Norsca Union League

Nice match reports all around! Lovely reading, I likes them.

Nice going everyone, week 3 is starting a couple of days ahead of schedule. Here are the matchups:

Beuneri's dwarfes won my necros 1-0 in a tight and exciting game. Match report will follow later on the weekend when I have more time. Thanks for the nice game Beuneri!

Just tried to play to play the week 2 match with Beuneri but we had the "port 16962" connection problem. Didn't manage to get connected and we tried with both of us hosting. I should have the all the nescessary port forwards working but I'll bouble-check them again and Beuneri said he'll try to fiddle with his settings. We'll try again tomorrow (thursday) at 15.00 GMT+2.

Could be one of those mystery problems like the one with Konna and Krim last season.

Update: Ok, the problem could be that my work laptop seems to have "stolen" my desktop's ip address when my wi-fi network crashed couple of days ago. I rebooted my router and now everything should be as it was before the crash.

Yo Beuneri

Hope you've recovered from yesterday. I'm in-game right now and will probably hang about online for an hour or so, so if you want to play now, just hop in.

If you're not up to it today, let me know if any of the following is OK:
Thursday 18-21
Saturday 18->
Sunday 12-19

Cheers

Quote from: Beuenri on December 06, 2011, 05:07:20 PM
Hmm, sorry about this, but could we play tomorrow instead? Not feeling well atm and would rather hit the bed right now.

No problems. How about tomorrow at 20.00?

Ja hyvää ittepäisyyspäivän iltaa.

Quote from: Beuenri on December 06, 2011, 06:40:44 AM
All of those should be fine enough for me, so lets try this evening, Tuesday 18->

All righty, today at 18 it is.

SEASON OPENING MAGICAST SPECTACULAR

- OK guys, let's make some magic happen! I'm ready whenever you are, start doing what you need to do to get us on the air. What ya waving about Nippy? What? We're on already... Why didn't...
- WELCOME YA ALL to the spectacular opening magicast of Blood Sports Spotlight's second season! Blood Sports Spotlight - the best place to get your fix of that addictive stuff they call Norsca Union League and that we affectionately call NUL. I'm your host Gron Grumbundy, back better than ever!
- Well, that won't require lot's of improvement.
- ...Why yes thank you... The voice you just heard belongs to our new specialist. As the NUL has taken a surge of new teams and races we haven't seen in the couple of previous seasons, we decided we should get a man who knows all about Blood Bowl and the different races that play that noble game. He is of course the former all-star player of the famous all-vampire team Red Sucks and the former coach of three-time champion Amazon team Bloody Iron Maidens - who by the way earner their somewhat uncommon name due to the uncommon iron bands they wore around their necks for some reason - but I digress back to the man in question, the current retiree from the game of Blood Bowl but still an avid follower of the game, he is of course Baron Puffly Kissycheeks!
- I prefer to be called Baron, if you don't mind Gron.
- Well, to my understanding the common etiquette in magicast circles is that announcers should go by their first name and not their title, so..
- If you don't mind some fresh bite marks in your neck...
- ...so I think we should really not give a hoot about the etiquette of magicast as we're all about Blood Bowl and Blood Bowl is all about the titles! And this year there are 12 teams in the NUL's Feeders division competing for the title, so we really should dive into the analysis of the teams and the matchups. Unfortunately we didn't have time to run a magicast before the first week of games, so we have now lots of ground to cover!
- Yes... I understand you were... incapacitated for some time. If hear that Grock the troll finally understood one of your comments you made about him couple of months ago in this very magicast and managed to even remember those comments when you met him at the opening gala. By the way, is it really as painful to have a halfling removed from your ...rear area... as they say?
- Ammm... How would I know... ...just nasty rumors.. I assure Grock and I are at best of terms now that I've gotten that court ord... Well, yes, enough about that... Baron, as I said, you're the specialist when it comes to races and specially their styles of Blood Bowling. Can you shed a light as how you've gained such an insight into these matters before we delve into the analysis of the NUL?
- It helps that I've lived for quite a while now ...I did attend the first ever game you know, as a spectator of course. Fell in love of the game at that moment. It's really a delicious and extremely filling game for the hungry... So, I guess that it could be said that I've gotten ...a taste... of every race that've ever played Blood Bowl... And one could say, that I've never been afraid of ...getting some dirt and blood on my hands... while struggling to get through in life ...or on the playing field.  
- OK... Yes.. So let's move on! We'll go by all the teams in the order of the schedule of the first week, so we'll start with the elf pro team Shining Sins and the dwarven Midget Stuntmen who went against each other in a violent match - violent for the elfs that is - where the Stuntmen got a 1-2 victory with 0-4 edge in casualties and 0-1 in deaths. You couldn't call that a surprise could you Baron?
- Must say that the elfs got the worst possible opponent for them. Dwarfs and elfs have had a long history of ...socializing with each other... so dwarfs have really learned how you down an elf ...and then beat him into a bloody pulp. Elfs are really good at jumping over opponents you know, but those pointy and horned helmets of the dwarfs really makes it painful if you miscalculate your landing spot.
- No surprises in the Shining Sins' lineup, their thrower Jll..., Yll.., Yalla..., mr. Tinuren will surely rack up some completions and then there is of course the duo of catchers that can leave anyone on the line in the straight up running contest. And if there's anything positive about their loss, I guess it is the fact that none of their skill players were injured. But they do have to freeboot a player for their next matchup. That's against the orc Crunch Masters, what do you think about the Sins' chances in that game Baron?
- Well, the league has two dwarf teams, two chaos sides and two orc hordes so the elfs won't have it easy. But I must say that if you must go against an orc team, you better do it early when the orcs have not yet learned the art of blocking. Every player of the Shining Sins has more talent with the ball than the most skillful orc player so I'm giving the Sins a fighting chance if they can stay out of fights. And I would assume that they might charm a Bloodweiser babe to help them with their knockout recovery.
- So the Sins have a chance to shine in their next match is the Baron's verdict. Onto the Midget Stuntmen that probably want to see as much as fights in their games as possible. Am I right or am I right Baron?
- No you're not, you're stating an obvious. Of course the dwarfs want to make the game as physical as possible. They're not especially good at playing the ball or making agility plays and they sure won't be making plays with their feet. But if there's one thing they do know, it's how to block and how not to get hurt. I mean come on, even the armour would be enough but then they have those buggering beards that cover their necks and soften their falls. I've noticed that the best way to play against the dwarfs is to hurl beer at them so that their beards get soaked with the stuff. That usually leaves most of the little buggers sucking on their beards in an effort not to loose any of the beer.
- Quite an unusual tactic there but very efficient against the dwarfs I assume. Well the Stuntmen have a promising runner, Alglid in their roster. The lad scored both of the Midget folks TDs. Lack of apothecary is an interesting choice, looks like they're counting on their natural defences. Will that be enough against the chaos team Disorganised Dudes whom the Stuntmen will face next?
- Ah, the horny chaos folk. Their blood is quite tasty you know, with a hint of game in the beastmen and oozes of blood in the warriors. Chaos Warriors have strength and their armour is equal of the dwarfs. But dwarfs can block and that is their biggest advantage. Nobody should be running away in this game, it'll probably be a tight game where blocks decide the day.
- Let's continue with the Disorganised Dudes. They met the norse Dragon Trainers in their first match and whupped them 2-1 both in TDs and casualties. Both teams suffered one serious casualty that won't be playing this week. The Trainers' casualty was more serious, as it was their promising rookie runner Hiccup Horrendous. Dudes on the other hands lost just a beastman and they've got enough cash to hire a new beastie boy if they want to. What's your take on these teams Baron?
- It's curious that both teams went into season without a team physician. Norse are hard to knock down, but when you do get them down, they're just as easy to brake as elfs and skavens. Horny ones have a bit tougher hide but still a good apothecary has never hurt anyone. There are of course some more ...unconventional... apothecaries, like my former team mate from the all-vampire team, Count Marrow, PhD. He prides himself on the fact that none of the casualties he has treared have ever died of the injuries suffered in the game and not a drop of their blood has been lost... Curiously all of his patients have nevertheless died.. of lack of blood.
- That's an insight into game you won't get from anywhere else right there! Back to the Disorganised Dudes, looks like they've gone with the standard lineup of the four warriors with beastmen supporting. Beastie boy Shilow Tail looks to be developing quickly into a fine player. As mentioned, Dudes' next game will be against Midget Stuntman which promises to be a tough and physical game. Dudes have the advantage in strength and Stuntmen in skills. Brute force against natural talent.
- I think horny hellhounds against bearded buggers is the more accurate description.
- As you say Baron. On to the Dragon Trainers. Norse are as talented blockers as dwarfs but their durability is nowhere near the little folks.
- Well, actually skavens could be classified as little folks and norse are as durable as them. And they are quite close in durability to halflings, who really are little folk. Do you know that halflings make quite an interesting snack? You never know what brand of tobacco and what food stuff will be coursing through their veins...
- All right, I'll have to admit you have me there Baron. But do you agree with me that the Dragon Trainers look to be developing into a surprisingly strenghty team with the beserker Gobber the Belch developing into a skillful guard player and with a werewolf and yhetee already in their ranks?
- Yeess, norse teams are known to be as strong as the beer they drink. That's why we usually replaced their ale supplies with a watered down lager before games. Those runners seem quite dauntless with their head full of beer but take their buzz away and they're just average humans running around without a shirt. But the Trainers look promising, only thing worries me about them is that smashed collar bone of the Hiccup Horrendous. That kind of injury sets them back, it'll probably take a match or two before they manage to replace him.
- Dragon Trainers next match will be a home match against Orkitis B.C. The orcs won their first match but suffered an injury that'll take one of their black orc blockers or BOBs as I like to call them out of this matchup. How do you see this match going Baron?
- As I said earlier, it is generally better to face the orcs early when they're less experienced. With the black orc Gabber Bruiz'Elbow out of the game the Dragon Trainers can easily match the orcs strength with their natural talent. But I have to say that if the Orkitis blitzer Rokzig continues his fine play, the norse will be in trouble against his mighty blows.
- Orcs are always talented and Orkitis seems to have a balanced roster. And they even have an apothecary. But have I understood correctly that the orcish medicine is quite specialized?
- You might say that. Orcish apothecaries are big brown orcs whose medical equipment consists of a club. They keep on hitting their patients onto their head until the patient decides that it is better to get healed than to suffer the treatment. Quite effective.
- Interesting. Well, the team that caused the serious injury for the BOB Gabber were the other chaos team of the league, namely Bloody Gorers. Orkitis won the touchdowns 2-0 and casualties 2-1 but the Gorers showed that they can run, as they advanced the ball just as effectively as the orcs. Unfortunately both of the casualties that the Gorers suffered were serious, so the beastman Whiz Killer and curiously named Chaos Warrior You do mean BLOODY Mary? will miss the Gorers' next match.
- I once knew a woman name Mary. But she wasn't bloody ...at least now after I left her... matter of fact she seemed quite pale. Yes, tough match for the Gorers but one positive thing going for them is that Not a ketchup fancier has learned to block quite efficiently. That'll come handy in their next matchup against those block-talent-lacking ogres.
- Right, Bloody Gorers will get a visit from the ogre team Fasta Stronga Betta who suffered a 1-0 defeat against the necromantic Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers. Surprisingly none of the FSB's snotlings were seriously injured so they'll be going against Gorers with their full strength and boy do they have strength!
- Unfortunately that strength is attached to quite thick-skulled and clumsy footed and handed ogres. The ogre teams are quite notorious as often mistaking heads as balls. Of course all usually goes well if the head in question belongs to the opposing player...
- Yes, ogres form the backbone of the team but snotlings are the ones that'll usually decide the game, literally flying through the opposing lines with the ball if everything goes well. Any speculations about the result of the Gorers versus FSB match Baron?
- One team to win, one team to lose, one league to govern them all.
- ...Not sure about what that meant. Must be a deeper meaning there. Well, on to the necromantic Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers. This is quite peculiar team, as they claim that they are not really a Blood Bowl team but a "gentlemen's club for those interested in the art of wolf-whistling". What's your take on them Baron?
- They're a bloody exclusive club I say. I once tried to get in but they have limited number of members and some of those old geezers seem to have held onto their membership forever.
- ...So they're not a Blood Bowl team?
- No, they're a fairly normal necromantic Blood Bowl team but that's just part of physical club activities.
- Can't make a head or tails of this team. Well that's not quite accurate, two of their players have tails... The werewolves Geri the Greedy and Freki the Hungry will probably see most of the action as is the way with the necro teams. And the next action that the Whistlers will see is against the dwarfen BuzcaBass who won their first match.
- BuzcaBass had efficient running from their runners Harquas and Destoral. Looks like a quite normal dwarf team, they're also lacking an apothecary which may prove fatal considering that the werewolves tend to be a bit ...penetrative... with their claws.
- Yes, the dwarfs won't have their usual armour advantage over the big hounds. How do you see this matchup going?
- Wolf-Whistlers have the advantage in speed and strength and the BuzcaBass in blocking. Lots will depend on the injuries or lack of them. If the troll slayers Anchalagon and Thornak will be able to handle the necro's golems, I'd say this might go to the dwarfs.
- Well, the team that the BuzcaBass beat in the first round was the skaven Space Cheese. Touchdowns and casualties both 1-2 for the dwarfs. Lots of running in this game, but surprisingly the dwarfs were the ones with more yards gained by rushing. One interception that the Space Cheese suffered probably decided the game. Baron, what's your take on this skaven team?
- Their thrower is Doomed. Nomen est omen, as my granddad Killad b'Granchaild used to say ...and how true he was. As always with skavens, gutter runners are the key players. Space Cheese seems to have gone with the full team of 4 runners which will enable elegant running patterns even without one handoff. Looking at the Cheese's schedule, their true test will week 4 where they go against the dwarfs. Those tackling hairy little buggers are quite problematic for those dodging furry little buggers.
- That's so true Baron. Well, the skavens are usually fast both in running and gathering experience. So if they survive long enough, this could become a strong skill team. Their next opponents might not yet be called a skilled team but they have natural talent and agility. I'm of course talking about the second elf team of the NUL, Druchii Smuchii Schmoo. They are the darker ones of the elf folk.
- Ah, the ones with violent mind who won't stand for grind. Instead they hit and run while scoring a tonne. I quite fancy dark elves. The witch elfs are quite ...witching. It's so much nicer to dine ...and wine... with a females that have little dark blood ...it tastes quite like red wine... in them. I may have to go see this matchup. DSS's Eviscerating Evilyn will have her hands full with those gutter runners, interesting to see if she'll get into frenzy when she sees the rats.
- I think that Druchii Smuchii Schmoo's blitzer trio will have to do most of the work if the elfs want to succeed whicoh they should do considering they have the advantage of numbers over the stormvermin duo of Shizz and Khizz. But you're right Baron, this should be an interesting matchup! DSS won their first match. That was the 2-0 victory over the orcish Crunch Masters. Masters have taken a bit different team buildup route with their roster as the other orcish team Orkitis. Looks like the Masters rely on the skills of throwers over the strength of the BOBs. What's your verdict on this team Baron?
- Their blitzers are off to a fast start. With a bit of luck this team will be quite skilled in a couple of games. The Shining Sins will probably put the Crunch Masters defensive skills to a test but with the strength advantage they should be able to score on a running plays. Win will probably depend a lot on the kickoff frequency and who'll kickoff first.
- That's all the teams with a brief summary of  games already played. Thank you Baron for your valuable insights.
- You're welcome, I'll take my leave now, I'm feeling a little peckish, so I'll probably go hunt a little snack for myself. By the way, that coffee-boy of yours ...Nippy I think he is named... do you know if there's any halfling blood in him? He smells quite del...
- RUN LIKE A WIND NIPPY! Well, next I'd like to introduce to you our other specialist who'll be breaking down some of the statistics of NUL for us starting next week. He is Gall'p Keines, welcome.
- Thank you very much mr. Grumbundy, it's a pleasure to be here! You know that in a matter of fact the statistical probability of an average dwarf blocker downing an...
- Sorry Gall'p but our time is running short and I'd just like to introduce you and your methods to the listeners. I understand that you're theories and modern ideas have caused quite a controversy in our lovely and traditional sport. Could you briefly sum up your theorems for us?
- Well mr. Grumbundy, I've gathered data of the all the individual performances from all of the games of all of the leagues from the past 10 seasons and based on this data I've calculated the statistical probabilities for the individual players to succeed in any given game maneuver.
- That sounds quite ridiculous Gall'p, surely you must admit that the skills of individual players decide the game, not the statistics.
- Actually mr. Grumbundy I've taken into account the experience of shown talent of the players, for example, if an average human lineman is an experienced blocker, statistically his chances of knocking down an opponent increase from 34 percent to 50 percent! That's of course assuming that he is blocking a rookie player, with no...
- Well Gall'p, it sure sounds like that if we played Blood Bowl you're way, the games could be decided with a roll of a dice! HAHAHA!
- Actually we'd might need as much as three dices to produce all the statistical variances...
- Three's better than one with beer and wenches, I'll give you that Gall'p! Well, your ideas do sound amusing, I think we'll have to you give a spot at the end of our magicast, little humor to end the serious talk of the sport of Kings, the game that even gods fear to play but love to watch. The game we call Blood Bowl. And remember, the best league for Blood Bowling is NUL and the best place to get your dose of NUL is the Blood Sports Spotlight! Tune in next week when we recap all the matches. I've been Gron Grumbundy and I wish you bloody good Blood Bowling week! Have a week!

Morjens Beuneri

Time for my wolves to hurt their claws on your dwarven armour. Here are my OK starting times for the week (Suomen aikaa):
Tuesday 18-21
Wednesday 20-22
Thursday 18-21
Saturday 18->

Let me know if any of these suits you, sir.

New week is up, time to play ball and crush skulls.

Minutes of the general meeting of registered association Gentleman Wolf-Whistlers (referred to as the association in the minutes for purpose of clarity)
at Fasta, Stronga and Betta Stadium, locker room B (visitor's locker room)

Members:
Present: Geri the Greedy, Freki the Hungry, Droopy Avery, Teddy, Orson, Hercule, Sherlock, Auguste, Arsene, Moriarty, Auric
As no one was absent, the meeting was noted to have quarum.
Others present: The association's recident physician, the noted doctor of necromancy, Mr. Coach Trainer.

Proceedings:
- The association's weekly meeting was called to order at 5.45 pm. by inspector Auguste.
- Incpector Auguste was chosen as the chairman of the meeting.
- After five minutes of silence Incpector Auguste was replaced as a chairman by Mr. Teddy as it was noticed that Incpector Auguste's jaw had fallen off when he was trying to perform the traditional opening wolf-whistle of the meeting and Incpector Auguste was now chacing the rat that had caught his jaw.
- Incpector Auguste was granted a permission to leave the meeting temporarily after the above mentioned rat ran out the door.
- Mr. Teddy opened the meeting with a lovely wolf-whistle of the eye-popping and tongue hanging type.
- Mr. Teddy's eyes were found and inserted into place by Mr. Trainer.
- It was discussed why the place for the year's first meeting had to be Ogre stadium where crowd traditionally has not very many spectators of female persuasion that could be considered wolf-whistling worthy. It was decided that the association should file a formal complaint with the NUL Blood Bowl League who are responsible for booking the meeting places. It was also decided that the league should be encouraged to allow every organization taking part in the league to hire amazon members.
- Geri the Greedy gave a presentation of new wolf-whistles under development by the association's sub-committee led by Mr. Greedy.
- Mr. Coach Trainer noted that association should be starting the physical activity part of the meeting, so the meeting was moved into the field of the Fasta, Stronga and Betta Stadium.
- The association won the coin toss and chose to kick-off the ball first. Members lined up into defensive formation.
- Members Hercule, Sherlock and Auguste were reprimanted for allowing themselves to be knocked down by the front line Ogres of the Fasta, Stronga and Betta.
- Freki the Hungry presented a lovely howling wolf-whistle after injuring snottling Nilbog Toadstool.
- The Association managed to stall the opposing attack on the last minutes of the first half so the first half ended with all 0 draw.
- During the half time the association argued if the growl of the boneheading ogres could be typed as a wolf-whistle. The issue was voted on and by the vote of 6 to 3 (Freki the Hungry and Droopy Avery were granted permission to abstain from voting due to fact they were knocked out) it was decided that, as the growl of the ogres was induced by individual's own stupidity rather than outside influences like red dresses and blonde hair, the growl would not be classified as wolf-whistle.
- At the start of the second half, the association lined up to attack formation with all their members present.
- Mr. Droopy Avery decided not to catch the ball that was kicked at him as he spotted a red dress at the stands. This decision was reprimanted, as the wearer of the dress was at closer inspection not classified as wolf-whistle worthy.
- Mr. Geri the Greedy picked up the ball and proceeded to run to the left flank where he stayed for some time while the members of both the Fasta, Stronga and Betta and the association decided to showcase their skills in being knocked down by missing their own blocks and failing dodges.
- As the members of the Fasta, Stronga and Betta were decided to be better at making self-inflected knock downs and Mr. Geri the Greedy proceeded to run towards the goal.
- Mr. Geri the Greedy decided to re-open the issue of which association is better at self-inflected knock downs by trying to run too fast and falling down.
- Fasta, Stronga and Betta were re-established as better self-knockdowners by the ogre Kurmak the Nuva who blocked himself down.
- Mr. Geri the Greedy picked up the ball again. After spending some time scanning the stands for the spot in the goal area where there would be most wolf-whistling inducers, he ran the ball for touchdown and presented a lovely wolf-whistle of chest-pounding variety.
- The association officially gratulated Mr. Geri the Greedy and took a defensive formation.
- The attack of the Fasta, Stronga and Betta was stopped in three turns and the association was declared the winner of the weekly meeting's physical activity by the score of 0 to 1 in touchdowns and 0 to 3 in casualties.
- The meeting of the association was closed with a tradional group wolf-whistle.


-----------
RL comments:
Even game with game being decided by hard dice for both teams. The "best" moment in the game were eight 1s that were rolled during ten throws (1 for gfi, 1 for gfi, two 1s for armor roll, 1 for bonehead, 2 for dodge, 2 for bonehead and two 1s for block).  The game was probably decided by the fact that my necros had the speed to recover from these mishaps. Good game from Golden Arrow with a challenging team.

Quote from: The Golden Arrow on November 28, 2011, 07:29:26 PM
Lets play tomorrow at 17 then. It would be nice for me if it didn't get delayed cause I have some things to do later that evening.

Today (Tuesday) at 17 it is then. Sarting promptly at 17 or even a bit earlier is no problem, so I think we should have a delay-free game.

Welcome to the after games lounge for NUL's season 5. Here you can give your match reports, ridicule or praise your opponent, enemies and friends, report your fallen and retired players and just generally talk trash about the game. Just remember the following:

- Remember that even ogres, trolls and other less intellectually-inclined races may get the joke you tell about them. It just may take them couple of weeks, so you could be unpleasantly surprised by an ogre bashing your skull in just when you're singing praises of that nice wench you met earlier.
- Never ever never challenge a dwarf to a beer jugging contest or take up their challenges.
- Don't be too harsh on the vertically challenged folk (like halflings and skinks). Remeber that they're just at the right height to hit you where it hurts the most.
- Nuffle, the Great God of Dices, is watching and may punish those who brag of their skills too much.

Yo Golden Arrow, let me know when your Snabbare, starkare och bättre want to play. Here are my OK starting times (CET) for this week:
- Tuesday (29th) 17-20
- Wednesday 18-22
- Thursday 18-20
- Sunday 10-21

Friday might also be possible if none of those suit you, sir.

Quote from: Luiggi on November 28, 2011, 10:40:55 AM
Well, since the league starts today at 19 CET I guess we can already schedule the matches... I assume that will be done via PM and emails? Or can we do it in a thread in the Season 5 forum?

I added the matches and info about the scheduling system to the Season 5 doard:
norscaleague.com/index.php?topic=314.msg1918