Match reports / Trash talk / Blessings

[The Golden Arrow]

Yeah, being down five players a few turns into the second half was harsh, very fun game though and well played :)

[ToFex80]

the empressess just got über-whopped!!!

a 3-0 defeat...

big up to the boogies, it was a slugfest for them...

[J-Reedy]

PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

Hi you all sweety buns out there! We just found out that our match for this week will be probably cancelled as the Brothers (Bothers more like, for spoiling our game;) team has been held up in the customs returning from Khemri:( - so we get the week off :) !!! You know what that means, it's TIME TO PARTY! AND EVERY TEAM IS INVITED!!!

We've got the great company, the place, some snackies and couple of barrels of bloodweiser. Otherwise BOB (for you Orcasmics, that's doesn't mean black orc blitzer but Bring Own Booze!). Otherwise, you only need to bring yourselves. And maybe something little to eat (Jennifer just loves deep fried skinks and roasted saurus brains, anybody bringing those is guaranteed a kiss or two...:). Oh! And Halle would really like some Bretonnian ale (anybody connected?).

There'll be of course dancing, Maria has come up with these like totally awesome moves that are just too cool!, games (dwarf tossing if any of the Bloodstone Maniaxes show up, exorcism in case any Sypphilitics make a show and everybody's favourite, curse a mummy, if the big guys from Nattbowler's or Hooligans will come!) and loads of FUN!!!!! We'll maybe even put up a swimsuit show if any of the Empresses or Boogiers dare to take us on a catwalk competition! (We understand if you don't want to, we know that we are just too cute and ever so beautiful!!! :) And hey, if both of the Singsongers and Boombattys come, we can even organize a weeklings' arm wrestle contest between those tweeny-cuddly gutter runners and those cutesy-weeny elfie catchers! We even got an old orc-made six-shooting musket and some silver bullets if the Silver Hunters' weres want to play Russian roulette! SO FUN IS GUARANTEED! COME EVERYBODY AND LET'S HAVE FUN!

We'll be starting the party at six on Festag just after everybody's matches should be finished! The place is next to the ogre bar Rockslate Gulp, the big building that used be the Mademe Moocher's Fun House for Gentlemen and Curious Boys. It's really awesome! There are lots of beds if anybody wants to sleep over and lots of funny old clothes if we want to have a costume party!

So please come and let's have FUN!

XXX
- Cougar Kitties!


P.S. Wardancers with names starting with O and ending in a and including letters h, t, i and c are not welcome. Or at least we can't guarantee their safety.

P.P.S. ANYBODY who even hints about this this party to our coach will not live to see another day :# Consider yourselves are warned. He would have us do extra practice all week but luckily he'll be away for a few days... And you know what happens when the micey coach is away... It's time for the kittens to dance on tables! PARTY ON!

[ToFex80]

Thanx mr. B for a good game, though it´s a chocking loss for the empresses!!!  ;D

you really smudged the make-up on them...

[Mr B]

hehe, your welcomed  ;D

Cheers!
/B

[J-Reedy]

Let me weave for you a tale of misery. Or for you with no blood in your veins, the tale of a gloried victory. For rest, a story full of extreme pains.
Once a team of Cougars quite young, their heroics still unsung, went against the great undead, whom everyone should dread. They played a game of Blood Bowl, where you're supposed to score a goal.
The undead had a mummy named Kling, whom you'd find guarding the line. Cameron of the Kittens was first to feel his sting, when the mummy nearly broke her spine.
One down were the Kittens now, but down they would not bow. The mighty Zara went after the ghoul - the one with mouth full of drool, and nearly brought him down. Then sang the heavens, down to teams made of elevens, and fired down a ball of fire, with effects quite dire. For the ball was left loose and after it they went, like chasing a goose with a neck very bent.
Demi was one to gather up the ball but then broke out a brawl. Jennifer was carried out for she was hit by - there is no doubt - a ghoul named Pebblebasher, quite a smashing trasher. And the ball was once more with the already dead, and towards the goal they once again fled.
Then struck Teri, her aim so true and hands like glue that he got the ball to carry. But before you could even hear an ooh or a boo, came a wight striking with all of his might, and down went Teri like a fragile fairy.
Ball now in hands of ghoul came a play so foul that you could hear children weep. For the dead had another mummy named Klang with fists that truly sang and Felicity Lynette's game was done. They say she'll never be same, for they say that when her skull broke, down went her flame and thirst for fame, and all that was left was smoke and they never again heard if she spoke.
Then came the hurrah and mardi gras, for the undead scored, bashing the ball down to grass.
Riot broke out, when they kicked the ball, hooligans in the stands no doubt, starting a brawl. The Kittens with the half of a half to play, went after their pray. They tried for the goal and a score they almost stole but then what was heard was a whine. For Eve had dodged, only result of which was, a shoulder quite clearly dislodged. Out she went, all her will now spent. Then came the blitz quite ghoulish, and do not be so foolish to assume that the result would be anything but boom and doom. Kittens, they never truly recovered and then it was discovered, the half had now ended and sores could be mended.

At the start of the half they call the second, for Kittens a small glimmer of hope beckoned. As even though they were only ten against eleven, they were not a pack of hen. Teri Susan - the one with fire still in her heart - took a zombie apart. He never returned and it looked like the game had turned. Then struck Zara, one called slayer, truly a fearsome player. A stab. Just a small jab. That's all it took, and out went a ghoul, like a fish in a hook and the stands shook from the cheers. And now they were ten, women against those once called men, that now counted only nine, and you could see a hope shine.
Sadly, it would not be. For however gladly I would like to tell to thee that they broke free, scored a goal and won the bowl, it would not be, that was clear for everyone to see. Those who witnessed what happened, say that the sky blackened and all hell broke loose with the Kittens heads in the noose. Ball was bravely carried, although they were closely harried, by those already once buried. And down the Kittens went one by one, some of them stun, none of them having fun. There was Pebblebasher, there was Kling, there was Klang, and so hard their fists sang notes of doom that it would be foolish to presume it would not end in a bang.
Kristen dodged right and zagged left, running in a fright, all hope bereft. For now they were four against nine, in a short time, and not within the sight of the goal line. Lana was knocked out, Anne took one in the snout. Marcia almost broke her back, hit by a thundersome whack. Demi was fouled so hard that her ankle jarred. Susan left the field, as there came a blow she could not shield. Finally even Kristen was forced to yield, loosing the ball in a fall. But still she got up and tried again, but there would be no running lane, her tries clearly in vain. For everywhere she looked, there would be only mummies glee and she could not brake free, from the arms so tightly hooked. The half nearly at the end, the Kittens spine would finally bend. Kittens and the ball went down with a bounce ...and hope... left of hope was not even an ounce. A ghoul quite foul took the ball and with a smile extremly bright, handed it off to a wight. Zara still tried to save the day but could not, I have to say. Pushed back twice she finally took a whack that made her see only black. And then they scored, the men of night, as all the Kittens were now floored, and they could not give them any more fright.
So ends my tale with the numbers that count, and fearsome is their amount. Nine casualties the Kittens were counted to suffer - could the game have been any rougher? Goals that were scored came to be two, both for the team with stronger kung-fu.  So won the dead, ones everyone would be wise to dread.


After this historical ballad, some more straight-worded comments: At the first half the game promised to be a tight one with Nattbowlarna scoring after a tight tussle and Kittens getting a failed dodge away from getting an extremely likely score. Unfortunately Kittens had to spend all three (yes three) apotecharies already at the first half and still started the second half with 4 women out of game permanently. Second half proved to be a nightmare with 4 more Kittens either BH or SI'd and 2 more KO'd. Kittens still managed to keep the ball until the second to last turn but then it was 4 against 8 and Nattbowlarna had no trouble taking the ball away and scoring on the final turn. 2-0 for Nattbowlarna with some radically awesome gaming skills shown by Mr. B.

[J-Reedy]

Press release from the PR department of the Cougar Kittens. To be published immediately:

Cougar Kittens hereby announce that their players Felicity Lynette, a blitzer, and Demi, a linewoman, have been officially released from the roster of Cougar Kittens as a result of players' own request.

Felicity Lynette was a promising blood bowler who had already achieved some fame and was quite well-known for her side-stepping skills. Unfortunately ms. Lynette suffered a serious skull fracture as a result of a block by the mummy Klang in the Cougar Kittens' latest match against Nattbowlarna. This injury would have resulted in ms. Lynette missing Kittens' next game and her suffering permanently from diminished ability to guard herself against blocks. Therefore ms. Lynette desided it was time for her to retire from the game of football. Ms. Lynette will be replaced by a promising young amazon blitzer named Scavo Huffman.

Demi was a mainstay of Cougar Kittens' line all trough the season. She had no noteworthy skills but was well thought of within the team and had an extremely positive influence in the locker-room. Demi suffered a broken ankle due to flagrant foul by a Nattbowlarna zombie. The injury left Demi with diminished running speed and, after frank talks with the coaching staff, she came to conlusion that she would best serve the team as an back-office employee responsible for team spirit. Demi will be replaced on the field by young amazon linewoman Sandra whom the Kittens drafted from Annette school of warriorship where she has played blood bowl for the school team Brass Bullocks.

Cougar Kittens are saddened to see two of their most liked players leave the team but at the same time wish them all the luck in their future endeavours.

[Mr B]

Splendid writeup!! Times two, good luck with the upcoming games!
Thanks for the art work and the contribution:D

Br
/B

[ToFex80]

The match between Bloodstone Maniax - Gothia Empresses never came to the ground due to connection failures...

Had the tries for connection continued a little longer this could have been a violent saga!

fourty minutes of struggle and both managers agreed on giving it up... :(

[Kezerk]

The match between Bloodstone Maniax - Gothia Empresses never came to the ground due to connection failures...

Had the tries for connection continued a little longer this could have been a violent saga!

fourty minutes of struggle and both managers agreed on giving it up... :(

Yahhp. Turned off both firewalls, stll no luck.

- Kez.

[Mr B]

Yo guys, try other days it worked for me.
It's just very unreliable connection setup that Cyanide has made.
Keep trying please... if you have the time..

Cheers!
/B

[ToFex80]

just a short note for upcoming matchday...

I´ll be away on a short trip now and won´t be back until the 4th of august...
Hopefully I won´t miss the game, and I´ll jump at the game computer as soon as I´m back!!!

[Mr B]

just a short note for upcoming matchday...

I´ll be away on a short trip now and won´t be back until the 4th of august...
Hopefully I won´t miss the game, and I´ll jump at the game computer as soon as I´m back!!!

Ok, thanks for the info!

Lets have two weeks for next round then, anybody object?
/B

[J-Reedy]

My name Zara Mizelle Killer but you may know me better as the Zara the Slayer. I kill ghouls, stake vampires and tear mummies to shreds for I hunger for the eradication of the unholy undead. And sometimes I even play Blood bowl. Lately a lot ot of people have been wondering why I have chosen to play my last three matches with the newbie team Cougar Kittens. Well, one of the reasons is that they pay me handsomely. But another reason is that their latest matches have been against undeads, and as you may have picked up,l I really don't like those unholy creatures. And that is why I once again chose to accept when the Kittens' coach asked me lead the Kittens against the unholy Khemri team Staffan's Hooligang. And I must confess I quite enjoyed the game. Why? Let me tell you:
The game started with the unholies receiving the ball. The promising new receiver Kristin Lang kicked the ball straight at the unholy mummy  standing close to the scrimmage line. I almost laughed aloud watching how that clumsy pile of rags fumbled the ball onto the scrimmage line. And then the game started. I started running for the closest Throw-ra in sight and watched how the unholies started pushing my brave temporary team-mates around. They did not succeed but I did. My stakes struck true and the Throw-ra went down. Unfortunately he was only stunned and my hunger was not satisfied. I saw that the another Throw-ra had picked up the ball, so I commanded the Kittens to form a protective blanket close to scrimmage line and the ball. We would have to wait for our chance. It came sooner than expected when one of the skeletons  tried to dodge and went down like a pile of bones he truly is. After I stunned a zombie with my stakes, the route was opened to the ball-carrying unholy and the Kittens new blitzer Scavo went for it. Her blitz was true and the Throw-ra went down and the ball fell right next to the right sideline. This angered the unholies and they managed to push the linewoman Courtney off the field and knock some of our brave women down and push others back so the ball was clear of our players. But the unholies would not have it that easy. I yelled a battle-cry and went after the ball. And the rest of the those brave young Cougars followed my suite. And then my world went black. I later discovered that I had been stunned by a block from one of the unholies. But that did not matter for  I was told that while I was out, the unholies pushed Scavo - who was trying for the ball - right on the ball. The ball scattered out of bounds and the crowd caught it and and tossed it over the heads of all the players on the right sidelane, right at one of the unholy pile of bones standing at the middle of the field. Naturally the pile of bones fumbled the ball. And just as I was rolling over, recovering from the stun, I saw one of the most beautiful plays I've ever witnessed. Kristin the receiver dodged out of Tomb Guardian's grasp and went after the skeleton that had just fumbled the ball. I swear that skeleton's bone shattered to every direction when Kristin struck. They carried the bones out of the field and to my disappointment I saw the Hooligang "coach" pull those shattered bones back together and the unholy skeleton walked again. But that didn't change the fact that Kristin had done well and would do even better. For she picked up the ball and started a run towards the endzone. And rest of the Kittens covered him so well that the unholies had no chance of catching her. This energized me to great extent and my hands were like thunder and storm when I got up and struck my stakes at the chest of the Thtrow-ra standing besides me. And my heart found joy when the unholy creater screamed silently and crumbled to ground. I had managed to hurt him so badly that he would not return to the game. I gave myself a moment of joy and came to regret it instantly. For I was struck from the left and I staggered back, another hit from the right pushed me back once again and the third hit from my back found it's mark and I fell to ground right at the sideline. But that did not matter. For as I was falling down I wittnessed one of the most beautiful sights one can see at the Blood Bowl field. For Teri Susan, one of the bravest and most skilled blitzers on the Kittens team had laid a mighty blitz on the Tomb Guardian Neith the Westener and where the Tomb Guardian had only moments later stood there was now just a pile of dust. The mummy was dead. I laughed out aloud thanking heavens. And then I saw the unholies turn and start lumbering towards me and before I could do anything, they were kicking and hitting me with no remorse. The clearest foul I've ever seen but the referee must've been blind and did nothing. And, as I was knocked out, also I went blind and could not see no more of the rest of the first half.
When I came to my senses, right as the second half of the game was about to start, I heard the joyuos news that Kristin had scored an easy touchdown and we were leading 1-0. I also noticed that the weather had changed, the sun was now very bright, making passing of the ball hard for us and nearly impossible for the unholies. I got up and took a stand at the scimmage line, right next to an unholy skeleton and waited for the kick-off. The ball once again ended up right next to the right sideline but I didn't care about that. I struck my blessed stakes at the skeleton and saw him go down. Now the Hooligang coach failed to put the skeleton back together and I felt hunger ease a bit. My team-mates also did well, knocking the unholies down and the catcher Lana Kreuk picking up the ball. We quickly formed a line at the scrimmage line to give Lana protected route to the unholies side of the field. The brave Eva Gabrielle had the hardest task of guarding our weak left flank but she did well although forcing a blitzing Tomb Guardian stop its run after being pushed back once. She had given us just enough time to break the Hooligan line which we did. I led the run through the gap and deep into Hooligang side and Lana followed. Other Kittens spread out next to Lana, making it nearly impossible for the Hooligangs to get to her. The new linewoman Sandra was knocked out while keeping the unholies at bay but that did not matter, as we had cleared a route for Lana and she ran it true ending the run with a touchdown that gave us 2-0 lead.
We once again lined up for the third kick-off of the game and kicked the ball away. The kick landed right next to the Hooligan left sideline and the unholies started their last effort. Amunis Khopis, the remaining Throw-ra, managed to pick up the ball but that didn't seem to interest anyone. The unholies were just trying to lay waste to our frontline but their efforts were not rewarded as my courageous Cougar Kittens dug in and did not give an inch. We soon had a control of the center field so the Throw-ra decided to try for our half with a run hugging the left sideline. There was also a Tomb Guardian guarding the run. But as the mummy was too slow, he stumbled on his own legs and went crashing down while trying to keep up with the Throw-ra. That gave us a chance and it was all we needed. Kristin blitzed a skeleton down and then ran in just in time to give support for Eva who was blocking the ball-carrying Throw-Ra. She struck true and both the Throw-ra and ball fell to the ground. Unfortunately Eve soon followed them, as the Hooligangs stormed for the ball. But they would not succeed, as Kristin once again proved that she may some day become on of the greatest Amazons ever to play the game of Blood Bow. She dodged once, dodged twice, picked up the ball, dodged again, ran a few feet and then launched a nice and perfect throw towards Teri Susan who had cleared an unoccupied space for herself with the help of some other Kittens. Teri caught the ball which practically ended the game. We were too far from the end zone and the second half was almost at an end. Hooligangs had no chance nor interest for the ball and therefore there would be just some half-effort blocks and blitzes for the rest of the half. Hooligans got nothing out of that, but our brave linewoman Maria managed to get one of the skeletons badly hurt with her lightning fast block. And then the whistle blew and we celebrated. We had won the touchdowns 2-0 and what was the most important to me, we also won the casualties 5-0. My heart rejoiced and my hunger was satisfied for a moment.


After this somewhat one-sided commentary from the star-player Zara, here's are the at least somewhat more objective off-character comments: Staffan had no luck with the block dice, there were lot of push backs and only an occasional knock-down. I on the other hand had more than decent luck with the dice and especially Zara's stabs were murderous, she got 3 casualties out of them. On the first half Staffan had mis-click which caused a skeleton to try a failed dodge. This gave me a one die blitz on the ball-carrier, and I got it without even having to use a reroll. Then the ball scattered out of bounds and ended up in a good spot for me. That practically ended the first half. At the start of second half I managed to get a man advantage on the very first turn with Zara's stab which helped in getting a fast TD. Being 2-0 Staffan had to take some risks and the bad dice struck again. Good game from Staffan nevertheless. And sorry about the Tomb Guardian.

[ToFex80]

Well this was unexpected!?!   :o

What happened Golden? 

Disconnection in turn three, 2-0 for the empresses...  :-\