Author Topic: *** Knockia Communications ***  (Read 4740 times)

Offline NUL

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*** Knockia Communications ***
« on: January 18, 2011, 08:22:57 PM »

Welcome to Knockia Communications! We connect you to anyone anywhere. Full contact!

Knockia Communications is a upcoming star among the companies of Cowpenhaven! It started as small postal service in dark woodlands in eastern Norsca, but today, it's a global empire with offices in many corners of the world! How could that be? They invented a revolutionary new communication service called SMS (Snotling Message Services). The idea is basically that you send short messages by a snotling. And since a snotling is nimble, reasonably fast and more importantly, cheap to maintain, Knockia Communications has revolutionised communication in the modern world! The only drawback is that the snotling can only carry short messages (it doesn't support rune stones, obelisks and such. They're too heavy). Nevertheless, Knockia communications is a company with increasing importance for the peaople of Cowpenhaven.


President of Knockia Communications is currently a snail called Spiffy... No, I am not kidding. Former president, Artoo Dertoo, was tragically killed by it's own chairman: The hungry troll Nosedrop had a fight with Artoo over a sandwich at the buffet that was served during the international Communication-Industry convention, resulting in Artoo getting his head crushed. With Artoo dead, chairman Nosedrop suggested Spiffy as new president (he found him in the forest and he thought he was cute). And as the members of the board was intimidated by Nosedrop's behaviour, they all agreed with him.

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*** CURRENT CAMPAIGNS ***

Knockia Communications is currently running some where interesting campaigns, how about getting a subscription with...

Knockia Gold: Free SMS over the entire world for an entire season for only 3 X

or you could go with my personal favourite, the...

Knockia Platinum: Free SMS over the entire world for a lifetime for only 10 X

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Knockia Communications is also a proud sponsor of sports: It's main interest lies in the Snotball team Ham United, but Knockia has started to gain interest in Blood Bowl as well: Anything that goes through the air goes!

Knockia is currently sponsoring BOSSES BOLLKESTER with a contract worth 10 X
This contract will expire after season 1

If you like to buy a subscription for Knockia's services, or like to gain a sponsorship contract, post your application here.

Offline bodyschlompf

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2011, 07:56:50 PM »
Well, as coach of "Bosses Bollkester" I am of course interested in renewing this contract for season 2! We at "Bosses Bollkester" are very proud to be supported by Knockia!

Personally, I'm interested in getting an subscription from you as well, but my leader thrower "Bosse" is afraid that if we sign up his mother would send him SMS:es all the time. So, until I can convince "Bosse", I'll have to wait for this.

Offline johoohno

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2011, 08:14:34 PM »
Ohhhh! *or other awe-sounding snort* We've never been this close to a world spread company before.

Is it possible one might be allowed to make an eeny meeny call to one of the true legends in Blood Bowl: Grashnak Blackhoof or Borak the Despoiler? We really can't afford a subscription at the moment, but perhaps one call might be possible nevertheless? Since we're half way through the season one cow might be enough for the time left (or for two calls during the season)?

We approach this company since "Smearixen" and "Three men" haven't got nearly as good sevices as this highly esteemed company.


Pretty pretty please with rot on top!?

Offline NUL

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2011, 09:45:20 PM »
Ohhhh! *or other awe-sounding snort* We've never been this close to a world spread company before.

Is it possible one might be allowed to make an eeny meeny call to one of the true legends in Blood Bowl: Grashnak Blackhoof or Borak the Despoiler? We really can't afford a subscription at the moment, but perhaps one call might be possible nevertheless? Since we're half way through the season one cow might be enough for the time left (or for two calls during the season)?

We approach this company since "Smearixen" and "Three men" haven't got nearly as good sevices as this highly esteemed company.


Pretty pretty please with rot on top!?

Hello! I'm the secretary for Spiffy, and I will speaking on his behalf... Cause he can talk... You know... Cause... He's a snail... Anyways, we cannot reduce our tariffs, even tough we are very please that you prefer us over our evil competitors "Searixen" and Three Men"! BUT!..
We DO belie that you are credit worthy! So we can give you a Knockia Gold or Knockia Platinum, you buy now, you pay when you can. Sounds good?

Offline johoohno

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2011, 10:16:09 AM »
Beautiful. If you find us credit worthy we Woolf love the platinum deal as long as we can pay whenever we can afford it, preferably never stranding us with less than two cows. To show our Hood intention we'll pay one cow right away.

And if we get this deal we'll text Lord Borak right away.

Offline NUL

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2011, 04:26:43 PM »
Beautiful. If you find us credit worthy we Woolf love the platinum deal as long as we can pay whenever we can afford it, preferably never stranding us with less than two cows. To show our Hood intention we'll pay one cow right away.

And if we get this deal we'll text Lord Borak right away.

Splendid! You got you self a deal! Since you now owe us some substantial amount of money, don't forget to speak well of us!

Offline johoohno

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2011, 06:03:45 PM »
Beautiful. If you find us credit worthy we Woolf love the platinum deal as long as we can pay whenever we can afford it, preferably never stranding us with less than two cows. To show our Hood intention we'll pay one cow right away.

And if we get this deal we'll text Lord Borak right away.

Splendid! You got you self a deal! Since you now owe us some substantial amount of money, don't forget to speak well of us!

Fabulous! Now if I could just get a text message through to Lord Borak it would be brilliant!

Offline NUL

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2011, 09:22:54 PM »
A smart looking man enters with a taped on grin that makes him look like a madman on crack:

- We have this little deal to all our bussiness partners, a free ap for your letter writing kit that includes the numbers to the agents of all the major star players. We at KNOCKIA are very proud to announce this new piece of technology and we're glad that you've taken an interest in this.

- You are writing this all down aren't you... I hope to see this on page one of borghafen's news tomorrow, that's not to much to ask from a friend is it?

After he's finished talking he stands still beaming at you and focusing his gaze on an area that would have contained your head if you had been one foot shorter and stood two feet to the left.

Offline Elake

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Re: *** Knockia Communications ***
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2011, 04:50:08 PM »
I want Apple iBlitz instead!