Blood Sports Spotlight - The Weekly League News and Speculations

[J-Reedy]

WEEK 1 SPECULATIONS

- Welcome to the first ever magicast of Blood Sports Spotlight, the best place to get inside information about the Norsca Union League! I'm your host Gron Grumbundy and today I'm joined by the professor Widdleweeny, the most noted expert on the Norsca Union League or NUL as we like to call it. Welcome to the show professor Widdleweeny!
- Thank you Gron. Looking at the lea...
- You're welcome professor. Now, as you may already know, NUL has been split into two divisions for the fourth season. The six more experienced teams battle it out in Valhalla Cup for the league championship and then there are the six rookie teams fighting for chance to play in the major league in Ull's Pasture.
- That's r...
- What we will have is surely an exciting season! Let's start with the rookie teams professor. Could you give us a short rundown of the teams playing in Ull's Pasture?
- Well, first...
- Looking at the team list it looks like a mix of brutality mixed with a bit of dexterity to me! Two elf teams I see, the high elf team Virgins No More and the dark elf team Roma Victorious. What's your take on them professor?
- Traditionally the high elfs are really good at...
- Mighty fine passers they are the, the Helfs I mean. But looking at the team roster for the Virgins No More I see no thrower there. No big deal to me, any one of those high'n'mighty elves will make a better passer than your average human. The team catcher Idhrengolion Tahtron will surely be the main target for the passes. What about the dark elf team professor?
- Well, the dark elfs are a bit more violent th...
- A bit! Bloodthirsty killers and dexterious as hell all of them! The team rooster for the Roma Victorious looks a bit risky but boy do they have hitting power! Four blitzers! And I must note that one of their blitzers is none other than Titus Pullo, the famous soldier and once-a-gladiator! Never have I seen such a fight as the one where he fought against the veteran gladiators due to a death sentence passed to him! He could make a fine bloodbowler!
- He certainly...
- But the elfs won't have it easy in their first game! Both of the elf teams are playing against undead teams. Virgins No More will visit the pure undead team Last Steps. Whats the word on the street about the Last Steps professor?
- They look to be...
- Bashy as bashy can be is the word. Tutmose and Ramtu will of course be the force to be reckoned with at the line of scrimmage. You know what they say about playing on the line of scrimmage professor?
- I must confess that...
- Don't go crying for mommy or the mummy will find you! HAHAHAAA! Oldie but goldie. Tough match for the high elfs but I hear that they have hired the guy who coached the necromantic Silver Hunters to the championship last season as they team coach! So don't go underestimating them! OK, delf team Roma Victorus on the other hand will go against necromancing team Necro Norvegicus. Anything noteworthy about the necros professor?
- Only one...
- Looks like they might be starting the season with only one werewolf, Henrik Rip-Zen. I think he's from Djukkehem or some place that sounds like that. Should be force to be reckoned with, I can't wait for him and Titus Pullo to bash it out. Well, thats the elfs and undeads! What do we have left professor?
- Liz...
- Den of Dragons, the rookie lizardmen team, seems to be hosting the orc team Lotsa Stompin'. This should be an interesting match. What do you think professor?
- Lots of strength...
- Yes there is indeed professor! The Lotsa Stompin' have of cource a full line-up of Black Orc Blitzers or Bobs as I like to call them. My personal favourite is of course the promising rookie simply known as The Tank! Is there anybody on the Den of Dragons who might challenge this BOB line?
- Naturally the liza...
- Of course they have! The lizards are the only teams that can fill the front line with some real muscle power! Five Sauruses led by the Kroxigor Thin Lizzie is a force to be reckoned with. And those skins are agile as anybody out there. No way to know which one them will emerge as star player!
- They ar...
- And that's it for the Ull's Pasture. To recap, it looks to be bash heavy, only two teams with enough natural talent to handle the ball effortlesly. Lizardmen are an interesting mix of bashy and quick, necros and undead will always do good in the long run and orcs are one of the more balanced teams with a natural violent streak in them. We'll have to wait and see the results from the first matches!
- And now to the big boys. There are two teams on the Valhalla Cup division that really stand out, am I right professor?
- Well, one cou..
- The two time former champions Jungle_boogie from the amazon and the undead Nattbowlarna who have always battled for the top spots! They really are the teams to beat this season and I wouldn't be surprised if they were the two teams we'll see in the finals this year! The second match week will be foretelling as that is the week these two teams will go against each other! Your opinion on these juggernauts professor?
- Interestingly...
- The Nattbowlarna seem the have two of their skill players with niggling injuries that limit their agility, the wight Anders Angersson and the ghoul Donny Dong. That could be problematic but they still have more than enough bashing power to cover for the lack of agility! And it looks like bashing power is that what they'll need as the Nattbowlarna are going against the khemri team Staffan's Hooligang on the first round!
- Yes, the Hooligan...
- Hooligang surpisingly lost on their tomb guardians last season when playing against the rookie amazon team but looks like they have dig up some fresh meat to cover the line, namely the tomb guardian Ami Asetru. Promises to be an interesting match for all of you fans who enjoy bashy play with an easy pace! But that's enough about the undeads, let's move into more interesting teams, namely the lushous matchup between the amazonian teams.
- Yes, the Cougar Kittens and Jungle_boogie are..
- This will the the third time that the last years upset  team Cougar Kittens go against the mighty Jungle_boogie. They last met at the semifinals where the Boogiers dominated the Kittens. Do the Kittens have any realistic chance this time professor?
- There are some inj...
- Oh, right you are, looks like that two blitzers of the Jungle_boogie are down and out for this game! But I don't see that helping the Kittens. Only chance for them is if their veteran catcher Kristin Lang can establish herself as an emerging star and score a TD or two for the Kittens. But nevertheless, this is the game for all you fans who enjoy seeing sweaty semi-naked ladies wrestling for the pig-bladder!
- ....
- AND the third match in the Valhall Cup will feature the human team Other Brothers who travel to the skaven team Flying Boom Bats BK's stadium. Looks like the Boom Bats have finally recovered from injury spiral they got into last season. Only one player with a niggling injury, otherwise the team looks fast and furious! The Other Brothers on the other hand balanced, not surprising as they are a human team. Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing how the brotherly tandem of the thrower Akseli Koskela and catcher Akusti Koskela will function. Any word on this matchup professor?
- Certainly an interesting...
- Sorry to interrupt you professor but it seams we have ran out of time! Tune in later this week when we recap all the matches of the first week! I'm Gron Grumbundy wishing you bloody good blood bowling week! Have a week!

[Mr B]

hehe, lovely reading  ;D ;) 8)

[The Golden Arrow]

Wonderful :)

[Rotty]

Love this :D Great Job Reedy  8)

[J-Reedy]

WEEK 1 RESULTS REVIEW & WEEK 2 SPECULATIONS

- Welcome ya all once again to your favourite magicast Blood Sports Spotlight where we discuss all things Norsca Union League or NUL, as we like to call this magnificant league! I'm Gron Grumbundy and with me today in studio to analyze the week 1 match results and to take a look to the second week is none other than the famous B League running back All "Touchdown" Brandy! Welcome to the show Touchdown!
- Thanks Gron. Just to make sure that everybody knows how I made my nickname, I'll let everyone know that I once scored four touchdowns in a single game! It was late fall and we were playing against the...
- All the Week 1 matches have now been played in Valhalla Cup and Ull's Pasture is only one match short due to unfortunate health issues with the dark elf team Roma Victorius. All of us wish a speedy recovery to the team and it's coach, our thoughts are with you. But the game must go on and now it's time to take a look at the results from the first week. Any surprises there Touchdown?
- ..."Spare Tire" Nixon was coming towards me at full speed. Just as he was about to hit me, I hunched down and leaped over him! While I was airborne, I kicked his helmet for some extra forward momentum and saw his neck snap like a...
- Ok... Lovely analysis there Touchdown... Well, nothing really upsetting at Valhalla Cup. However, the 1-1 draw between the amazonian teams Jungle_Boogie and Cougar Kittens could be considered a bit of a surprise, as there is quite a significant gap between the two teams player material. To my understanding the Jungle_Boogie were closer to victory and only a last second slip-up on a turf moistened by blood prevented the Jungle_Boogie getting a well deserved win. There was also one death in the match, Cougar Kittens lost their best receiver to the advances of the avid crowd. Unfortunate but violence is part of the game of Blood Bowl, there's no denying that! Am I right or am I absolutely right Touchdown?
- ...I felt how my back tooth came loose and I spat it out to his face. It went through like a sharp axe through a soft goblin skull and he started screaming like a little girl and let go of me to cover his eye with his hands so naturally I hit...
- Right I am! And the first round of Valhalla Cup really was violent! The death of the amazonian receiver was not the only permanent casualty we got to witness. The match between the skaven Flying Boom Bats BK and human Other Brothers prooved to be real blood bath! Skavens won the match 2-1 but the real news is the duo of deaths that the Other Brothers suffered! One of the players they lost was their star receiver Akusti Koskela who I had high hopes for! And we've also had some reports that there were quite a big number of dwarfs in the crowd which might explain the Other Brothers Ogre was targeted by serious barrage of rocks from the crowd. A real meatgrinder for the Other Brothers and a flaming success for the Boom Bats! Sometimes the Death just seems to fancy some teams. Do you have any experience on this Touchdown?
- ...the throw was bad and the ball was sailing towards the sideline and the crowd. I went off like a lightning bolt, covered 10 yards in a split second and leaped straight up just at the sideline and caught the ball just as it was about to go over the sideline! While still up in the air I noticed a minotaur was lumbering towards...
- .... In the third match of Valhalla Cup there were no worries about deaths as both teams had rosters full of players who've already been dead for ages. I'm of course talking about the match between the undead Nattbowlarna and the Khemri Staffan's Hooligang. All the reports tell us that it was a real tight match with Nattbowlarna snatching a 1-0 victory with a solitary touchdown scored at the final minutes of the match.  Interestingly the coach of the Hooligang was seen arguing with a man dressed in a pointy hat - not a good idea to do in general in my experience - right after the match. There are rumours about on some kind of significant financial arrangement that was made between this pointy hatted, long bearded and wand carrying gentleman and certain Khemri team. According the rumours the certain Khemri team is not very pleased and they feel that this gentleman famialiar in certain arcane knowledge has not filled his obligations... Anyways, those were the matches in Valhalla Cup's first round. After first week the Nattbowlarna and Flying Boom Bats BK are on the top of standings with 3 points each, Jungle_Boogie and Cougar Kittens have 1 point each and Staffan's Hooligang and Other Brothers are still waiting for their fist points. Any comments about the standings Touchdown?
- ...suddenly out of nowhere this giant fireball struck me right smack into chest! All of my team-mates about me went down like ragdolls but there was no stopping All "Touchdown" Brandy in the match where I scored four...
- _{Can't somedoby shut him up? He's been going on about that stupid B league match all night and.. What? I'm on air?} YES, VERY INTERESTING TOUCHDOWN! Now, lets look at the two matches that have been played in Ull's Pasture! In the opening match the lizard team Den of Dragons hosted the orc team Lotsa Stompin'! And there indeed was stompin involved! Dragons' Kroxigor Thin Lizzie started his carrier strongly by scoring a casualty. The fact that the casualty was also a clean kill also earned him the MVP honor of the match! The orcs were no worse in the physical game, their blitzer Juggla Joe scored two casualties and with blitzer Kool Zlaab adding another casualty the Lotsa Stompin' won the casualties 3 to 1! Oh, the touchdowns were tied 2-2 but who cares about that? Do you understand folks that we've already had 4 reported deaths in the NUL this season! This is stacking up to be quite a season I say! What say you Touchdown or do I dare ask?
- ...and then she ripped his guts out and threw them to the minotaur who gave out a giant roaarr, almost as loud as the crowds cheers when I scored my second...
- That's what I thought! Right you are Touchdown! OK, the second match in Ull's Pastures was between the high elf team Virgins No More and the undead team Last Steps. I have to say that if somebody had told me before the season that after the first match an undead team would dominate passing and receiving stats in a division where there is a a high elf team playing, I would've called them crazy like All "TD" Brandy! But that is happening right now! Last Steps' ghoul duo of Pebblegnawer and Wormflayer are leading the passes received and passes completed stat categories with 2 passes and 2 catches! What's not surprising is that the Last Steps won the casualties 4 to nil. Also, Virgins No More's blitzer Vera... Veryr... Veryarthh... - let's just call him Verdy! - and lineman Nimn... Nimpheny... - Nimpy! - will miss the team's next game due to injuries which will leave the high elf team undermanned but I'm sure they'll manage to recruit some freebooters if nothing else. The Virgins No More however managed to win this game, 1-0, and lead the table in Ull's Pasture.
- That's all about the results for now. Next we'll take a look at the matchups of the second week! Let's start with Ull's Pasture! Anything interesting there Touchdown?
- ...I hit 'im in the neck, biting at his ear at the same time and this other guy was hanging on my back trying to choke me and the freaking ref only stood there fondling his bal...
- GRHMMM! Yes, the second match week will see Den of Dragons go against Last Steps, Roma Victorious will host Lotsa Stompin' and Necro Norvegicus will visit Virgins No More. Hard to say anything about these matchups with the first match week still being unsettled, but I'd think that Last Steps will have some serious difficulties keeping up with the pace of those lightning fast skinks! Fortunately they have their duo of mummies to match and top the strength of the Sauruses. The Den of Dragons will also only be able to field 3 Sauruses as Lizzie Sizzler suffered a broken neck against the Lotsa Stompin' last week! Roma Victorius will hopefully recover soon to take the field. Lotsa Stompin' will be tough opponent on the second round. They did lose one of their players in first match, but they do have enough money to fill their roster with some fresh green meany! Virgins No More have a tough opening schedule, they'll face another undeady team, Necro Norvegicus, on the second round. Always hard to predict if it'll be the fast and dangerous werewolves or the slumbering zombies that'll decide the game for necros! An interesting second week ahead of us. Anything to add Touchdown?
- ...I swear I had him but then I happened to glance at the sidelines where this redheaded cheerleader with really really big kno...
- Yeeees, we all like cheerleaders. Let's then take a look at the second week of the Valhalla Cup, shall we! The most interesting matchup of course is the duel between the most experienced teams NattBowlarna and Jungle_Boogie. The undead will be one player short, the zombie Ragnar Rivjärn, famously one of the dirtiest players - and I'm not talking about hygiene here - will sit out this game with an injury. Jungle_Boogie will take the field with a full roster of 16 players. I'm sure those extra players will come in handy if the duo of Kling and Klang get their hymn of doom harmonized. Anything can happen in this game! Can't wait for this match, how about you Touchdown!?
- ...and she told me she was a virgin as surely as she loved to cook and clean and being the fool that I am I believed her. Can't trust readheads I say, remember this kids! But back to the game, with three touchdowns and more than 300 yards under my belt we kicked off for the fourth time and them somebody threw a rock from...
- In the two other matches Other Brothers will go against Staffan's Hooligang and the Flying Boom Bats Ball Klubben will travel to Cougar Kittens' brand new Lusty Puma stadium. The skaven Boom Bats are notorious for being prone to taking heavy beatings from amazonian teams, it'll be interesting to see if they manage break this habit this time. Other Brothers are seriously undermanned due to series of deaths suffered against Flying Boom Bats and, as they'll have to play Khemri team, the game could prove to be seriously painful for them! That's the preview of the second week of Valhalla Cup! We'll be back at the end of the week to recap all the games! We'll let you have the final word Touchdown! I've been Gron Grumbundy and I wish you bloody good blood bowling week!
- ...Spare Tire had returned to the game and he was the only thing standing between me and my fourth touchdown. He grunted, beat his chest and urged me to go for it. We locked eyes and stood there for a second. Seemed like a year - two gladiators sizing up each other - and then I exploded down the field! I stuck out my arm and he turned sideways, ready to take the blow with his shoulderpads. We collided in a giant crash and went down right at the goal line! I extended my other arm and slammed the ball down to the endzone! Touchdown! My fourth in the game, the one that one us the game. The crow eerupted and the cheerl...

[J-Reedy]

WEEK 2 RESULTS REVIEW & WEEK 3 SPECULATIONS

- We welcome you all who are still living - far from death's hall for which you should be thanks giving.
- Be not afraid dear fans! You're tuned into right station, this is your favourite magicast Blood Sports Spotlight where we discuss all things Norsca Union League! I'm Gron Grumbundy and the voice you just heard belongs to our special guest for this week. He is none other than the now retired assassin extra-ordinaire of the dark elf team Pungus Diabolo, the poet of death, master of the blade and slayer of souls,  TEDLY BUGGER! Welcome to the show Tedly!
- Thank you Gron for the intruduction so kind, but I must correct you - if you don't mind - for we assassins never retire for we are always available for hire.
- Really? You know I do have this kind of an annoying... Well, let's talk later after the show. Yes! Time to take a look at the results from the second week of the NUL! The reason we invided Tedly to our studio is of course the just ridicilous amount of spectacular play we have seen this week! Dear listeners, I know you know what makes a good blood bowl match, but just to make sure, I'll get a confirmation from our respected guest. Tedly, in your opinion, what a makes a blood bowl match truly spectacular?
- Why Gron don't you know, a match really isn't worth squawking, if there don't come a blow that gets the death stalking! Corpses, cadevours and dead are things every match should imbed!
- How poetically put Tedly and I couldn't agree more! It just a isn't blood bowl if we don't see a death or two in occasion! And boy did we see deaths in this round of the NUL! Let's start with the match where two players were grounded so hard that they were put into ground soon after the match. I'm of course talking about the opening match of Valhalla Cup's second round, the game where amazonian Cougar Kittens hosted the skaven Flying Boom Bats BK and where Kittens' linewoman Christina made herself a fan favourite over night by being responsible for the demise of two skaven players! What's your take on this young bloodthirsty linewoman Tedly?
- I must admit she's a beauty, with a lovely soft bootie and capable of doing death's duty!
- In case anyone's interested in the touchdowns, Cougar Kittens edged out a 2-1 victory over the skavens and the match was reported to be really tight. Disappointingly the other two Valhalla Cup's matches from the second week produced no new corpses but I guess we must mention them before moving to games in Ull's Pasture where we saw some real action! Beforehand the most anticipated match was thought to be Jungle_Boogie versus Nightbowlarna, clash of the veteran amazon and undead teams. Polls taken after the match show that some 33 thousand spectators were not disappointed, as they gave the match a really high rating, even though the end result was a 1 all tie. Maybe the five casualties that Jungle_Boogie suffered livened up the game. Any thoughts on this match or these teams Tedly?
- When the once dead walk again you would be better of running for all you need is half a brain to know they don't go for cunning! They just bash and smash until all your hopes crash. The jungle gals always boogie fine when there's fame and success on the line!
- That's them teams in a nutshell, you really nailed it there Tedly! OK, the third and final match in the Valhalla Cup was between the human Other Brothers and Khemri Staffans Hooligang. As I hinted earlier, there were no deaths here, but boy was the match violent! The Khemri suffered four casualties against the five of the humas. That's nine total casualties folks! Hooligang naturally were not really affected by the casualties due to their natural regeneration abilities but the Other Brothers were really hurt. Their ogre Veli Ponteva will miss the next game along with another brother. Staffans Hooligang won also the touchdown contest, this time all that was needed to steal the game was one scoring play. Tedly, any thoughts on Valhalla Cup before move onto Ull's Pasture?
- It's the field of dreams and place of glory but there are also screams and stories very gory.
- You really are the poet of death Tedly, I couldn't have put that better myself. As promised, now it's time for Ull's Pasture week 2 recap. And what a week we had! There were touchdowns, there was suspense, there was drama and what's most important, there were fresh corpses a plenty! Let's start with the match with the most corpses on the field. That would of course be the match between the undead Last Steps and lizardmen team Den of Dragons. This time the corpses won the day by scoring 2 touchdowns against 1 of the Dragons. Last Steps' mummy Ramtu the First also made the play of the day by scoring a clean kill! I have to mention the rumours that are flying around about this match, some loose tongues claim that heavenly forces were in play in this match, namely the god of misfortune and chaos has been said to given his "blessings" to the lizards. Do you have any experiences about godly forces in the field of blood bowl Tedly?
- Once from the corner of my eye, I could swear I saw an angel of light. But when my knife made my victim cry, the winged one must've taken flight. For when my weapon digged deeper, one who came forth was the reaper.
- Grimly tale there Tedly! Well, in the second match Necro Norvegicus hosted Virgins No More and death was in the air also in this match! This time the victim came from the necromantic team Necro Norvegicus and the player responsible for this permanent casualty was the high elven Eitimonion Tahtron! But the high elfs didn't have it easy, Meldiraan Aldaloth suffered such a serious injury that it is rumoured he'll loose some of his strength permanently! Both teams scored one touchdown, so the match naturally ended in a tie. A tight game I understand! As was the third match between the dark elf team Roma Victorius and the orc representative Lotsa Stompin'. In this matchup the delfs were the once to suffer from the grim reaper's visit. Roma Victorius also suffered a serious injury that'll leave the team with only 9 players able to take the field in the third week! Tough and unlucky start for the dark folk. Not so for the orcs! They won the match with one scored touchdown and now share the lead of the division with the Virgins No More.
- OK, now it's time to take a quick look at the third week of NUL! What's your take on the matchups Tedly?
- I see blood sisters hosting the brothers, jungle women fighting zombies and others, rats running around the graveless, two once deads playing chess, green wave meet the helmets with fins and the scaled ones go against the dark skins.
- Yes, that's right! In Ull's Pasture it'll be Necro Norvegicus hosting Last Steps, Lotsa Stompin' get a visit from Virgins No More and Den of Dragons will be visited by Roma Victorius. The all undead match between the necros and undead promises to be the most bashy of the matches, although I have to say that the Last Steps have a couple really promising skill players. Their wight Steffan the Tyrant has developed his speed to an extent that he is said to be as fast on the track as the team's ghouls! And the ghoul Pebblegnawer is really looking good, he has already racked up 2 touchdowns and an interception! But the Necro Norvegivus can throw in an interesting mix of skill and force. Maybe the best examples of this are their wight Amalie Skrammel and werewolf Rip-Zen who both have a touchdown and a casualty under their belts!
- May the ghouls run afoul while the wolfs howl!
- Yes, that just might happen! As earlier noted, Roma Victorius will be two players short so they'll have to go freebooting againts the Den of Dragons. Luckily for the dark elfs the lizards are also short of players, kroxigor Thin Lizzie and saurus Scarzzz will have to sit out the match due to injuries. This match could go any way! Dragons have the power of the Sauruses and quickness of the skinks while elfs will go to battle with their natural agility. On the dark elf's side lots will be on the shoulders of the elven blitzer Titus Pullo, who is quickly developing into a fine veteran player. Only time will tell whether it'll be agility or stuntiness that wins the day! The other elven team Virgins No More will also have to start with one freebooter on their team. Lotsa Stompin' have no such troubles, they have just enough green skins to field a full team. This promises to be the match of the week in the Ull's Pasture, as these are the two top teams sharing the lead in divion standings with 4 points each. Elfs should have a good chance if they manage to dodge away and stay out of reach of Juggla Joe, the casualty king of the Stompin'. Orcs will naturally go looking for a physical game but they should do well to remember that it's the more durable high elfs they're playing, not the softy woody elfs!
- While the orcs bash and cage - hardly containing their rage - the elfs will run and throw, that you should know.
- Right you are Tedly! Thats all from Ull's Pasture, time to move onto veterans teams playing in the Valhalla Cup. There we'll have the all human match between the amazonian Cougar Kittens and the all-human Other Brothers. Brothers have taken lots of beating in their first two matches and will be missing their muscle,  Veli Ponteva. Kittens will also have absentees, as two lineharlots will be recovering from injuries suffered against the Boom Bats. This should be an even matchup and lots will depend on who will get the advantage of numbers. On to the third human team, amazonian Jungle_Boogie, who will make a trip to Khemri to play Staffans Hooligang. This will be a classic test of power against skill. Khemri teams are traditionally considered lacking in speed and agility but boy do they have power! If the Hooligang's tomb guardians manage to keep the Boogiers dodging away and succeed in braking the amazons' scantly armor, we could get a surpise here! Jungle_Boogie are maybe the most skilled team in the league with enough veterans for every spot on the field.  
- How about the night bowlers and the ones with tails, those lightning fast strollers against the bringers of agony and wails?
- Well Tedly, I think that the Flying Boom Bats BK will have a hard day's night ahead of them. But do you want to know a secret? Nightbowlarna can't just let it be some hippy hippy shake game or they'll end up crying, waiting, hoping and watching as the rats fly past them! Skaven are fast and I bet they'll have some extra incentives to do well! Ok, as it now seems that we're fast running out of time, I'll let our esteemed guest have the final word! I've been Gron Grumbundy and I wish you bloody good blood bowling week! Take it away Tedly!
- On the field of green, lined with chalk so white, they play a game quite mean, but oh' so fit for a knight! It's the favourite of reaper so grim for there he gets to take lives in a whim. Remember you this one thing, be you a beggar or a king, there is only one game fit for gods themselves, the game played both by orcs and elves, the game of blood and guts, of slashes, blocks and cuts. Blood and Bowl.

[Mr B]

Fantastic as always!
:D

[The Golden Arrow]

Yeah, great work :)

[Rotty]

Really do love this, you're spoling us with all this nice BB fluff  :D

[Barmution]

Excellent writing, sir!

Looking forward to see what sordid tale your bardic skills can conjure out of JerXou massacring my Necros in MD3  ;D

[J-Reedy]

WEEK 3 RESULTS REVIEW & WEEK 4 SPECULATIONS

- Welcome ya all once again to Blood Sports Spotlight magicast - the best place to get information about Norsca Union League or NUL, as we like to call this magnificant league! I'm Gron Grumbundy and today I'm joined by a guest representing the fairer side of blood bowl. In my opinion too little attention is been given to those lovely women who lead the crowd chants and inspire players to magnificant feats, the cheerleaders! That's why we've asked the cheerleader of the year, elected by players and popular vote, to join us and give us the feminine perspective of the game. Welcome to the show, Brandy Hooters... sorry Brandy Hoosterson!
- Why thank you Gron! It's just fancy nice being here today, I'm sure we'll have a nice time because I just loooove blood bowl and talking about it!
- You're really welcome Brandy. And don't be afraid to sit closer if you get cold, I know that this studio can be a bit cold sometimes. OK, let's get down to business!
- You mean right now Gron? I thought we were going to talk about NUL first before doing the hank...
- YES BRANDY! Right now we shall get down to BUSINESS OF TALKING ABOUT NUL! Ahem, yes, let's see what's first on the breas... board. Yes, I think we should start from the top and head on down...
- You know, normally guys want me to go down first, but whatever you say Gron!
- ....yes... Onwards! About Valhalla Cup. There were some games played. In the Valhalla Cup... Before we continue, I just have to know this Brandy... That's quite a nice blouse you got there, but isn't it a bit tight and how in heavens can those buttons hold up?
- Oh Thanks Gron! You know, I got this from my fan club, I really like it, only problem is that it goes all see-through when I get sweaty so I can't use it anywhere hot. But...
- COULD WE GET THE TEMPERATURE ADJUSTED, IT'S FREEZING IN HERE! Sorry, go ahead Brandy.
- You know, the buttons were bit of the problem at first, I used to loose a lot of them when I inhaled, but then that nice student of wizardy mr. Putter fixed those with an enchantment. He's a real swell guy also, I met him at Cougar Kittens' match last year, he really likes that team and spends a lot of time with them but somehow he also found time to help me when my blouse once again popped during the pre-match cheering session.
- I bet he did... Ahem, yes. Let's get on with the business... of talking about NUL that is. Let's start with the amazonian Cougar Kittens as you brought them up. They beat the human team Other Brothers 2-0 in an exciting match that reported to be a lot closer than the numbers suggest. It's just that the Other Brothers had too many injuries going into match and they simply got out-womaned in the end. Maybe we should mention that the Kittens' Lana Kreuk scored an interception in the garbage time, quite a rare feat. The Other Brothers seem to have trouble keeping their fourth blitzer on the field. Their two previous fourth ranked blitzers have been... shall we say disposed of in previous game and their replacement Veli Punapaita also got hurt early in this game was forced to sit out the game. Any oppinions about this game Brandy?
- You know, it's really funny but somehow it's not the same to cheer in games where there are amazon teams playing. The crowds just don't seem to be able to concentrate in those games. They keep on following the game and the players and really pay less attention to us cheerleaders. I don't know why that is but that's not very nice in my opinion.
- Ohkay... Yes in that case you probably won't be interested in the second match we'll talk about, namely the clash of khemri Staffans Hooligang versus amazonian Jungle_Boogie. The amazon teams had identical results as Jungle_Boogie also got a two-nil victory. The Khemris had hard day with handling the ball, they only managed to get 8 yards of running. Surprisingly the undeads also lost the casualties, 2 for Hooligang and 4 for the amazons. How about this match, any special insights Brandy?
- You know, I just looooove undead teams! Those necromancer coaches just seem so powerful and mystic! I always try to sign up for undead teams matches when there's a chance! This week I was scheduled to cheer for the Nightbowlarna but then they had to cancel the match so I was reassigned to Ull's Pasture game...
- Yes, let's go ahead and talk about the Ull's Pasture just a minute but before that, I understand you were going to travel to Nattbowlarna stadium on the same portal trip with the skaven Flying Boom Bats BK. Do you have any idea why the trip had to be canceled and the league was force to rule the Nattbowlarna versus Boom Bats match a 1-1 tie?
- You know, I really don't have a clue! This was the first time I was going to travel by the portals, normally I fly with the Drake Air or take a coach but now our cheering team was running late so they decided we could portal out with that rat team. It was raining that day and I don't like the smell of wet fur and I was a bit nervous about traveling through a portal, so when we got to the portal temple I went to the portal operator's room to see how it all worked and also to get away those smelly skaven folks. They were really nice to be but when I got back to the portal they just said that all the portals had fizzled and they would need at least a day to get them working again!
- I see... I remember hearing that the portal operators are wizards who keep the portals up by their willpower and forceful distractions can sometimes break the portal links that take days to link up. You wouldn't happened to have worn that same blouse... COULD WE GET TEMPERATURE UP, IT'S STILL QUITE CHILLY IN HERE... worn that same blouse that day Brandy?
- You know I think I did! But only when we got there. It was raining like really hard that day and I was really soaked when we got to the temple and I had to change my clothes. The operators were really nice and let me do it there so I didn't have to go to the loo to do it. I really hate the loos in public places. Don't you think they're nasty?
- Yes indeed. And seems we might have an answer to the mystery of the 1-1 game. OK, let's move on to Ull's Pasture recap and let's start with the match where you were cheering. That would be the all undead affair Necro Norvegicus against Last Steps. 0-2 victory for the Last Steps but the real news is the 0-5 casualty score for the Last Steps and the 2 deaths that the Necro Norvegicus suffered. Ramtu the First and Steffan the Tyrant scored the kills. You were there Brandy, any idea what happened and why the Norvegicus necromancer failed to regenerate the two players?
- You know I was really down when the Nattbowlarna match got canceled. But then I heard that we would go on this match I got really really excited! Two undead teams! That meant two necromancers! It was really good game! The crowd was really concentrated and kept following all of our cheers! I was really happy and then I even got to talking with that really nice and handsom and mysterious necromancer coach of the Necro Norvegivus and he let me into their dugout but it was really small and the benches were really hard but the necromancer was so nice that he let me sit on his lap so I wouldn't get chilly on those nasty stone benches! I was so happy and I think this was the best game of the season so far!
- And you naturally wore that same blouse and were a bit out-of-breath...your chest heaving up and down rythmically just like now...ahem... so out-of-breath and sweaty from all that cheering in that same blouse I assume?
- You know you're really smart Gron! That's just what happened, I was so tired because I was cheering so hard that that's why I went to ask the Norvegicus team if I could rest my feet!
- Yes yes, seems you're really a gal that gets around and gets things moving Brandy! The second match in Ull's Pasture that we have a result on is the game where Lotsa Stompin' hosted Virgins No More. Orcs versus high elfs that is. Tight game by all accounts and a real crowd favourite. The Virgins No More edged out a 1-2 win but lost their catcher Tathron for the next game. Lotsa Stompin' are really showing us some nice aerial game, they managed to get 3 receptions when the helfs only got 1! The difference is of course that the high elfs' one throw raked up more yards than the orcs three passes combined.
- You know, I really don't know why the orcs always go with the green. I'm all for body-painting but I think green is so unflattering on anyone. You know Gron, I'm getting a bit hot here, I think the heat is fine now.
- YOU HEARD THE LADY, THE HEAT IS FINE, DO NOT GO NOT ADJUSTING IT UP SO THAT SHE GETS ALL SWEATY AND SEE-THROUGH IN THAT BLOUSE! YES, THAT'S A DOUBLE NEGATIVE, JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! Yes, quite an insight there into the orcs. The green thing might have something to with the tradition and genetics but let us not bother us with that. The third match in Ull's Pasture is in limbo at the moment and we don't know the results until our reporter from the 17th dimensions gets back. So let's move on and take look at the week 4 matchups. Ull's Pasture first. The games will be Last Steps versus Roma Victorius, Den of Dragons against Virgins No More and finally Lotsa Stompin' hosting Necro Norvegicus. Where would you like to start Brandy?
- You know, I think that Necro Norvegicus' necromances is just dreamy! Let's talk about him. He has these really tight and round...
- AHEM, well yes, let's take a closer look at the orcs versus necromantics then. Lotsa Stompin' are still fighting for the top spots in the division and as they have their last match against the current second place holder Last Steps, the orcs will probably go all out in this match to get a win. Their blitzer Brokk Angrytoof is bound to give a lot trouble for the necro ballcarriers. The necromantic team really suffered from the loss of their two positional players and will have to go freebooting in this game, so it'll be tough one for the Necro Norvegicus. But they did just capture... I mean sign their second werewolf Wenche Flesh and I'm hearing rumours that there might be even some magical things happening in this game and this could be really tight game and I wouldn't go betting on this game even if my life depended on it.
- You know, the Norvegicus head coach is like really nice also and he got me dugout-tickets to go to this match so I could report the game for you next week! I may even get to draw up some plays!
- ... In conclusion, my advice to all you gamlers out there, bet heavily on the Lotsa Stompin'! As mentioned, the second match of the week will be the lizardly Den of Dragons against the current top team Virgins No More. Dragons should get their power players Thin Lizzie and Scarzzz back into their lineup and Virgins will have to rely on one freebooter, so the match seems pretty even. Lot will depend on the dodging talents of the high elfs and on the stuntiness of the skinks. If the Virgins No More manage to get the ball over or through the Sauruses, I don't see the skinks giving them much trouble in defence. On offence the roles will of course be reversed and skinks can get some surpsiringly dangerous running combos going. Bound to be an exciting match!
- You know, I think that I know the Virgins No More team, I think they were in the same season ending party last year as our cheering team! But I think they had different name back then, don't know why they changed it.... But they were really nice and handsome and we had really fun!
- ...another mystery regarding the high elf team's name solved, it seems... Yes, the last match in Ull's Pasture in week 4 will feature the undead Last Steps and the dark elven Roma Victorius. Hard to tell about this game with last week's results still being limboed but the Last Steps are quickly developing into quite a fearsome force. And as they also a got a surprise reinforcement from the Necro Norvegicus match in the form of the new skeleton player Edward Munch the Screamer, they'll have plenty of bodies - pun intented - to put on the field. It'll be a tough task for the dark elfs to secure some points from this matchup, that's for sure. Anything to add before we move onto Valhalla Cup Brandy? Brandy... you know, that's such a lovely name...
- You know, I used to think Ull's Pasture was really boring before I knew how many necromancer coaches there were. But I still think that Valhalla Cup is more exciting because more people come to see us cheer!
- Some illusioned individuals might say that most of the crowds come to see the the game, but I'm sure you're right, being such a talented and wise young woman!
- Thanks Gron! Who will the undead teams play in Valhalla Cup? I think might ask to be scheduled into cheering in of those games.
- Well, NattBowlarna will host the Cougar Kittens and Staffans Hooligang will get a visit from the Flying Boom Bats BK!
- Oh, Kittens.. that's that prettier amazon team... I think I might ask for a spot on the Hooligang game!
- So let's talk about that then! The unintentional bye week really helped the Boom Bats, as they managed to get their game back together after the violent Kittens game. Powerwise Ratatosk the rat ogre will have hard day's night ahead of him trying to keep those tomb guardians at bay but on the ball handling side of things it's the skavens that have the advantage. Hard to tell about these kind of matchups, if the undead get the casualty factory running there'll be lots of rat pie available for the crowds but, on the other hand, if the skavens get the things running, there's no one fast enough on the Khemri team to stop the little buggers.
- Thee-hee! You know, you're really smart Gron! I think that was really funny!
- Thank you Brandy! Here, let me wipe that sweat from your forehead... Sorry, stumbled there a bit, hope you don't mind...
- Thee-hee! Tickles!
- Yes, yes...really nice... Really firm and... ONWARDS! The other undead team NattBowlarna will host Cougar Kittens in a match that could either make a playoff picture lot clearer or blur it into a tangled web of what ifs! Victory for the Kittens would guarantee them a place on the playoffs but that seems a highly unlikely result. NattBowlarna are chock-full of talent and skills so the Kittens will have little help from their natural abilities to dodge away from the men trying to hit on them. The mummy duo of Kling and Klang Karlsson have been very succesful in their appearances this seasons and have recorded lots of hits. Kittens may get help from their long-time friend and star-player Zara the Slayer who really doesn't like undead teams and has in past readily agreed to bulk up the Kittens ranks when they play against any once-deads.
- You know Gron, it's really hot here. I'm sweating quite a bit now. I hope that you don't mind. Do you think there's any place cooler here?
- Well, I'm always complaining how chilly my dressing room is. We could go there to cool down if you want... I also have some nice etchings there if you want to have a look!
- You know, I think I'd like that. Do you think I could go on ahead right now?
- Please do! I'll wrap things up here and come show you around.
- Thanks Gron! I'll probably have to change my blouse also. Would be nice if you could help me as I always have trouble with the buttons with those enchantments on them and all - but I think I'll manage it myself if you don't make it in time. See you later!
- .... FINALMATCHINVALHALLACUPISOTHERBROTHERSVERSUSJUNGLE_BOOGIES! Someone will win! That's all! I'm Gron! Have a week! I'm off!
....
- ...The bastard went of like a lightning... Haven't seen even a gutter runner move so fast.... Don't blame him though... Yeah, yeah, we still almost two minutes of magiair reserved... Can't have dead air... You go on... Well, I'm not going, it's either you or that sprite in the sound check and you know how high pitched his voice is...
- Mmm.. Hi folks... Gron Grumbundy... He had to go... Ah... I'm Nippy.... HI MOM! ...Blood Bowl, really exciting isn't it! How much longer? A MINUTE STILL! Ohm, yes... What?... Analysis of the game... Ahem... Well, my dad said that the Jungle_Boogie are fighting for playoff spots and will beat anybody into bloody pulp who'll get in their way but my mom said to that Other Brothers have a big ogre who'll also beat anybody into bloody pulp... So I don't know... Mom tends to know things better but dad reads a lot of blood bowl mags in the loo, so he might be right in this one... Yep... Violent game blood bowl, isn't it? ... They'll probably run with the ball a lot... both of them. Might throw it also... Were out of time finally! This was Blood Spotlight Sporst! Tell your friends!

[JerXou]

Ahh im always waiting on these! Good job  :D

[Barmution]

Haha, excellent write up as always! Glad that I'm better with the ladies than regenerating my bodies on the pitch  ;D

Hope Edward makes himself more useful on your team than he was on mine, JerXou  ;)

[The Golden Arrow]

...another mystery regarding the high elf team's name solved, it seems...

I wonder how long you've been waiting to say this :P

[J-Reedy]

WEEK 4 RESULTS REVIEW & SPECULATIONS FOR FINAL WEEK OF REGULAR SEASON

- Welcome ya friends and patrons of the Blood Sports Spotlight magicast - the best place to get your weekly dosage of Norsca Union League. I'm Gron Grumbundy! Today we're going to take a look at the results from the week 4 and speculate how games of the final week might affect the playoffs. And we also have a guest here in studio! To celebrate the impending playoffs, we are joined by none other than the three-time playoffs MVP, the trusty troll guardian from the Slateheads' line-of-scrimmage, let's give a big hand to GROCK!
- YOU NO BIG HAND, YOU PUNY HAND. GROCK HAVE BIG HAND.
- Quite right, quite right Grock. Now, they say that playoffs are the hardest  games out there, do you share that opinion?
- GROCK DON'T LIKE ONIONS. DON'T WANT.
- Okey, so it seems we're better move into Ull's Pasture games... Eerrr, let's start with the game between the orc Lotsa Stompin' and necromantic Necro Norvegicus. The necros went into this game quite seriously underhanded but managed make the game tight and they even inflected some serious hurt on the orc team with 2 casualties and one of those two casualties left the orc blitzer Kool Zlab with a smashed collar b...
- SLABS NOT TOUGH. BIG SLABS BRAKE EASY. GRANITE TOUGHER.
- Some might argue with that statement considering the massive amount armour and muscle that orcs possess, but being wise I must concur with you Grock. slabs are not tough. As to the result of the match, it was 1-0 victory for the orcs who advanced the ball nicely both by running and throwing.
- BALL HARD TO THROW. GOES BLAM WHEN GRAB. ROCKS BETTER TO THROW.
- Yes, thank you Grock. The relative small amount of spectators meant that Necro Norvegicus didn't manage to get enough income for any new positional reinforecements, so they'll still have to rely on freebooters in their next match. Onwards to the next match or should I say a blood bath! I'm of course referring to the game between the lizardly Den of Dragons versus high elven Virgins No More. Tell me Grock, which on the teams do you think won the casualties 5-2 in this match and managed to kill two opposing players?
- KILLS GOOD! BOSS MAN GOT GROCK PEBBLE CANDY IF GROCK KILL ON GRASS. PEBBLE CANDY GOOD!
- ... Ok, well I'll tell you that surprisingly the more violent team was Virgins No More. They were helped out by crowd, who rocked couple of the lizards out.
- ROCKS GOOD FOR THROW! AIM FOR HEAD TO GET CANDY!
- And that the crowd indeed did, as they got one of the Dragons' sauruses out the game. Don't know if they got candy. But the Virgins No More sure took advantage of the Dragons' unfortunate and scored a convincing 1-5 win. One of the casualties they suffered was serious enough that they'll miss one of their linemen in the next game but they'll still get a full team out there. Den of Dragons on the other hand are seriously under-lizarded with 2 sauruses and 1 skink out from the next game. Tough season got tougher still for the Dragons, I swear this team must be cursed.
- CURSES BAD, MAMA DON'T LIKE. ROCKS CROCK WHEN GROCK CURSE.
- Mothers tend to be like that. Just like mummies, which brings us to our third Ull's Pasture game between the undead Last Steps and dark elven Roma Victoricus. We have no results from this match as the elven team have been quaranteened because of health issues. No word about the rumours that this might have something to do with their pre-game seremonies which are known to be quite bloody and dark, as is the nature of the darker elven folk. Anyways, as the results of the match is not yet determined, the outlook for the final round is still unclead. A point would be enought for the Last Steps to get them the tied second position in Ull's with the Lotsa Stompin'. And as one of the games in the Ull's final week of the regular season is between these two teams, we have some exiting days ahead of us. Virgins No More have already guaranteed themselves a playoff spot, so they can go into their final match against Roma Victorious just to hone their skills. The third match between the Necro Norvegicus and Den of Dragons will be a duel of two seriously hurt teams and there should be plenty of honour riding in this one. Any intelligent thoughts on these games Grock?
- YOU TALK MUCH.
- As I thought, so I'll just throw in a short recap of the Ull's Pastures' situation. Virgins No More will advance to play for the spot in the Valhalla Cup and they will be joined either by the Last Steps or Lotsa Stompin' as  decided by the result of the match between these teams. Both the orcs and undeads have proven to be serious contenders and have gained experience nicely. Undead will have bashing power but the orcs have the armour to resist the bashing so this could be a match where ball-handling skills come into play. Neither team has the advantage of quality but the orcs have the advantage in quantity as the undead zombies are notoriusly clumsy with the ball. The necros versus lizard match would seem to be a bit easier for the necros as they don't have the usual number of sauruses to deal with. But the number of freebooters in this matchup may make this game very unpredictable, as the freebooters have not had enought time to train with the team and they probably won't know all the coaches' signals. The third match will be between the elven teams. post-virgins have developed more talent but the dark-ones have more natural hitting power. Lots will depend on the durability of the players armours.
- ARMOR TOUGH. GROCK HURT FIST ON ARMOR MANY TIME. HAVE TO HIT MANY TIME.
- Words of wisdom finally there Grock. OK, let's move into Valhalla Cup to see which two teams will probably battle for the championship and which two will have to fight it out with the teams from the Ull's Pasture. I must say that the race for the top spots seems to be almost over, as both the NattBowlarna and Jungle_Boogie defeated their opponents 2-0. The undeads trashed the trashy amazonian team of Cougar Kittens very convincingly without even braking much of sweat. What they did brake, were spines and skulls of the amazons as they won the casualties 3-0 and crowd helped them with two other casualties. Of course, I'm not sure if the undead even sweat? Maybe if the necromancer moves them fast between the warm and cool places...
- COOL GOOD. GROCK THINK BETTER. HERE HOT. NOT GOOD. NOT LIKE.
- Ummm yes, sorry about that Grock, we seem to have forgotten to drop the temperature after our last guest, the beautifull, voluptuous, talented, charming, firm, bouncy.... Yeeeeeesss... AHEM. Yes, could you adjust the heat down a bit boys? Right, where were we? Yes, the other veteran team Jungle_Boogie defeated the human team Other Brothers. The Brothers won the casualties 2-3 but that didn't help them and it seems that the Brothers are surely heading for the playouts with the Ull's Pasture teams. The third match in the Valhalla Cup's fourth week was a violent affair between the khemri Staffans Hooligang and the skaven Flying Boom Bats BK. All of the violence came from the Hooligang who won the casualties 5-0 and knocked out a total of eight rats during the game! It was however reported that the skavens made the game tight and only lost 2-1.
- RATS FAST. HARD TO HIT. MUST STOMP LOTS, THEY SMALL.
- Right you are Grock. Anyways, as to the playoffs picture, NattBowlarna and Jungle_Boogie share the lead with 8 points. The Staffans Hooligang are at 6 points and Cougar Kittens at 7 points and will play against each other. Only a victory will do for these two teams if they dare to dream about playoffs but the spot in the glory games is out of their own hands. They'll have hope that either the Boom Bats manage to upset the Jungle_Boogie or the Other Brothers put a dent on NattBowlarna's near flawless season. So they will most probably just play for the glory and the title of the mid-tier teams, but there is of course some extra tension between the Kittens and Hooligang as the Kittens managed to kill one of Hooligang's tomb guardians permanently last season, so the match might prove to be interesting.
- MUMMYS SOFT. HARD TO HIT THE WHITE STUFF.
- Yes, my, that comment actually fit this situation. Ok, so the playoff and playout pictures seems quite settled in Valhalla cup, so all we have to do is wait for the games to play out and we'll be with you next week with the final recap of the regular season and maybe a sneak peak into playoffy games. Hopefully we'll even have some more intellectially inclined co-commentator here.
- YOU STOP TALK SOON? GROCK EARS HURT. GROCK GET ANGRY.
- .... Yes, that's it for this week. I've been Gron Grumbundy. Have a week!