Norsca Union League

Hear ye! Hear ye! The Brotherhood of Ull has finished its investigation regarding the mysterious appearance of a whole case of Bloodweiser Ale... The evidence we have have collected shows the SHOCKING truth! We first started our investigation of suspected witchcraft by usual methods: By observing which direction a pig runs of to while spanked on the left side of the behind, and comparing this to the angle which the snails crawls compared to ground in the area, we found that the presence of the Evil Black Magic of Whiskers was very plausible.
Further more: We have eyewitness report of a 50 feet long flying sausage with cans of Bloodweiser Ale tied to it, that supposedly made a quick stop at the Valhalla Stadium. We then made a search of the arena... In the dressing room that "Aakan Pirut" uses, in the locker belonging to Spikes Norman, we found THIS....



This is CLEARLY a cuddly and Most Evil Idol, that can ONLY mean that the player Spikes Norman is indeed a follower of Whisker and a practitioner of its Most Evil Magic! We at the Brotherhood of Ull DEMANDS that Spikes Norman is sacked from his team and handed over to us, so that justice may be brought by capital punishment!

So... Your team loses match after match... Those sponsorship contract seems light years away and you never seem to earn any more precious cows... Don't worry! We all now that winning games doesn't mean everything, the only thing that really matters is...



Hats! T-shirts! Cups! Bags! Jackets! Socks! Shoes! Towels! Glasses! Goggles! Toys! Plates! Toothbrushes! Toilet bowl cleaners! Fishing rods! Life jackets! Condoms!
Anything you produce that you stick your team name on will be bought by your stupid fans!

Market analysis show that the Blood Bowl fans of Cowpenhaven has as much as 25 x just waiting to be spent on some stupid piece of crap! So, what are you waiting for! Get those cheap produce out on the market right now!









Note: This is how it works. Post a picture that shows your teams product. As soon as there are 5 products in this thread, there will be a vote: Everyone that has posted a pic here will have 3 votes that they can place on each other (not on your self!). The outcome of the vote reflects your products success on the market. Remember: Expectations are low. You don't need to be an Photoshop master. Posting a random pic you found on google and write a text, posing it as a product, will do just fine!

Brother Pisstopher! Hello! HellooOOO!


_________________________________________________


Oh! Hi Zei... I mean *clears my throat* Hail lord Psychomullet, son of lord Psychomoustache, son of lord Psychosideburns, Jarl of Cowpenhaven and Hurtsey. What brings us the honour of your visit?
_________________________________________________


The coach of Aakan Pirut just told me he found a case of Magical Ale when they had their resent match. I don't miss any Ale, so the brew must have come from here. Have you sold any brew to them? if not, there must be some sort of theft.

_________________________________________________


WHAT! Now we haven't sold any brew for a long time... And... Theft! My Lordship knows that we guard the brew with our life, it would be impossible to keep the redness of our beards with out it! It's the core of our belief! .... There must be some other explanation...

_________________________________________________


Brother Pisstopher... Are you thinking what I'm thinking....

__________________________________________________




__________________________________________________


This is very serious... You must start an investigation at once...

NUMBER OF PLAYERS BURIED HERE:



NUMBER OF ZOMBIES LURKING AROUND:

Hey! Brother Pisstopher! ... Brother Pisstopher! ... Come on! ... The new batch is ready, man! Come on down to the basement and we'll try it out, it's partytime, man, yeeeeeehAw!

Well hellooOOO! Your in the Monastery of Ull! Here the zealous monks live according to the laws of Ull, God of Strengh, God of Winter, God of Facial hair. The Monastery of Ull is, next to the Jarl of course, the most powerful institution in town: As regular plebs can't read and write, this is the towns centre of knowledge and no political decisions are made without consulting the monks first!

Well it's Psychohall, dummy! This is the home of Jarl Zieghart Psychomullet, the beloved ruler of Cowpenhaven and also a major Blood Bowl fan!
Whenever you are short of cash you can always ask Zieghart, he's the wealthiest man in the town and known to be generous too! Zieghart Psychomullet is known to be well connected to the Gods, if you ever suspect that an opponent of yours is using the Black Magic Of The Incredible Evil Whiskers, then you shuold try to get an audience here as well.

Knockia Communications is a upcoming star among the companies of Cowpenhaven! It started as small postal service in dark woodlands in eastern Norsca, but today, it's a global empire with offices in many corners of the world! How could that be? They invented a revolutionary new communication service called SMS (Snotling Message Services). The idea is basically that you send short messages by a snotling. And since a snotling is nimble, reasonably fast and more importantly, cheap to maintain, Knockia Communications has revolutionised communication in the modern world! The only drawback is that the snotling can only carry short messages (it doesn't support rune stones, obelisks and such. They're too heavy). Nevertheless, Knockia communications is a company with increasing importance for the peaople of Cowpenhaven.


President of Knockia Communications is currently a snail called Spiffy... No, I am not kidding. Former president, Artoo Dertoo, was tragically killed by it's own chairman: The hungry troll Nosedrop had a fight with Artoo over a sandwich at the buffet that was served during the international Communication-Industry convention, resulting in Artoo getting his head crushed. With Artoo dead, chairman Nosedrop suggested Spiffy as new president (he found him in the forest and he thought he was cute). And as the members of the board was intimidated by Nosedrop's behaviour, they all agreed with him.

-----------


Knockia Communications is currently running some where interesting campaigns, how about getting a subscription with...

Knockia Gold: Free SMS over the entire world for an entire season for only 3 X

or you could go with my personal favourite, the...

Knockia Platinum: Free SMS over the entire world for a lifetime for only 10 X

-------------

Knockia Communications is also a proud sponsor of sports: It's main interest lies in the Snotball team Ham United, but Knockia has started to gain interest in Blood Bowl as well: Anything that goes through the air goes!

Knockia is currently sponsoring BOSSES BOLLKESTER with a contract worth 10 X
This contract will expire after season 1

If you like to buy a subscription for Knockia's services, or like to gain a sponsorship contract, post your application here.

The Company of Warla Foods is indeed the single most important industry in the town of Cowpenhaven, employing nearly 30% of the population. It specializes in more or less all of the products you can think of that relates to cattle. Warla Foods is however surprisingly new as a Company: It was founded about 25 years ago but has since then sky-rocketed. One of Warla's most famous and sold product is Minatour Milk. Minatour Milk is a bit different from ordinary cows milk: A regular cow has four teats where the milk comes from but the Minotaur only has one. You also have to yank the single teat for quite some time before anything comes out, but when it does, you find a thick, funny looking substance with a peculiar smell, rich in proteins. Minotaur Milk is a bit more expensive than regular milk, but still a well demanded produce in the town of Cowpenhaven.


Warla Foods is currently runned by the giant hafling Fede Tuborgh and he has done so for 5 years. No one really knows how he got the office, but rumour speak of some sort of wager...

Warla Foods is a major sponsor for unemployed culture workers around Cowpenhaven and Warla has the largest marketing budget in Cowpenhaven. Warla also sponsor sports: They do however, tend to sponsor whoever that is doing well, rather than whom ever bears the spirit of the sport.

Warla is currently sponsoring PHYSICX with a contract worth 10 X
This contract expires after season 1.

If you want a sponsorship from Warla Foods, you may post your application here.

The Absolut Chaos Distillery is one of the prime industries in Cowpenhaven, delivering it's oozing beverage to the local community for over 50 years. The company is very active around the time of the Cowpenhaven Cow Market since its refreshing indulgence is well known amongst the farmers who comes for the cow market. The complete recipe is a well kept secret that has been inherited through the Hellsin family for centuries, but it's a well known fact that the liqueur grants its special bouquet by being tripple distilled through a filter that consists of the dust of grinded warpstone: Thus, guaranteeing the violent drunken dissorder that the liqueur is so famous for.


Today, the company is owned and runned by Barris Hellsin who inherited the business 35 years ago. He's known to have honoured the company's long tradition by personaly testing each batch of booze that leaves the factory, but also bringing the Absolut Chaos Distilleries to the modern age with some innovative, aggressive, marketing strategies.

The Absolut Chaos Destilleries is a proud promoter of Blood Sports and is very eager to find ultra violent players to stick their company logo on.

The Absolut Chaos Distilleries is currently sponsoring KIEL VIKINGS with a contract worth 8 X
This contract will expire after season 1


If you wish to get a sponsorship by Absolut Chaos you may apply for it here!