S28 Match Day 1

[J-Reedy]

You really get to know thy master when you serve him for a millennium. And you get to anticipate all the little quirks he gets when he gets excited about something. Like that time when he saw a jack-in-the-box. I still pity all the parents of Old World who named their sons Jack. But must admit that that century was really profitable for box makers. But I must admit, this latest fad of his really surprised me. Capes and Blood Bowl. Well, not the Blood Bowl part, he dabbled with that when the league was still young, though then he played himself. Scored four touchdowns in a single game once when playing for Polk High Fool Fangers. But those capes... Don't know where he picked that up. But what I do know he is sending me after every cape wielding celebrity he can think of to get them to play for him. All of them refuse of course, so my master had only two caped players "recruited" for our first match. You see, he really doesn't like to go out much, so it takes a really special cape wielder to get himself to do the recruiting. He is of course much more to the point with recruiting than I am... Well, our first Blood Bowl match with my master managing the game through some unfortunate puppet of a coach was against some team undead who seemed strangely organized for a corpse team, almost like they were ex-military or something.

Well, it started out rotten. You see, the ref was a rotter and sun was shiny, so there was smell of rot everywhere. Then my master spotted the two Wights that opponent had on the field. That drove him mad. If it had not been so sunny, I reckon he would've jumped onto field himself. I swear that was all he could talk about for days. "Renfeld! Did you see those capes they wore! How could they spoil such fine capes by wearing them out and not patching holes!" Yeah. Don't know what it is with him and the capes. And then things got worse as one of our caped ones, the singer with that fancy white cape my master took liking to, tried to blitz a ghoulish figure standing next to one of the Wights. Well, our guy, Presley is his name if I recall correctly, went down hard, knocked himself out real good. He was all shook up. That kind of left us exposed, especially when one "those supporting fools not worthy to wear a cape" as my master calls them, got hurt bad and was carried off. We were in middle of the field with the ball and undead all around us. Master commanded one of our "bastardly blood sacks" to run for goal and our second caped one, a rich orphan who much to his infortune likes capes also as much as my master, to toss the ball to that "ugly peon trying to make it look like he is running". Well, that didn't go too well. That Wayne kid really disappointed with his throwing skills, as the ball landed next to him. We held on for a bit longer but then to no avail, there were simply too many of the opponent and too few of us on the field. Master of course is insistent that it was due to them having two players with capes on the field against our one.

So, we were down 1-0. And then things got worse. That Presley kid got back onto field, but he didn't stay there long. Another blitz and down he went again. This time for good, hurt his chest or something, was muttering something about heartbreak hot hell or something like that when they carried him off. And then our "wretched never-do-good excuses for player padding fillings" also started going down and out. I think we were playing 3 against 10 at some point. 2-0. 3-0. 4-0. Nothing went our way. Master was furious after the game. I was sure that I and all of the team was done for when he stormed into the locker rooms. Never get used to that, him appearing out of storm clouds oozing from holes in the door. But that doctor saved us. I guess it's kind of poetic, our loss putting our lives in danger but also saving them. You see, there was so much patching up of those "meat sacks not even worthy of draining" to do that our regular apothecary couldn't handle the load. So I had to call in a doctor to help him. And by god, that was a lucky call. I just picked the doctor by his name, Strange, such a fitting name for the job he was to do. He appeared just as master was about to his worst. The moment the master saw his cape, I knew we were saved. He simply had to have that red wonder. So, all good in the end. Still living and we have a new caped one in our team. From a doctor to a Blood Bowler in a single bite, how Strange.