BOB who earned the casualty. Well, nothing left to see here, ref is already eyeing the clock. Oh, looks like Adohichichcwaq is trying for a throw!
- Us skinks can't throw.
- Right you are, that's a fumble and the game is over! 2 to 0 for the Spawnin Brothers, who are the champs of the 16th NUL season! What was their secret today, Phil?
-  They managed to hurt the orcs and keep their own big guys on the field while succeeding in all the agile playes. Da Freebooterz on the other hand got their casualties, but as all of them were skinks, the lizards managed to keep their strenght advantage. And then there was the one player, that truly stood out.  Xho of Xlanhuapec should be the MVP of this match in my opinion.
- And of course the heat really seemed to affect the orcs more, they didn't have their best on the field at all times. Well, there you have it folks! We have a new champions, and they be the SPAWNIN BROTHERS! That's it from us, but don't forget, we'll be coming to your earballs next season!

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Yeps, here's a match report written live during the match, so there might be more typos than usual. Congrats to TGA for another championship!

There it is. Two teams with 10 matches under their belts and with these teams, the dial goes to 11. Lizardmen are looking for retribution for the loss in the final of the last season while orcs make their debut in the final.

Play on, mates, and gongratz on making it here!

Quote from: equilibri on August 19, 2014, 11:42:43 AM
Don't think there will be any playoff for me.
I guess it's just top2 that makes it, right?

Well, me thinks that you'll be pleasantly surprised if you head on to Semi-Finals Match page.

...Oh wait, you'll be playing against the killer-Khemri... So, you'll be pleasantly horrified!

Here we go, time to see if dark elfs will get new snake skin boots or if lizards get to chew on some dark meat. We'll also learn if the 1 TD and a draw per match rate will be enough for the orcs or if the Khemri will get make like a sandman and put their opponents to deep sleep with their efficient grind.

Congrats to all the semifinalists, play on!

Season 16 is on it's last legs, so time to look ahead onto the future! That is, SEASON 17 or the No TV limits season, so it's time bring out your best!

Official Stuff
----------------------------
- This is the 3rd season from the set of 3, so there will be NO TV limit.
- Only new teams or teams that have been played in previous NUL-leagues.
- League will be played with normal 1 match week per 1 real-time week pace.
- As last season, we'll be enforcing the rule that if you don't show up to play a game on agreed time AND you don't tell about your absense at least an hour before the match in the forum, you'll forfeit the game with an 2-0 admin loss to your opponent who is waiting for you.
- ALL NEW COACHES ARE WELCOME! This is your chance of glory by starting every game with treasure trove of incentives! Start a goblin team and start practicing how to spend 1 000 000 gold pieces in incentives in three minutes!

INSTRUCTIONS FOR NEW COACHES:
1. Read the introductory thread with the explanation on league structure HERE.
2: Create an account on this forum. Note that due to high activity from spam-bots, admins have to approve your account before you can post here. This shouldn't take longer than a day or two.
3: Post a reply in this thread that you want to join.
4: Read the "Essential rules" section HERE and post a reply in that thread that you have understood the rules.
5: The admin team will add you on the participant list in this post.

OLD Coaches now the drill, just tell what team you'll be taking to the trophy hunt.

Season will probably start somewhere around the start of September.

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I'll probly continue with the Fantasy Armor Inc if I don't suddenly get a craving for some amazon stuff...

Sign Ups:
01. J-Reedy - Fantasy Armor Inc (Norse)
02. Equilibri - Da Freeboooterz (Orc)
03. Kvasilad - New Orc Gitz (Orc)
04. Gnaarkill - Old World Pirates (Goblin)
05. Mr B - Nattbowlarna (Undead)
06. The Golden Arrow - Warpstone Plumbers (Underworld)
07. Lars - In search of snow white (Dwarf)
08. Luiggi - Cola Chaos (Chaos)
09. Muller71 - Zlluga Boyz (Goblin)
10. Barmution - Mad Science Fair (Chaos Dwarf)
11. Your name and team here!

Hakos - standing by with halfies for uneven numbers

Quote from: The Golden Arrow on August 13, 2014, 10:50:44 PM
Going to bed, thanks for the game and better luck next season.

Thanks for the game again and good luck in the playoffs!

The match was decided already in first half when my equalizing TD try was stopped by my guy failing gfi and badly hurting himself in the process which opened up my ball-carrier for a skink (I know, it's a puny skink, I'm so shamed) blitz which took out the ball. At that point  I had a choice of trying to pick-up the ball from tackle-zones or bounce the ball, I chose the more violent route and landed a saurus on the ball. Ball bounced to the stands and flew so far that only a skink could get it - and score. Second half was what I hoped for, with my drunkards slowly bashing down everything with scales (apologies to the lady in front row of stand C, but you should'nt have worn those snake-skin boots). Got the TD and bunch of spp but lost the chance for TD but I guess you can't have everything. And there's still next season for these guys...

I'll put up the S17 signup during weekend if I survive this hellish work week that I'm having. But I guess we wont' be in any hurry with the new season yet, as the MD9 is still going and anyways TGA said he'll be away until the 25th, so the first round of playoffs won't be finished before that.

Quote from: The Golden Arrow on August 12, 2014, 11:45:35 PM
Wednesday is good. How about 21.00? I could do earlier as well if you prefer.

21 will do fine, see you tonight!