As per usual, stab away :)
All praise be to Nuffle...
TWO AMAZONS DIE - NO-ONE BURIED
It's a public secret that Nurgle teams are dirty - both literally and by their playing style. This was once again proved today in an exciting Blood Bowl match between nurglean Syphilitic Dribblers and amazonian Cougar Kittens. Clean and groomed Kittens we're so disgusted by the smell and personal hygiene - or rather lack of thereof - of the Syphilitic players that they refused to play the close contact game the Kittens are known for. Dribblers on the other hand were very eager to get their hands and horns on and into the fresh Kitten flesh.
The game opened with the amazonians receiving the ball. Kick to the middle left half of the field was picked up by Kitten receiver Lana Kreuk, twin sister of Kristin Lang who scored a touchdown in the Kittens' last match against dwarfen Bloodstone Maniax. There was however no sign of any sibling rivalry between Lana and Kristen. In a matter of fact, Kristin Lang was the key player in protecting her sister's amazing run that ended in a touchdown late in the first half. As stated, Lana Kreuk started from the left half of field. From there she sprinted horizontally to the right side of the field protected by loose amazonian cage led by Kristin Lang. When she got to the right edge she started a quick sprint for the endzone. At this point she was protected only by three other amazonians, one of whom was her twin-sister. Rest of the team were trying to keep their nurglean opponents occupied and away from the ball. This plan of attack was so succesful that when Lana Kreuk got to the goal line, she had time to change direction and run horizontally across the goal line to the left edge of the field. This ingenious play by the young catcher took so many minutes out the game clock that Syphilitic Dribblers had no chance to even the score when they received the ball after the touchdown.
After first half the score was 1-0 for Kittens and casualties were even at 1 a piece. One of these statistics was to change drastically at the second half. Second half started with Syphilitic Dribblers receiving the ball. Booming kick by the Kittens ended up hugging the right edge of the nurglean side far from the center line. Unfortunately for Dribblers the prestigor that was sent to pick up the ball tried just bit too hard and ended up slipping on the grass just after picking up the ball. Kittens lost no time in taking advantage of this mishap. Three-woman amazonian blitzing team led by blocker Teri Susan had already started a blitz towards the ball at the excact moment the ball was kicked off. They darted for the ball while other Kittens formed a protecting blankett around most of the nurglean players occupying the area around the center line. Dribblers' heroic multiarmed prestigor Pandemicus the Beast almost saved the day by takind down one of the advancing Kittens, picking up the ball and flinging it to safety of the mass of Dribblers at the center. Unfortunately for Pandemicus he wasn't the only player on the field capable of heroics. According to eye-witness statements from the spectators Teri Susan of the Kittens jumped six feet high, summersaulted, blew kisses to the crowd and added some lipstick while flying through the air to intercept the ball thrown by Pandemicus. Game was turned and fast. Teri Susan sprinted towards the goal while other members of her blitzing team swarmed the Prestigors closest to her. After that nobody touched the heroic blitzer and after playing the clock down by taking the ball to opposite corner of the Dribblers' endzone Teri Susan scored Kittens' second TD of the match. Joy of the Kittens was overshadowed by the fact that their team-mate Jennifer, while protecting Teri Susan's run for endzone, suffered a booming block from prestigor Bubanicus that left her lying on the field lifeless. Fortunately for Kittens there would be no burials today, as Kittens resident apotecharian Hugh House managed to pull unfortunate amazonian linewoman back from the gates of heaven.
Dribblers had nearly half of the second half left to score. High kick from the Kittens left the ball in the hands of the Bubanicus the prestigor. All seemed to go by the way of Syphilitic Dribblers as another amazonian linewoman was left dead on the field by the front edge of Dribblers' cage that was forming into Kittens half of the field. Luckily Kittens team manager had anticipated the game to be dirty and tough and had therefore freebooted the services of apotecharian Ceorge Ross who managed the safe the unfortunate Cougar's hide. Luck of the Kittens continued when Dribblers decided to play the ball by passing. This decision led to a chaotic end of second half that saw two failed passing attempts by both teams and no real chances to score. Therefore the game ended with Kittens winning the touchdowns 2-0 but Dribblers scoring spectacular 2 near-deaths. On a side-note, there had been speculation before the match if the spectators of the match would influence the end result of this game even more than is usual. This speculation may have arisen due to fact that Cougar Kittens visited nearby college of wizardry before the game. After this visit rumours surfaced that some of the Kittens had stayed rather late at the dormatory of certain mr. Putter, an advanced student of wizardry who earlier this year won some ill fame by scorching a pair mummies with a fireball in a match between undead Mummy's Little Helpers and amazonian Slats. This speculation proved wrong, no fireballs were launched at the match. But another cause for speculation may be the strange fact that Mr. Putter, who actually did attend the match, was attacked by unknown group of thugs and beaten severely when he was leaving the stands. Unofficial eye-witness reports state that the attackers may have been women dressed up in rather authentic looking blood bowl gear.
Nice writings dude!
Me like!
Thanks for the like Mr B! Nice to know that some enjoys the writings, although I would probably write these things anyways, as I myself really do enjoy writing them. Text must flow. He who controls the text, controls the universe (props to anyone getting these two references).
RECORD CROWDS AT A GAME BETWEEN TWO AMAZON TEAMS
It is a rare occasion when two newly founded Blood Bowl teams playing their third game of the season draw a crowd of 25 thousand spectators. But on the other hand, considering that the most expensive painting (throughout the ages amazing amounts have been paid for this work of art even though it is partly unfinished, as Pigsasso died of a stroke while putting finishing touches on the work - the artist was found lying in front of his masterpiece with a giant grin on his face) in the world is Vincent van Pigsasso's "Closeups of hot, oiled and sweaty female bodies wrestling among themselves and glistening in the sun while the crowd cheers" depicts a Blood Bowl match between two amazonian teams, it is no surpise that this kind of a record crowd was achieved today in a match between amazonian Gothia Empresses and another amazonian team Cougar Kittens. Match between two amazonian teams truly is a sight that every man should wittness if only once in their life.
To the delight of the crowd game started in sweltering heat guaranteeing that players on both team had to start the game oiled with protective sun lotions. This reporter was on the game and I can even now see the sight at the opening kick-off in my mind: as the sweat started dripping down the bodies of the players and mixing in with the oil, the players bodies started to glisten and shine, uniforms could sometimes be seen sliding away and revealinggggggggggg
....
We are sorry to inform you that your regular reporter has suffered a mild stroke. He was found on his desk holding a picture of one of Pigsasso's most famous artworks and this unfinished match report. For safety reasons rest of the match report will be brought to you by a reporter who was not present at the game and has gathered the events of the game from local hospital where a large part of the spectators for this match was taken due to exhaustion caused by an elevated pulse and extensive sweating and eye bulging.
From what could be gathered from the eye-witnesses to the match between Gothia Empresses and Cougar Kittens, it was the Empresses that were the first to receive the ball. Their thrower, ms. Androxaida quickly gathered up the ball from their backfield and advanced to left side of the midcourt. Kittens' defence on the left side forced ms Androxaida to turn center where she handed the ball to a Gothian linewoman who then started to advance along the right side of the field. At this point she was however taken down by the Kitten blitzer Marcia Bree. It would seem that ms. Bree was upset about her fellow team mate Teri Susan getting credit in press reports for the amazing interception and touchdown in Kittens last game when it was in fact ms. Bree had made this remarkable play. Eager to prove herself, ms. Bree knocked down the Empress ball carrier, gathered up the ball and started a run for the goal line. At this point spectator reports get a bit hazy, it would seem that most of the crowd was not watching the Kitten blitzer advancing to goal line with two other Kittens protecting her run. Instead they were more interesting in following closely the efforts of rest of the Kittens who were trying to keep the Empresses from following Marcia Bree. This was achieved by tackling, wrestling, blocking and otherwise womanhandling the other side's players. However, according to official match statistics ms. Bree scored the touchdown just before the half ended. Also according to records, Empress linewoman, ms. Mantamer was also taken off the field after suffering a broken jaw caused by a block from Kitten Blitzer Teri Susan. The scored touchdown resulted in a another kick-off just before the half-time. It is safe to assume that nothing interesting happened at this second kick-off, although there were numerous detailed eye-wittness reports about the mid-court tussle between three Kitten lineplayers and most of the Gothia Empresses team. There may have been numerous wardrobe malfunctions with some of players, although it also possible that these reports are result of over-geared imaginations of the spectators.
To the disappointment of the crowd, heat eased at the half time and weather returned back to ideal. Now it was Cougar Kittens' turn to start the attack. The ball landed at the right side of the field, near the midcourt. There it was picked up by Kittens' latest recruit, quarterback Joan Montana. Ms. Montana however was not yet to demonstrate her throwing skills, instead she started a long run towards the goal along the right side of the field. She was efficiently protected by her team mates who formed a dense protective cage around her and took down all the Empresses trying to break through. As ms. Montana was running along the sidelines, the eye witness reports provided were quite detailed. It would seem that there was lot of heaving of chest areas, puffing of lips, flexing of various body parts and hair-tossing going on. At the mid-point of the second half the crowd was to be disappointed by seeing ms. Montana and four other Kittens breaking away to middle of the field. After the ball was taken to middle, Kitten cage loosened and Empress players managed to put some pressure on the ball. Joan Montana however managed to score the Kittens' second touchdown just after the midpoint of the second half.
Empresses had still enough time to score when they got the ball third time. Their thrower, ms Adroxaida was again the first one to get to ball that had landed deep down Empresses side of the field. While she ran to the middle and passed to ball to a team-mate at midcourt, two of her team mates were trying to break-through the Kittens' defensive line. They were trying to get to the endzone for a chance to get a last minute TD pass attempt. Kittens however succeeded in bringing the first intended receiver down and tying the second one down with pressure from three Kitten players. The second half ended when the the Empress players tried to dodge through the three Kittens and was quickly brought down by the tackling skills of Kitten blitzers. End result was identical to the last two matches of Cougar Kittens, 2-0 victory for the Kittens.
Off character comments: ToFex80 had a bad dice day. Most of his key rolls failed which gave me couple of good chances. Lots of failed dodges, skulls after reroll was already used, double pushbacks rerolled into double pushback and even a failed apotechary roll.
Not having the writing talent of J-reedy I can still report Boom Bats finally lost their jinx which been looming over the rats this and last season. They actually managed to win and not sustaining a single injured rat! 2-1, Thanks for a great and tense game Konna, it really should have been a draw but having those nuffled dice of yours didn't help. I swear someone must have greased that pig bladder with custard. Perhaps to keep us coaches sweating while our lads were trying to grab the ball.
Cheers!
/ Rot
Quote from: Rotty on May 25, 2011, 07:40:40 PM
Not having the writing talent of J-reedy I can still report Boom Bats finally lost their jinx which been looming over the rats this and last season. They actually managed to win and not sustaining a single injured rat! 2-1, Thanks for a great and tense game Konna, it really should have been a draw but having those nuffled dice of yours didn't help. I swear someone must have greased that pig bladder with custard. Perhaps to keep us coaches sweating while our lads were trying to grab the ball.
Cheers!
/ Rot
Thanks, Rotty! The game was truly a thrilling one. Happy to have granted your streak a deserving end. My guys are notorious butterfingers and they proved themselves as such excellently tonight.
Had to mention that the winning score came by probably the most elaborate and amazing throw I've ever seen. The rats lobbed the ball all the way from their own side one square on my side of the scrimmage line to a gutter runner waiting on my touchdown area. A lucky two sixes but beautifully so, have to admit. I've uploaded the match replay file along with the stats with bb manager in case anyone's interested in witnessing this feat.
e:checked it and the throw was one square shorter than I remembered
ONE WOMAN SHOW AT THE COUGAR KITTENS vs SING A SONG EVERYDAY
To this date Cougar Kittens had played against a dwarf and a nurgle team and come away with only minor casualties. Who could've imagined that it would be a wood elf team that would manage to break the Kittens. But that is just what happened today at the Kittens game against the wood elven team Sing a Song Everyday. The game started with Sing a Song receiving the ball but Kittens seemed to get a good start by calling a blitz just at the moment the ball was kicked. Blitz was however short-lived when a Kitten lineman hit the turf while dodging for the ball's intended landing spot. And then the Kittens' nigthmare started. The bad dream came in the form of the wood-elven wardancer Ohtica whose very first blitz took a Kitten linewoman out of game. Sing a Song quickly picked up the ball and sprinted to the middle of the field. The more tackling-minded blitzers of the Kitten team tried to put pressure on the ball, but the elven thrower carrying the ball was just too slippery and dodged out of every situation. Kitten linewoman Halle wasn't as skillfull with her dodging. She managed to get fumbled on her own legs while making dodging for a block support. According to preliminary reports ms. Halle will miss her next game and may suffer from a niggling back-pain for rest of her life. After Halle was taken out of the field, the Kittens were so short-handed that Sing a Song had no trouble making a beautifull pass play to a receiver at the Kitten endzone. Game 1-0 for the Sing a Song with 2 Kittens already out and 1 knocked out.
Kittens started their tying drive 1 woman short-handed but managed to tie the (wo)man count shortly and also secure the ball. That's when ms. Ohtica struck again. A beautifull dodge & leap combo got Ohtica an unassisted blitz chance against Kitten receiver Kristen Lang who was carrying the ball inside a loose cage. Kristen went down and so did the ball. One of these two was soon picked up by Sing a Song's thrower who made a quick job of delivering the ball to a free receiver. After another elegant and effortless touchdown the game was 2-0 for Sing a Song Everyday.
The third kick-off of the game was 11 amazons against 10 elves as the Kittens had managed to take one of the elven linemen out of game permanently. But the elves would have no need for men, they had two women on their team and one of them was making a mince-meat out of the Kittens. Kittens managed take down the elven front line and their thrower Joan Montana had secured the ball back-field and was protected loosely by two of her amazon comrades. That was not enough. Wardancer Ohtica danced through the amazon line and with a help of team's another wardancer managed to place an unassisted block on ms. Montana. As a result ms Montana was taken immediately to see the Kittens' team apothecary Hugh House. After careful examination mr. House came to conclusion that ms. Montana had suffered so severe damage to her back that she would lose almost all of her agility. Mr. House quickly decided that it would be best to let ms. Montana out of here misery. Ms. Montana's funeral will be held later this week. At the field, Kittens managed to pick up the ball up but as the time was running out the clock, they were forced to go for a pass. The resulting play may give cause to wonder, if it wise to play twins in one's team. Kitten linewoman Maria had managed to secure the ball and was trying to throw it to Lana Kreuk who was waiting at the right side of midcourt. However, Lana's twin sister Kristin Lang was standing by Maria, protecting her from the duo of wardancers. Many spectators speculate that this confused the poor linewoman's depth vision severly and that is why the ball ended up dropping to ground where it was luckily picked up by Kristin Lang. But that was just about all the luck the Kittens would have, for there standing beside ms. Lang was Ohtica. You know what happened. By elven standards the game plan was simple: block, woman down, pick up the ball, fling it to closest receiver and score. After a meaningless kick-off the first half ended 3-0 for Sing a Song.
Second half started with Kittens receiving the ball. This time the Kittens had more of a try in them. The amazons started finding their tackling skills and the elves were soon playing short-handed with 2 elves out permanently and another pair knocked out. Kristin Lang even managed to take the ball to elven side of the field. And that's when the nightmare struck again. This time it wasn't Ohtica but Sing a Songer's another wardancer who made a leaping blitz-play and took Kristin down unassisted. But it was Ohtica who picked up the ball that had scattered loose and flung it to receiver at a midcourt. Strangely the elven receiver was struck by a lightning just as he was running for the goal and Kittens managed to get to ball back. But then she whose name will be cursed by Kittens from this day forward came for the ball again. Ohtica took down the ball carrier and the waiting receiver was soon once again over the goal line. 4-0 for the Sing a Songers.
This play was too much for Kittens' blitzer Teri Susan. After the kick-off she went after Ohtica with a vengeance. A lightning-fast blitz assisted by linewoman Jennifer left the heroess of the game lying on the ground motionless. Even elven apotechary couldn't help ms Ohtica who will miss her next againt game due to a Fractured jaw. This casualty and thinning of the elven roster boosted the Kittens enough so that they managed to protect Kristin Lang long enough for her to score a consolation TD for the Kittens. After the meaningless sixth kick-off the game ended in 1-4 win for the Sing a Song Everyday.
Off-character: Just couldn't stop the wardancer. Every play she made seemed to work like a dream. Injury and dodge rolls killed me in the first half and after being 2-0 down against elves you need luck that I didn't have today. Nice game by Scaurus2000, congratulations!
Eulogy for Joan Montana, a thrower from the amazonian Cougar Kittens team, graciously laid to eternal sleep by apotecharian Hugh House after a crippling injury by wardancer Ohtica
You came to play
to run and to pass
but alas
not to stay
How beautiful was your stance
how gracious your throw
sadly you get no more chance
to shine and glow
Missed you will be, said all of we
kissed your pale cheeks
gave your body to sea
and mourned you for weeks
Rest in peace and play well
be you either in heaven or hell
for no bloodbowler really dies
so there should be no cries
you just moved to a new team
to a place far away in a dream
Kick some butts and score a goal
for forever there will be blood bowl.
A new touch, splendid!
;)
Oh, I have visitors, how exquisite! My my, why do you look so bashful? Oh, I understand, yes, I'm very beautiful. But just don't upset me, I can be very fierce when angered. So please do behave. Have you been here before? No! Well let me introduce myself, I'm Lady Luck. Yes, the one who is either cursed or thanked everywhere where there's a game of any kind. But you know what? You don't have to answer, that is what they call a rhet-ori-tical question. What was I saying? Oh, now I remember. Yes, you should really be aware that in a matter of fact I rarely meddle on mortal's affairs. You see, it's really boring. Yes, they do pray for me to bring them good luck on a hunting trip or when starting a trip towards unkown. But why should I care? They aren't very nice you know, if I fail to deliver their prayers, they call me slut or a fickle little beast, but they really shouldn't. You know, I can take away their luck any second by giving my blessings to their enemies...
But there is one thing where I really do go and meddle... Can you guess what that is? War? No, no, no, you silly little thing, why should they need luck in a war? They have weapons. Love? I dare not take sides in matters of love, my sister would be really upset. You really don't know, do you? Well, I'll tell you... The place and venue that I watch almost every day and give my blessings willingly.... It's Blood Bowl! Yes! I just love the game! And there are so many little things that I can do! Just a flick of my fingers to bend just one blade of grass under some poor soul's feet to make the ground just a touch too slippery and down he goes. Or maybe I'll whisper in player's ear just as she is about to make a block and distract her enough that she'll miss and go tumbling down. You know, just the other day I had one of my greatest days in fields of Blood Bowl! I was watching the game between two amazonian teams, I just love the amazons, they are almost as beautiful as me and they do not pray for my blessings because they know that women can't trust luck in the world of men. They are so brave! Oh, but I do digress, I was talking about the match. The teams were Jungle Boogie, veterans of three seasons, team full of skilled and famous players, and the young Cougars Kittens, all rookies to the game and fighting bravely on their first season. They really were kittens, most of them just little girls, although they had hired the famous Zara to play for them for one match, but she is just one woman, those little girls should've had no chance against those warrior women of Jungle Boogie.
But they were so beautiful! I just had to make sure that they would not get hurt. I'm a bit partial to beauties you know, being one myself... Oh, I didn't too much on the first half, just made sure that every time one of the boogiers got one those cute Kittens down, I blew just enough wind to bend the grass so that they would not get hurt. And even if I do say myself, I'm a really good at that. You do notice these little perfect lips of mine, don't you? I just have to pucker them up real nice and blow and my breath is like summer wind flowing through air and doing just as I want... And I didn't stop at first half, I did that all through the second half too. The Boogiers really must've wondered why they weren't getting any hits through. You know that the Kittens only had two knock-outs in the first half and just one on the second, that's how good I am! And the other knock-out really wasn't my fault, it's so hard to do anything when a player goes flying into the crowd as violently as Demi did. And the other was just because one really nice looking boy in the stands caught my eye... Lost my concentration there for a second I have to confess. I am a goddess but I do understand charm when I see it...
Oh, look at me rambling again! The match, yes! I have to confess that I also twidged the ball a bit when the Boogier's kicked it to Kittens, just enough to make it bounce off the field. The Kittens were wise and gave the ball to Zara. And for a moment it looked like the Kittens would not need my luck! They were snailing the ball towards Boogiers side. But then that Teri Susan had to slip when dodging for a blitz that would've opened running lane for Zara. I had nothing to do with it, honest! It could've been my dad, Nuffle... Don't know if he was watching. Poor Kittens, that little failed dodge and Boogiers were all over Zara. Got her down eventually and ball went bouncing. I didn't do anything to it, I was occupied because one of favourites, Felicity from the Kittens had made such a beautifull blitz block that I just had to make sure that this one little pebble would hit the Boogier's hip just hard enough to smash it to bits. I did my best to help the Kittens, they were blocking Boogiers without any help but I made sure that they did well. But thhe Boogiers got the ball eventually, managed to even throw it to a catcher at left field. She almost got away but then Felicity made another beautiful play and the ball was loose again. And the half was so close to an end that I thought the Boogiers would not get past the three defenders. But the catcher Andromache is really skillful, you know. And I didn't even have to help her to get that good! At least not much... She blitzed her way to goal free and took the ball to endzone just as the half ended! To be honest, I did try to stop her when she was really going for the goal. She almost slipped at the goal line because I had made sure the painted lines were a bit moist. But I'm sure my dad helped her there, because she stayed on her feet and scored.
She got the ball again, Andromache that is, when the Kittens started the second half kicking the ball so high that she had plenty of time to get under it. And she even got it close to goal again by running near the right edge of the field. Kittens would've had real hard time stopping her from scoring if not for... You know what happened? A great big ball of fire struck from the skies and hit her and one other Boogier so hard that they blew straight off the field. Don't know how that happened, I don't like fire. Could've been one of those pointy hatted old men in the Kittens' luxury box in the stands. The ball bounced on the ground and the Kittens soon got it up. Oh, there was this one Boogie linewoman who tried to take it, but there were just too many Kittens there that she couldn't hold it for long. Then those little Kittens tried to get the ball throgh Boogie defence on the right edge but there was this one Boogier who just wouldn't go down. And there was nothing I could do! I couldn't blow any slippery grass under her feet because she just stood firm and wouldn't budge! The Kittens finally got through at the middle and would've had a clean run for the goal but the Boogiers did just enough to get a knock down blitz on Eva who was carrying a ball. But I was there to make sure that the ball bounced back to Zara! It was real tight and I was so excited that I just had to watch how it all would play out without me! The Kittens' final play was to send the beautiful Kristin downfield for a chance to score. But those nasty Boogiers blitzed her down just before she could get the ball. I was so proud that day! Even though the Kittens lost 1-0 I had managed to make the game really tight and exciting!
And here are the off-character comments: Had some nice luck with one dice blocks on first half, but Krim played good defence and got a last turn TD. Second half would've been fast TD for Krim if not for well-placed Wizard's fireball. Got the ball but spent too much time trying to get through safely at left flank. When I finally took the ball to middle with higher risk, successful blitz took the ball back so much that I didn't have enough time for a good scoring attempt. Krim took care of the only player close enough to score and that was the game. Boogiers just couldn't brake the Kittens armor and when they did, it was mostly stunned.
Thanks for a tense and well deserved Draw game ToFex! You really earned that draw, evening the score on the very final turn, and I'm still convinced rats are afraid of amazons... Btw you owe me for that +1 Ag Thrower you turned into a pulp ;P.
Flying Boom Bats are once more nerfed to the lowest TV in the league. Please treat them gently.
Cheers!
/Rot
As I mentioned in the match 6 thread I'll be going abroad for a few weeks this thursday and so will have to concede the rest of my matches. I'll try to get to play the current match before that, but I'll happily give the win to staffan if we can't schedule it in time. I guess I calculated that I'd manage to play all the games before the trip as the previous season only had six games and I was confident I wouldn't make the playoffs anyway. I'd be happy to return to NUL late july/early august or at the start of a following season if no one has anything against it.
HEEEELLLO and welcome to todays match between the necro Silver Hunters and amazon Cougar Kittens! We have an exceptional match waiting for us, lots of maimings and injuries to wait for! The Cougar Kittens have actually prepared for the match by hiring two additional apotecharies! Wise thing for them to do as everyone knows that an experienced necro team full of tacklers and mighty blowing and clawing werewolf will tear this skantly armored rookie amazon team to schreds!
Aaaannd there's the kick-off, aimed right at the head of the Hunters' ghoul at the centre of their own half of the field. But wait, what's happening? A breeze must've caught the ball and has fallen short, landing on the Kittens' side of the field. Looks like the Hunters get the ball without any effort! Aaaand they give to their trusty ghoul. And there goes the amazon line tumbling down! But what, no injuries! What tomfoolery is this, they didn't even brake the armor! But now this is something, this is something! Here comes the werewolf blitz aimed at the Kittens linewoman Jennifer who might be standing just a bit too close to the edge of the field.... There's the first pushback! She's right on the edge! And there she goes and crowd starts pounding on her with all of their might! What a disappointment... looks like she's dodged away from the crowd without any injuries... Back to the game! Let's see what's happening... Oh, oh, another werewolf blitz! And the amazon blitzer goes down! What what, wait, what's that! The were is trying to continue moving and is making a dodge with the tackling Teri Susan right besides him! Oooofff, that must've hurt! And it did! The werewolf's knocked himself out! And the Kittens get to the ball-carrier, he's glued up by Marcia Bree. But there comes the protection, you can always trust the wights to protect the ball-carrier! Down she goes and ball is once again caged safely. We're having a bit of the slowing of pace here, lots of pushing and showing... amazons try to hold the line... WOWWWW!! Did you see that! DID YOU SEE THAT! Two zombies out on the same play! And they didn't regenarate, they're out permanently! What a turn of events, the amazons are actually two up on casualties inflicted! But wait! No the ghoul is making a brake for it! He's scott-free and will surely score! WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT was that bright light! Looked like a flash but there is no thunder! Look, a lighting has struck the ghoul down! Ball is loose. There come the amazons, one is already besides the ball and there comes another one! She's running hard, maybe too hard... OOOFFF.... she's down, tried too hard with too little skill. And here comes the wolf! No dice, couldn't get the blitzer down but the ball is no loose, and the ghoul is getting up... HE GOT the ball up, going for the goal, stopped, playing time... There comes the blitzer, she caught him, they're just at the goal line! The ghoul's going for the blitz! Pushed her back, just all he needs! AND IT'S A TOUCHDOWN!!! 1-0 for the Silver Hunters. 2 zombies permanently out and 2 amazons knocked out, although it looks like that they're already ready to take the field. The knocked out were is also taking the field.
And there's the kick-off! Amazons still have a remote chance to score... AAAND THE CROWD GOES WILD! IT'S A REAL RIOT! GO, GO, HIT 'IM! THAT'S THE SPIRIT! And now the ref's got it under control, but looks like he set the time incorrectly, no chance for the Kittens to score now. But we'll surely see some beautiful blocks! And there they go, down, nothing, down, stunned, down, nothing, their blocking is working like a clockwork but they're soft on their blows. A blitz! And nothing. That's it, end of first half. I'm off the get a beer and maybe even the addressess of those two Bloodweiser Babes I see hanging out at Kittens bench. See you at the second half!
AAAANDDD there's the kick-off. It's a long kick, ball is taking some extra bounces.. and stops just short of Kittens goal line. There go the amazonian catcher twins, looks like Kristin has the ball, protected by Lana and the Blitzer Felicity. WHAT A NICE BLOCK! That zombie won't be getting up! Am I right? Am I right? YES I AM, he's keyoud! They're bringing the ball up, got it caged at the center... Teri Susan's blitzing the other were... AND HE'S OUT! The other were is out again! KO'd! The amazons are taking the necros apart! Wait, what am I saying? Can't be true but I must believe my eyes. They're over the scrimmage line now... Cage's getting a bit loose, they're trying to fix it, she's dodging to cover the open corner.... AND DOWN SHE GOES. Shouldn't have zigged when you were supposed to zag! No dodging today! AND THERE COMES THE LAW FIRM OF WIGHT AND WOLF LAYING DOWN THE LAW! Kristin is down and the ball is out! The Ghoul's got it! Really hard to bring that ghoul down although he is unprotected now that they got the wight down! And here comes Zara the Slayer, let's see what she'll do.. SHE'S GOING FOR THE STAKES! And right at the temple! He's knocked out, ball is scattering where is it? There it is! Just by the two amazons... sorry only one there... the other was brought down.. What's happening, hard to see... WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLAY! The downed wight got up, dodged to get to the ball, picked it up, dodged away and threw the ball perfectly to the Hunters' other wight! I heard that he was an agile beast but didn't know how agile! AND ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL PLAY! This time's its Felicity Lynette! She dodged away from the golem, blitzed the wight down, got the ball, dodged through the golem again is now protected by Zara and rest of the amazon team. There comes the wereblitz! No dice, she shook him off, but she's now surrounded by three necros... AND A NICE handoff to Zara who sprints away! And there's her protection, only the were is fast enought to get to her... There he goes! Going for it, and there's the block! No chance of bringing Zara down without assists! And Zara is returning the favour! Managed to only push the wolf back but that's all she needed! There SHE GOES AND ITTTTTTSSSS AAAA TOUCHDOWN! Score is tied and the time is almost over! Let's see the kickoff, Hunters still have a chance of scoring if they get their kickoff blitz working.... Didn't get it, the ball goes down, good kick. They're just going to lay down the punishment now! There's the wight, block on linewoman... AND HE'S DOWN the wight is down, and that's the end of the match! It's one all in a bit of upset. Tough luck for the Hunters with injuries, or rather lack of them, just one casualty for them and that was fixed by Kittens apotechary. Casualtywise it was far better day for the Kittens, who managed to inflict three of them. Fine and tight match with good defence by both teams, I'm guessing this'll rate well in the spectator ratings. But now I'm to see a babe about some bloodweiser! See you next time!
A bit more formal comments: Armor and injury rolls were extremely lopsided in my favour. Otherwise the dice were fair and game was tight.
Yeah, being down five players a few turns into the second half was harsh, very fun game though and well played :)
the empressess just got über-whopped!!!
a 3-0 defeat...
big up to the boogies, it was a slugfest for them...
PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Hi you all sweety buns out there! We just found out that our match for this week will be probably cancelled as the Brothers (Bothers more like, for spoiling our game;) team has been held up in the customs returning from Khemri:( - so we get the week off :) !!! You know what that means, it's TIME TO PARTY! AND EVERY TEAM IS INVITED!!!
We've got the great company, the place, some snackies and couple of barrels of bloodweiser. Otherwise BOB (for you Orcasmics, that's doesn't mean black orc blitzer but Bring Own Booze!). Otherwise, you only need to bring yourselves. And maybe something little to eat (Jennifer just loves deep fried skinks and roasted saurus brains, anybody bringing those is guaranteed a kiss or two...:). Oh! And Halle would really like some Bretonnian ale (anybody connected?).
There'll be of course dancing, Maria has come up with these like totally awesome moves that are just too cool!, games (dwarf tossing if any of the Bloodstone Maniaxes show up, exorcism in case any Sypphilitics make a show and everybody's favourite, curse a mummy, if the big guys from Nattbowler's or Hooligans will come!) and loads of FUN!!!!! We'll maybe even put up a swimsuit show if any of the Empresses or Boogiers dare to take us on a catwalk competition! (We understand if you don't want to, we know that we are just too cute and ever so beautiful!!! :) And hey, if both of the Singsongers and Boombattys come, we can even organize a weeklings' arm wrestle contest between those tweeny-cuddly gutter runners and those cutesy-weeny elfie catchers! We even got an old orc-made six-shooting musket and some silver bullets if the Silver Hunters' weres want to play Russian roulette! SO FUN IS GUARANTEED! COME EVERYBODY AND LET'S HAVE FUN!
We'll be starting the party at six on Festag just after everybody's matches should be finished! The place is next to the ogre bar Rockslate Gulp, the big building that used be the Mademe Moocher's Fun House for Gentlemen and Curious Boys. It's really awesome! There are lots of beds if anybody wants to sleep over and lots of funny old clothes if we want to have a costume party!
So please come and let's have FUN!
XXX
- Cougar Kitties!
P.S. Wardancers with names starting with O and ending in a and including letters h, t, i and c are not welcome. Or at least we can't guarantee their safety.
P.P.S. ANYBODY who even hints about this this party to our coach will not live to see another day :# Consider yourselves are warned. He would have us do extra practice all week but luckily he'll be away for a few days... And you know what happens when the micey coach is away... It's time for the kittens to dance on tables! PARTY ON!
Thanx mr. B for a good game, though it´s a chocking loss for the empresses!!! ;D
you really smudged the make-up on them...
hehe, your welcomed ;D
Cheers!
/B
Let me weave for you a tale of misery. Or for you with no blood in your veins, the tale of a gloried victory. For rest, a story full of extreme pains.
Once a team of Cougars quite young, their heroics still unsung, went against the great undead, whom everyone should dread. They played a game of Blood Bowl, where you're supposed to score a goal.
The undead had a mummy named Kling, whom you'd find guarding the line. Cameron of the Kittens was first to feel his sting, when the mummy nearly broke her spine.
One down were the Kittens now, but down they would not bow. The mighty Zara went after the ghoul - the one with mouth full of drool, and nearly brought him down. Then sang the heavens, down to teams made of elevens, and fired down a ball of fire, with effects quite dire. For the ball was left loose and after it they went, like chasing a goose with a neck very bent.
Demi was one to gather up the ball but then broke out a brawl. Jennifer was carried out for she was hit by - there is no doubt - a ghoul named Pebblebasher, quite a smashing trasher. And the ball was once more with the already dead, and towards the goal they once again fled.
Then struck Teri, her aim so true and hands like glue that he got the ball to carry. But before you could even hear an ooh or a boo, came a wight striking with all of his might, and down went Teri like a fragile fairy.
Ball now in hands of ghoul came a play so foul that you could hear children weep. For the dead had another mummy named Klang with fists that truly sang and Felicity Lynette's game was done. They say she'll never be same, for they say that when her skull broke, down went her flame and thirst for fame, and all that was left was smoke and they never again heard if she spoke.
Then came the hurrah and mardi gras, for the undead scored, bashing the ball down to grass.
Riot broke out, when they kicked the ball, hooligans in the stands no doubt, starting a brawl. The Kittens with the half of a half to play, went after their pray. They tried for the goal and a score they almost stole but then what was heard was a whine. For Eve had dodged, only result of which was, a shoulder quite clearly dislodged. Out she went, all her will now spent. Then came the blitz quite ghoulish, and do not be so foolish to assume that the result would be anything but boom and doom. Kittens, they never truly recovered and then it was discovered, the half had now ended and sores could be mended.
At the start of the half they call the second, for Kittens a small glimmer of hope beckoned. As even though they were only ten against eleven, they were not a pack of hen. Teri Susan - the one with fire still in her heart - took a zombie apart. He never returned and it looked like the game had turned. Then struck Zara, one called slayer, truly a fearsome player. A stab. Just a small jab. That's all it took, and out went a ghoul, like a fish in a hook and the stands shook from the cheers. And now they were ten, women against those once called men, that now counted only nine, and you could see a hope shine.
Sadly, it would not be. For however gladly I would like to tell to thee that they broke free, scored a goal and won the bowl, it would not be, that was clear for everyone to see. Those who witnessed what happened, say that the sky blackened and all hell broke loose with the Kittens heads in the noose. Ball was bravely carried, although they were closely harried, by those already once buried. And down the Kittens went one by one, some of them stun, none of them having fun. There was Pebblebasher, there was Kling, there was Klang, and so hard their fists sang notes of doom that it would be foolish to presume it would not end in a bang.
Kristen dodged right and zagged left, running in a fright, all hope bereft. For now they were four against nine, in a short time, and not within the sight of the goal line. Lana was knocked out, Anne took one in the snout. Marcia almost broke her back, hit by a thundersome whack. Demi was fouled so hard that her ankle jarred. Susan left the field, as there came a blow she could not shield. Finally even Kristen was forced to yield, loosing the ball in a fall. But still she got up and tried again, but there would be no running lane, her tries clearly in vain. For everywhere she looked, there would be only mummies glee and she could not brake free, from the arms so tightly hooked. The half nearly at the end, the Kittens spine would finally bend. Kittens and the ball went down with a bounce ...and hope... left of hope was not even an ounce. A ghoul quite foul took the ball and with a smile extremly bright, handed it off to a wight. Zara still tried to save the day but could not, I have to say. Pushed back twice she finally took a whack that made her see only black. And then they scored, the men of night, as all the Kittens were now floored, and they could not give them any more fright.
So ends my tale with the numbers that count, and fearsome is their amount. Nine casualties the Kittens were counted to suffer - could the game have been any rougher? Goals that were scored came to be two, both for the team with stronger kung-fu. So won the dead, ones everyone would be wise to dread.
After this historical ballad, some more straight-worded comments: At the first half the game promised to be a tight one with Nattbowlarna scoring after a tight tussle and Kittens getting a failed dodge away from getting an extremely likely score. Unfortunately Kittens had to spend all three (yes three) apotecharies already at the first half and still started the second half with 4 women out of game permanently. Second half proved to be a nightmare with 4 more Kittens either BH or SI'd and 2 more KO'd. Kittens still managed to keep the ball until the second to last turn but then it was 4 against 8 and Nattbowlarna had no trouble taking the ball away and scoring on the final turn. 2-0 for Nattbowlarna with some radically awesome gaming skills shown by Mr. B.
Press release from the PR department of the Cougar Kittens. To be published immediately:
Cougar Kittens hereby announce that their players Felicity Lynette, a blitzer, and Demi, a linewoman, have been officially released from the roster of Cougar Kittens as a result of players' own request.
Felicity Lynette was a promising blood bowler who had already achieved some fame and was quite well-known for her side-stepping skills. Unfortunately ms. Lynette suffered a serious skull fracture as a result of a block by the mummy Klang in the Cougar Kittens' latest match against Nattbowlarna. This injury would have resulted in ms. Lynette missing Kittens' next game and her suffering permanently from diminished ability to guard herself against blocks. Therefore ms. Lynette desided it was time for her to retire from the game of football. Ms. Lynette will be replaced by a promising young amazon blitzer named Scavo Huffman.
Demi was a mainstay of Cougar Kittens' line all trough the season. She had no noteworthy skills but was well thought of within the team and had an extremely positive influence in the locker-room. Demi suffered a broken ankle due to flagrant foul by a Nattbowlarna zombie. The injury left Demi with diminished running speed and, after frank talks with the coaching staff, she came to conlusion that she would best serve the team as an back-office employee responsible for team spirit. Demi will be replaced on the field by young amazon linewoman Sandra whom the Kittens drafted from Annette school of warriorship where she has played blood bowl for the school team Brass Bullocks.
Cougar Kittens are saddened to see two of their most liked players leave the team but at the same time wish them all the luck in their future endeavours.
Splendid writeup!! Times two, good luck with the upcoming games!
Thanks for the art work and the contribution:D
Br
/B
The match between Bloodstone Maniax - Gothia Empresses never came to the ground due to connection failures...
Had the tries for connection continued a little longer this could have been a violent saga!
fourty minutes of struggle and both managers agreed on giving it up... :(
Quote from: ToFex80 on July 20, 2011, 09:43:07 PM
The match between Bloodstone Maniax - Gothia Empresses never came to the ground due to connection failures...
Had the tries for connection continued a little longer this could have been a violent saga!
fourty minutes of struggle and both managers agreed on giving it up... :(
Yahhp. Turned off both firewalls, stll no luck.
- Kez.
Yo guys, try other days it worked for me.
It's just very unreliable connection setup that Cyanide has made.
Keep trying please... if you have the time..
Cheers!
/B
just a short note for upcoming matchday...
I´ll be away on a short trip now and won´t be back until the 4th of august...
Hopefully I won´t miss the game, and I´ll jump at the game computer as soon as I´m back!!!
Quote from: ToFex80 on July 24, 2011, 11:44:04 PM
just a short note for upcoming matchday...
I´ll be away on a short trip now and won´t be back until the 4th of august...
Hopefully I won´t miss the game, and I´ll jump at the game computer as soon as I´m back!!!
Ok, thanks for the info!
Lets have two weeks for next round then, anybody object?
/B
My name Zara Mizelle Killer but you may know me better as the Zara the Slayer. I kill ghouls, stake vampires and tear mummies to shreds for I hunger for the eradication of the unholy undead. And sometimes I even play Blood bowl. Lately a lot ot of people have been wondering why I have chosen to play my last three matches with the newbie team Cougar Kittens. Well, one of the reasons is that they pay me handsomely. But another reason is that their latest matches have been against undeads, and as you may have picked up,l I really don't like those unholy creatures. And that is why I once again chose to accept when the Kittens' coach asked me lead the Kittens against the unholy Khemri team Staffan's Hooligang. And I must confess I quite enjoyed the game. Why? Let me tell you:
The game started with the unholies receiving the ball. The promising new receiver Kristin Lang kicked the ball straight at the unholy mummy standing close to the scrimmage line. I almost laughed aloud watching how that clumsy pile of rags fumbled the ball onto the scrimmage line. And then the game started. I started running for the closest Throw-ra in sight and watched how the unholies started pushing my brave temporary team-mates around. They did not succeed but I did. My stakes struck true and the Throw-ra went down. Unfortunately he was only stunned and my hunger was not satisfied. I saw that the another Throw-ra had picked up the ball, so I commanded the Kittens to form a protective blanket close to scrimmage line and the ball. We would have to wait for our chance. It came sooner than expected when one of the skeletons tried to dodge and went down like a pile of bones he truly is. After I stunned a zombie with my stakes, the route was opened to the ball-carrying unholy and the Kittens new blitzer Scavo went for it. Her blitz was true and the Throw-ra went down and the ball fell right next to the right sideline. This angered the unholies and they managed to push the linewoman Courtney off the field and knock some of our brave women down and push others back so the ball was clear of our players. But the unholies would not have it that easy. I yelled a battle-cry and went after the ball. And the rest of the those brave young Cougars followed my suite. And then my world went black. I later discovered that I had been stunned by a block from one of the unholies. But that did not matter for I was told that while I was out, the unholies pushed Scavo - who was trying for the ball - right on the ball. The ball scattered out of bounds and the crowd caught it and and tossed it over the heads of all the players on the right sidelane, right at one of the unholy pile of bones standing at the middle of the field. Naturally the pile of bones fumbled the ball. And just as I was rolling over, recovering from the stun, I saw one of the most beautiful plays I've ever witnessed. Kristin the receiver dodged out of Tomb Guardian's grasp and went after the skeleton that had just fumbled the ball. I swear that skeleton's bone shattered to every direction when Kristin struck. They carried the bones out of the field and to my disappointment I saw the Hooligang "coach" pull those shattered bones back together and the unholy skeleton walked again. But that didn't change the fact that Kristin had done well and would do even better. For she picked up the ball and started a run towards the endzone. And rest of the Kittens covered him so well that the unholies had no chance of catching her. This energized me to great extent and my hands were like thunder and storm when I got up and struck my stakes at the chest of the Thtrow-ra standing besides me. And my heart found joy when the unholy creater screamed silently and crumbled to ground. I had managed to hurt him so badly that he would not return to the game. I gave myself a moment of joy and came to regret it instantly. For I was struck from the left and I staggered back, another hit from the right pushed me back once again and the third hit from my back found it's mark and I fell to ground right at the sideline. But that did not matter. For as I was falling down I wittnessed one of the most beautiful sights one can see at the Blood Bowl field. For Teri Susan, one of the bravest and most skilled blitzers on the Kittens team had laid a mighty blitz on the Tomb Guardian Neith the Westener and where the Tomb Guardian had only moments later stood there was now just a pile of dust. The mummy was dead. I laughed out aloud thanking heavens. And then I saw the unholies turn and start lumbering towards me and before I could do anything, they were kicking and hitting me with no remorse. The clearest foul I've ever seen but the referee must've been blind and did nothing. And, as I was knocked out, also I went blind and could not see no more of the rest of the first half.
When I came to my senses, right as the second half of the game was about to start, I heard the joyuos news that Kristin had scored an easy touchdown and we were leading 1-0. I also noticed that the weather had changed, the sun was now very bright, making passing of the ball hard for us and nearly impossible for the unholies. I got up and took a stand at the scimmage line, right next to an unholy skeleton and waited for the kick-off. The ball once again ended up right next to the right sideline but I didn't care about that. I struck my blessed stakes at the skeleton and saw him go down. Now the Hooligang coach failed to put the skeleton back together and I felt hunger ease a bit. My team-mates also did well, knocking the unholies down and the catcher Lana Kreuk picking up the ball. We quickly formed a line at the scrimmage line to give Lana protected route to the unholies side of the field. The brave Eva Gabrielle had the hardest task of guarding our weak left flank but she did well although forcing a blitzing Tomb Guardian stop its run after being pushed back once. She had given us just enough time to break the Hooligan line which we did. I led the run through the gap and deep into Hooligang side and Lana followed. Other Kittens spread out next to Lana, making it nearly impossible for the Hooligangs to get to her. The new linewoman Sandra was knocked out while keeping the unholies at bay but that did not matter, as we had cleared a route for Lana and she ran it true ending the run with a touchdown that gave us 2-0 lead.
We once again lined up for the third kick-off of the game and kicked the ball away. The kick landed right next to the Hooligan left sideline and the unholies started their last effort. Amunis Khopis, the remaining Throw-ra, managed to pick up the ball but that didn't seem to interest anyone. The unholies were just trying to lay waste to our frontline but their efforts were not rewarded as my courageous Cougar Kittens dug in and did not give an inch. We soon had a control of the center field so the Throw-ra decided to try for our half with a run hugging the left sideline. There was also a Tomb Guardian guarding the run. But as the mummy was too slow, he stumbled on his own legs and went crashing down while trying to keep up with the Throw-ra. That gave us a chance and it was all we needed. Kristin blitzed a skeleton down and then ran in just in time to give support for Eva who was blocking the ball-carrying Throw-Ra. She struck true and both the Throw-ra and ball fell to the ground. Unfortunately Eve soon followed them, as the Hooligangs stormed for the ball. But they would not succeed, as Kristin once again proved that she may some day become on of the greatest Amazons ever to play the game of Blood Bow. She dodged once, dodged twice, picked up the ball, dodged again, ran a few feet and then launched a nice and perfect throw towards Teri Susan who had cleared an unoccupied space for herself with the help of some other Kittens. Teri caught the ball which practically ended the game. We were too far from the end zone and the second half was almost at an end. Hooligangs had no chance nor interest for the ball and therefore there would be just some half-effort blocks and blitzes for the rest of the half. Hooligans got nothing out of that, but our brave linewoman Maria managed to get one of the skeletons badly hurt with her lightning fast block. And then the whistle blew and we celebrated. We had won the touchdowns 2-0 and what was the most important to me, we also won the casualties 5-0. My heart rejoiced and my hunger was satisfied for a moment.
After this somewhat one-sided commentary from the star-player Zara, here's are the at least somewhat more objective off-character comments: Staffan had no luck with the block dice, there were lot of push backs and only an occasional knock-down. I on the other hand had more than decent luck with the dice and especially Zara's stabs were murderous, she got 3 casualties out of them. On the first half Staffan had mis-click which caused a skeleton to try a failed dodge. This gave me a one die blitz on the ball-carrier, and I got it without even having to use a reroll. Then the ball scattered out of bounds and ended up in a good spot for me. That practically ended the first half. At the start of second half I managed to get a man advantage on the very first turn with Zara's stab which helped in getting a fast TD. Being 2-0 Staffan had to take some risks and the bad dice struck again. Good game from Staffan nevertheless. And sorry about the Tomb Guardian.
Well this was unexpected!?! :o
What happened Golden?
Disconnection in turn three, 2-0 for the empresses... :-\
Quote from: ToFex80 on August 07, 2011, 10:34:38 PM
Well this was unexpected!?! :o
What happened Golden?
Disconnection in turn three, 2-0 for the empresses... :-\
Keep me informed..
I've sent you a few pms ToFex, my computer broke down on me...
golden,
did you get my pm?
I´m available at 21.00 tonight, ready for a new shot! ;)
hope you can make it...
Thanx Golden for a great game...
Ended in a draw (lucky ladies!!!) 1-1.
Nice!
Thanks for the info!
Good luck in the last match for S3..
Yeah, it was a hard fought game with the amasons outbashing my poor undead, but my super ghoul proved almost invinsible in the last half where he held on to the ball almost until the last turn (surviving three two die blocks) only to get knocked down on a one die block and knocked clean out of the game when he was just a few steps away from the ghoul line. My ag 5 wight grabbed the ball on the last turn and tried to pass it to a flesh golem (of all guys) in the end zone, but an evil lady grabbed on to the ball when he tried to pass it...
It is a well-known urban myth - some might say fact -that women are scared of rats and mice. Today's Blood Bowl match between all-woman Cougar Kittens and all-ratty Flying Boom Bats Ballklubben demonstrated why women have good reason for this fear.
The match started with the Flying Boom Bats receiving the ball. And then all heck broke loose. According to rumours some spectators had gotten into an argument about which team's players were easier to hurt. This argument got so heated that the arguing sides finally decided to solve their argument with a hands-on experiment and stormed the field, trying to beat-up as many players as possible. Unfortunately the pitch invasion didn't resolve the argument, as the results were mixed: crowd managed to tackle five rats and only one amazon but none of the rats were hurt - the amazon linewoman on the other hand was stunned. As the crowd was returning to stands, Boom Bats burst into action. Gutter Runner Swiftfurs picked up the ball, made a quick dash towards center line and hurled the ball to fellow gutter runner Fastclaws waiting at the left sideline. Fastclaws caught the ball effortlessly but he managed to enjoy the company of the ball only few seconds when one of the the Cougar Kittens' most violent and feared blitzers Teri Susan hammered into him. Fastclaws went down and the ball bounced out of bounds. Crowd quickly returned the ball to the opposite side of the field where the amazonian catcher Kristin Lang was waiting. Kristin picked up the ball and made a short sprint towards center guarded by a couple of her team-mates. The closest Boom Bats player to Kristin happened to be the rat ogre Ratatosk. Unfortunately for Boom Bats, Ratatosk is know for being a bit of "personality" and, as his team-mates were yelling for him to go blitz the amazonian wench carrying the ball, Ratatosk merely shook his fists and roared in rage. Other Boom Bats' attempts to stop Kristin were in wane. On her way to goal line she blitzed down two opposing players, made a couple of beautiful dodges and in a final push managed to sprint beyond her natural abilities to reach the end zone and score the Kittens' first TD. At this point only third of the first half had been played.
Second drive of the game started with two amazon players laying on the sidelines knocked out but the Kittens still had enough players to field a full team. The starting kick landed on the near right corner of the Boom Bats' half of the field. Boom Bats quickly picked up the ball and got it onto center field in a hurry. At first amazons made no attempt for the ball and only lined up to cover the advances of the ratty team. But when the rat ogre Ratatosk threw another one of his fits, Kittens got a chance to blitz the ball carrier. Unfortunately the linewoman Cameron managed only a pushback and in the process she got too near Ratatosk, who quickly downed the wench. This opened a tiny little hole in the Kitten's line and as everybody knows, gutter runners are so petite and fast that they can get through the even tiniest of holes. So the ball was handed off to Speedy Gonzo, who leaped, dodged and ran as fast as he could and then some. Naturally, the result of this beautiful run all the way from the center field to the end zone was a TD. At this point crowd was getting very excited, as there was still a bit under third of the first half left to be played and score was already 1-1.
Third kick-off of the game was the first chance for the Cougar Kittens to get their hands on the ball without having to result to violence. This they did without any trouble, as the Boom Bats' opening kick landed out of bounds. Blitzer Teri Susan was the most experienced player closest to the line of scrimmage, so the Kittens' coach tossed the ball to her. Teri thanked for this show of confidence quite spectacularly. With a help from her team-mates she brought down the stormverming guarding the right sideline and ran deep into Boom Bats territory. Boom Bats reacted quickly and amazingly the first one to act was Ratatosk. His blow sent linewoman Courteney violently into ground. For the moment it seemed that Courteney was dead but quick reflexes of the Kittens' resident apotechary Hugh House saved the day and Courteney was later seen taking the court at the second half. Rest of the rats were also quickly gnawing at the heels of Teri Susan. Speedy Gonzo even succeeded in stopping the blitzer's run by pushing her almost out of bounds. But Teri stayd on her feet and on the field. And when catcher Lana Kreuk caught up and gave her support, it was all that Teri needed. She pushed back the stormvermin closest to her, followed through with her block and then dodged out the rat's grasp and ran as her life was at stake. The result was a TD and the Kittens' were up 2 to 1.
There was still enought time on the clock for one kick-off but Boom Bats managed to get nothing out of it. Teri Susan on the other hand was not satisfied with merely scoring. Just as the ball was being kicked, she and the rest of the amazon team blitzed. The end result was one knocked out rat by the name of Deedle Blade.
Teri's hit on Deedle Blade was so forceful that the rat didn't recover to start the second half. The two amazonian knock-outees on the other hand had rested for almost entire first half and managed to recover just in time for the second half. Second half started with Boom Bats' second kick-off and what a beauty it was. The ball landed on the right corner of the field, as close to sideline and endzone as possible. Cougar Kittens, who were in their usual line-up close to line of scrimmage, were forced to rush down to cover the ball. Some of the amazons however remained at the center, one of them being Teri Susan who was working hard at earning the MVP mention. Her first block of the second half knocked out the rat-thrower Furry Ballbreaker and this inspired rest of the ladies on the line of scrimmage to also take down their opponents. Meanwhile, the first Kittens to get to the was Lana Kreuk but her attempts to pick up the ball failed miserably. Fortunately the distance to the ball was too much even for gutter runners, so the Boom Bats had no chance of taking advantage of this fumble. Kittens finally got the ball off the ground when Lana Kreuk's twin sister Kristin Lang got to the scene. The protection around her was loose and Boom Bats might've had a chance for a desperate blitz but then Ratatosk came to Kittens' rescue. Rat ogre's block attempt on blitzer Eve Gabrielle ended with Ratatosk eating the grass. Boom Bats were so stunned by this fail that Kittens soon had Kristin running towards the center line in a cage tight as nun's chastity belt. It seemed that nothing could stop the cage's advance but then, just as Kristin set her foot on the center line, linewoman Sandra failed her dodge attempt out of Ratatosk's arms and that was all that Boom Bats needed. Linerat Guy on the Coach laid smack on linewoman Christina. As a result she was carried out of the field badly hurt. Linerat Pfffssssk's block on linewoman Anne resulted in one amazon hand getting so smashed that Anne may have to miss Kittens' next game. Rest of the rats swarmed the Kittens who were supporting Kristin's run in order to give Ratatosk a chance to blitz the ball-carrier. Kittens' sighed in relief when Kristin managed to stay on her feet and the block attempts of the frenzied Ratatosk resulted in mere push-backs. Frenzied attack had brought Ratatosk and Kristin quite near to the sideline where there relatively few rats guarding the endzone. Kristin saw the chance and took it: she dodged over Ratatosk's tail, took down a gutter runner standing in her way and sprinted for the endzone. In no time she was far away from trouble and other Kittens were positioning themselves between her and the reats. The only Boom Bat close enough to reach Kristin was Nifty Swiftfurs but he had no chance for a block so he tried to call for a blitzing help from his ratty team-mate Brent of Belows. Unfortunately Brent was guarded by Marcia Bree, blitzer quite well-known for her tackling skills, and Brent went down trying to dodge after Kristin. Nifty was soon to follow when Teri Susan caught up with him. Kristin had now a clear route to end zone and she took no time reaching the goal line and the score was now 3-1 for Kittens.
The final kick-off of the game was booted with second half almost at an end. Cougar Kittens were sure to win the match, so they only tried stay out of trouble and settled for forming a defensive line and trying to stay away from the rats. In this they did not succeed. For Guy on the Coach had found out that his true calling was to hit on girls. This he did so efficiently that Blitzer Eva Gabrielle was soon carried out of the field with a badly hurt back. Another rat out to prove something was Speedy Gonzo. He got the ball from the thrower Swiftfurs near the center line and off he went. Leap, dodge and a bit of an effort in running were all that were needed to give birth to Boom Bats' second TD just as the second half ended. The match ended 3-2 for the Cougar Kittens but the Flying Boom Bats BK won the casualties - which some true connosseurs of Blood Bowl consider to be even more important than touchdowns - 4 to nothing. Clearly a sign that women really should fear rats.
And the non-fluffy comments: Game was tight and the dice seemed quite fair, maybe a bit in favour of the Kittens. Boom Bats' rat ogre proved to be Kittens best player, single handedly stopping at least three Boom Bats attempts to blitz the ball carrier. Interestingly all of the TDs were scored with the help of go-for-its.
Very nice summary Reedy, I feel honored! But you missed to point out the Rat coach's failed fluffy cage tactics (i.e. no cage at all ). I really must get my act together until next Amazon match, and a rat with tackle.
Great match and great opposition coach :)
Cheers,
/ Rot
Quote from: Rotty on August 14, 2011, 06:20:00 PM
Very nice summary Reedy, I feel honored! But you missed to point out the Rat coach's failed fluffy cage tactics (i.e. no cage at all ). I really must get my act together until next Amazon match, and a rat with tackle.
Great match and great opposition coach :)
Cheers,
/ Rot
I agree.. They are the best..
Thanks for adding them!!
;D
So yet another defeat for the empresses!!! 1-2
Well played mooonuel... ;)
Well played Tofex it was a close game and a tough challenge to beat you :)
Well another season completed by the Dribblers and a 7th place finish makes it a fairly average one at that. 5-0-6 looks like I might of lost games trying to change draws into wins but i only scored in one game i lost >:( I also beat the 5 teams below me and lost to the 6 above. Next season will be different Papa Nurgle has promised a particularly virulent venereal disease to the team if they have a winning season :)
We are very happy to welcome our first amazon rotter to the team for next season ;) Sure she'll be very popular in what counts for the showers on a nurgle team :-*
Good "match" Barmution if you want to call it a match :D from my part good description for the match would be slaughter and oblivion...
Yeah, sorry that I got a bit grumpy, but losing 2 positionals can get the best of anyone. 1 ghoul and 1 wight will be sorely missed and with no SPP except for 5 for MVP (if it didn't land on one of the casualties), walking away with 30k (including the +10k from FAME, goddammit!) makes me feel a bit robbed. Hopefully you devastate your next opponent as much as you did me, so that I have a fighting chance against someone soon :/