Norsca Union League

Quote from: ToFex80 on May 23, 2011, 09:53:00 PM
hi j-reedy,

i´m online almost every evening... you just tell me when you´re ready for a "cat-fight"! ;)

Hi ToFex80!

Today (Tuesday) or Wednesday would be the best days for me. I'll be online from 19.00 Finnish time (+1 to Swedish), so anything from that to midnight is OK for me. So how about today?

TWO AMAZONS DIE - NO-ONE BURIED
It's a public secret that Nurgle teams are dirty - both literally and by their playing style. This was once again proved today in an exciting Blood Bowl match between nurglean Syphilitic Dribblers and amazonian Cougar Kittens. Clean and groomed Kittens we're so disgusted by the smell and personal hygiene - or rather lack of thereof - of the Syphilitic players that they refused to play the close contact game the Kittens are known for. Dribblers on the other hand were very eager to get their hands and horns on and into the fresh Kitten flesh.
The game opened with the amazonians receiving the ball. Kick to the middle left half of the field was picked up by Kitten receiver Lana Kreuk, twin sister of Kristin Lang who scored a touchdown in the Kittens' last match against dwarfen Bloodstone Maniax. There was however no sign of any sibling rivalry between Lana and Kristen. In a matter of fact, Kristin Lang was the key player in protecting her sister's amazing run that ended in a touchdown late in the first half. As stated, Lana Kreuk started from the left half of field. From there she sprinted horizontally to the right side of the field protected by loose amazonian cage led by Kristin Lang. When she got to the right edge she started a quick sprint for the endzone. At this point she was protected only by three other amazonians, one of whom was her twin-sister. Rest of the team were trying to keep their nurglean opponents occupied and away from the ball. This plan of attack was so succesful that when Lana Kreuk got to the goal line, she had time to change direction and run horizontally across the goal line to the left edge of the field. This ingenious play by the young catcher took so many minutes out the game clock that Syphilitic Dribblers had no chance to even the score when they received the ball after the touchdown.
After first half the score was 1-0 for Kittens and casualties were even at 1 a piece. One of these statistics was to change drastically at the second half. Second half started with Syphilitic Dribblers receiving the ball. Booming kick by the Kittens ended up hugging the right edge of the nurglean side far from the center line. Unfortunately for Dribblers the prestigor that was sent to pick up the ball tried just bit too hard and ended up slipping on the grass just after picking up the ball. Kittens lost no time in taking advantage of this mishap. Three-woman amazonian blitzing team led by blocker Teri Susan had already started a blitz towards the ball at the excact moment the ball was kicked off. They darted for the ball while other Kittens formed a protecting blankett around most of the nurglean players occupying the area around the center line. Dribblers' heroic multiarmed prestigor Pandemicus the Beast almost saved the day by takind down one of the advancing Kittens, picking up the ball and flinging it to safety of the mass of Dribblers at the center. Unfortunately for Pandemicus he wasn't the only player on the field capable of heroics. According to eye-witness statements from the spectators Teri Susan of the Kittens jumped six feet high, summersaulted, blew kisses to the crowd and added some lipstick while flying through the air to intercept the ball thrown by Pandemicus. Game was turned and fast. Teri Susan sprinted towards the goal while other members of her blitzing team swarmed the Prestigors closest to her. After that nobody touched the heroic blitzer and after playing the clock down by taking the ball to opposite corner of the Dribblers' endzone Teri Susan scored Kittens' second TD of the match. Joy of the Kittens was overshadowed by the fact that their team-mate Jennifer, while protecting Teri Susan's run for endzone, suffered a booming block from prestigor Bubanicus that left her lying on the field lifeless. Fortunately for Kittens there would be no burials today, as Kittens resident apotecharian Hugh House managed to pull unfortunate amazonian linewoman back from the gates of heaven.
Dribblers had nearly half of the second half left to score. High kick from the Kittens left the ball in the hands of the Bubanicus the prestigor. All seemed to go by the way of Syphilitic Dribblers as another amazonian linewoman was left dead on the field by the front edge of Dribblers' cage that was forming into Kittens half of the field. Luckily Kittens team manager had anticipated the game to be dirty and tough and had therefore freebooted the services of apotecharian Ceorge Ross who managed the safe the unfortunate Cougar's hide. Luck of the Kittens continued when Dribblers decided to play the ball by passing. This decision led to a chaotic end of second half that saw two failed passing attempts by both teams and no real chances to score. Therefore the game ended with Kittens winning the touchdowns 2-0 but Dribblers scoring spectacular 2 near-deaths. On a side-note, there had been speculation before the match if the spectators of the match would influence the end result of this game even more than is usual. This speculation may have arisen due to fact that Cougar Kittens visited nearby college of wizardry before the game. After this visit rumours surfaced that some of the Kittens had stayed rather late at the dormatory of certain mr. Putter, an advanced student of wizardry who earlier this year won some ill fame by scorching a pair mummies with a fireball in a match between undead Mummy's Little Helpers and amazonian Slats. This speculation proved wrong, no fireballs were launched at the match. But another cause for speculation may be the strange fact that Mr. Putter, who actually did attend the match, was attacked by unknown group of thugs and beaten severely when he was leaving the stands. Unofficial eye-witness reports state that the attackers may have been women dressed up in rather authentic looking blood bowl gear.

Quote from: mooonuel on May 16, 2011, 11:46:48 PM
Hiya j-Reedy
tues before 21:00 gmt
weds&thurs after 20:00
sun any time after 20:00 gmt
Mooonuel

OK, how about today, Tuesday at 18:00 gmt? An hour or two later or earlier would also be OK for me.

Hi Mooonuel

I could play this week starting at following times, all times GMT+3:
Mon - 20-24
Thu - 22-23
Fri - 17-24
Sat - 6-13
Sun - 8-21

Let me know what suites you. Either Tuesday or Wednesday is also OK, but I'm not sure yet which day I'll be free.
Today (Monday) I'll be away from computer till about 19.00, but I'll check this forum when I get back in case you want to play today.

Quote from: Kezerk on May 10, 2011, 07:55:18 PM
And so it was. Amazons won, 2-0.

- Kez.

That's the summary, here's the long version:

It is a public secret that amazons have a crush on short, stubby and bearded men. This was proved once again in the match between the amazonian Cougar Kittens and dwarfish Bloodstone Maniax. Almost every time a dwarf on the Maniax team tried to hit on a Kitten girl, the girls got down on their backs (or in case of some kinkier girls, on their bellies) faster than a troll forgets what he was supposed to do. Fortunately for Kittens the dwarfs were so amazed on their success that they didn't know how to handle these easy trollops, only one Kittens suffered a more serious injury that'll prevent her from taking part in the next match. The reason for dwarfs' indecisiveness could've been result of them losing their leader for the match on the very first play when the amazons showed their affection for the bearded brawlers by taking down the whole front line of the Maniaxes. After heavy tussle on the half-court left the Kittens seriously underwomaned against the Maniaxs,  the Kittens were forced to score their first TD at the middle the first half. Fortunately Bloodweiser beer provided enough of the boost for the Kittens that they managed to field a full team against the Maniaxs' first half drive. Also, a sudden rain storm that started at the exact moment of the kick-off played in Kittens favour and they were able to stop the dwarfes from scoring by forming a tight line at the half-court and surviving a mid-court wrestle match with the little men.
Second half started with 10 amazonians lining up against 10 dwarfs and sun coming out after the heavy rain storm. Sun and surprising success with the girls seemed to animate the dwarfs: soon after the dwarfs had retrieved the ball far behind their front line the Kittens found themselves underwomaned 8 to 10. Fortunately for Kittens, the dwarfs were so eager to try out their punch lines on the amazons that they left their ball-carrier, who was advancing towards the half-court at leisurely pace (some might claim that he was running as fast as his short legs would carry him), unprotected. One of the Kittens linewomen who had fallen on the turf in the dwarfish onslaught managed to get up, scramble towards the ball-carrier and push him back further into the dwarfen back-field. At the same time remaining Kittens succeeded in tying up rest of the dwarfs so that the ball-carrier could get no help from his team mates. Also some of the Kittens had managed to strengthen their resolve and the end results of some subsequent hit attempts by the dwarfs were two dwarfs lying on the field stunned. This provided enough room for the Kittens to gang up on the dwarfish ball-carrier and bring him down. Maniaxes fate was sealed when one of the dwarf linemen decided to go elfish and try to dodge out of his in-field relationship with one of the Kittens. Poor bastard should've known that when a cougar gets you in her claws, there's no way out but the hard way. Dwarf bashing ensued and pretty soon the crowd and Maniaxes got another chance to enjoy the celebratory dance moves of Kitten receiver Kristen Lang (debate on whether it was Kristen or her twin sister Lana Kreuk who scored the Kittens second TD is still undecided as the match tape is not yet available for review).

And to decipher the long version:
- Maniax lost their Leader player to Badly hurt on first turn, leaving them with only 1 reroll.
- Kittens caged the ball, got the ball to scoring distance and were forced to score early because of losing too many players to KO.
- Kick-off resulted in heavy rain, Kittens managed to get the ball away from Maniaxes at mid-court and keep enough players around the ball so that Maniaxes couldn't pick it up.
- Second half, the ball landed far back the Maniaxes end-zone. Gap between the Maniax ball-carrier and front line got too deep at one point and a Kitten knocked down behind the dwarf line managed to blitz the ball-carrier (dodge, go-for-it x 2 and one die block) and push him back for two turns.
- Maniax double-skulls gave the Kittens an edge at the block battle and a the first two-die blitz on the ball-carrier succeeded.
- Maniax player tried to dodge away from mid-court tusle to give support for a blitz for the ball. Fail. Kittens pick up the ball, play time and score.

Oh joy! Dwarfs really are the dream matchup for every starting amazon team, I'm almost guaranteed to get a giant boost into TV difference for my next match!

Ok Kezerk, when do your violent maniacs want to beat my innocent kittens into a bloody pulp? I should be be free all evenings this week. Saturday and Sunday may be difficult to arrange.

Quote from: J-Reedy on April 27, 2011, 05:37:48 PM
Signing on to season 3 as a newbie (to this league that is) and with a new team, probably Amazons. I'm willing and able to play as many matches as there are available, so I'm going for either option B or C in that order of preference.

Confirming the team as amazonian Cougar Kittens:

"Before cougars become the dangerous man-eaters they are known to be they are cuddly and cute kittens. The agile cougar kittens should however not be considered neither helpless nor harmless, one cougar kitten can tear a full-grown man to parts in a second - both physically and mentally. Packs of cougar kittens are especially dangerous. Several cases have been reported where a pack of kittens has rendered a whole team of blood bowlers incapacited."

Signing on to season 3 as a newbie (to this league that is) and with a new team, probably Amazons. I'm willing and able to play as many matches as there are available, so I'm going for either option B or C in that order of preference.

Read, understood and agreed upon.

Here's another Finn willing to join the league. Looks like the second season is already almost finished but I guess I could start with the Little Null to gear up for third season?

I go by the same name (J-Reedy) in the game. I'll be probably playing Amazons, if there aren't too many teams of lovely ladies already playing in the league, I haven't yet checked the racial spread of the league.