Match reports / Trash talk / Blessings

[The Golden Arrow]

As per usual, stab away :)

All praise be to Nuffle...

[J-Reedy]

TWO AMAZONS DIE - NO-ONE BURIED
It's a public secret that Nurgle teams are dirty - both literally and by their playing style. This was once again proved today in an exciting Blood Bowl match between nurglean Syphilitic Dribblers and amazonian Cougar Kittens. Clean and groomed Kittens we're so disgusted by the smell and personal hygiene - or rather lack of thereof - of the Syphilitic players that they refused to play the close contact game the Kittens are known for. Dribblers on the other hand were very eager to get their hands and horns on and into the fresh Kitten flesh.
The game opened with the amazonians receiving the ball. Kick to the middle left half of the field was picked up by Kitten receiver Lana Kreuk, twin sister of Kristin Lang who scored a touchdown in the Kittens' last match against dwarfen Bloodstone Maniax. There was however no sign of any sibling rivalry between Lana and Kristen. In a matter of fact, Kristin Lang was the key player in protecting her sister's amazing run that ended in a touchdown late in the first half. As stated, Lana Kreuk started from the left half of field. From there she sprinted horizontally to the right side of the field protected by loose amazonian cage led by Kristin Lang. When she got to the right edge she started a quick sprint for the endzone. At this point she was protected only by three other amazonians, one of whom was her twin-sister. Rest of the team were trying to keep their nurglean opponents occupied and away from the ball. This plan of attack was so succesful that when Lana Kreuk got to the goal line, she had time to change direction and run horizontally across the goal line to the left edge of the field. This ingenious play by the young catcher took so many minutes out the game clock that Syphilitic Dribblers had no chance to even the score when they received the ball after the touchdown.
After first half the score was 1-0 for Kittens and casualties were even at 1 a piece. One of these statistics was to change drastically at the second half. Second half started with Syphilitic Dribblers receiving the ball. Booming kick by the Kittens ended up hugging the right edge of the nurglean side far from the center line. Unfortunately for Dribblers the prestigor that was sent to pick up the ball tried just bit too hard and ended up slipping on the grass just after picking up the ball. Kittens lost no time in taking advantage of this mishap. Three-woman amazonian blitzing team led by blocker Teri Susan had already started a blitz towards the ball at the excact moment the ball was kicked off. They darted for the ball while other Kittens formed a protecting blankett around most of the nurglean players occupying the area around the center line. Dribblers' heroic multiarmed prestigor Pandemicus the Beast almost saved the day by takind down one of the advancing Kittens, picking up the ball and flinging it to safety of the mass of Dribblers at the center. Unfortunately for Pandemicus he wasn't the only player on the field capable of heroics. According to eye-witness statements from the spectators Teri Susan of the Kittens jumped six feet high, summersaulted, blew kisses to the crowd and added some lipstick while flying through the air to intercept the ball thrown by Pandemicus. Game was turned and fast. Teri Susan sprinted towards the goal while other members of her blitzing team swarmed the Prestigors closest to her. After that nobody touched the heroic blitzer and after playing the clock down by taking the ball to opposite corner of the Dribblers' endzone Teri Susan scored Kittens' second TD of the match. Joy of the Kittens was overshadowed by the fact that their team-mate Jennifer, while protecting Teri Susan's run for endzone, suffered a booming block from prestigor Bubanicus that left her lying on the field lifeless. Fortunately for Kittens there would be no burials today, as Kittens resident apotecharian Hugh House managed to pull unfortunate amazonian linewoman back from the gates of heaven.
Dribblers had nearly half of the second half left to score. High kick from the Kittens left the ball in the hands of the Bubanicus the prestigor. All seemed to go by the way of Syphilitic Dribblers as another amazonian linewoman was left dead on the field by the front edge of Dribblers' cage that was forming into Kittens half of the field. Luckily Kittens team manager had anticipated the game to be dirty and tough and had therefore freebooted the services of apotecharian Ceorge Ross who managed the safe the unfortunate Cougar's hide. Luck of the Kittens continued when Dribblers decided to play the ball by passing. This decision led to a chaotic end of second half that saw two failed passing attempts by both teams and no real chances to score. Therefore the game ended with Kittens winning the touchdowns 2-0 but Dribblers scoring spectacular 2 near-deaths. On a side-note, there had been speculation before the match if the spectators of the match would influence the end result of this game even more than is usual. This speculation may have arisen due to fact that Cougar Kittens visited nearby college of wizardry before the game. After this visit rumours surfaced that some of the Kittens had stayed rather late at the dormatory of certain mr. Putter, an advanced student of wizardry who earlier this year won some ill fame by scorching a pair mummies with a fireball in a match between undead Mummy's Little Helpers and amazonian Slats. This speculation proved wrong, no fireballs were launched at the match. But another cause for speculation may be the strange fact that Mr. Putter, who actually did attend the match, was attacked by unknown group of thugs and beaten severely when he was leaving the stands. Unofficial eye-witness reports state that the attackers may have been women dressed up in rather authentic looking blood bowl gear.

[Mr B]

Nice writings dude!
Me like!

[J-Reedy]

Thanks for the like Mr B! Nice to know that some enjoys the writings, although I would probably write these things anyways, as I myself really do enjoy writing them. Text must flow. He who controls the text, controls the universe (props to anyone getting these two references).

[J-Reedy]

RECORD CROWDS AT A GAME BETWEEN TWO AMAZON TEAMS
It is a rare occasion when two newly founded Blood Bowl teams playing their third game of the season draw a crowd of 25 thousand spectators. But on the other hand, considering that the most expensive painting (throughout the ages amazing amounts have been paid for this work of art even though it is partly unfinished, as Pigsasso died of a stroke while putting finishing touches on the work - the artist was found lying in front of his masterpiece with a giant grin on his face) in the world is Vincent van Pigsasso's "Closeups of hot, oiled and sweaty female bodies wrestling among themselves and glistening in the sun while the crowd cheers" depicts a Blood Bowl match between two amazonian teams, it is no surpise that this kind of a record crowd was achieved today in a match between amazonian Gothia Empresses and another amazonian team Cougar Kittens. Match between two amazonian teams truly is a sight that every man should wittness if only once in their life.
To the delight of the crowd game started in sweltering heat guaranteeing that players on both team had to start the game oiled with protective sun lotions. This reporter was on the game and I can even now see the sight at the opening kick-off in my mind: as the sweat started dripping down the bodies of the players and mixing in with the oil, the players bodies started to glisten and shine, uniforms could sometimes be seen sliding away and revealinggggggggggg
....
We are sorry to inform you that your regular reporter has suffered a mild stroke. He was found on his desk holding a picture of one of Pigsasso's most famous artworks and this unfinished match report. For safety reasons rest of the match report will be brought to you by a reporter who was not present at the game and has gathered the events of the game from local hospital where a large part of the spectators for this match was taken due to exhaustion caused by an elevated pulse and extensive sweating and eye bulging.

From what could be gathered from the eye-witnesses to the match between Gothia Empresses and Cougar Kittens, it was the Empresses that were the first to receive the ball. Their thrower, ms. Androxaida quickly gathered up the ball from their backfield and advanced to left side of the midcourt. Kittens' defence on the left side forced ms Androxaida to turn center where she handed the ball to a Gothian linewoman who then started to advance along the right side of the field. At this point she was however taken down by the Kitten blitzer Marcia Bree. It would seem that ms. Bree was upset about her fellow team mate Teri Susan getting credit in press reports for the amazing interception and touchdown in Kittens last game when it was in fact ms. Bree had made this remarkable play. Eager to prove herself, ms. Bree knocked down the Empress ball carrier, gathered up the ball and started a run for the goal line. At this point spectator reports get a bit hazy, it would seem that most of the crowd was not watching the Kitten blitzer advancing to goal line with two other Kittens protecting her run. Instead they were more interesting in following closely the efforts of rest of the Kittens who were trying to keep the Empresses from following Marcia Bree. This was achieved by tackling, wrestling, blocking and otherwise womanhandling the other side's players. However, according to official match statistics ms. Bree scored the touchdown just before the half ended. Also according to records, Empress linewoman, ms. Mantamer was also taken off the field after suffering a broken jaw caused by a block from Kitten Blitzer Teri Susan. The scored touchdown resulted in a another kick-off just before the half-time. It is safe to assume that nothing interesting happened at this second kick-off, although there were numerous detailed eye-wittness reports about the mid-court tussle between three Kitten lineplayers and most of the Gothia Empresses team. There may have been numerous wardrobe malfunctions with some of players, although it also possible that these reports are result of over-geared imaginations of the spectators.

To the disappointment of the crowd, heat eased at the half time and weather returned back to ideal. Now it was Cougar Kittens' turn to start the attack. The ball landed at the right side of the field, near the midcourt. There it was picked up by Kittens' latest recruit, quarterback Joan Montana. Ms. Montana however was not yet to demonstrate her throwing skills, instead she started a long run towards the goal along the right side of the field. She was efficiently protected by her team mates who formed a dense protective cage around her and took down all the Empresses trying to break through. As ms. Montana was running along the sidelines, the eye witness reports provided were quite detailed. It would seem that there was lot of heaving of chest areas, puffing of lips, flexing of various body parts and hair-tossing going on. At the mid-point of the second half the crowd was to be disappointed by seeing ms. Montana and four other Kittens breaking away to middle of the field. After the ball was taken to middle, Kitten cage loosened and Empress players managed to put some pressure on the ball. Joan Montana however managed to score the Kittens' second touchdown just after the midpoint of the second half.
Empresses had still enough time to score when they got the ball third time. Their thrower, ms Adroxaida was again the first one to get to ball that had landed deep down Empresses side of the field. While she ran to the middle and passed to ball to a team-mate at midcourt, two of her team mates were trying to break-through the Kittens' defensive line. They were trying to get to the endzone for a chance to get a last minute TD pass attempt. Kittens however succeeded in bringing the first intended receiver down and tying the second one down with pressure from three Kitten players. The second half ended when the the Empress players tried to dodge through the three Kittens and was quickly brought down by the tackling skills of Kitten blitzers. End result was identical to the last two matches of Cougar Kittens, 2-0 victory for the Kittens.


Off character comments: ToFex80 had a bad dice day. Most of his key rolls failed which gave me couple of good chances. Lots of failed dodges, skulls after reroll was already used, double pushbacks rerolled into double pushback and even a failed apotechary roll.

[Rotty]

Not having the writing talent of J-reedy I can still report Boom Bats finally lost their jinx which been looming over the rats this and last season. They actually managed to win and not sustaining a single injured rat! 2-1, Thanks for a great and tense game Konna, it really should have been a draw but having those nuffled dice of yours didn't help. I swear someone must have greased that pig bladder with custard. Perhaps to keep us coaches sweating while our lads were trying to grab the ball.

Cheers!

/ Rot

[Konna]

Not having the writing talent of J-reedy I can still report Boom Bats finally lost their jinx which been looming over the rats this and last season. They actually managed to win and not sustaining a single injured rat! 2-1, Thanks for a great and tense game Konna, it really should have been a draw but having those nuffled dice of yours didn't help. I swear someone must have greased that pig bladder with custard. Perhaps to keep us coaches sweating while our lads were trying to grab the ball.

Cheers!

/ Rot

Thanks, Rotty! The game was truly a thrilling one. Happy to have granted your streak a deserving end. My guys are notorious butterfingers and they proved themselves as such excellently tonight.

[Konna]

Had to mention that the winning score came by probably the most elaborate and amazing throw I've ever seen. The rats lobbed the ball all the way from their own side one square on my side of the scrimmage line to a gutter runner waiting on my touchdown area. A lucky two sixes but beautifully so, have to admit. I've uploaded the match replay file along with the stats with bb manager in case anyone's interested in witnessing this feat.


e:checked it and the throw was one square shorter than I remembered

[J-Reedy]

ONE WOMAN SHOW AT THE COUGAR KITTENS vs SING A SONG EVERYDAY
To this date Cougar Kittens had played against a dwarf and a nurgle team and come away with only minor casualties. Who could've imagined that it would be a wood elf team that would manage to break the Kittens. But that is just what happened today at the Kittens game against the wood elven team Sing a Song Everyday. The game started with Sing a Song receiving the ball but Kittens seemed to get a good start by calling a blitz just at the moment the ball was kicked. Blitz was however short-lived when a Kitten lineman hit the turf while dodging for the ball's intended landing spot. And then the Kittens' nigthmare started. The bad dream came in the form of the wood-elven wardancer Ohtica whose very first blitz took a Kitten linewoman out of game. Sing a Song quickly picked up the ball and sprinted to the middle of the field. The more tackling-minded blitzers of the Kitten team tried to put pressure on the ball, but the elven thrower carrying the ball was just too slippery and dodged out of every situation. Kitten linewoman Halle wasn't as skillfull with her dodging. She managed to get fumbled on her own legs while making dodging for a block support. According to preliminary reports ms. Halle will miss her next game and may suffer from a niggling back-pain for rest of her life. After Halle was taken out of the field, the Kittens were so short-handed that Sing a Song had no trouble making a beautifull pass play to a receiver at the Kitten endzone. Game 1-0 for the Sing a Song with 2 Kittens already out and 1 knocked out.
Kittens started their tying drive 1 woman short-handed but managed to tie the (wo)man count shortly and also secure the ball. That's when ms. Ohtica struck again. A beautifull dodge & leap combo got Ohtica an unassisted blitz chance against Kitten receiver Kristen Lang who was carrying the ball inside a loose cage. Kristen went down and so did the ball. One of these two was soon picked up by Sing a Song's thrower who made a quick job of delivering the ball to a free receiver. After another elegant and effortless touchdown the game was 2-0 for Sing a Song Everyday.
The third kick-off of the game was 11 amazons against 10 elves as the Kittens had managed to take one of the elven linemen out of game permanently. But the elves would have no need for men, they had two women on their team and one of them was making a mince-meat out of the Kittens. Kittens managed take down the elven front line and their thrower Joan Montana had secured the ball back-field and was protected loosely by two of her amazon comrades. That was not enough. Wardancer Ohtica danced through the amazon line and with a help of team's another wardancer managed to place an unassisted block on ms. Montana. As a result ms Montana was taken immediately to see the Kittens' team apothecary Hugh House. After careful examination mr. House came to conclusion that ms. Montana had suffered so severe damage to her back that she would lose almost all of her agility. Mr. House quickly decided that it would be best to let ms. Montana out of here misery. Ms. Montana's funeral will be held later this week. At the field, Kittens managed to pick up the ball up but as the time was running out the clock, they were forced to go for a pass. The resulting play may give cause to wonder, if it wise to play twins in one's team. Kitten linewoman Maria had managed to secure the ball and was trying to throw it to Lana Kreuk who was waiting at the right side of midcourt. However,  Lana's twin sister Kristin Lang was standing by Maria, protecting her from the duo of wardancers. Many spectators speculate that this confused the poor linewoman's depth vision severly and that is why the ball ended up dropping to ground where it was luckily picked up by Kristin Lang. But that was just about all the luck the Kittens would have, for there standing beside ms. Lang was Ohtica. You know what happened. By elven standards the game plan was simple: block, woman down, pick up the ball, fling it to closest receiver and score. After a meaningless kick-off the first half ended 3-0 for Sing a Song.
Second half started with Kittens receiving the ball. This time the Kittens had more of a try in them. The amazons started finding their tackling skills and the elves were soon playing short-handed with 2 elves out permanently and another pair knocked out. Kristin Lang even managed to take the ball to elven side of the field. And that's when the nightmare struck again. This time it wasn't Ohtica but Sing a Songer's another wardancer who made a leaping blitz-play and took Kristin down unassisted. But it was Ohtica who picked up the ball that had scattered loose and flung it to receiver at a midcourt. Strangely the elven receiver was struck by a lightning just as he was running for the goal and Kittens managed to get to ball back. But then she whose name will be cursed by Kittens from this day forward came for the ball again. Ohtica took down the ball carrier and the waiting receiver was soon once again over the goal line. 4-0 for the Sing a Songers.
This play was too much for Kittens' blitzer Teri Susan. After the kick-off she went after Ohtica with a vengeance. A lightning-fast blitz assisted by linewoman Jennifer left the heroess of the game lying on the ground motionless. Even elven apotechary couldn't help ms Ohtica who will miss her next againt game due to a Fractured jaw. This casualty and thinning of the elven roster boosted the Kittens enough so that they managed to protect Kristin Lang long enough for her to score a consolation TD for the Kittens. After the meaningless sixth kick-off the game ended in 1-4 win for the Sing a Song Everyday.



Off-character: Just couldn't stop the wardancer. Every play she made seemed to work like a dream. Injury and dodge rolls killed me in the first half and after being 2-0 down against elves you need luck that I didn't have today. Nice game by Scaurus2000, congratulations!

[J-Reedy]

Eulogy for Joan Montana, a thrower from the amazonian Cougar Kittens team, graciously laid to eternal sleep by apotecharian Hugh House after a crippling injury by wardancer Ohtica

You came to play
to run and to pass
but alas
not to stay

How beautiful was your stance
how gracious your throw
sadly you get no more chance
to shine and glow

Missed you will be, said all of we
kissed your pale cheeks
gave your body to sea
and mourned you for weeks

Rest in peace and play well
be you either in heaven or hell
for no bloodbowler really dies
so there should be no cries
you just moved to a new team
to a place far away in a dream

Kick some butts and score a goal
for forever there will be blood bowl.

[Mr B]

A new touch, splendid!
;)

[J-Reedy]

Oh, I have visitors, how exquisite! My my, why do you look so bashful? Oh, I understand, yes, I'm very beautiful. But just don't upset me, I can be very fierce when angered. So please do behave. Have you been here before? No! Well let me introduce myself, I'm Lady Luck. Yes, the one who is either cursed or thanked everywhere where there's a game of any kind. But you know what? You don't have to answer, that is what they call a rhet-ori-tical question. What was I saying? Oh, now I remember. Yes, you should really be aware that in a matter of fact I rarely meddle on mortal's affairs. You see, it's really boring. Yes, they do pray for me to bring them good luck on a hunting trip or when starting a trip towards unkown. But why should I care? They aren't very nice you know, if I fail to deliver their prayers, they call me slut or a fickle little beast, but they really shouldn't. You know, I can take away their luck any second by giving my blessings to their enemies...
But there is one thing where I really do go and meddle... Can you guess what that is? War? No, no, no, you silly little thing, why should they need luck in a war? They have weapons. Love? I dare not take sides in matters of love, my sister would be really upset. You really don't know, do you? Well, I'll tell you... The place and venue that I watch almost every day and give my blessings willingly.... It's Blood Bowl! Yes! I just love the game! And there are so many little things that I can do! Just a flick of my fingers to bend just one blade of grass under some poor soul's feet to make the ground just a touch too slippery and down he goes. Or maybe I'll whisper in player's ear just as she is about to make a block and distract her enough that she'll miss and go tumbling down. You know, just the other day I had one of my greatest days in fields of Blood Bowl! I was watching the game between two amazonian teams, I just love the amazons, they are almost as beautiful as me and they do not pray for my blessings because they know that women can't trust luck in the world of men. They are so brave! Oh, but I do digress, I was talking about the match. The teams were Jungle Boogie, veterans of three seasons, team full of skilled and famous players, and the young Cougars Kittens, all rookies to the game and fighting bravely on their first season. They really were kittens, most of them just little girls, although they had hired the famous Zara to play for them for one match, but she is just one woman, those little girls should've had no chance against those warrior women of Jungle Boogie.
But they were so beautiful! I just had to make sure that they would not get hurt. I'm a bit partial to beauties you know, being one myself... Oh, I didn't too much on the first half, just made sure that every time one of the boogiers got one those cute Kittens down, I blew just enough wind to bend the grass so that they would not get hurt. And even if I do say myself, I'm a really good at that. You do notice these little perfect lips of mine, don't you? I just have to pucker them up real nice and blow and my breath is like summer wind flowing through air and doing just as I want... And I didn't stop at first half, I did that all through the second half too. The Boogiers really must've wondered why they weren't getting any hits through. You know that the Kittens only had two knock-outs in the first half and just one on the second, that's how good I am! And the other knock-out really wasn't my fault, it's so hard to do anything when a player goes flying into the crowd as violently as Demi did. And the other was just because one really nice looking boy in the stands caught my eye... Lost my concentration there for a second I have to confess. I am a goddess but I do understand charm when I see it...
Oh, look at me rambling again! The match, yes! I have to confess that I also twidged the ball a bit when the Boogier's kicked it to Kittens, just enough to make it bounce off the field. The Kittens were wise and gave the ball to Zara. And for a moment it looked like the Kittens would not need my luck! They were snailing the ball towards Boogiers side. But then that Teri Susan had to slip when dodging for a blitz that would've opened running lane for Zara. I had nothing to do with it, honest! It could've been my dad, Nuffle... Don't know if he was watching. Poor Kittens, that little failed dodge and Boogiers were all over Zara. Got her down eventually and ball went bouncing. I didn't do anything to it, I was occupied because one of favourites, Felicity from the Kittens had made such a beautifull blitz block that I just had to make sure that this one little pebble would hit the Boogier's hip just hard enough to smash it to bits. I did my best to help the Kittens, they were blocking Boogiers without any help but I made sure that they did well. But thhe Boogiers got the ball eventually, managed to even throw it to a catcher at left field. She almost got away but then Felicity made another beautiful play and the ball was loose again. And the half was so close to an end that I thought the Boogiers would not get past the three defenders. But the catcher Andromache is really skillful, you know. And I didn't even have to help her to get that good! At least not much... She blitzed her way to goal free and took the ball to endzone just as the half ended! To be honest, I did try to stop her when she was really going for the goal. She almost slipped at the goal line because I had made sure the painted lines were a bit moist. But I'm sure my dad helped her there, because she stayed on her feet and scored.

She got the ball again, Andromache that is, when the Kittens started the second half kicking the ball so high that she had plenty of time to get under it. And she even got it close to goal again by running near the right edge of the field. Kittens would've had real hard time stopping her from scoring if not for... You know what happened? A great big ball of fire struck from the skies and hit her and one other Boogier so hard that they blew straight off the field. Don't know how that happened, I don't like fire. Could've been one of those pointy hatted old men in the Kittens' luxury box in the stands. The ball bounced on the ground and the Kittens soon got it up. Oh, there was this one Boogie linewoman who tried to take it, but there were just too many Kittens there that she couldn't hold it for long. Then those little Kittens tried to get the ball throgh Boogie defence on the right edge but there was this one Boogier who just wouldn't go down. And there was nothing I could do! I couldn't blow any slippery grass under her feet because she just stood firm and wouldn't budge! The Kittens finally got through at the middle and would've had a clean run for the goal but the Boogiers did just enough to get a knock down blitz on Eva who was carrying a ball. But I was there to make sure that the ball bounced back to Zara! It was real tight and I was so excited that I just had to watch how it all would play out without me! The Kittens' final play was to send the beautiful Kristin downfield for a chance to score. But those nasty Boogiers blitzed her down just before she could get the ball. I was so proud that day! Even though the Kittens lost 1-0 I had managed to make the game really tight and exciting!


And here are the off-character comments: Had some nice luck with one dice blocks on first half, but Krim played good defence and got a last turn TD. Second half would've been fast TD for Krim if not for well-placed Wizard's fireball. Got the ball but spent too much time trying to get through safely at left flank. When I finally took the ball to middle with higher risk, successful blitz took the ball back so much that I didn't have enough time for a good scoring attempt. Krim took care of the only player close enough to score and that was the game. Boogiers just couldn't brake the Kittens armor and when they did, it was mostly stunned.

[Rotty]

Thanks for a tense and well deserved Draw game ToFex! You really earned that draw, evening the score on the very final turn, and I'm still convinced rats are afraid of amazons... Btw you owe me for that +1 Ag Thrower you turned into a pulp ;P.

Flying Boom Bats are once more nerfed to the lowest TV in the league. Please treat them gently.

Cheers!

/Rot

[Konna]

As I mentioned in the match 6 thread I'll be going abroad for a few weeks this thursday and so will have to concede the rest of my matches. I'll try to get to play the current match before that, but I'll happily give the win to staffan if we can't schedule it in time. I guess I calculated that I'd manage to play all the games before the trip as the previous season only had six games and I was confident I wouldn't make the playoffs anyway. I'd be happy to return to NUL late july/early august or at the start of a following season if no one has anything against it. 

[J-Reedy]

HEEEELLLO and welcome to todays match between the necro Silver Hunters and amazon Cougar Kittens! We have an exceptional match waiting for us, lots of maimings and injuries to wait for! The Cougar Kittens have actually prepared for the match by hiring two additional apotecharies! Wise thing for them to do as everyone knows that an experienced necro team full of tacklers and mighty blowing and clawing werewolf will tear this skantly armored rookie amazon team to schreds!

Aaaannd there's the kick-off, aimed right at the head of the Hunters' ghoul at the centre of their own half of the field. But wait, what's happening? A breeze must've caught the ball and has fallen short, landing on the Kittens' side of the field. Looks like the Hunters get the ball without any effort! Aaaand they give to their trusty ghoul. And there goes the amazon line tumbling down! But what, no injuries! What tomfoolery is this, they didn't even brake the armor! But now this is something, this is something! Here comes the werewolf blitz aimed at the Kittens linewoman Jennifer who might be standing just a bit too close to the edge of the field.... There's the first pushback! She's right on the edge! And there she goes and crowd starts pounding on her with all of their might! What a disappointment... looks like she's dodged away from the crowd without any injuries... Back to the game! Let's see what's happening... Oh, oh, another werewolf blitz! And the amazon blitzer goes down! What what, wait, what's that! The were is trying to continue moving and is making a dodge with the tackling Teri Susan right besides him! Oooofff, that must've hurt! And it did! The werewolf's knocked himself out! And the Kittens get to the ball-carrier, he's glued up by Marcia Bree. But there comes the protection, you can always trust the wights to protect the ball-carrier! Down she goes and ball is once again caged safely. We're having a bit of the slowing of pace here, lots of pushing and showing... amazons try to hold the line... WOWWWW!! Did you see that! DID YOU SEE THAT! Two zombies out on the same play! And they didn't regenarate, they're out permanently! What a turn of events, the amazons are actually two up on casualties inflicted! But wait! No the ghoul is making a brake for it! He's scott-free and will surely score! WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT was that bright light! Looked like a flash but there is no thunder! Look, a lighting has struck the ghoul down! Ball is loose. There come the amazons, one is already besides the ball and there comes another one! She's running hard, maybe too hard... OOOFFF.... she's down, tried too hard with too little skill. And here comes the wolf! No dice, couldn't get the blitzer down but the ball is no loose, and the ghoul is getting up... HE GOT the ball up, going for the goal, stopped, playing time... There comes the blitzer, she caught him, they're just at the goal line! The ghoul's going for the blitz! Pushed her back, just all he needs! AND IT'S A TOUCHDOWN!!! 1-0 for the Silver Hunters. 2 zombies permanently out and 2 amazons knocked out, although it looks like that they're already ready to take the field. The knocked out were is also taking the field.
And there's the kick-off! Amazons still have a remote chance to score... AAAND THE CROWD GOES WILD! IT'S A REAL RIOT! GO, GO, HIT 'IM! THAT'S THE SPIRIT! And now the ref's got it under control, but looks like he set the time incorrectly, no chance for the Kittens to score now. But we'll surely see some beautiful blocks! And there they go, down, nothing, down, stunned, down, nothing, their blocking is working like a clockwork but they're soft on their blows. A blitz! And nothing. That's it, end of first half. I'm off the get a beer and maybe even the addressess of those two Bloodweiser Babes I see hanging out at Kittens bench. See you at the second half!

AAAANDDD there's the kick-off. It's a long kick, ball is taking some extra bounces.. and stops just short of Kittens goal line. There go the amazonian catcher twins, looks like Kristin has the ball, protected by Lana and the Blitzer Felicity. WHAT A NICE BLOCK! That zombie won't be getting up! Am I right? Am I right? YES I AM, he's keyoud! They're bringing the ball up, got it caged at the center... Teri Susan's blitzing the other were... AND HE'S OUT! The other were is out again! KO'd! The amazons are taking the necros apart! Wait, what am I saying? Can't be true but I must believe my eyes. They're over the scrimmage line now... Cage's getting a bit loose, they're trying to fix it, she's dodging to cover the open corner.... AND DOWN SHE GOES. Shouldn't have zigged when you were supposed to zag! No dodging today! AND THERE COMES THE LAW FIRM OF WIGHT AND WOLF LAYING DOWN THE LAW! Kristin is down and the ball is out! The Ghoul's got it! Really hard to bring that ghoul down although he is unprotected now that they got the wight down! And here comes Zara the Slayer, let's see what she'll do.. SHE'S GOING FOR THE STAKES! And right at the temple! He's knocked out, ball is scattering where is it? There it is! Just by the two amazons... sorry only one there... the other was brought down.. What's happening, hard to see... WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLAY! The downed wight got up, dodged to get to the ball, picked it up, dodged away and threw the ball perfectly to the Hunters' other wight! I heard that he was an agile beast but didn't know how agile! AND ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL PLAY! This time's its Felicity Lynette! She dodged away from the golem, blitzed the wight down, got the ball, dodged through the golem again is now protected by Zara and rest of the amazon team. There comes the wereblitz! No dice, she shook him off, but she's now surrounded by three necros... AND A NICE handoff to Zara who sprints away! And there's her protection, only the were is fast enought to get to her... There he goes! Going for it, and there's the block! No chance of bringing Zara down without assists! And Zara is returning the favour! Managed to only push the wolf back but that's all she needed! There SHE GOES AND ITTTTTTSSSS AAAA TOUCHDOWN! Score is tied and the time is almost over! Let's see the kickoff, Hunters still have a chance of scoring if they get their kickoff blitz working.... Didn't get it, the ball goes down, good kick. They're just going to lay down the punishment now! There's the wight, block on linewoman... AND HE'S DOWN the wight is down, and that's the end of the match! It's one all in a bit of upset. Tough luck for the Hunters with injuries, or rather lack of them, just one casualty for them and that was fixed by Kittens apotechary. Casualtywise it was far better day for the Kittens, who managed to inflict three of them. Fine and tight match with good defence by both teams, I'm guessing this'll rate well in the spectator ratings. But now I'm to see a babe about some bloodweiser! See you next time!


A bit more formal comments: Armor and injury rolls were extremely lopsided in my favour. Otherwise the dice were fair and game was tight.