S17 - Match Day 2

[Luiggi]

Well, I guess I was wrong. It's gotta be Sunday at 19.00. See you then!

[equilibri]

Well, I guess I was wrong. It's gotta be Sunday at 19.00. See you then!

Ok! Then we play on sunday! See u on the field!

[J-Reedy]

Day is sunny and the goblin ship is rocking gently, not from the force of the sea but the rhytmical stomping of the spectators who've gathered to witness the Blood Bowl match between the goblin home side Old World Pirates and their northern visitors Fantasy Armor Inc. Seagulls are circling the arena, hoping to snatch condiments from those spectators while some spectators are hoping for some seagull droppings to land on their hot rat buns just to so that it could cover the smell of this tradional delicacy.
Suddenly the crowd goes silent. Goblin kicker DeGhoulash is aiming for the ball, crowd is looking for the kickoff with rising anticipation, waiting to erupt the moment DeGhoulash's foot strikes the pig-skin. Suddenly, the troll Blackbeard springs to action, tired of waiting for the kick, and grabs DeGhoulash's feet and taking a giant backswing, swings DeGhoulash like a basherball bat, hitting the ball square on center with the giant "BONG". Nobody is sure if the bong comes from DeGhoulash's skull or the ball, but nobody cares: crowd jumps on their feet and starts yelling, chanting, mocking opposing fans and cheering for the giant ogre who has grown tired of the tasteless rat buns and is now chomping down nearby goblin fans. Norse front line springs into action and downs two trolls and goblins, but nobody is hurt as these goblins are expert seafairers which in goblin world means that they have learned to fall safely from the ship's mast onto the deck. Ball flies deep into the norse side and even the norse kickoff return specialist Kal Utan can't reach it.

Kal Utan snaps up the ball from the deck and springs forward. At the same time, the goblin bombardier Captain Hook decides to let his bomb fly! The smoking sphere is flying towards the norse line but Wristrengthy Guard is on guard and bats the bomb back to Hook. The bombardier's mouth drops as he sees the bomb coming towards him and the small arms raise and try for a desperate grab. Bomb sails through the Hook's fingers but fortunately for the goblin, the bomb hits the him smack in middle of his forehead and drops onto his hands. Puzzled Hook glances at his hands and seeing the burning wick, quickly tosses the bomb back to Wristrenghty. The norse lineman isn't puzzled but picks up the bomb with grace and hurls it back towards the goblins, this time aiming slightly more away from the bombardier. Captain Hook jumps up and it looks like he's about to get intercept the bomb but right at that moment the norse yhetee Finnjävel lets out a giant fart! The smell snakes through the field as fast as a thought and reaches the sinuses of Hook just as he is about to close his hands on the bomb. Poor bombardiers mind explodes as it registers the stench, not even a childhood on a pig farm surrounded by glue, paper and Mama's Delicacy Rat Pie factories has prepared his senses for this foul sensation. Hook's eyes widen and his brains signal to close up the nostrils which causes to small goblin to spasm as all his muscles tighten up. The bomb flies through his twisting fingers and lands between his team-mates Hagis McMutton and Charles DeGhoulash. Two goblins hear the thud from their feet and glance down. As the goblin duo raises their head, their eyes meet and both of them see from the eyes of the other one, what needs to be done. McMutton is the faster one of the goblins, so he manages to give DeGhoulash a bumb that causes the goblin to fall on the bomb. As the smoke clears, McMutton finds himself lying on the field but after some patting, he finds himself unharmed. The goblin grins happily and he's grin gets even wider when he sees the ushers carrying badly mangled DeGhoulash into the injury box.

Meanwhile, Kal Utan is progressing towards the goal, and all around him goblins, trolls and norse are struggling. The troll Captain Blackeard is the first one to cause serious hurt as he smashes his fist into norse star blitzer Frazzy Etta's head, the blitzer falls down limp and he's carried off badly hurt. The norse respond by downing numerous goblins but these are true seafearing goblins, little buggers seem to bounce off the planks unhurt. Captain Hook let's another bomb fly but this time it Abby Enchancer who swats the bomb away. Bomb hits the field near some goblins but explodes harmerlessly after taking couple of bounces. Kal Utan sees that Abby Enhancer is standing well protected smack in center of the field, so he let's the ball fly! As Abby Enhancer sees the ball coming towards him, he gets flashback to the bomb he swatted away seconds earlier and so it is only natural that he does what he does, swatting the ball high up the air. He snaps into reality as the norse coach let's out a giant roar of anger and realizing his mistake, he jumps towards the ball and manages to catch it before it hits the field. As he turns towards the goblin goal line, he spies from the corner of his eye that the norse fanatic Captain Dread has started swinging the ball and chain and is now hoppling uncontrollably on the field. Giggling wildly Dread smashes into Wavylocke Helm Deluxe and the norse werewolf Coldwell who are guarding the troll Blackeard. Chain hits Wavylocke's feet from behind and the lineman is stunned as back of his head strikes the planks. Coldwell gets the business end of the fanatic's heavy weapon as the spiked ball finds a pair of smaller balls. Coldwell let's out a whimpering howl and drops onto the deck. The ushers shutter from sympathy as they carry the badly hurt werewolf off the field.

Norse are suddenly seriously undermanned, so Abby Enchacer springs to action! He runs toward the corner with three of his fellow norsemen following and straightarming any goblins trying to get into way. It almost looks like the linenorse has a free route to the goal line but suddenly knocked down goblins start getting up, dodge away from the leather-clad bearded norsemen guarding them and swarm Abby Enhancer! Captain Hook, the brave bombardier is the fastest of the goblins and manages to block the running route. Unfortunately for him, Abby Enhancer has gathered up momentum and he won't be stopped, Enhancer smashes into Hook, who flies backwards. The goblin lands on his behind and is unhurt but he doesn't have time to get up and he can only watch as Enhancer dodges away from another goblin and sprints to the goal. Touchdown!

First half is about to end but the goblins still have more than enough time for a score. Two trolls line up on the center, away from the norse defenders. The kick is deep but McMutton is standing almost under the ball, so the goblin turns his head upwars in anticipation as the ball is sailing towards him. It's coming closer, closer - he can almost see the seams... CRACK! McMutton falls to the deck. The giant ogre who had dined on fellow spectators earlier had finally managed to get loose that annoying thing that had bothered him between his teeth throughout the first half. The grey bit of metal helmet crushed into a ball seemed like a pebble on the hands of the ogre as he tossed it away but for poor McMutton it proved to be projectile big enough to knock him out.

Goblins aren't dazed from the disappearance of their fellow greenskin. Captain Greenskin pogoes to the ball, picks it up and starts jumping towards the front line where the norse defenders have been either pushed back or knocked down. The norse know what is coming, so two closest linemen swarm the trolls. The linemen are trying to hold the trolls at bay and prevent them from picking up fellow goblins. Nipple Guard Deluxe is so concentrated on struggling with Blackbeard that he doesn't notice that Bootstrap Bill is climbing on the shoulders of his team-mate. BANG! Nipple Guard Deluxe goes down from the hit to the head and Captain Blackbeard is free! Greenskin pogoes to the scene and slams the ball to Guybrush Threepwood. Guybrush's eyes go wide as he sees the ball in his hand and he tries to sprint away. The little goblin feet are going as fast as they can but the goblin isn't moving anywhere but upwards as Blackbeard graps the little guy from his collar. Guybrush starts praying and as he is going up, he feels a moment of hesitation in the upwards movement as Blackbeard's stomach lets out a small growl... But the signal from the troll's stomach to it's brains is too slow and Guybrush sighs in relief as he is hoisted high down, hurled backwards and then tossed forwards. Guybrush can see the norse players beneath him as he starts to fall down. Blackbeard's throw is excellent, the goblin falls down between two norse players and there's nobody between him and the goal. Guybrush nails the landing, springing into his feet after a controlled tumble and then he let's his feet loose. TOUCHDOWN! Crowd erupts and the game is tied!

Second half is about to start and the crowd is eying the skies nervously. Dark clouds have gathered over the goblin ship. The moment that Abby Enhancer's foot touches the ball, the skies open and a steady shower of rain starts pouring down. Spectators groan and pucker up - those who came prepared open up their umbrellas. The hungry ogre isn't one of the prepared ones, so he decides to grab a halfling with an umbrella. Small halfling makes fine extension for the umbrella's handle so that umbrella manages to extend over the ogre's head.

As the ball is in the air, Captain Dread the fanatic starts to swing at the front line. After two steps backwards and two sideways he finally manages to land a blow on Protectacrotzh Deluxe's collar bone. Protectacrotzh's shoulder slumps as the bone is shattered and the linenorse is ushered off the field. Rest of the norse front line falls down also, stunned from a chainsaw blow and a troll-swat. Goblins seem to be getting a dominating start! Then Captain Hook decides to act. The bombardier giggles wildly as he lights the fuse on one of his bombs. He can already see the norse flying through the air from the force of his little explosive toys. Suddenly Hook realizes that the fuse is getting shorter quickly, so he moves his arm backward, ready for the throw. Unfortunately, Hook doesn't account that the rain is making his precious bombs slippery so, as his hand moves backward, the bomb slides of from his palm and lands behind him. In middle of the forward throwing motion Hook glances at his hand and sees it empty. "Oh Dear" is only thing he manages to utter before the bomb explodes. Hook is knocked down but he is unhurt, being a true seafairing goblin. Same can't be said for Captain BlackBart who is rocked forward from the force of the blast. The wiley goblin was holding his chainsaw close to his body to protect it from the rain and as he hits the ground, both the chainsaw and BlackBart let out a scream - one following the other. McMutton, back on the field, waves to his chainsaw wealding team-mate as he is carried of the field. Then sure-hander McMutton picks up the slippery ball and starts running toward the centre, aiming for the protective care of the troll captains. Blackbeard is doing his best to provide safe cover for McMutton by knocking out one of the norse runner. Everything seems to going smooth for the goblins, they already have two of the norse off the field while they are only missing their chainsawing mate.

Finnjävel is getting angry. He doesn't like how the coach had yelled at him during halftime. And why? Just because Finnjävel had spotted that nice vixen of a female-yhetee in the stands and let out a few of his wildy animalistic growls once. Or maybe it was twice. Well, could've been three or four, Finnjävel isn't so good at remembering stuff. And now it's raining, and Finnjävel knows the water will knot up his fur. And now the coach is yelling at him again, telling him to do something, what is it? Something about Morgan? Finnjävel looks at the giant troll who is holding away his fellow team-mates nearby. Then he sees Morgan wink at the crowd. Finnjävel's gaze sprints to the stands, following the wink. It's the vixen yhetee.

Captain Morgan chuckles, it's that funny feeling again that makes him tickle. The troll captain can't remember what it is. He tries to remember but thinking is hard. Last thing he remembers is seeing that good-looking furry trollette in the stands. It's dark. Why is it? Mysterious. Just like those hard grayish things near his cave that just lie around and are hard to break, very mysterious they are. Morgan feels his face with his hand. Oh, his eyes are closed. Maybe that's why it's dark. He decides to open up one of them to see if it helps. It's the man-thing that keeps telling him to hit things! Morgan can't understand why is he on the deck, he usually stands on the side. Now it tickles again. Morgan glances downwards where it's tickling and sees that his belly and chest seem more flatter than usual and they are tingling. The man-thing is talking. Something about finny navel going crazy and bones broken but regret and naration working. Captain Morgan is puzzled.

With Morgan out, the norse have gotten upper hand. Captain Dread is doing his best, flailing around wildly with his ball and chain but the norse are only getting stunned and the ball-carrying McMutton is feeling pressure. So the goblin decides to move from right to left flank. His team-mates follow, dodging out and everything seems safe for a moment. But then the norse come at them again. Blackbeard the troll goes down and McMutton feels exposed, so he decides to run it deeper to norse side. He's feeling exposed as only of his goblin mates is running along so he yells for Sid to follow them. Sid hears him and starts to run towards them. Then McMutton sees something he doesn't want to see. Sid steps on a norse lineman's foot and falls down. McMutton watches in horror as Sid bounces of the planks and then he sees the foot that Sid slipped on turn towards him. McMutton's eyes dart upward, it's the norse lineman that scored the touchdown and he is coming towards him fast. Real fast. BLAM! McMutton is lifted up and he feels the ball slip loose. He falls down and all around him his team-mates are doing the same. Captain Greenskin falls down all the way up from his pogo-stick and hits the deck head frist. There's a nasty crack as the small goblin skull is fractured. Kal Utan sprints to pick up the ball, but even the sure-handed norse thrower has hard time picking up the ball in this pouring rain, and the ball just bounces away.

Both goblins and norse swarm around the ball, both sides trying to pick it up but the ball proves too slippery for Cabin Boy Marty and then for Wavylocke Helm. Clock is running down so two norse break out towards the goblin side to wait for a pass in case somebody gets up the ball up. Finally Kal Utan does just that, hauling in the wet ball and running to the cage that he's team-mates have formed for him. Now it's just a run towards the center line, pass to the Roy Oh and then nothing but the goal. Kal Utan can already see how he's arm will swing backwards and then come back forwards with power and grace and how the ball will leave...
...the bomb leaves Captain Hook hand and the bombardier can see it sailing towards the two norse in the scoring distance. Giggling wildly Hook realizes that the throw is perfect. The bomb hits the ground between the norse and BOOM! Kal Utan watches in horror as both Steeltoe Boots and Luis Roy Oh fly away from the blast and fall to the ground limp, the Roy Oh stunned and Boots knocked out. The referee is already eying the clock, there's no time to run the ball. It's a tie!

------
This was a very-very goblin-like game with crazy things happening. I had trouble breaking the gobbo armor in the first half so the gobbos dominated the injury game against me second time in a row. I had to score early because so Gnaar-man had two turns to setup a goblin-toss which worked perfectly. At the start of the second half it seemed that gobbos would continue with the injury domination but then I got the ST6 troll out and injuries started working for me. I got the ball out around half-point of the half but then it took three turns to get get the ball up as there was pouring rain and my guys were feeling snake-eyed. So when the ball got picked up, only two of my guys were on scoring distance and then Gnaarkill's bombardier took down both of them, so that was the end of it. Very good game from Gnaarkill, he played good defence on the first half forcing me to score one turn too early, and changed running directions nicely during his own attack. Thanks again for the nice game, Gnaarkill!

[Luiggi]

Go go go gobbos! I'll have to watch that game because it sounds like it was great entertainment for the neutral spectator.

Great match report as well, J.

[Mr B]

Superb story as always J-R!
And i agree with Luiggi, a replay is in order.

[Mr B]

Nice to follow up on that story by our master J-R...
**
Well, the weather was nice, I had the dice.
All blocks that cause the lot, of casualty Not.

There was one TD, the undead who made'd.
One pow did turn it, the dwarfs who burned it.
They were so close sniffing the rose
But in turn 8, the ghoul he finally gained it.

There was no maiming, but on the slayer we were aiming.
Instead of some bones snapping, one badly hurt did happen.
Ending the first half when gaming.

The second started with a rock that from a fan it departed
On Grim's head it landed his skull made him stranded
On the LOS the dwarfs was out smarted.

Some fouling was conducted and blitzer reluctant
he took it like a man and in the end he ran
"with the ball" shouted a fan

Two goals we predicted the strong ghoul he inflicted 
And The Red Card to the Skeleton the REF directed.

The last moments of the round, a scrum was found
With the ball lying in the middle and on the ground.

A blitzer picked it Up and run like a bunny to the zone
My god it was already noon.
The ball flew away like a zap, but it was't even funny
Because he was stopped by the mummy.

The Apo he prayed and in his box he stayed
There were no need of anyone bother to heal.
But the dwarfs mvp the Slayer he yield.

A Good game was the conclusion a tough game no illusion
On a a mummy the mvp landed in the confusion.
***


Thanks Lars for the game, sorry for the lucky 1d in the first half.

[Lars]

nicely writen and a gg was a bit tough with the tv diff but i managed pretty well

/Lars

[hakos]

I have to say that even without playing, it is great fun following what is happening and reading all the great writeups after the matches

Nice done, B

/hakos

[J-Reedy]

Very nice, B-man! You're really busting out good rhymes!

[equilibri]

The 2 most violent teams met under a very strong shining sun and Nuffle gave them each a half to shine as bright! :D

First half the orcz got the upper hand by fouling out the minotaur early (it died, but the apo was good, so he got him back in to the game...).
That was the second kill that the gobbo managed on fouling in 2 games, so now the coach is hiring the rest of his family!
The chaos team tried to blitz the ballcarrier 3 times, but each time something came in the way so the half ended with 1-0 to the orcz.

Second half the luck turned even if the orcz got perfect defence and a really nice kick.
First the troll died! And regen was not included on that model...
(that was the teams second troll so now there will be no more trolls! 2 spp total on 2 trolls in more than 15 games... not worth it...)
Then more orcs got sent of, though only KO, but still...

In the last turns the orcs tried everything, and if Nuffle had wanted someone to win they could have succeeded, but no, it was a draw.

Thanks for the game, Luiggi! No serious injuries on my side, so I am happy! (no, a dead troll is not a serious injury...)

[Mr B]

Ok, sounds like a fight that was expected.
Thanks everyone for getting this going.

Game is valid and Next day is forwarded.
See ya in MD3 thread!
:D