Blood Sports Spotlight - The Weekly League News and Speculations

[JerXou]

Great as always! Im hoping to get to play soon :)

[Mr B]

hehe, wonders to read it.
NUL's own King writer!

[J-Reedy]

FINAL WEEK RESULTS REVIEW AND FINALS SPECULATIONS

- Welcome ya all to the Blood Sports Spotlight magicast - THE place to get your weekly dose of Norsca Union League that we affectionately call NUL. I'm Gron Grumbundy and today I'm going to review the results from the last week of play. And we'll also take a look at the final games that'll decide the fate of the Valhalla Cup championship and the teams headed to Valhalla Cup from Ull's Pasture. I'm joined by... Building suspense here... He's back because of popular demand... Let's welcome the unsung hero of our little magicast, the coffee boy extra-ordinaire, NIPPY!
- Umh, hi Gron...
- We really got a lot of feedback on your surprise appearance on the show couple of weeks ago. Seems like folks really liked your down to earth analysis of the Jungle_Boogie vs Other Brothers game! So how have you prepared for this week Nippy?
- Well um, I talked to mom and dad about the finals at breakfast... And I went to see granddad... He used to support most of the players of NattBowlarna when they were still alive so I thougt he might know something...
- So really thorough preparation there Nippy! OK, let's take a look at the results from the final week starting with Ull's Pasture. The most interesting match of course was the one between the undead Last Steps and orc Lotsa Stompin'. Last Steps were one step ahead and won the tight game with the score of 1-0. Last Steps only managed to inflict one casualty but that took the orc lineman Grotta Madbang out of both this and Stompin's next game, so they made their hits count. Lotsa Stompin' were also hitting hard and Knocked Out four undeads and everybody knows that a Knock Out is almost better than casualty against the undeads. Tight game by all accounts and that game decided that Last Steps will be fighting for the spot on Valhalla Cup. Lotsa Stompin' finished third in Ull's. Last Steps will go against Flying Boom Bats BK in the Valhalla Cup qualification game, what do you say about this match-up Nippy?
- ... Mom said that rats are nasty and that undeads smell bad so she wouldn't let any of those players into any fancy place but as one of the Last Step's mummies looks a bit like grandmommy she's rooting for the unded... Dad said that Mom was out of her mind and that Boom Bats will fly around those slow skeletons and score on every play and that Ratatask will smash the other mummy with his tail and the other one with his teeth... So I don't know..
- Brilliant analysis Nippy! In the other games in the Ull's Pasture the league had to step in and give the wins for Virgins No More and Necro Norvegicus as both Roma Victorius and Den of Dragons suffered from the health problems. The results had no large scale effect on the standings, Virgins No More had already secured the top spot and will be playing in Valhalla Cup next season. Necro Norvegicus took the fourth place ahead of Den of Dragons and Roma Victorius. Looking quickly at the players in the Ull's, the seasons biggest achievers were Lotsa Stompin's Brokk Angrytoof who won the scoring title with 4 touchdowns, Last Step's ghoul Pebblegnawer who came in second in the scoring round and really was one of the league's most effective all-around players and Ramtu the First from Last steps with two kills. In passing yards the the top spots went to orc Trokbad Hawkstrangler, dark elf Livia Legionarius and skink Xlixz of the Pond and then there naturally became numer of Elfs from Virgins No More. So it seems that Virgins No More dominated because of good efforts from all of their players. Any word about Ull's before we move into Valhalla Cup Nippy?
- Mmm... Not really if I don't have to...
- Hahaa! You really know how to tickle your audience Nippy! All right on to the Valhalla Cup! Lets start with the games that were actually played. The results were identical as to the number of touchdowns, 2-1 victories for Cougar Kittens against Staffans Hooligang and for NattBowlarna against the Other Brothers. And similarities did not end here! Both matches had a crowd of 34 thousand and both matches were reported to be real humdingers as both of them scored 19 out of 20 in the spectator surveys! And wait, there's still more! For surprisingly in both matches the undeads were the team taking the punisment! Kittens beat out the Hooligang 3-2 in casualties, all three casualties of the Hooligang failed to regenerate and one of the casualties was a death! Other Brothers on the other hand lost the casualties 2-3 but their two also casualties were also not regenerated and both of them were serious injuries! What matches! What did your folks say about these teams or games Nippy?
- ...Ummhh. Mom said that Kittens are harlots and he'll whup my behind if I ever again try to put up posters of their players but she's happy that the all-woman team managed to show those dead sand folk which one is the stronger sex... Dad said that NattBowlarna won't miss two players as they can dig up new ones whenever they want and that Other Brothers are playing a good base game and it's just a matter of time when they'll break through...
- Wise words! Ok, the third match in Valhalla was to be the Jungle_Boogie versus Flying Boom Bats BK. Unfortunately there were once again portal problems - reports have not come through if this was due to visit from the cheerleader team - and the game was delayed. Finally the league had to step in and decide on the 1 all draw! This result meant that the Cougar Kittens advanced to finals instead of Jungle_Boogie who would've needed a win to get the finals spot. Real surprising result here and reporters have been frantically trying to find out if any of the Kittens players had "entertained" league officials last week but nobody has managed to dig up any dirt on them! So the final match will see Cougar Kittens hosting NattBowlarna! This will be the third time these two teams meet. NattBowlarna have taken 2-0 victories both times so they should be favoured heavily! Of course, the undead will be missing their star wight Anders Angersson and also a rookie zombie who nobody cares about. Kittens have all of their 15 players up and ready to play. What's the word on the street on this match Nippy?
- Well... Dad said that we should really go see the match but mom won't let us because she suspects dad just wants to leer at the Kittens... So mom said she hopes the harlots get the beating they deserve... Dad didn't say anything because mom was holding a rolling pin at the moment... But my grandpa said that he saw all of the NattBowlarna players play when they still were alive and that they're just as good as they were then and maybe even fitter because they don't seem to have any fat on them... Grandpa hasn't seen the Kittens play as they won't allow their games to be shown in the old geezers home....
- Yes that's true. First time they showed a Kittens game in that retirement home in Heavenly Willows, there were heart attacks all around and mortality rate shot of the charts. And then were of course the strike of nurses following week because the surviving geezers had their vitality return to them and were harassing the nurses like it was their last day on earth... Which it probably was for some of them. Anyways, from that on, Cougar Kittens' games have not been shown in any institutions. But enough of that. So it seems that everybody thinks NattBowlarna will finally take the title?
- ...mmm.... Yeah, probably... But my pal Whizzy-Pissy said that Kittens are hotter than hell on a hot stove... And that he hopes they win because then they'll probably get drunk and flash some pus...
- AHEM! Yes, yes, some support for Cougar Kittens then. Well, we'll have to wait and see who takes the championship! We'll probably return next week with a live report from the game. I've been Gron Grumbundy! Have a week!
-...bye...


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[JerXou]

Absolute spiffy writing as expected :) Good job :P

[Mr B]

Yupp..  ;D
Totally enjoy all your deliveries!
/B

[Barmution]

Wow, these writeups are really inspired. Always a great read, J :D