Norsca Union League

Quote from: muller71 on July 06, 2014, 06:57:25 PM

I can't make it tonight. Will not be home until 23.30. Can u play tomorrow 21 CEST?

That might be possible. Monday is my boardgaming night but, as I'm living in Finnish time, I'm an hour ahead (man of future!) and I may be at home already at that time.
If 21.30 CEST is OK for you on Monday, that would make life easier for me and I can guarantee that I'll get home by then.

If that is possible, Tuesday and Wednesdayat 21 CEST is also OK.

Quote from: muller71 on July 03, 2014, 06:21:08 AM
can play on sunday at 21 CEST. monday work to, starting at 21.

Sunday at 21 CEST is OK for me. So let's go with that if it's still OK for you.

So Muller, time to meet again on the BB field. I'm guessing you'll be good to go about 21 CEST/GMT+2 so, here are the days when that's OK for me:
- Wednesday - update: have to take Wednesday off the table due to reasons
- Friday
- Saturday

Let me know if any of those suits you, sir. I'm also good to play from 18 onwards on Wed/Fre and from 14 onwards on Saturday if earlier time suits you.

A long time ago, in a Blood Bowl field far away....

A New Game
It is the sixteenth season of NUL. Elfs of the Lords of Sith have risen from their subterranean home, seeking their first win of the season in a match against the norse Fantasy Armor Inc. During the opening ceremonies, elf spies manage to steal the beer keg reserved for the Fantasy Armor Inc's secret weapon, FINNJÄVLE, a beered up yhetee with with enough power to destroy an entire front line of any team.
Pursued by the norse attendants, dark elf spy races to his side of the field, custodian of the stolen keg that can save his people by sobering up the yhetee and subduing his frenzy.
- Hey, whats ya're doing here? Let me see your identification.
- You don't need to see my identification.
- We don't need to see his identification.
- This is not the keg you're looking for.
- That is not the keg we're looking for.

Elfs Strike Back
It is a dark time for the dark elf. Although Finnjävle has been sobered up, norse the front line has knocked down the elf line and the ball has been carried to their side across the centre.
Evading the dreaded norse werewolf, a group of elfs led by a witch elf has however established a blitz play on the norse ball-carrier.
- Coach, the possibility of successfully navigating the ball through from the center is approximately 3 720 to 1!
- Never tell me the odds.
The evil dark elfs, obsessed with finding a scoring a chance, have gotten hold of the ball and sent catchers into the norse side of the field.
- What is your strategy, coach?
- There is a small hole in our flank.
- I have seen it.
- We have an elf blitzer, Darh Malek, the young blitzer who dodged away from Furry Boots. I have no doubt he is going to score.
- How is that possible?
- Look at his agility and strength. You know he will make it. He could score on us.

Return of the Norse
Darth Malek has scored against the Fantasy Armor Inc and elfs have succeeded in stopping the second norse attack. But little does the elf know that FINNJÄVLE has secretly found a new potent beer keg, even larger than the one stolen by the Lords of Sith. When buzzed-up, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of elfs struggling to hold the yhetee back...
- Soon we'll score and you will lose!
- Perhaps you refer to that imminent attack of your feeble cage? Yes, I assure you, we are quite safe from your attack there.
- Your overconfidence is your weakness.
- Your faith in your cage is yours.
....
- Finnjävle? Finnjävle? Where?
....
- Darth Vader, you can't die!
- Strong am I with the armor, but not that strong.

Revenge of the Sith
Tied! The Sith have crumbled under blocking of the ruthless Finnjävle and rest of the norse. There is a corpse on the dark elf dugout. Norse have scored. But in a stunning move, the fiendish elf blitzer, Darth Malek, has swept into norse side carrying the ball. As the desperate norse players attempt to mend weakened flank, Finnjävle leads a desperate block to roadblock the elf blitzer...
- Darth Vader... Can he hear me?
- No, Malek.
- Where is Vader? Is he safe? Is he all right?
- It seems, while blocking, a norse killed him.
- ...? They killed him! He was alive... I will score for him!
- Yeeeeeeeeeees!

Phantom Chance
Turmoil has engulfed the Norse side. The scoring prowess of the dark elf is undisputed.
Hoping to score the equilizer with a blockade of frenzied push-backs, the desperate norse have stocked all their players in front of the small elf front line.
While the congress of the elfs curiosly wonders if a chain of pushbacks can be achieved, the norse coach has already dispatched the attackers, two frenzied werewolfs, to settle the matter.
- Are you sure about this? Trusting our fate to a series of pushbacks that is hardly possible? Nuffle will not approve.
- Nuffle does not need to know.
- Well, I don't think we'll make it.
.....
- Mesa think we lost. Mesa think you screwed up!


Nothing to complain about here, Hakos played a flawless game whereas I made two mistakes. First, I pushed my first attack too early, and then I misplaced my setup a the end of the match, and the darkies took advantage of both of the mistakes. Thanks again for the game Hakos, maybe you should try playing on those pain-killers more often!

PRO GRAM CRASHES ON A BLOOD BOWL MATCH
by Will'Burn n' Shake'a'spear
Da Times, Freya's Day 27 of Buggering hot month of S16

Yesterday's Blood Bowl match between the goblin side Old World Pirates and the orc side New York Gitz came to a screeching halt when a giant "PRO GRAM!" sign that had been hung to the mast and riggings of the goblin ship HMS Gnaarly came crashing down onto the deck/playing field of the said ship/Blood Bowl venue. The match had to be suspended and the team captains started negotiating a new date for a rematch. However, as the negotiations were under away, a league official arrived on a scene. Seeing bunch of unconcious goblin players knocked out and lightly maimed by the falling signs the said league official naturally deduced that the orc team was responsible for the carnage and quickly declared the match over due to the reason that the goblins didn't have enough concious players to field the minimum team. The New Orc Gitz were declared winners as a result.

As the most englihtened or our readers probably know, Pro Gram is an organization dedicated to promoting the use of the new weight units, grams and kilograms, in goblin and orc societies. New weight units have had a hard time making it into public use in the green community as the old weight units of egg and chicken are still widely used. Part of the problem is that the old weight units were standardized just two decades ago after the 37 year war over the argument if white or black chickens should be used as the standard weight unit. Therefore it is difficult to get an average goblin or orc to understand that one egg is now 42 grams and one chicken equals 1,2456 kilograms. So it is understandable that Pro Gram decided to publize their awereness campaign by sponsoring the Pirates vs Gitz match. However, the decision to hang the giant sign weighing in excess of 500 kilograms (about 401 chickes or 25 coops) over the playing field proved to be catastrofic. But the end result may just prove to be positive for the Pro Gram campaign as this incident will surely prove to the green community that grams and kilograms really pack some weight!

Quote from: hakos on June 24, 2014, 09:38:04 AM

Thursday and Sunday times should work. I would very much prefer to play on sunday though. How about sunday at 15?

Friday evening from 18 should also work.

BR/ Hakos

Sunday @15 is fine with me. Friday @18 should also be OK (although I would actually also prefer Sunday as I have to make an early drive to west coast on Saturday). So let's make it Sunday if you don't prefer Friday?

Okey-dokey, Hakos, time for me to experience the (almost) full force of the dark side with my dwarfed-up team! Here are my okay starting times (GMT+2/CEST) that I'm sure about now:
- Wednesday 17-21
- Thursday 17-20
- Sunday 12-19

Let me know if any of those suits you, sith-sir. I might also have time on Friday evening, I'll get more info about later today.

- What's the difference between the norse and the dwarfs?
- What could it be then... Well, the norse are taller...
- Come on, that's like saying that goblins are smarter than trolls! It's not that easy.
- Hmm... They both have beards... Is it that the norse have forked beards?
- No, dwarfs do that also, makes it easier to rest the pint on their stomach.
- That's it! The dwarfs use metal mugs for beer while the norse use wooden or glass mugs!
- Nah, they both drink beer from whatever kind of mug they get their hands on. Well, actually they prefer it straight from the keg.
- Damn this is hard... Hey! Norse have those horn things in their helmets that dwarfs don't have!
- Haven't you ever seen dwarfs play against elfs? They wear horny helmets in those all the time to target the nether regions of the elfs!
- Beard... Tallness... Beer... Hey! I know it! You can't tell a dwarf lady from a dwarf man!
- Look at the dugout of the Fantasy Armor Inc. There are two norse cheerleaders there, can you tell who they are?
- Umm... I guess they must be those two curvies there...
- Those are the apotechary and his assistant, sure they look lady-like, as they're not norse. THOSE two are the lady cheerleaders.
- AGH! I thought those were the werewolfs!
- Haven't you heard? They're both injured. Got beaten up by the orcies.
- That's it! Norse get hurt more easily!
- No they don't.
- COME ON! Didn't you see how the In search of snow white rolled over the front line of the Fantasy Armor? Three injuries with three opening blocks! You can't say that those linenorse weren't as fragile as glass!
- Well, how many norse do you see in their injury box?
- Four! That proves it!
- And how many in the dwarfs box?
- Four... But hey, two of those were crowd beat-ups!
- Four injuries against four injuries and three dwarfs knocked out against none in the norse KO box. I'd say that's about even.
- All right... Hey, I'm going to go. This match is getting boring, those three dwarfs have no chance of stopping those norse from scoring. So tell me, what's the difference between the norse and dwarfs?
- I don't know. That's why I was asking you.
...


As Hakos already mentioned, that was a very, very, very frightening first-turner from Lars. First block on my lino: MNG. Second block on my 2nd lino: BH. Third block, 3rd lino: Niggling injury. After that start I was sure that I was going to lose to war of attrition.  But then I also got one dwarf injured on my first turn and then my lads kept their footing and as another dwarf got injured on my second turn, the game was afoot again. I managed to force the game to sidelines so that my frenziers could get busy with crowdsurfs which caused 2 more injuries to dwarfs. One dwarf also got ejected while fouling my Yhetee so after scoreless first half, the dwarfs started the second half with 5 against my 9 and the man/strenght advantage was just too hard to overcome. This was one of those bashy games between two bashy teams where injuries decide the end result and this time I had more luck with injury rolls than Lars. Thanks again for the game and better luck in the future, Lars!

Quote from: Lars on June 16, 2014, 10:10:34 AM

Nice to  hear about the werewolfs :)

I can play Wedenesday at 20:00 (CEST/GMT+2)

/Lars

Okej, Wed at 20 it is. See you then!

Match day forwarded and it's time for the MD3! As the next weekend is the midsommar/juhannus in Sweden/Finland (Sankthans on Tuesday next week in Norway I think?) it's to be expected that there may be some delays this week. So no pressure, if you have some plans for the weekend.

Blood Sports Spotlight will (un)fortunately be delayed as I've returned to work and I seem to have this stuff called work that my colleagues have save especially for me. But Gron and Nippy will return, maybe sometime during midsommar.


So, Lasseman, time for our matchup. I'm sure you're happy to hear that my werewolves are out. Here are my OK starting times for this week (CEST/GMT+2):
- Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday 18-21

Let me know if any of those suits you, sir. I might free time also on Sunday but I'm not sure about that until later in the week.

- Heeyyy, guysshh, that ale thoshe niche green guysh gave ushh wassh reallyyy goood.
- Yeah but thoshe dogfachesh drank most of it!
- Hey, Börger, where'd ya go?
- Ya mean Chhseshstrap? That'sh what they said we're shupposhed to call shim now.
- Chhesstratp, breashhtrap, he's Börger!
- That big green fella hit'im in the neck and he broke hishh collar boner.
- Boner! Ha-ha!
- Whatsh going on? Why do those green guysh keep hittinksh ush?
- Is that dogfashe they're carrying out?
- Looookssh like it. Wonder whichshhsh one of them it washh?
- I'll go askhh, the other dogfache is there... Wait a shecond.
- Wait! No need, they're taking the other one out alsho!
- Wonder whatsshh wrong with them? I'll go askshh the coacshh...
- HEY! COACSSHH! COACHH! HEY! WHAT'SSSH GOING ON WITH THOSSHE DOGFACHESSH?
- GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE GAME!
- What? What game?
- DAMN! No need, they just scored on us.
- Game? Ish it who drinkssh the mosht game? I like that one.
- OKEY, GUYS, WE'RE DOWN ONE BUT NOW JUST ON THERE AND BASH THEIR FRONT LINE IN! AND WHOEVER OF YOU WHO THINKS HE CAN LEAN DOWN WITHOUT FALLING DOWN GOES AND PICKS UP THE BALL!
- Hey, guysshh, ish thisssh where I'm supposhed to be? HEEYY! What'sssha doing blowing on that whishshle so hard! That hurt me earshh.
- Why are thoshe green guysh runnink around already? Ain't we shupposhed to attack?
- What'shya pusshing me for you big ugly! Take that!
- PRRRRKKEEELE!
- Quiet down, Finjävel! No need to shcream so musch. Oh, you wann hitsh that green fella? Wait a shek, I'll hold'im. No, no, if you're gonna hit'im that way, you'll fall over. There, I sshaid so!
- HEY, LUISSSH! I gotzh the ball, I betsh you a keg that'sh you can't catshh it if I
- SHURE I CANSH! Bet you a keg you won't get the ball thissh far!
- HERE IT COMESH! oh, wait a shec... ARE YOU THE LEFT ONE YOU OR THE RIGHT ONE YOU?
- No matter, I'm ambushd..., ambida..., ambbbshidxr...., ambidxshtrou... I DRINK WITH BOTH HANDSSHH!
- OKAY! Here! YOU OWN ME A KEG, I GOT IT THERE!
- HA! YOU OWN ME A KEG! I caughtshed it!
- RUN YOU BUGGER! THAT WAY!
- Whatsha yelling for coacshh? HEY! Who ya are to go pusshing people around, green fella? Some kind of pussher? Why I oughta!
- Don'tsha worry Luissh, I'll take care of him. DON'TCSSHA go pussshink my mate around!
- Thankssh Krissh.. HEY! Is that coachh over there? Yeah, and he hasshh a pint! SSHHEE YA LATER MATESSH!
- THAT'S IT YOU DRUNKEN FOOL! RUN HERE! I HAVE I PINT HERE! JUST FOR YOU! TOUCHDOWN! Nice one Luis!
- Why ish everybody shkreamink?
- Get these slobs into the dugout and find out what's going on. They're even more drunk than usual...
- Coach! I found these empty kegs from the dugout! They have New Orc's stamps on them! Looks like beer but I think I smell a whiff of troll tranqualizer in it too!
- Damn, they must've slipped the kegs onto our supply somehow... Okay, time to play it hard, open up the special keg and see that everyone gets a whiff of it!
- Coach, you don't mean... You can't...
- That's right, open up the water keg and make sure that everyone of those drunk bastards sees it's been opened. Tell them that anyone who doesn't try his hardest drinks nothing but water for rest of the week!
--------------
- That was a brilliant move, coach! They really did good there! I thought we were sure to lose after that first half!
- Can't underestimate what a threat of water does for norseman!
- Yeah, that really saved us! This draw feels like a victory!



- After one linonorse and a werewolf got injured in first turn, I thought I had seen the worst of this game. Then I got skull+both down on my only player without a block and loner did the trick with the reroll. Then my other werewolf got injured (Lars will probably be happy to hear that both of the wolves are out from MD3). Then Kvasilad scored. Then he got a blitz at the kick-off. Then I got double-skullz. Then I got double-skullz on the reroll. But after these minor inconveniences, I managed to tie the game at the end of the first half. Then the second half was more even with the dice for me and Kvasilad also got the double-skullz-into-double-skullz which helped me keep the end result as a tie. So, this was one of those games where a draw feels like a victory. Thanks again for the game, Kvasi, hope I didn't sound too frustrated after those few first turns.

Quote from: kvasilad on June 13, 2014, 06:18:12 AM

Hi, if you see this in time, and have the opportunity to start one hour earlier at 1800 today, that would be great. If not, 19 still works, I just got some plans for tonight that I would love to be available for a bit earlier :)

No problem, 18.00 is actually better also for me. So today at 18 it is.

Quote from: kvasilad on June 10, 2014, 12:30:55 PM
Friday at 19 ok? That should work well for me.

That's a date, mate. See ya in a couple of days!

Howdy-ho, Kvasilad! I'm a bit busy doing vacationy stuff this week and I have an orienteering competition this weekend, so gaming times are scarce for me. This is however, what I can offer you (CEST/GMT+2):
- Thursday, 20->
- Friday, all the day, any time, any place as long as it's my gaming den

Let me know if either of those suits you, sir. If those aren't OK, next week's Tuesday is probably the next free time slot.

- Nippy! Get in here! NIPPY!
- What is it, mr. Gron?
- We need to fire up the magicast right away! They just finished the first match day of NUL and the second week is starting soon. The people - and all the other races - need to hear my hard-hitting analysis. We need to strike when the dwarf is unconcious, as they say! Carp a d'em!
- What's fish got to do with this, mr. Gron?
- Haven't you heard of Carp a d'em play, Nippy? It started in the goblin leagues - 'cause all of the trolls playing there, you see. It's a play where player sneaks a carp on to the field and uses it distract the opposite - or their own, if you're a goblin getting thrown down the field - hungry trolls either by swinging it under their noses or smacking them on the head with the fish. It hasn't been used in ages, but we saw it this week! What a game that one between Zlluga Boys and Old World Pirates! You know, the Boys injured the Pirate trollies three times! THREE injuries on trollies! No wonder they edged out the 2 to 1 win. And then there was that play that Beerbelly the trollie made on Kenny Falmouth, that was a classic - you rarely see the old gutsplitter nowadays, Beerbelly must've been really hungry, going after poor Kenny's guts that way. Hope they managed to recover something for the burial. Maybe it was that carp, they say that fish makes the trollies actually really hungry. Hmm, maybe that's why they haven't tried the Carp a d'em playe for a while...
- Oh, you really know lot's about Blood Bowl, mr. Gron. Probably even more than Whizzy-pissy!
- What, oh your mate right. Yes, that's just why we need to magicast right now! The people - and all the other hordes and folks - crave for my insights! Where else could they hear about the classical Gory Howler hat-trick attack of In search of snow white!
- Was he juggler, mr. Gron? I once saw a juggler do amazing tricks with hats in the fair.
- No, no, no, Nippy! Gory Howler was the superstar werewolf of the Chewy Doggie Treats - sponsorshipped name, as you can imagine - necromancer team. Real violent one, with amazing skills, they say he was frenzied all the time because the team's coach tattooed a magical full moon onto Howler's forehead. He used to wipe out front lines all by himself, so they started calling it a Gordie Howler hat-trick when you injure one, KO one and stun one of the three players on the opposite front line during kick-off. Nobody can actually do it themselves nowadays after they banned the magitattoos but those dwarf buggers did just that against the Unbreakable panzer squad! Imagine that, going two men - or elfs - short on the opening seconds of the game! Snowy whiteless ones really had their A game on with their bashing, can't say the same about the elfs, through, Steelskin, the emerging star thrower, even managed to kill himself while dodging. I must say he was very impressive up until that last dodge - was snaking through the dwarfs as slick as a muffin-deprived husband goes through a line in front of a gentlemen's establishment. Too bad that one of the horny-helmed buggers decided to hop right when Steelskin was leaping over him. I swear all the men folk must've cringed right at that moment. But the MVP jury must've been all ladies 'cause they awarded the elfies MVP to Steelskin. That's just insult to injury, I say, with the elfs losing the match.
- I like muffins, especially the chocolate covered ones.
- ... Don't we all, Nippy. Except maybe for the lizards, they say they like their muffin cold-blooded and scaly. Them beeing cold-blooded you know. ...Hmm, I wonder if the coach of the New Orc Gitz had something to with that pouring rain at the New Orc City during the match against the Spawnin Brothers? May the orcs thought that the rain would affect the lizzie's play... Or maybe the orcs have angered the rain gods - it rained all throughout the Da Freebooter's match also, if you remember. Well, it was the orcs scheming, that plan really failed.  The ball was bouncing like crazy during the first half, no control from either side, until Addonhcz..., Adahicup..., Addhwq..., that glue-fingered skink got the ball and ran it in. And then in the second half, the lizziez came in warmed up and smacked two of the black orcs into the injury box before scoring. And then the weather changed right after that touchdown... Hmm, maybe the rain really was a scheme, curious how it stopped right after the match was practically decided - but maybe it was the lizzies doing it! Maybe the rain made them feel like they were at home in the jungle!
- Boy, you really think a lot mr. Gron!
- That's right, Nippy! And that's why people - and all the other buggers - need to know what I think will happen during the second matchweek! I need to tell them how many pirate goblins I think will get injured playing against the Spawnin Bros! Or if I think that the Fantasy Armor Inc will manage to make another surprise go-ahead-TD against the New Orc Gitz like last season! And who but me can tell the people - and all the other critters - if the Da Freebooterz are accustomed to playing in the sand and if Drop Dead Gorgeous will have enough hitting power to go against the green ones! And then there's the second elfs versus dwarfs match of the season, the people - and all the other blighters - need to know if the Snow White searchers or the Sith Lords would benefit more from an underground field - with both of the teams being from an underground dwelling origins, you see! Then I must relay to the folks if I think the Zlluga goblins have a chance against those pissed-off very breakable Unbreakable elfs!
- I'll start the imps right away, mr. Gron.