On the topic of vermin

[johoohno]

Helllöu my Lord!

We are a group of still standing rot infested blood bowl fans with a grand variety of illnesses split among us. On top of that we enjoy a good game of Blood Bowl every now and then, as often as we are let in to the arena actually. You might have seen us bleeding and felt our pungent presence? We go by the name "Pest eller Kolera"

We have, however, heard a rumour that there are rats in this town. Euuuuuw, how repulsive (and not anywhere near as powerful, decent and brilliant as guinea pigs, hamsters or other rodents). And as a means to rescue your granaries and peoples health in general (we humbly see ourselves as experts of virology and bacterias) we would like to be allowed seeking out professional exterminators to rid this town of those problems. I've heard that there is both a skillful Minotaur and a somewhat chaotic warrior who both (or at least one of them) might be interested in joining our cause coming Sunday when we are actually meeting these furry creatures in the Valhalla cup.

Would you allow us go looking for those fine and upstanding citizen of your splendid community in order to try and wipe out the skaven vermin?

If you swing that way, our beloved team captain, Svulst, would be honoured to offer you personally his world known and appreciated tentacle massage right after the match.

What say you, oh wise Jarl of Cowpenhagen?

[NUL]

[*The sound of a flushing toilet*]

[A door opens]

I heard you, I heard you. Cheez... There was something wrong with that sandwich... A "Svulst-massage"? That's sounds great! Well of course I'll help you out! Hmm... Lets see... Well, If you want a Mino, you could get one of those from Warla. They have lots of Minos that supplies them with that precious Minotaur Milk. I'll send one of my runners over there and ask if you could borrow one, shouldn't be a problem. Then let's see... Well... Oh, I know! The captain of my guards, Olaf Stinkenberg, would probably be up for it! He's no real Chaos warrior, but he hasn't taken a bath for 25 years and he drinks a pint of Absolut Chaos vodka every day. He would do great! just make sure he has someone to beat up, otherwise he'll be grumpy. So that's it. Don't forget to pay tribute to my during the Cow market, though, cause you owe me one! C ya!

[Leaves the room]

[johoohno]

I'm honoured by your response illustrious leader of Cowpenhagen.

However, I've heard that the minotaur Grashnak Blackhoof and the Chaos Warrior Lord Borak the Despoiler is in town and was thinking of them too. I might just have the finances and the rancid guts to go talk to them. Would you think ill of me for approaching so highly esteemed visitors? If I can afford their services (I'm not certain this minute if what I have is enough, but it might just be) I promise to put up a match with gore, guts and spilling of brains.

[NUL]

[Lord Psychomullet re-enters the room]

[Lord Psychomullet looks very annoyed]

GOD! I get this ALL the time! Let me guess... You saw a big brute down at the market that looked just like Borak the Despoiler, and thought, "Hey, cool! That's Borak"... That was NOT Borak you saw, that was my mother Inga. GOD! I'm so tired to have explain this to everyone... *grinding teeth* Look, of course I would know if any of these legendary players where here, I would invite them to stay in my house of course! Now, those players linger down in the Empire, where the big tournaments are. If you want to contact them, I can't help you. Just send an SMS or something, their agents are usually quick to reply...