Match Reports, Banter, Trash Talk and Graveyard

[JerXou]

1-2 for my rats vs luiggis orks. Nothing special just riot took the game on bad start with taking 7 of my rats down including both blitzers,whole scrimmage and gutter runner.. well stilll managed to do goal but after that it was mostly idling.

[Luiggi]

Orkitis B.C. 2 - 1 Space Cheese

A much anticipated match for the local crowd that did not disappoint all those who congragated in the Orkitis Stadium tonight. Plenty of blood, knock-outs and violence, with the rats taking the worst part of it.

The visitors won the coin toss and chose to receive, with their gutter runners ready to catch the ball and start heading towards the end zone. However, some hooligans invaded the pitch, stunning 9 rats and 1 orc thrower. Only two gutter runners were left standing, so they took the ball and faced the bloodthirsty orcs. They rushed inside their half to put some pressure on them, but the rats avoided most of the blocks, wrestling their rivals down to the ground with them. By turn 3 everyone was up and at it again, and the orcs inability to knock any player down was starting to frustrate the coach. After a nice pick up and hand-off, a gutter runner managed to go through the orcish line, scoring in turn 5 and leaving the orcs a chance to come back into the game this half.

Orkitis got the ball safely in his midfield and started smashing some rat's skulls. Several KO's and a killing blow by an orc lineman on a journeyman rat made things easier for the home team, despite a reckless blitz by a gutter runner that sent the ball flying around. However, the reserve thrower picked it up and handed it off to a blitzer, who ran all along the right flank. The rats had a slim chance of taking it, or at least put some pressure on the ball, but for some reason they just stood still and gave the blitzer enough time to simply score in turn 8 [a miss-click by JerXou basically gave me a free turn so I did not even need to block or dodge to get the TD]. The half ended with 1 death, 1 injury and 5 KO's on the rat's side; clean sheet for the orcs.

Second half started and it seems those rats were hit really hard, since only one of them got up. Fielding 11 players versus 6, it was easy to secure the ball and head for the end zone while some blitzers and black orcs hunted down the rats. They put up an honorable fight but were finally beaten up by the orcs: many were KO'd, some injured and yet another linerat got killed... this time they smashed his head and not only his collar bone. Orcs scored in turn 16.

For the third drive, only one KO recovered again, so it was 3 linerats in the Line of Scrimmage versus 11 orcs. They blitzed Space Cheese last warriors and finished the game stomping a mercenary, sending him to the hospital for the joy of all the fans at the stadium. The game ended like it started: with 9 rats on the ground and 2 rats standing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good game, JerXou. I have to admit that I was really lucky with kick-off events and armor rolls, although it took my orcs 3 or 4 turns to get a knockdown despite the number of block dice rolled. Second half was kinda boring because of the overwhelming numbers advantage, and I don't like stalling that much but you can never be too cautious when playing versus skaven... they can do wonders on offense. Maybe you should have gone for other type of inducement (2x bloodweiser babes, bribe/apothecary)... taking 2 extra rerolls for a total of 5 is not going to make a big difference at this TV and with 2 journeymen.

[Mr B]

Nice work everyone!
All games done and MD8 is ready.

Cheers!
/B

[JerXou]

Well i guess another apo would have been useful just didint think it really matter with that awful awful start and such. I just find rerolls the most useful in the game atleast with skaven and when you have quite some one roll dices and important blocks to deal with. But basically most of my matches have been struggle to stay alive so i dont really find this season so interesting. This one was yet most boring one :P not that i mean bad

[J-Reedy]

Official complaint to league officials due to events from the physical excursion between GENTLEMEN WOLF-WHISTLERS and DRUCHII SMUCHII SCHMOO that ended with a DSS 1-2 WIN

We the undersigned, official representatives of the Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers (The Club), the gentlemen's club for gentlemen of whistling persuasion, would like to file a formal complaint to those officials of the Norsca Union League (or NUL) who are officially responsible for organizing the above mentioned gentlemen's club's weekly physical activity. This complaint concerns the following two instances from The Club's physical activity with the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo:

1) The players of the The Club would like to note that the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo had a member of a female persuasion within their ranks, namely a which-elf called Eviscerating Evelyn. This should be considered an unfair advantage as all the members of The Club are true gentlemen who have the highest of respect for the members of the female sex, who would never hurt a members of the mentioned sex and who have a persuasion for assuring that all members of the female sex feel themselves secure. It should be noted that Ms. Evelyn took advantage of this conviction of the members of The Club by personally injuring and knocking out numerous members of The Club. Therefore The Club would like the league officials to guarantee that the the members of the female sex would be banned from taking part in the future physical activities of The Club as players. The Club would like to emphasize that this ban should only concern the actual physical activities performed on the field, presence of females - preferably stunning platinum blondes in red dresses - outside the sidelines would be welcomed and encouraged.

2) The Club would like to note that persons who had gathered to view the above mentioned physical activity decided to take  part in the physical activities by storming the playing field and stunning six members of The Club within the last minutes of the physical activity. The Club would like the officials of the league to give an official explenation why this was allowed and why the security personnel of the physical activity only allowed members of the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo fan club storm the field.

The Club hereby submits this complaint to the NUL league officials.
For The Club,
Mr. Teddy and Mr. Geri the Greedy

-------------------------
Coaches comments:
Very even game which was decided by me foolishly giving away a quite sure 1-1 tie by scoring the equalizer when 3 turns were left. I thought that having at least 2 man advantage (ended up being 3 man advantage when one of Barmution's 4 KOs failed) should give me a fair chance to try for a defensive stop and TD. But as the kick-off result ended up being Pitch Invasion where 6 Wolf-Whistlers and only 1 Darkie Elf were stunned, Barmution had quite an easy task scoring. Eviscerating Evelyn was on fire, scoring 2 or 3 casualties with a couple of KOs also thrown in there. Quite exciting game and nice gaming from Barmution. Thanks again for the nice game!

[Barmution]

Official reply to formal complaint from the Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers (further referred to as GWW) regarding the physical excursion yesterday.

We, the undersigned representatives of Druchii Smuchii Schmoo (DSS), would like to give a comprehensive response to the points raised by GWW.

1) DSS is, by decree of the Overcouncil of Sinister Sportivities, an equal opportunity sports club. This, by definition, implies that Druchii female specimen are not only allowed but even encouraged to take to the field to render grievous physical harm upon their opponents or vice versa, depending on the wills of Khaine and Nuffle. If any so-called gentlemen are too weak of stomach or perhaps too distracted by our sister in battle's anatomical blessings, we would claim that such a player is unsuited for the demands of this sport. What if such players were to face a team of these female furies of Lustria, the Amazons? The result would surely be a detriment to all fans of this noble game and to the players themselves. No, we say, get with the times; these outdated notions harken back to the glory days of the Slann and should be considered relics of a distant age.

2) Considering the physical incursion of fans unto the field, it was not a matter of security personell shirking their duties. We most certainly resent the implication of bribery or threats untowards the family or loved ones of such staff. No, the matter is quite simply one of physiological differences between our sports clubs respective fan-bases: Whereas a fan of GWW seems to be at best a shambling hunk of partially decomposed flesh, a DSS fan is a nimble, strong and willful entity, blessed with both the foresight of recognizing a far superior team and the body to enact righteous vengeance upon the opposing team when referees fail to comply with respectful suggestions made pre-game. As such, we would like to register our own complaint as a member of our own ranks were hit during the tumults, something that seemed far less likely given the reasons listed above.

For Druchii Smuchii Schmoo,
Archibald "Wolf Bait" Arson and Dastardly Danny Dwarf-Drowner

-----------------------
Coaches comments:
I'll freely admit being quite lucky with winning this one, J. That Pitch Invasion was a one-sided travesty if I ever saw one. My block dice started off quite badly in the first half but soon Evilyn was laying down the smack with a vengeance... pretty lucky armor/inury rolls for me indeed. Good thing I didn't inflict lasting injury on you, tho, that would've left quite the bad taste in my mouth considering the outcome of the match. You played very well and would at least have deserved a draw.

Nuffle's blessings to you for your remaining matches!
-Barm

[Beuenri]

BuzcaBass - Bloody Gorers 2-0

Well, nothing much to say about this match, I had incredible lucky block dices and it was very funny to finally get to test my Deathroller (never had one before). My GFI rolls were something incredibly bad, failed GFI twice or thrice even with reroll.

Konna had one very good opportunity to get the game even in the last turn of round 8, but his terrible dodgerolls failed him.

WP by konna nevertheless.

[J-Reedy]

OFFICIAL COMPLAINT to the chief editor of the book "Skaven anatomy and habits with some delicious rat tail recipes" (2nd edition, Ogre & Trollop publishing) due to discrepancies noted in the book during physical activity between the gentlemen's club GENTLEMEN WOLF-WHISTLERS and skaven association SPACE CHEESE that ended in 1-3 SKAVEN VICTORY.

We the undersigned, official representatives of the Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers (The Club), the gentlemen's club for gentlemen of whistling persuasion, would like to file a formal complaint to the editor of the above mentioned book (The Inaccurate Tome) of some serious mistakes noted in the Inaccurate Tome. Members of The Club noticed at least following discrepancies between the actual properties of the skaven and the ones described in The Inaccurate Tome:

1) According to The Inaccurate Tome "Skaven are fragile creatures who can be hurt easily once they are caught" (p. 5, chapter I). This is a pure lie. First of all, the hinted evasive nature of the skaven seems not to be true as the members of The Club had no trouble catching the skaven (although it should be noted that all of the members were carrying some extremely long matured camembert cheese with them, which may have made the process a bit easier). Second, the members noted the skaven armor is as hard to brake as orcish armor. The members of The Club managed to penetrate the skaven armor as rarely as against the orc opponent that The Club played just two weeks ago. Therefore, The Club would like to suggest that The Inaccurate Tome should be changed to read "Skaven are furry creatures which gives them a good natural protection against normal hits and only clawed attacks can be deemed to be effective against the skaven".

2) Secondly according to The Inaccurate Tome "Skaven are not aggressive by nature and tend to shy away from all physical contact if it can be avoided" (p. 6, chapter I) and "The relatively feeble skaven rarely manage to hurt any of their prey..." (p. 46, chapter III). It is a travesty that such inaccuracies can be printed! The members of The Club would like to inform the editor of The Inaccurate Tome that after first minute of the physical activity between The Club and skaven association Space Cheese two (2) members of The Club were knocked out by the "feeble" skaven. Also, during the whole length of the said physical activity, three (3) members of The Club were injured, two of them so seriously and badly that they didn't even manage to regenerate the wounds! The Club therefore suggest that The Inaccurate Tome should be changed to read "The Skaven are fiercly territorial creatures who defend their territory with determination" and "The Skaven are naturally aggressive and can gnaw and claw through even of thickest natural armor of their prey...".

The Club hereby submits this complaint to the editor of The Inaccurate Tome and officially demands that the full amount that The Club paid for their edition of The Inaccurate Tome should be returned with interest to the Club.

For The Club,
Mr. Orson and Mr. Freki the Hungy

----------
Coachy comments: I just got pummeled by skaven. JerXou's rats started strong and laid some serious smack down during first half. At the same time, my guys couldn't get through the thick rat fur and then I got some double skulls at inappriate moments which gave JerXou openings which he used nicely and effectively. After being down 2-0 after first half I had to try for a fast score and open up the play. This back-fired when JerXou managed to pull off a nice "blitz, crab the ball and run it to the goal" manouver. At the mid point of second half I started getting normal armor results but it was too late. But I did manage to make the highlight play of the game, namely a half court long hail mary pass from a wight surrounded by 3 skaven to a wolf on a scoring distance. Nice game by JerXou thanks again for the game!

[JerXou]

Yeah game was okay i was trying to mimic your pass at the end but no dice. Casualties was kind high too meaning oh when oh when can i play with 4 gutter runners :D and of course my rat ogre that just entered the game and got first blood which is always nice :)

[Luiggi]

Less than 3 hours remain for a clash that could determine the winner of the Norsca Union League, season 5! The top contenders, Druchii Smoochii Schmoo and Orkitis B.C, face each other in what is promised to be a memorable Blood Bowl encounter. The dark elves sit comfortably on top of the rankings with a 4 point advantage over the orcs, who need the victory to keep their chances for the championship alive. A draw is enough for DSS to claim the title, and even if they lost today they would get another chance versus the overachieving ogre side Fasta Stronga Betta, who climbed up to the third position. Therefore, things are not looking very well for Orkitis if they want to hop up to the first position, since they would need to win these last two matches versus quick, agile teams (darks and pro elves) and have DSS draw or lose against the ogres. However, if DSS lost both matches and Orkitis drew on the last one, the season would finish with a tie between both teams! Who would claim the title then? The commissioners would have to speak up and clarify what the priority is. Best touch down differential? Winner of the direct match-up? Goblin throwing contest?

In any case, none of this will matter if the orcs do not win today's match against a team that saw their best player Evilyn die in a match recently. We'll see if orcish brutality can overcome the dark elves' superior agility and speed. Stay tuned for the post-game report, who could very well announce the winner of this season!

[Barmution]

Yar! At this point I'm mostly hoping to survive the onslaught with enough able blodgers to make life difficult for the ogres in my last match. I've lost quite a few positionals to injuries (and worse) this season, so things have been more than a little hairy at times. Looking forward to settle this later tonight  ;)

[JerXou]

3-1 victory for my rats versus Konnas chaos.

[Luiggi]

Druchii Moochii Schmoo 2 - 0 Orkitis B.C.

The orcs were not up for this match against the leader and lost clearly to the dark elves, who claimed the Norsca Union League Season 5 title!

Home team kicked the ball and their line of scrimmage was promtly put on the ground. The orcs secured the ball in midfield and prepared to work it upfield. However, two KO's in the first two turns (first one being Rokzig the killer and second one being a black orc, who turned the ball over with plenty of skulls on turn 2) made it quite difficult to advance. The elves launched a surgical attack and knocked the ball loose, which jumped away into the hands of a lineman and he switftly ran back to put it to safety. The first and only injury of the match was dealt in the first half, but it was nothing serious... a lineman with some bruises. The elves stalled the game in their backfield and when they decided to move up field they missed an easy pass, giving a slight option for the orcs to recover. However, a lineman and a black orc were not enough to counter the four elves around the ball. A blitzer picked it up and made a run for it, and even though a tackling expert tried to knock him down with the help of another blitzer, he just would not budge. By turn 8 he dodged away and scored the go-ahead goal, placing their team very close to the championship title.

DSS received again and the orcs quickly rushed them. They managed to knock the ball loose from the rookie witch elf and get hold of it, giving hope to the visitors. He was only a few yards away from touchdown. However, an elf blitzer sprinted all the way from the other side and blocked him in a 1 on 1 fight, knocking him down. The ball jumped out of the field and the DSS fans sure helped his team by placing the ball in the orc's backfield, away from the reach of any orc, but right where an elf could pick it up. So he did, and after stalling the game a couple of turns, he scored, sealing their victory.

In the last drive the orcs tried to ease their frustration by blocking, hitting and fouling any elf they'd see while working the ball upfield. It was not enough this day, for only two elves were knocked out. In the last turn of play, the orcs tried to deal some damage while still retaining a chance to score, but their first block by Rokzig, who seeked revenge on the witch elf who knocked him down earlier, was met with the ferocity of the witch, who knocked him down instead.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Congratz to Barm for the title and the match, it was very well played (a bit slow if you ask me, 4 minutes eeeevery turn XD) and with today's rolls things went much smoother for him. The off-the-pitch bounce was the icing on the cake of a very frustrating match for me, since there was no way I could injure their players. Both his 1d blocks against my carrier ended up being a pow (or stumble, can't remember) and I think that was a real gamebreaker (though there's a reason why there are 6 sides on the dice, heh).

[Barmution]

A very accurate writeup. Thanks for the game, Luiggi and sorry for your rather rotten luck. I think the BBManager stats aren't entirely fair on this one. Better luck to you next season!
-Barm

[J-Reedy]

The Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers as a club and all of the club's members and trainer of the club's physical activities would hereby like to congratulate the champion of the NUL's 6th season, Druchii Smuchii Schmoo. Winning any kind of championship requires skill, speed, endurance, intellect, courage, pure and brave heart, wisdom and bravado but it can also be done with aggression, violence, deceit and cunning as the DSS has proven. We hope that the championship has satisfied the will of Khaine and none of the DSS players have to be sacrificed after the season. Gratulations once again to all the players of the championship association and their fine trainer!