S7 PLAYOFFS - SEMI-FINALS

[J-Reedy]

AND THE SEMIS ARE HERE!


PLAY ON! And here's a bit of bonus content:
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- Is it working Nippy?
- ...I think so mr. Grumbundy, I mean, at least I can hear your voice...
- Oh yes! And your ears must be pleasantly surprised to hear such a lovely music! All righty-tight, let's get down to business! When do we go live Nippy?
- ...Ummm... I thought you were already alive Mr. Grumbundy. Or have you turned undead?
- Oh, Nippy, how wonderful troll you would've become if you didn't have the unfortunate fate of being born human... I mean LIVE MAGICASTING! When will we be on the air?
- Oh... that live. Well, we've been casting live from the start...
- Wh... Blimey, why didn't ya say so? Start reading from the note, don't tell me you've lost it!
- Ermm... Here it is... Ahem! Fat v, e, two l's, c, isthata a q? no must be o, double-n, e... that makes. WELCOME! D, e, a...
- SHUT UP NIPPY! I'll do it myself. WELCOME DEAR FRIENDS TO THE SPECTACULAR LIVE AWAY EDITION OF BLOOD SPORTS SPOTLIGHT MAGICAST! I can hear you asking: What, aren't we coming to you live always, what's so spectacular about this time? Well, I tell you. Normally we're magicasting from our studios but this time your sultry-voiced host GRON GRUMBUNDY is at the scene so to speak! Nippy and the wiz team are handling the technical things at our studios while I'm offering my natural charm and wittiness through a chattylink from a mystery location. You might also wonder why our magnificent magicast has been away for a while. WONDER NO MORE! The reason is simple: I naturally want to offer you the best possible Blood Sports Spotlight every time, so I decided to do research closer into this magnificent league, NORSCA UNION LEAGUE that we're talking about! That's why I've been on the road for the last months, following the games at first hand!
- Erm... But Boss, what about that night when you burst through my bedroom window in the middle of night after the NUL final, all sweaty and saucer-eyed, and told me that you had to flee the city 'cause all of the dwarf mobfia was after you for some unsettled debts and that if they found you you'd be in tight a spot as a virgin's chastity belt in a high-elf orgy?
- HA-HA! Always kidding, aren't you Nippy! How'd you come up with that story? No, no, I've been traveling incognito, doing research on the league as I said. My leave may of course seemed urgent, but it was just because I was offered a chance to travel in some lovely company and I had to leave instantly.
- Mr. Gron, Boss? But didn't I send you that night to my pal Whizzy-Pissy who works at the Mama Cutter's Canned Goodies and Waste Disposal? Whizzy-Pissy told me that he shipped you out – hidden in a load of goblin shite – to that factory outside the city walls where they make the Goblin Candycans With Secrety Ingredient. I'd think that would not be very lovely trip. And by the way Boss, that cart driver's name was Ichabod, not Incognito.
- AHEM! Let's not get sidetracked Nippy. Whizzy-Pissy's bed time stories might be entertaining but it's time to get into business. Let's talk us some Blood Bowl! What did we talk about last time we were on air Nippy?
- Ermm... It must've been that magicast before the last finals where you talked with that pro-better Slinky Chancey. You know, one where you said after the show that you got a tip from Slinky about the finals and you were going to borrow all that you could get, from all the betting agencies in town, and put it all on norse win as they were sure to whup those lady-elfs tender arses.
- Oh yes... Of course that was it. But you must recall that last bit wrong, I would've never done anything that stupid. Everybody must recall the entertaining finals of last season where the high-elf team Virgins No More beat the norse Dragon Trainers 3 to 2 after some spectacular and un-elf-like physical play.
- Oh yeah, that reminds me Mr. Grumbundy. Slinky Chancey dropped by after you had left and told me to thank you.
- Thank me? For what?
- He said that without you he would've won only pennies as the Virgins betting odds were really low before the magicast 'cause he had bet on them heavily. But then a sudden betting rush for the Trainers turned the odds around and Slinky finally managed to get 10 to 1 odds on Virgins victory. Whizzy-Pissy says that Slinky made a fortune but that he's only gotten some of his money as the betting agencies haven't gotten hold of all the folks that made bets for the norse.
- .... that bastardly goblin... AHEM! Well, if you see Slinky again Nippy, please tell him that I really CAN'T wait to see him again and that I really WANT to introduce to him my new toy that I'm going to get JUST for him from Killa'z SHARP'n'Pointy Stuff.
- Oh sure Boss, I can do that. But when are you going to Killa'z? You see, there's been these troll, ogre and dwarf types coming to look for you almost every day, and I promised to tell them if I ever got hold of you. They must have some important stuff as they've been coming to visit you so often, so you might be interested in talking to them. Maybe you've inherited something! I mean of them types looked like a lawyer... although that one troll looked more like he was chopped frommed of a side of mountain... and that dwarf must've been a butcher with all that blood in his axe. Maybe I could tell them to meet you at Killa'z?
- Emmm... Yeeahhhh.... Tell them that I'm going to visit the Killa'z at the north side of the Orkitis. Remember, NORTH side store. Not the south store near the Orkitis Stadium where they're going to play the playoffs. NORTH SIDE KILLA'Z!
- Sure, Mr. Grumbundy. North side Killa'z, I'll tell'em that.
- Right. Now, to the business. Don't interrupt me anymore Nippy, I'll try to get into the flow. YESSIRREEE FOLKS! Time for some Blood Bowl chatting! Let's start with some team observations. As I mentioned, I've been scrutinizing every team closely this season so I can offer you detailed analysis of each team. Let's start with the new comers, human team Getingarna. Everybody must've known that they would have hard time competing against the veteran teams but this team has really showed some big heart... And some big stars! I mean, they've had the star player extra-ordinaire Morg'N Thorg in their ranks quite regularly and he has really helped them put up a good fight. The team showed stellar skills throughout the season and managed to earn their first win in the cup. Unfortunately they scored Druchii Smuchii Schmoo as their first playoff opponent. Nonetheless, Getingarna put up a spectacular fight, almost matching DSS in casualties and even managing to kill one of the darkies. Unfortunately for the humans, DSS also had a sharp edge in their game – as an interesting side note, in dark elves use the same word for game and knife – and the dark ones managed to kill two of the Getingarna and score 4 touchdowns while keeping the humans scoreless. But the Getingarna are showing promise, it just remains to be seen if and how they can recover from the slaughterfest that the DSS match turned out to be. But if we try to find a sunny side, at least they'll continue to have league support against more experienced teams, so they can keep on recruiting star players and maybe even some magical and medical aid for their future games. Yessss, I'm in the flow now, ain't I Nippy?
- ....
- Nippy?
- ...You told me not to interrupt you, Mr Grumbundy...
- Sigh... Right you are, you do that Nippy. Let's continue with the DSS as we already started talking about them. Well, what can you said about the dark elfs? They must be the most frustrating elf team out there for the other races. They might not be as fast as woodies – some say that that's due to difference in the ear pointiness, different aerodynamics or something like that – but on the other hand they won't break as easily and they have hitting power when they get accustomed to playing above the ground. And DSS are a living proof of this, as they have a duo of excellent offensive blitzers, another two all-around blitzers and nice support cast of veteran linemen. Interestingly DSS is the team that has suffered most deaths – 5 in all – during the season, but somehow they've managed to lose only rookie players. I won't say that I believe in the theory that the most successful darkie teams succeed by performing on-the-field sacrifices to Khorne but... ...Well, due to their death rate, this Druchii team has been playing with a thin roster and they are therefore subject to injuries. That's why the one permanent casualty and broken ribs Terry the Troll Torturer suffered in their last match may prove problematic in the semifinal match against the Dragon Trainers. Especially as the norse team is the last team who actually managed to beat the DSS with a convincing 2-0 score. Dragon Trainers have managed to train their players especially well, for example they have this linenorse Spitelout who is as fast and agile as any a dark elf blitzer I've ever seen and another lineguy Grimmroar who must've been drinking Troll milk – 5th most dangerous occupation in the world by the way, troll milker that is – instead of beer to get those muscles that he is sporting right now. And to top it off, Dragon Trainers have been playing like true norse, drunk and violent that is, but with the surprising agility of the drunkard who always manages to keep the pint steady however wobbly rest of his body is. Dangerous team indeed with natural blocking ability supplemented by nice strength boost and skill set of the veteran players. What do you think Nippy, who'll win the DSS-Trainers semi? Oh, you can interrupt me know.
- Amm.... Well, my mommy says that all those norse folk are good for nothing beer guzzlers but she also says that although those dark fairies are nice and mysterious looking she doesn't like that music they play with those rocks and metal things in their matches so she hopes that they'll beat each other senseless. But my dad says that that yhetee of the Dragon Trainers looks just like my aunt Bethilda and that if the yhetee is half as mean as she is, the Trainers are a shoe-in to win.
- Oh, how I've missed your insightful analyses! Onwards! Keeping in with the norse theme, let's take a look at the less experienced norse team Vinterlegionen. They were the rookie team last season so it was expected that their second season would continue to be developmental. They however started the season strong, scoring convincing wins with stellar tactics. And in the playoffs they came close to upsetting the veteran team Dragon Trainer; DT needed to use frenzied blitzing and some unnorse-like passing play to acquire a narrow 2-1 win within the last minutes of the game. Vinterlegionen have a decent core of veteran players with aggressive skill sets, so I wouldn't find it surprising if this norse team would suddenly start racking up some big scalps. What must've kept them on the downturn are the deaths, they're the second most popular team to get a visit from the grim reaper with 4 permanent casualties. And as we're talking about the most interesting subject in Blood Bowl, the art of taking your opponent off the field for good, let's continue with the team that has racked up most kills this season. Shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that it's the chaos team Disorganized Dudes. They are truly a beast of a team and the biggest and the baddest beast in this team is their minotaur Heisenberg Harry. I saw him play – well actually get fouled out early - in the Dudes vs DSS matchup and I must say that he's the hulkiest minotaur I've ever seen with the sharpest claws! And then there are tentacles to top it off. In fact, I'm not even sure if he is a minotaur, he looks more like a love child of an octopus and a werebull. Dudes also have another freakishly good two-headed and two-handed player in their ranks. I'd even go as far to say that the Dudes have the two of the most dangerous players out there, one who can beat you down, out and finally up to heavenly ranks without any help however strong you are, and one who can pick up the ball right under your nose even if you've just oiled it – the ball, not your nose – and are guarding it with all of your mates. Only weakness with the Dudes team that I see is that almost half of their linebeasts are rookies, so if the opponent manages to take their key players out somehow, they'll be basically playing against a rookie chaos team. But the Dudes have played it well and they gave us a good show in the quarter-finals, where Orkitis B.C. edged out a 1-0 win against them. I must wonder if the score would've been different if mr. Heisenberg had been able to take the field! Oh, Nippy, how's the family resemblance of Harry, does he look like any relative of yours?
- Ermm... I don't think I've seen him. Is he the horny one in the team?
- Don't you know all Blood Bowl players are horny Nippy? At least if the cheerleaders are even decent looking! Hahahaa!! I kill me. Well yes, Harry has horns but that doesn't help you as every chaos player has horns, those that don't have them naturally develop horn-envy without a fail and start wearing horned helmets. Well, what teams do we have left? Oh, yes, two to go. Let's talk about the one team that insists that it isn't a team but a gentlemen's club. That would of course be the Gentlemen Wolf-Whistlers, the walking burial ground – or necromantic team as is the more politically correct expression. I really must say that in my opinion they've under-performed. I mean they have two of the fastest and most dangerous players in those were-wolfs and they've managed to keep their core intact but... ...They're just so weather-wane of a team when it comes to physical play, it seems that they either have it or don't, there's no middle ground. And that spells trouble for the player development, as most of the necro team's experience is learning the soft spots of opposing players and then extracting some spare parts for your own body through those soft spots .This has caused a slow – even slower that is to be expected from an undead team – rate of player development within the Whistler ranks. The rapid rate of ghoul casualties may have also contributed to the slow development, I think they just hired a fifth new ghoul to their ranks last week. And I must say, after witnessing their quarter-final match against the Virgins No More, I think that their coach really needs to start concentrating more. If he hadn't been oogling at the cheerleaders all the time during the match, the Wolfers might've avoided that overextended run that left the ball carrier exposed to a high elf blitz. But we should also understand that the lead cheerleader was Brandy Hooter... Hoosterson, so the lapse in concentration is quite understandable. I mean talk about skill set that can knock a man down... Brandy certainly has that. Especially as you take into account she can leap like a witch-elf, that really gets things moving... bouncing even I might say...
- Erm... Mr. Grumbundy, the wizfolk are asking if you could stop talking about miss Hooter... Hoosterson, they say it's making it hard for them to concentrate on the chattylink...
- Oh! Yes, naturally, quite understandable. Well, let's talk about something unsexy then. How about orcs? I can't think of anything unsexier than big green lumps of muscle and fangs. But boy do they make good Blood Bowl players! And the NUL's own orc team, Orkitis B.C. is just as dangerous as it is good! They had some trouble early in the season but after the cup started they've won four matches in a row and are looking like the team to beat in the playoffs if one wants to even dream about the championship. They're not fast, they're not agile and they're not extraordinarily strong. But they have the staying power and that's a winning quality in Blood Bowl. I don't think they've lost even a single player during this season and that truly shows when you look at their roster. They have the most experienced team out there and what's even more important – at least if you ask from the legendary lineman Joe Smitty – the most unassuming lineman in the league, Glulor, whose managed to survive 20 games without permanent injuries. Of course, to balance out this perfect sample of a lineman, Orkitis have one of the most experienced and dangerous players in the league in their ranks. That player is of course Rokzig the blitzer who is really, really, really good at taking out opposing players. He's almost guaranteed to at least stun any opponent he goes against. Orkitis will however be going into semi-finals and against the Virgins No More team without Rokzig. He'll have sit out the match due to broken ribs. But the green folk will probably be happy to hear that Virgins have it even harder, as they'll be missing two of their players and burying a third one after their quarter-final match versus the Wolf-Whistlers. This semi-final matchup should be an interesting one, Orkitis have the advantage in strength and numbers but the Virgins No More have the agility and precision-striking skills. I think that the victory will be decided by little things – you know – kick-off reactions, ball bouncing, slickness of the field, that kind of stuff. I really wouldn't want to be forced to bet on this matchup... You'd have to be in dire straits if you'd have to put your life on line with one of these teams... OH WHY OH WHY DID I BELIEVE IN THAT GOB... Ahem. Yes, interesting semi-final round ahead of us. Dragon Trainers at the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo and Orkitis hosting Virgins No More. Excitement, thrills and all that. Any thoughts on the semis Nippy? Any street smarts from Whizzy-Pissy or your other mates on this one?
- Erm... Not from Whizzy, he stopped following the league after those amazon teams dropped out. He says it's all sausage fest now and who wants that, which doesn't make any sense, as I know Whizzy really likes his sausages, at least if there's mustard. But my pal Freddy-Farty says that he heard that the Dragon Trainers have changed their beer brand from Ode'ins Wan-Eye to Low Key's Gut-Wrencher and in his experience Gut-Wrencher gives you gas, so he thinks Dragon Trainers might have some disturbing presence thing going in their next matchup. And then my pal Harry-Hardup says that the DSS might be in trouble being that they've booked their rooms from an inn that's on the south-side of the stadium.
- I don't understand, how does that affect their chances?
- Well, Harry says that the inn is smack middle of a commercial area where there are girls only in houses of ill-repute, so the druchii will have hard time finding virgins to sacrifice for Khorne. But I don't know if he's right as he said there are those ill-houses around... I saw lots of nice girls in the hospital when I was there.
- Interesting, that might actually be useful information... Any word on the other matchup?
- Not really... But Whizzy-Pissy heard that this one guy on Pine Street claims to have sneezed up a booger that is as big and green as Flabmar of the Orkitis. And Freddy says that they've started selling this new green tobacco thing that makes you feel as high as an high elf. Don't know what that means but he said that.
- ... You really do have titulating conservations with your mates Nippy. Well, I think we've given our dear listeners enough information and insight this time. Be sure to follow NUL all the way to finals, it'll surely be exciting! I've been Gron Grumbundy and this has been Blood Sports Spotlight special spectacular live magicast! Have a good time!
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It's been a while when I've had time and energy to write one of these. Sorry for that if anybody has missed them. It's just that spring and summer time are always busy for me. But I'll try to keep inserting these stories then and now when the inspirations hits and my schedule allows!

[Mr B]

Thanks for the inspiration J!
Love the stories and the characters. ;D

So barm, Tuesday is off and the same for Wednesday as it looks.
20:30 otherwise on weekdays, weekends looks open for games also.

Cheers
B

[hakos]

Wonderful read mr J-Reedy.

Among all the fun mini stories inside, this one got me intrigued:

"5th most dangerous occupation in the world by the way, troll milker that is"

Apart from making me laugh very hard, I wonder what is on place 1 to 4? Maybe we can get further clarification later on...

[tags]

I've missed those guys, thanks for this, very good read as always :)

[Barmution]

Great to have the guys back, J. I've missed them  ;D

Mr B:
How about Monday at 20.30 GMT+2/CEST?

[Luiggi]

Hey there TGA, how about Tuesday to kick-off between 17.00 and 19.00 GMT +2?

[The Golden Arrow]

That doesn't work that well, I can play earlier on Tuesday (must go away at 18.00) or pretty much any night this week (not thursday, wednesday I have another game planned 20.00).

[Luiggi]

That doesn't work that well, I can play earlier on Tuesday (must go away at 18.00) or pretty much any night this week (not thursday, wednesday I have another game planned 20.00).

I could play a bit earlier and start at 16.00. I think 2 hours would be enough to play even an extra time. If it goes further than 20 turns it means that one of us has ran out of players anyway :D

[The Golden Arrow]

And I think we both know who that will be...

OK, so lets start at 16.00 on Tuesday then.

[Mr B]

Great to have the guys back, J. I've missed them  ;D

Mr B:
How about Monday at 20.30 GMT+2/CEST?

I'll try, no promises as of now though...  :-\

[Barmution]

Mr B:
How about Monday at 20.30 GMT+2/CEST?

I'll try, no promises as of now though...  :-\

Ok, I'll log in and wait around for a bit tonight, then. Post here if you can confirm that you cannot play tonight.

-Barm

[Mr B]

Mr B:
How about Monday at 20.30 GMT+2/CEST?

I'll try, no promises as of now though...  :-\

Ok, I'll log in and wait around for a bit tonight, then. Post here if you can confirm that you cannot play tonight.

-Barm

Looks like I'll not be able to play tonight
B

[Barmution]

Mr B:
How about Monday at 20.30 GMT+2/CEST?

I'll try, no promises as of now though...  :-\

Ok, I'll log in and wait around for a bit tonight, then. Post here if you can confirm that you cannot play tonight.

-Barm

Looks like I'll not be able to play tonight
B

Thursday at the same time?

-Barm

[Luiggi]

TGA, I know you have a rather short notice, but would you be able to play it tonight in 15-45 minutes (20.00-20.30 GMT +2)?

I had another game scheduled but I didn't play it after all... I'll wait for your news. If you miss this, no biggie, we're still on at 16.00 tomorrow.

[The Golden Arrow]

I can't quite make it. I could start at 21 and after that though.