S16 - Match Day 1

[Barmution]

Barm when can you play?
I can play
wednesday from 19:00.
thursday from 19:00
sunday fom 21:00

/Lars

Thursday at 21:00 would be perfect for me and unfortunately the only available time for me this week (taking a trip to my hometown for the weekend), so if you can do it then you have a date with my squishies ;)

-Barm

[Lars]

Barm when can you play?
I can play
wednesday from 19:00.
thursday from 19:00
sunday fom 21:00

/Lars

Thursday at 21:00 would be perfect for me and unfortunately the only available time for me this week (taking a trip to my hometown for the weekend), so if you can do it then you have a date with my squishies ;)

-Barm

Thursday at 21 is fine see u then

[The Golden Arrow]

Thursday evening sounds ok right now, I guess we can both check and come back to each other?

Yes, let's say tentatively at 21 then?

Yup, looks like it will work fine for me.

[muller71]

Nice!
Let the games begin!  ;D

So muller, my green brother in arm!

My OK starting times for this week are as follow.
Monday: No go
Tuesday: 19.30-22.00
Wednesday: 21.30-22.00
Thursday: 21.30-22.00
Friday: 20.00-00.00 (not 100% sure about this one)


Saturday: 12.00- All day
Sunday: 19.00-22.00


/Scurvy ol' capt'n Gnaarkill  8)

Hi,my green m8,

How about today (wednesday) starting at 21.30 CEST.

[J-Reedy]

Wednesday 20:00 (GMT+2, I think... Sweden?) sounds great! See u then!

That works for me, see you later today!

[Gnaarkill]

Hi,my green m8,

How about today (wednesday) starting at 21.30 CEST.

Sounds perfect!

See you tonight m8!

/Gnaar

[equilibri]

Wednesday 20:00 (GMT+2, I think... Sweden?) sounds great! See u then!

That works for me, see you later today!

Will be a bit late. Can we say 20:15?

[J-Reedy]

- All right, you folks, you know why you're here. I'm Gron Grombundy and I'm looking for a co-host for the new NUL season to our record-breaking, trend-setting, awe-striking magicast Blood Sports Spotlight! So, I'm going to test your knowledge and suitability for magicastabilism with some questions about the latest NUL season. Let's see, who would I test firs...
- CRUSHER GOES FIRST! CRUSHER FAST TALK, TALK GOOD!
- Ahem, all right big-fellow, so which team made the biggest impression last season in your opinion.
- CRUSHER NOT LIKE FUNNY-TALKERS WHO SOUND LIKE OTHER TALKERS!
- What? Oh, impressionists, yes... Let's see... Crusher, who was good last season in NUL?
- BLACKBEARD!
- Oh, yes, the TD scoring Troll, naturally you would like him, considering he did something that is seen maybe once a decade by actually catching the ball and not eating it right away. But I wanted to know about teams, Crusher, what team good in NUL last season?
- DA BEARTROLLS!
- ...But they play in the Big Rocky Rock League...
- DA BEARTROLLS!
- Yes, but you must understand that our magicast talks about NUL and...
- DA BEARTROLLS!
- You, dwarf-guy. What's your opinion on the Beartrolls?
- DA BEARTROLLS!
- If ya'sking me, tall stuff, I hafta say that those trolls are as dumm as they're big and that team ain't worth a spit, our Gold Bay Goldpackers beat them twice in the league and once in a bar brawl last season!
- DA BEARTROLLS!
- Thank you, I knew I could rely on your dwarven honesty. Let's give it a minute or two...
- Whats'ya mean, tall stuff?
- DA BEARTROL... WAIT, DID THAT SMALL FURRY TALKER SAY BEARTROLLS NO GOOD?
- That he said. You better run now, dwarf-guy.
- CRUSHER CRUSH! CRUSH! WHERE FURRY TALKER GO! COME HERE FURRY TALKER! CRUSHER CRUSH!
- NIPPY, get the door!
*CRACK*
- Never mind. Ok, folks, two down, not suitable material for our esteemed magicast. Let's see, you, guy with glasses, who are you and what you know about NUL?
- Mac Gall'up is the name, and stats are my game, mr. Grumbundy! I've taken a liberity to gather an extensive statistical analysis of the last season of NUL! For example, did you know that Fantasy Armor Inc. and ColaChaos were the most violent teams when looking at the total number of casualties but actually both of those teams relied heavily on one individual for casualties, ColaChaos on BullyCao who caused almost half of their casualties and Fantasy Armor on Frazzy Etta who was responsible for almost third of the team casualties but when looking for the most even split of casualty-ratio among the team's players there's one clear winner, namely the New Orc Gitz who had 9 players with at least one casualty, and also the Spawnin Brothers and Da Freebooterz had quite an even split with 7 casualty-richened players. And if we look at the touchdowns, we see similar trend where the Spawnin Brothers dominated the team scoring but relied heavily on their star player Goqtocpaz who scored almost third of the TD's while the true spread-it-around team were the darke elf team Lords of Sith with 9 different scorers followed by the pro elf team Unbreakable Panzer Squad who had 7 different scorers. The Fantasy Armor Inc also had 7 different scorers but considering that the Panzer Squad used less players overall in their roster they should get the mention over the norse. And if we look at the throwing stats...
- Wait! So, if I understood you correctly, you're saying that Chaos, Norse, Lizardmen and Orcs hit the hardest, the best scorer was a lightning-fast skink and bunch of as-or-almost-lightning-fast elfs?
- Yes... Well, you could simplify the gist of the statistical analysis that way, but you must understand that the stats reveal many, many, many interesting things. Like the peculiar fact that the lightly-armored norse team were strangely unharmed throughout the season, with only Da Freebooterz having less serious casualties against them and..
- STOP right there! So basically you're saying that the team with the superior armor-producer as their sponsor and the orcs with skin as tough as the steaks at the seediest roadside inn were hurt the less?
- Well... Yes, but considering that the armor of the Fantasy...
- Wait a minute... Did you say Gall'up? Are you related to Gall'p Keines?
- Oh yes, he's my half-brother, very respected statician in his own right, although he doesn't...
- OK, you can get out. We'll contact you if we need some wiseguy to state the obvious.
- But...
- NIPPY! Show the door to him!
- Umm... Which part, mr. Gron? It's quite splintered as there's a big troll-sized hole in the middle...
- *Sigh* Okey, who we have left? Only one, where did everybody else go?
- Oh, that nice elfish gentleman leaned too far while admiring the view from the window, that halfling fellow choked on something, the scaly cold-blooded one fell on a knife that was unfortunately lying on the floor and the wise-looking goblin fellow suddenly seemed to remember that he had something to do...
- And you might be?
- Drizzy Urine, dark elf.
- Umm... You won't mind me asking what line of work you're in currently, or previously?
- I'm in disposal.
- Yeees, and what's your view of the last season of Nul?
- Oh, I'd say that the league was quite tight actually, most of the matches being decided by 1 TD differential. I'd say the Zlluga Boyz made an impressive showing, actually winning two games, quite a feat from a rookie goblin team. The Wolf Hall on the hand seemed to be an off and on team with only losses and wins, if they just would've managed to turn two of their losses to draws, they would've been in the hunt for the playoffs spot. But they were of course hindered by the early injury to their werewolf, key player in a necro team of course. Orc teams on the other hand trouble with too many draws, but that's quite natural as they rely on the cage-play and not on fast scoring. Game of Blood Throne seemed to be possessed by rash of injuries and deaths, they never got their roster rolling. Dendrogoly was the other team to suffer from injuries, that early neck injury on their wardancer made life just too hard for them. Old World Pirates seemed to be the most entertaining team out there, with some spectacularly hilarious plays from their bombers and then that awesome trollish touchdown. Lords of Sith... they served the dark one good by givin him lots of blood but unfortunately it was mostly their own. But they developed well and I'll promise you Darth Malak will be a force to be reckoned with, if he manages to stay on the field that is, he has a big mark on him now... Spawnin Brothers versus ColaChaos in the finals... I actually predicted the lizards to make it into finals, the brute force of rookie lizzie teams is just too much to handle. ColaChaos got their groove on when they hired that minotaur, and they were naturally coached by the star manager of the league, so it can't be considered a surprise. What else? Oh, the norse team, they were just lucky with the injury game, dishing out much more than they received.
- Impressive, mr. Urine... Well, we'll be sure to contact you! Thank you very much for this delightful chat!
- Why thank you, mr. Grumbundy, I look forward working with you! I see so many chances for advancement in this job...
- Bye, now!
- ....
- Is he gone, Nippy?
- Yes, mr. Gron.
- LOCK EVERYTHING UP! AND GET ME THE ASSASSINS GUILD!

[J-Reedy]

Wednesday 20:00 (GMT+2, I think... Sweden?) sounds great! See u then!

That works for me, see you later today!

Will be a bit late. Can we say 20:15?

No problemos, I'm in no hurry. I'm on vacation and sun is shining.

[equilibri]

Wednesday 20:00 (GMT+2, I think... Sweden?) sounds great! See u then!

That works for me, see you later today!

Will be a bit late. Can we say 20:15?

No problemos, I'm in no hurry. I'm on vacation and sun is shining.

Sounds great! I am ready now, so let's dance the dance! :D

[tags]

Thursday evening sounds ok right now, I guess we can both check and come back to each other?

Yes, let's say tentatively at 21 then?

Yup, looks like it will work fine for me.

Yup, should work, will be slightly hectic getting my PC set back up again, but I think I'll make it.

[J-Reedy]

- WELLCOME to BLOOD SPORT SPOTLIGHT! Our fantastic magicast about the magnificent Blood Bowl League they call the NUL! I'm Gron Grumbundy and with me today is...
- Drizzy Urineaaarrggghh....
- Oh my, how unfortunate! Seems my collegue has suffered a serious case of iron poisoning! Nippy, show the nice man from the guild out and give him his fee. Dear me, such an unfortunate event! But don't worry dear listeners, you still have me to report on the all the important stuff from NUL! We're coming to you bit early this time, only two matches have been played so far. The season kicked off with the gloriant return of the Khemri team Drop Dead Gorgeous who kicked the living day... well, can't say that in this case... the living nightlights out of the dark elf team Lords of Sith! The Khemri scored just 2 injuries but managed 3 of the dark elfs got hurt, so the DDG seem to be just as efficient in hurting people - well, people, elf folk, goblins, trollies, you name it, they seem to be equal-opportunity bashers - as they were when they went for their hiatus. Sith Lords won't get a relief in their next match where their opponent will be the tackling tallity-deprived dwarf side of In search of snow white! The Khemri are also getting a bit bashier opponent, they'll go against Da Freebooterz, who also have made their bedute into the season! They visited the fantasticly armored norse-side Fantasy Armor Inc. The match was played in heavy rain that lasted all througout the game and really effected the game as I'll soon lay out to you. The FAI won the toss - the coin toss, I mean, not the goblin toss that is traditionally done before every orcish match - and chose to receive. Kick was shallow and ball landed dangerously glose to the line but FAI managed to wipe out the defending line and secure the ball. Orcs responded by laying a bad hurt on norse runner Ken Killy who left the match due to the injury. But the norse managed to clear a running lane for their thrower who had the ball. He ran fast through from the right and would've scored fast if a curious very sudden lightning storm hadn't struck. The storm lasted only one second and was only manifested by a single lightning that happened to hit the norse ball-carrier. After this there was a bit of scramble for securing the ball. Orcs wisely chose this time to start hitting it heavy and soon there were norse players stunned around the ball. Curiously, one of norse bezerkers, Achy Lleos, tried to kill himself while dodging but the norse emergency unit was close at hand with some grade A beer, so Achy Lleos was revived. However, this gave the orcs a chance for the ball, and their thrower got the ball up. Unfortunately a quick pass attempt that followed was less succesful with the ball going sideways into the stands. The crowd tossed the ball next to the orc goal line and the norse proceeded to secure the ball. However, also orcs had a couple of players close by so a fast tossle followed. Key play at this point was by Abby Enchancer who took a block from the orcs standing up and followed that deed with a block that cleared a blitz and pick-up route for the norse star bezerker Frazzy Etta. Frazzy Etta did what stars do, knocking down Azhag the orc who was guarding the ball and then picking the ball up and running it into the endzone! Quite a play, wasn't it Nippy?
- Umm... I guess so, if you say so, mr. Gron!
- Truer words have never been spoken! Well, after the TD there was still a chance for the orcs to score with the old Trolly-toss-gobbo play and the play seemed to go well up to the point where trollie is supposed to toss the bugger with the ball. Seems that the orc coach had decided to let Flatprot the troll go hungry before the match to make him extra angry. Well, that plan backfired as the first thing Flatprot did when getting his hands on Da Stompa the goblin was to try to eat him. Unfortunately for the anxious crowd waiting to see some bones crunching and troll belching, Da Stompa managed to wiggle free and that was the end of the first half! The second half started with a deep kick right next to the sideline which gave the norse a chance to gage up the orc front line and send a hit squad after the ball. The plan almost succeeded as the orcs once again tried a quick-pass when they got the ball up and the ball was once again fumbled with the norse quickly covering the ball. But after that, when norse started to block, it looked more like of bar brawl than a Blood Bowl match - a drunken bar brawl I mean, I have to admit that some bar brawls are really entertaining. What I meant was that the norse kept missing their swings and the hero of the first half, Frazzy Etta finally managed to knock himself out with haymaker - quite a feat, just try that sometimes, you really have to hit hard and have flexible joints to swing all the way around your head to land your fist on your chin. Orcs had their chance and they used it! Galber the thrower picked up the ball and tossed to Gablor who quickly ran deep into norse endzone while his team-mates took out all the norse close enough to threaten him. Then followed a war of attrition, orcs had the numbers on the norse and they used that to their advantage, keeping the ball-carrier safe by blocking all blitzing routes. FAI had made some desperate attempts at the ball but all of them failed and Gablor had an easy job of scoring the equalizer just before the half ended. Touchdowns 1 to 1 and casualties were likewise split 2 to 2. However, orcs will be playing intact against the Drop Dead Gorgeus while Fantasy Armor Inc will be missing their strip baller Nipple Guard who suffered serious concussion. It is still uncertain if this injury will also prove fatal to Nipple Guard's career. But what is sure, is that FAI will certainly be missing Nipple as their next opponent is the other orc side of the NUL, New Orc Gitz! Tough start for the norse, going against both of the orcs in their first two games. However, Gitz have their first match against Spawning Brothers, who are know to be good at hurting their opponents. The other two unplayed matches of the first match day are the all-goblin affair, where the Zlluga Boys host the Old World Pirates, and the elf-dwarf game Unbreakable Panzer Squad versus In search of the snow white. If I was a betting man, I'd bet heavily on the goblin matchup being selected the most entertaining match of the week. Also, you might want to look into buying some shares of the local hospitals and apotecharies of the Snowwhiteville, as there's bound to be lots of twisted pointy ears and bruised elf bones! Well, I guess that's all from me this time! I'm Gron Grumbundy and this has been Blood Sports Spotlight, see you next week! Say bye to the nice listeners, Nippy!
- Bye to the nice listeners, Nippy. Was that OK, mr. Gron?
- There's that nippy humour of Nippy once again! Have a week folks!


- Even match with even numbers. Equilibri used his wizard just at the right time that made my scoring really hard. And the situation could've been even more serious if the quick pass attempt next to the sidelines hadn't failed or even stayed inside bounds. Thanks again for the nice game, Equilibri, and better luck in rest of the games!

[muller71]

The goblinfight ended with a win for Zlluga Boys. A very tight game, could have ended any way.

[Mr B]

Well done muller and ohboy it's good to have you back novel-reedy.
Nice written as always.  :D

[tags]

Golden, I'm sorry, but it looks like I can't play today. Thought we would be finished by now, but apparently some late arrivals will be looking at our apartment in about an hour. I'm afraid it will have to be next week, or I will forfeit the match if others think it's too late.