Match reports / Trash talk / Blessings

Started by The Golden Arrow, May 12, 2011, 09:51:03 AM

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Mr B

Quote from: ToFex80 on August 07, 2011, 10:34:38 PM
Well this was unexpected!?!   :o

What happened Golden? 

Disconnection in turn three, 2-0 for the empresses...  :-\

Keep me informed..

The Golden Arrow

I've sent you a few pms ToFex, my computer broke down on me...



did you get my pm?

I´m available at 21.00 tonight, ready for a new shot!  ;)

hope you can make it...


Thanx Golden for a great game...

Ended in a draw (lucky ladies!!!) 1-1.

Mr B


Thanks for the info!
Good luck in the last match for S3..

The Golden Arrow

Yeah, it was a hard fought game with the amasons outbashing my poor undead, but my super ghoul proved almost invinsible in the last half where he held on to the ball almost until the last turn (surviving three two die blocks) only to get knocked down on a one die block and knocked clean out of the game when he was just a few steps away from the ghoul line. My ag 5 wight grabbed the ball on the last turn and tried to pass it to a flesh golem (of all guys) in the end zone, but an evil lady grabbed on to the ball when he tried to pass it...


It is a well-known urban myth - some might say fact -that women are scared of rats and mice. Today's Blood Bowl match between all-woman Cougar Kittens and all-ratty Flying Boom Bats Ballklubben demonstrated why women have good reason for this fear.
The match started with the Flying Boom Bats receiving the ball. And then all heck broke loose. According to rumours  some spectators had gotten into an argument about which team's players were easier to hurt. This argument got so heated that the arguing sides finally decided to solve their argument with a hands-on experiment and stormed the field, trying to beat-up as many players as possible. Unfortunately the pitch invasion didn't resolve the argument, as the results were mixed: crowd managed to tackle five rats and only one amazon but none of the rats were hurt - the amazon linewoman on the other hand was stunned. As the crowd was returning to stands, Boom Bats burst into action. Gutter Runner Swiftfurs picked up the ball, made a quick dash towards center line and hurled the ball to fellow gutter runner Fastclaws waiting at the left sideline. Fastclaws caught the ball effortlessly but he managed to enjoy the company of the ball only few seconds when one of the the Cougar Kittens' most violent and feared blitzers Teri Susan hammered into him. Fastclaws went down and the ball bounced out of bounds. Crowd quickly returned the ball to the opposite side of the field where the amazonian catcher Kristin Lang was waiting. Kristin picked up the ball and made a short sprint towards center guarded by a couple of her team-mates. The closest Boom Bats player to Kristin happened to be the rat ogre Ratatosk. Unfortunately for Boom Bats, Ratatosk is know for being a bit of "personality" and, as his team-mates were yelling for him to go blitz the amazonian wench carrying the ball, Ratatosk merely shook his fists and roared in rage. Other Boom Bats' attempts to stop Kristin were in wane. On her way to goal line she blitzed down two opposing players, made a couple of beautiful dodges and in a final push managed to sprint beyond her natural abilities to reach the end zone and score the Kittens' first TD. At this point only third of the first half had been played.
Second drive of the game started with two amazon players laying on the sidelines knocked out but the Kittens still had enough players to field a full team. The starting kick landed on the near right corner of the Boom Bats' half of the field. Boom Bats quickly picked up the ball and got it onto center field in a hurry. At first amazons made no attempt for the ball and only lined up to cover the advances of the ratty team. But when the rat ogre Ratatosk threw another one of his fits, Kittens got a chance to blitz the ball carrier. Unfortunately the linewoman Cameron managed only a pushback and in the process she got too near Ratatosk, who quickly downed the wench. This opened a tiny little hole in the Kitten's line and as everybody knows, gutter runners are so petite and fast that they can get through the even tiniest of holes. So the ball was handed off to Speedy Gonzo, who leaped, dodged and ran as fast as he could and then some. Naturally, the result of this beautiful run all the way from the center field to the end zone was a TD. At this point crowd was getting very excited, as there was still a bit under third of the first half left to be played and score was already 1-1.
Third kick-off of the game was the first chance for the Cougar Kittens to get their hands on the ball without having to result to violence. This they did without any trouble, as the Boom Bats' opening kick landed out of bounds. Blitzer Teri Susan was the most experienced player closest to the line of scrimmage, so the Kittens' coach tossed the ball to her. Teri thanked for this show of confidence quite spectacularly. With a help from her team-mates she brought down the stormverming guarding the right sideline and ran deep into Boom Bats territory. Boom Bats reacted quickly and amazingly the first one to act was Ratatosk. His blow sent linewoman Courteney violently into ground. For the moment it seemed that Courteney was dead but quick reflexes of the Kittens' resident apotechary Hugh House saved the day and Courteney was later seen taking the court at the second half. Rest of the rats were also quickly gnawing at the heels of Teri Susan. Speedy Gonzo even succeeded in stopping the blitzer's run by pushing her almost out of bounds. But Teri stayd on her feet and on the field. And when catcher Lana Kreuk caught up and gave her support, it was all that Teri needed. She pushed back the stormvermin closest to her, followed through with her block and then dodged out the rat's grasp and ran as her life was at stake. The result was a TD and the Kittens' were up 2 to 1.
There was still enought time on the clock for one kick-off but Boom Bats managed to get nothing out of it. Teri Susan on the other hand was not satisfied with merely scoring. Just as the ball was being kicked, she and the rest of the amazon team blitzed. The end result was one knocked out rat by the name of Deedle Blade.
Teri's hit on Deedle Blade was so forceful that the rat didn't recover to start the second half. The two amazonian knock-outees on the other hand had rested for almost entire first half and managed to recover just in time for the second half. Second half started with Boom Bats' second kick-off and what a beauty it was. The ball landed on the right corner of the field, as close to sideline and endzone as possible. Cougar Kittens, who were in their usual line-up close to line of scrimmage, were forced to rush down to cover the ball. Some of the amazons however remained at the center, one of them being Teri Susan who was working hard at earning the MVP mention. Her first block of the second half knocked out the rat-thrower Furry Ballbreaker and this inspired rest of the ladies on the line of scrimmage to also take down their opponents. Meanwhile, the first Kittens to get to the was Lana Kreuk but her attempts to pick up the ball failed miserably. Fortunately the distance to the ball was too much even for gutter runners, so the Boom Bats had no chance of taking advantage of this fumble. Kittens finally got the ball off the ground when Lana Kreuk's twin sister Kristin Lang got to the scene. The protection around her was loose and Boom Bats might've had a chance for a desperate blitz but then Ratatosk came to Kittens' rescue. Rat ogre's block attempt on blitzer Eve Gabrielle ended with Ratatosk eating the grass. Boom Bats were so stunned by this fail that Kittens soon had Kristin running towards the center line in a cage tight as nun's chastity belt. It seemed that nothing could stop the cage's advance but then, just as Kristin set her foot on the center line, linewoman Sandra failed her dodge attempt out of Ratatosk's arms and that was all that Boom Bats needed. Linerat Guy on the Coach laid smack on linewoman Christina. As a result she was carried out of the field badly hurt. Linerat Pfffssssk's block on linewoman Anne resulted in one amazon hand getting so smashed that Anne may have to miss Kittens' next game. Rest of the rats swarmed the Kittens who were supporting Kristin's run in order to give Ratatosk a chance to blitz the ball-carrier. Kittens' sighed in relief when Kristin managed to stay on her feet and the block attempts of the frenzied Ratatosk resulted in mere push-backs. Frenzied attack had brought Ratatosk and Kristin quite near to the sideline where there relatively few rats guarding the endzone. Kristin saw the chance and took it: she dodged over Ratatosk's tail, took down a gutter runner standing in her way and sprinted for the endzone. In no time she was far away from trouble and other Kittens were positioning themselves between her and the reats. The only Boom Bat close enough to reach Kristin was Nifty Swiftfurs but he had no chance for a block so he tried to call for a blitzing help from his ratty team-mate Brent of Belows. Unfortunately Brent was guarded by Marcia Bree, blitzer quite well-known for her tackling skills, and Brent went down trying to dodge after Kristin. Nifty was soon to follow when Teri Susan caught up with him. Kristin had now a clear route to end zone and she took no time reaching the goal line and the score was now 3-1 for Kittens.
The final kick-off of the game was booted with second half almost at an end. Cougar Kittens were sure to win the match, so they only tried stay out of trouble and settled for forming a defensive line and trying to stay away from the rats. In this they did not succeed. For Guy on the Coach had found out that his true calling was to hit on girls. This he did so efficiently that Blitzer Eva Gabrielle was soon carried out of the field with a badly hurt back. Another rat out to prove something was Speedy Gonzo. He got the ball from the thrower Swiftfurs near the center line and off he went. Leap, dodge and a bit of an effort in running were all that were needed to give birth to Boom Bats' second TD just as the second half ended. The match ended 3-2 for the Cougar Kittens but the Flying Boom Bats BK won the casualties - which some true connosseurs of Blood Bowl consider to be even more important than touchdowns - 4 to nothing. Clearly a sign that women really should fear rats.

And the non-fluffy comments: Game was tight and the dice seemed quite fair, maybe a bit in favour of the Kittens. Boom Bats' rat ogre proved to be Kittens best player, single handedly stopping at least three Boom Bats attempts to blitz the ball carrier. Interestingly all of the TDs were scored with the help of go-for-its.


Very nice summary Reedy, I feel honored! But you missed to point out the Rat coach's failed fluffy cage tactics (i.e. no cage at all ). I really must get my act together until next Amazon match, and a rat with tackle.

Great match and great opposition coach :)


/ Rot
// Rotty; in-game Ratstick

Mr B

Quote from: Rotty on August 14, 2011, 06:20:00 PM
Very nice summary Reedy, I feel honored! But you missed to point out the Rat coach's failed fluffy cage tactics (i.e. no cage at all ). I really must get my act together until next Amazon match, and a rat with tackle.

Great match and great opposition coach :)


/ Rot
I agree.. They are the best..
Thanks for adding them!!


So yet another defeat for the empresses!!! 1-2

Well played mooonuel...  ;)


Well played Tofex it was a close game and a tough challenge to beat you  :)


Well another season completed by the Dribblers and a 7th place finish makes it a fairly average one at that. 5-0-6 looks like I might of lost games trying to change draws into wins  but i only scored in one game i lost  >:( I also beat the 5 teams below me and lost to the 6 above. Next season will be different Papa Nurgle has promised a particularly virulent venereal disease to the team if they have a winning season  :)

We are very happy to welcome our first amazon rotter to the team for next season  ;) Sure she'll be very popular in what counts for the showers on a nurgle team  :-*


Good "match" Barmution if you want to call it a match  :D from my part good description for the match would be slaughter and oblivion...


Yeah, sorry that I got a bit grumpy, but losing 2 positionals can get the best of anyone. 1 ghoul and 1 wight will be sorely missed and with no SPP except for 5 for MVP (if it didn't land on one of the casualties), walking away with 30k (including the +10k from FAME, goddammit!) makes me feel a bit robbed. Hopefully you devastate your next opponent as much as you did me, so that I have a fighting chance against someone soon :/

Build a man a fire and you keep him warm for the night, set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.