Norsca Union League

All Right Golden, it's time for champs against chumps. Here are my OK starting times for this week, all times CET Summer time / GMT+2:

-Thursday 19-20.
- Friday 18-22
- Saturday 10-12
- Sunday 16-19

Let me know if any of these suits you, sir. If not, make a suggestion and I'll try to work something out.

AND IT'S ON! Here are the matchups for the first round of NUL SEASON 7:


As a reminder, you can agree on time for the game whichever way you see fit (e-mail, private message, this forum thread, face to face) but always inform about the agreed match time here in this thread. Home team is officially responsible for making the first contact, but either team can initiate contact.

Let's try to get the first week played within normal time limit (by next Monday, the 14th).

- Good evening sir, how can I help you!
- Me wanna buy paperpiece to see Orkitis bashysmash puny elfs!
- I'm sorry sir, but Orkitis plays in different group than the two elf teams, they won't play the elfs until playoff round, of course provided they get an elf matchup, they might also get the necromantic or the chaos team from the other group.
- Whaa? I WANNA SEE SMASHY!
- Well the Orkitis are playing against a norse team, that should be quite "bashy".
- WANNA SEE ELF SMASHY!
- Well, if you want to see elfs getting "smashed", you might want to try either the Gentlement Wolf-Whistlers versus Virgins No More or the Disorganized Dudes versus Druchii Smuchii Schmoo match, those are two very violent teams against technical teams, they should be entertaining.
- WANNA SEE ORC SMASH E... *KLONK!*
- Good evening my dear lady, excuse me for interrupting your discussion with this sense-derived sleeping person here but it seemed that the discussion was not going anywhere.
- Oh, no bother sir. How can I help you?
- I hear that the second division of the NUL is loaded with human teams this year, that sounds very intriguing. What are the first round matchups?
- It'll be the fresh purely human team Getingarna playing against the norse Dragon Trainers in the first matchup and the other norse team Vinterlegionen going against the Orkitis B.C. in the other matchup.
- Might I then have two tickets to the human-norse game, one for me and for my club here. Should be an interesting game.

Voted Don't care, it's all the same to me. Sorry for being silent so long, the trip to US was more eventfull than I thought so I didn't have lots of time for Internetting, I just glanced at the forums now and then. I just got back yesterday, so I  should get back to normal rhytm in few days.

Quote from: Mr B on April 09, 2012, 01:29:50 PM
Second ended in turn 13/14 or so 1-1 8 orcs vs 11 norse.. if I 'm correct.

Yep, plenty of time for scoring. 8 vs 11 and norse also had the strength advantage, four st4+ players against two of the orcs, AND also the reroll advantage. Orcs would've needed a lucky break or two to take the ball away and score. Although, the orcs had lousy AV luck both with causing fewer armor breaks than expected and getting their armor broken more than expected, so the situation could've corrected itself with orcs getting even normal armor breakage. But with the time on hand and the man, strength and reroll advantage for the norse, getting a win would've been an extremely hard nut to crack. So based on the replay, the Dragon Trainers would've been the more likely winner.

However, replay would be the preferred solution, so I would suggest that you try to get the replay done by Friday/Saturday. If that can't be worked out, I'd call it an admin win for the Dragon Trainers.

Which one of you has hosted the two previous games? If the same player has hosted both games, maybe you should consider switching the host. Provided that both of you have the nescessary port forwards done.

All righty, so it looks like we have two weeks before the scheduled start of the next season. I'd say that gives us time for one replay effort but after that it'll have to be an admin default win for either team. I'll try find time to watch the replay of the second match and chime in later with how the match was going. If I understood correctly, the first match ended at the 7th turn of first half, that seems too early to say anything about but the second match should be easier to judge.

Sorry for not replying earlier, I was on a smallish road trip for the extended weekend and the time difference is not working in my favor either.

QUARTER FINALS SPECIAL

- WELCOME EVERYONE! I'm Gron Grumbundy and today we're bringing you a very special edition of the SPORTS SPOTLIGHT magicast! The reason for the special tag is not the fact that we're broadcasting LIVE, no dear friends. This little magicast is truly special because we're doing the show not from our studios but from the Norsca Union League playoff match! That's right, you heard me correctly. We're live at the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo versus Virgins No More game and the game is scheduled to begin in 10 minutes. We've already seen the coin toss, the druchii called it tails and hig'n mighties decided to receive after the heads showed up. Normally the match would've begun right after the coin toss but these are two elf teams playing and they have their peculiarities. Virgins No More are having the lineage of all their players announced to the crowds and judging by the amount of blood flowing under the DSS locker room's door, they're going through their pre-game prayers. But I'm not bothered about this, as this gives me the opportunity to introduce my co-host and color commentator for the match. He has been called the master of odds, wizard of swindling and king of the gamblers. He is also a former extraordinary successful –meaning that he actually survived almost three seasons and retired from the game unharmed – goblin running back of the orc team Beat Da Odds, welcome Slinky "going for it" Chancey!
- Thank you Gron. Nice introduction but I have to remind you that I've also been nicknamed the The Almost Handsome Goblin and Da Rich Bugger due to my enormously gracious good looks and hard earned fortune.
- Of course, thank you for reminding, it's just that you long-time Blood Bowl gamers tend to rack up those nick-names fast. But as I already mentioned, you're retired and you won your actual fame after your career by starting another career as a pro gambler of Blood Bowl games and becoming very successful – if not the most successful in that profession. What's your secret Slinky? Or do you want to keep it secret?
- Well, I've already earned meself more than I can spend in my lifetime, so maybe I can give you a small peak around the curtains surrounding my success. The fact is that to become a good gambler, you have to be small enough that you can go easily unnoticed and have a good enough hearing. I've been blessed with relatively small size and quite large ears, so you could say I'm a natural. But you also have to willing to work hard and study the matchups, learn about the players, coaches and rest of the staff. Especially about their home addresses and all of the betting parlors near those places. Rest is actually just sitting quietly in a nice parlor of your choice, sipping coffee and looking at who you see and listening what they say.
- Quite interesting if though bit cryptic. Well, could you give us your pick on this match? I've also actually made a small bet, I put some gold pieces on the DSS winning the match.
- How unfortunate. I'm quite convinced the Nomore Virgins take the match and I've actually bet heavily on that.
- Oh! This is a surpise. Well, we'll have plenty of chances to argue for our picks during the game, so let's preview some of the other games. The Orkitis B.C. vs Midget Stuntmen game is actually being played at the same time with this matchup and we should get the results from the game during the half time, so we won't go into that one yet. Let's instead start with the Dragon Trainers – Elvish Blues Bloods match. What's your opinion on these teams and their chances Slinky?
- Both of them are hurting due to injuries and casualties, two of the norse's strongs are missing the game due to injuries and the EBB lost two of their players in the last matchup and one of their linefodder is out for the game. What's funny is that the EBB's casualties and injuries might actually be useful for them, as they are bound to get lot of support and inducements from the league just that they can be convinced to take part in the game. So the game could actually be a lot tighter than it seems. I see the norse as clear favorites skill-wise but you can never count out the natural abilities of the elves.
- Nice analysis Slinky, have to agree with you there. The rookie high elves are just too vulnerable to blocking and Dragon trainers know how to block. We'll have to wait and see in that one but now there won't be any more waiting. Niles the Nun Nailsman just kicked off the ball! It's nice and long kick that lands on the right corner-backfield of Virgins No More. Blocking is already under way on the front line, looks like two linedarkies are down and the Frog-flayer the blitzer has been pushed back! High elf Kavavanlhun opens up the left flank with a blitz and the Virgins rookie catcher Tathron snakes through while their thrower secure the ball!
- Quite normal uppety elf play. They're trying to get their catchers deep and then wait for the passing opportunities. Well that doesn't seem to work as planned.
- Oooh! Nice blitz from the DSS witch elf Polyanna! Looks like it's that time of the month as she frenzied and knocked out Tathron the catcher! But their another witch seems to be more interested in getting some of those handsome high elves lying next to her, as both Angry Anne and her indented target Eitimonion Tathron go down!
- Bad break, this should give the high'n'mighty elves a chance.
- And they're going for it! Elerder the thrower runs forward, cocks his arm and there it goes! Terry the Troll Tortures is trying to jum to intercept but he doesn't even get off the ground! And the blitzer Kavavanlhun catches the ball perfectly! Now all he has to run and that he does. TOUCHDOWN! That was mighty fast!
- It can be with two elf teams. But let's see if the DSS can do some harm on the offence.
- Once-Virgins kick is not as good as the DSS's, it goes quite far but the ball comes down just next to Angry Anne. Ouch! Looks like line-elf Galonren will be taking a nap after that block and there goes Polyanna again! She's definitely got the bad moods! Line-elf Tathron is also taking a nap after that nasty blitz from Polyanna! Meanwhile has the ball and she takes it closer to midfield while other darkies form a loose protective blanket around her. Looks like their opting for the run.
- Yep, protect the ball. Look, uppeties seem to be blanketing the blanket!
- Nice defensive line indeed contouring the dark elf offensive line. But it's not close-knit enough! Angry Lou the Lizard Liquitator and Freddy Frog-Flayer just opened up a hole, Freddy also earned a casualty by taking out Rhuielwa, nothing serious. No Angry Anne is going through the hole like a lightning! She's running fast, like a lightning bolt, she's clear, not much more to go! Lightning fast I say she is! LIGHTNING! Did you see that!
- Yep, it was a lightning bolt. I was half expecting that. Looks like it came from C stands. Must've been Maurice the Magnificent who had a ticket for row 6 seat 14 at C section. Lives at 146 of the Wizard's lane, Huffington which is situated quite close to Honest Pete's betting parlor where Maurice is actually highly regarded as a regular patron. Probably because he spends quite a sum betting the games and probably also because he is fast to anger and quite loose with his lightning bolts. Maurice also likes teams that tend to throw a lot. Bets heavily on them.
- Oh. Does Pete's place have good coffee?
- Quite nice, although last week I had one or two cups that had been standing on the boiler too long.
- This is true pro at work folks, I give you Slinky Chancey. Back to game! While we were chatting Tantansyr of the once-Virgins ran to pick up the ball and threw it to catcher Elerdel. Ball is quite secure but DSS are opening up space and there goes Polyanna! It's a blitz, but she's running awfully close to Tantansyr, let's see if she can dodge him!
- No she can't. Typical broad stuff. Always falling head over heels in front of those handsome noble-elves.
- SHE'S HURT! Oh, it's only bad hurt, nothing serious. Failed her dodge honestly there. Elerdel is running the for the left flank and now he is caged up tighter than a virgin's door in an ill-reputed inn. DSS get no chance to break the cage, they're just trying to tie the high elves. No luck there, high ones simply dodge out and go a bit further. Now we have a blitz for the ball! Running, dodge, FAIL!
- And it's another TD.
- 2-0 for the Virgins No More! DSS still have a chance, shallow kick, Angry Anne gets the ball, launches it, Terry, Tortures of Trolls catches it and runs for the goal! He has to dodge through that hole... Ouch! That must've hurt! Did you see who tripped him?
- No, could've been just one of those capes that the uppety elves flog around. Can't understand why they wear them in a Blood Bowl game?
- It's truly one of the mysteries of the game. I mean I would've thought they'd go out of fashion after the successful career of Duh "Whirlytrolly" Dam. You remember him? The Troll blitzer. Who invented the patented Cape Twister^tm move?
- Oh right! One where he would grab end of some high elf blitzer's cape and start spinning the player around! That was nice. And effective too. He would usually get two or three other players down with the swinging before the cape would break. Just too bad that Whirlytrolly was too dum to see who he was hitting with his flying elf toy.
- Magnificent player indeed. Well folks, the halftime has started and the teams are scheming in their locker rooms. Now it's time to take a look at the results of the Orkitis B.C. versus Midget Stuntmen game, just got them delivered by an Instaspell. We have whoosy here! How do you think the match went Slinky?
- I didn't analyze that one, too difficult, orc players tend to be too stupid to know that they can bet on their games and dwarfs are just too stingy to give up any of their gold. But there probably weren't much casualties with so many tough armors around.
- Well, you're relatively right there, only three casualties. And the result was a 2-0 victory which is quite normal for this kind matchup with too bashy running teams. Oh, Orkitis won. But what is the whoosy part in this game is that two dwarfs were killed!
- WHAT! That's just crazy odds! I'd get ten thousand to one odds from any agency for a one gold piece bet of there being two dwarf deaths in one game.
- Remember, this isn't the first time with two deaths in a game with Orkitis. Elvish Blues Bloods also lost two of their players against Orkitis just lost week! The two dwarfs that went under were Alglid, the Stuntmen's star runner – that'll hurt the dwarfs indeed – and Drongak the blocker. Rokzig was the orc that took down Alglid. Drongak is rumored to have slipped on his beard and snapped his neck while dodging.
- That's just nasty. Oh, looks like the game is about to continue...
- Right you are Slinky. Virgins No More just kicked off! Max Murder gets the ball, goes to the centre and DSS cage up. Terry the Troll-Torturer is going deep, gets blitzed but stays on his feet. Freddy Frog-Frayer opens up a hole with a blitz, runs deep. AND now he got the ball! Max Murder ran through the hole after Freddy and tossed the ball to him!  VNM's blitzer Norosume is trying to take Freddy down! No dice there but Freddy gets pushed back. He's right next to sidelines, let's see if he can get out of there before he goes surfing!
- I think one of those high elfs guarding him is more likely surfer if Angry Anne succeeds with that blitz...
- Didn't happen, but Norosume goes down and Freddy is free after a nice dodge. Looks like he's going for a throw! Terry is wide open! Good pass! Terry fumbles! No, he caught it! Just running now and.... IT'S A TOUCHDOWN! We have a scoring game! 2 for the Virgins No More and 1 for the Druchii Smuchii Schmoo!
- It should be high elf's game with them getting the kick-off but let's see.
- Niles kicks off again... AND THE CROWD TAKES THE FIELD! IT'S A PITCH INVASION! Look, the gates of section B have been opened! Someone must've thought the game was a bit of a bore!
- Must've been DSS supporter considering B stand is the shadowed section reserved for those more sensitive to light... Looks like they got 5 high elfs down and the kick is good for this situation.
- Yes indeed, a shallow kick and the ball is very close to line of scrimmage... Correction, ball was very close to center, now the ball is deep in Virgins No More side of the field after a pick-up and a pass by Madirina the line-elf. Elerdel the thrower is holding the ball. And now this is getting exciting! Just three high elves left standing, but unfortunately for the darkies Elerdel is too deep and the DSS players can't get to him! And now Tathron the catcher gets up! He is through the DSS line and Eledrel sees it! He's running closer to get a more controlled pass! And there it goes! Perfect pass again and catcher Tathron has the ball! Kavavanlhun and Tahtron – the line-elf – not sure if he's related to the catcher Tahtron holding the ball are guarding him. There come the DSS! Bud Bludgeon opens up some space with a nice block. And it's a casualty! Looks like a bad injury but not a serious one! That gives Max Murder a blitzing chance and he's taking it! NO! Another dodge fail! Druchii are just not staying on their feet today! There goes Tathron, just a simple run. He is so fast he doesn't even have to try. AND IT'S A TD!
- I think this game is over and done.
- Yes, DSS really need a miracle to take this home as a win. But let's just wait and see. Miracles seem to be quite common on the fields of Blood Bowl. All righty, not with that kick-off! Crowd goes wild again! It's a riot! AND WHAT IS THE REF DOING! The game clock is running even though nothing is happening, just scandalous!
- Yes, I seem to recall the judge responsible for clocking was Mice "Smashypants" Raddy, 8 of Rollington Ave, Badmouth, close to Disillusioned Dan's Betting Gonanza establishment. Rumor has it that quite a large bet was made there by a gentlemen wearing trousers that look like they had been beaten with rocks repeatedly.
- I have to give it you Slinky, you really know your stuff. I should've asked you before making the bet. But it's not late with one match! Do you have any extra info on the quarter finals match between the Vinterlegionen and Disorganized Dudes?
- Nothing as sure fire than I had in this match. But I'll probably be placing small bet on one or the other team. Haven't yet figured out which team though. The norse are lacking in armor and the chaos dudes are experienced enough to survive a blocking battle that every match against norse eventually turns into. But on the other hand the winter folks have been playing well and they have a puncher's chance, especially if they manage to take the game to sidelines where they're berzerkers can work their magic.
- Thank you for the comments Slinky. Oh, the match seems to have been whistled over and done with. So Virgins No More took home a bit of an upset victory over the last season's champs. In my opinion the key factor in this game was the abysmal dodging of the DSS, that just took away too many manageable blitzing chances. Well, as the match is quieting down, our magicaster wizards seem eager to leave the booth and go visit the refreshment stands. So I have to bid you adieu dear friends. Tune in during the next playoff rounds, we'll probably be bringing you something special also next time! But now we must be off like a part-time lover from the boudoir of a lady. I've been Gron Grumbundy and this has been Blood Sports Spotlight special. Have a bloody good Blood Bowling week!

Quote from: Mr B on March 23, 2012, 10:37:15 PM

Quote from: J-Reedy on March 23, 2012, 08:08:22 PM
Yo B! Time for your norse to inspire some whailing and crying blues tunes. Unfortunately my blues group has some medical issues and I can't bring the original band to the game but I'll try to get some decent temps who know how to hold a tune. Here are my OK times for the next few days (CET/GMT+1):

- Saturday 24th: any time after 15
- Sunday: 15-19
- Tuesday 17-20
- Wednesday 17.30-21

I'd prefer getting the game out of the way before Thursday as I'll probably be quite busy preparing for my trip at the end of the week. But if any of those times mentioned don't suit you, sir, I can find me some time for playing on Thursday- early Saturday.
Tomorrow (Saturday 24th) I'll be on errands during the day, but I'll check the forum at morning and after I get home (some time before 15.00) in case Saturday will be OK for you.

Hmm.. lets see how Sunday evening will turnout, els I think Wednesday can be planed. Evening of course.
Sunday feel unsure at the moment...

Cheers!
/B

Sorry that I haven't commented earlier, been busy with all kinds of stuff. But Wednesday is still OK, just let me know your preferred time.

Signing in for season 7. If there will be lots of new teams, I'll probably continue with the uppety elfs, otherwise I'll bring Wolf-Whistlers to the frey.

Yo B! Time for your norse to inspire some whailing and crying blues tunes. Unfortunately my blues group has some medical issues and I can't bring the original band to the game but I'll try to get some decent temps who know how to hold a tune. Here are my OK times for the next few days (CET/GMT+1):

- Saturday 24th: any time after 15
- Sunday: 15-19
- Tuesday 17-20
- Wednesday 17.30-21

I'd prefer getting the game out of the way before Thursday as I'll probably be quite busy preparing for my trip at the end of the week. But if any of those times mentioned don't suit you, sir, I can find me some time for playing on Thursday- early Saturday.
Tomorrow (Saturday 24th) I'll be on errands during the day, but I'll check the forum at morning and after I get home (some time before 15.00) in case Saturday will be OK for you.

Elvish Blues-Blooded Brothers bring you their lates wailing blues tune from deep down their hearts

GREEN DON'T MIX WITH BLUES
                 OR
   THE MEMORIAL BLUES OF
    RICKY "RABBIT" BROWN
                AND
        HOWLIN' WOLFER

Them green orc guys
Them black orc guys
Them didn't brake me but I'm so bent
As I now remember Ricky's sway
As I remember Wolfer's funny way
As they both lie dead
My heart fills with lead
Them green orc guys
Them black orc guys
They killed my mates away
Them gone and killed them away

A little bit of luck dont't take ya far
When you got none, you better off boozing in a bar
When green mixes with blues
You better just get ya some booze
Cause blues don't mix with a green
'n blues don't get away clean

Them didn't brake me but I'm so bent
Them dead mates of mine
With a broken skull'n spine
Them broke them and now I'm so bent

Wizard on a rent may seem great
But he dont' help you with a dead mate
Doctor on a rent may seem straight
But he don't help you with a dead mate
And if you're talkin' about a poor elf's friend
Grave will get him now as I'm so bent

Them didn't brake me but I'm so bent
Them green orc guys
Them black orc guys
Them didn't brake me but I'm so bent


-----------------------------
Coachy comments: Two turns, two dead high elfs, two apotecharies spent. Two points of spps from two passes. Too much two-skulls. Two-zero win for Luigi's Orkitis.

REGULAR SEASON REVIEW WEEK

- WELCOME DEAR FRIENDS! It's once again time for arguably the best blood bowl magicast out there, our lovely little thing we call BLOOD SPORTS SPOTLIGHT! I'm Gron Grumbundy and we'll be talking about the the magnificent league they call Norsca Union League or NUL. The league has been in high gear since we last aired. It's been only week and a half since our last magicast but already all but one game have been played. I'll go through the results fast before we start the discussion with our very special guest. In the Tuna division's first week matchups Druchii Smuchii Schmoo upended Orkitis B.C. 3-0 and Vinterlegionen defeated Elvish Blues Bloods 2-0. In Sharks division Dragon Trainers beat Disorganized Dudes 2-1 while Virgins No More and Midget Stuntmen played a 2 all draw. The second week of the league was a week of ties, as the Virgins No More managed another 2 all draw, this time against the Dragon Trainers, the Disorganized Dudes also drew 1-1 against the Midget Stuntmen and in tuna neither Vinterlegionen nor Orkitis managed to score so their match naturally ended 0-0. Only team that took home a win in week 2 were the DSS who whopped the EBB 4 to 0. As I mentioned, three of the week 3 games have already been played. The DSS made sure that they take home the 1st place in the Tuna group by scoring 3 touchdowns against the 0 the Vinterlegionen. In the Sharks the Disorganized Dudes beat the Virgins No more 3-1 and the Dragon Trainers weren't very kind to the visiting Midget Stuntmen as they beat them 2-0 win. Although, it should be mentioned that the dwarfs also got to do some beating of their own as two norse players will be out of the first round of playoffs. Now it is time to bring in our very special guest! You know, we have talked about many players in this magicast and almost every time we do it because the players in question have done something extra-ordinary like scoring tons of touchdowns or casualties or injuring themselves in some horrendous or humorous ways. And more often than not the players we talk about are blitzers, witch elfs, chaos warriors, mummies or some other so called positional players. But we tend to forget that the back-bone of every team is the sturdy lineman! And these unsung heroes have a union of their own – Survivor's Guild. Tonight it is my pleasure to welcome the current chairman of the Survivor's Guild and the once lineman of the The Middenheim Middletons, welcome Joe Smitty!
- Thank you Gron.
- Now I must admit that I have never heard your name before although I've followed every Blood Bowl league out there avidly since I was born...
- Thank you very much! You know, that's the highest compliment you can give to a true lineman.
– ...You're welcome, I guess. But as I was saying, I had to look up your stats and I have to say they truly are amazing. According to the official Middenland league's statistics you played in all of your team's games for 16 straight seasons, is that really true?
– Yes that is. And I'm proud to say, that I only ever had to touch the ball the once when my fellow lineman Mike Johnson accidently caught the ball on the bounce and he – very wisely and acting like a true lineman should – threw the ball to me almost the same second he had secured it. Unfortunately he wasn't quite fast enough as he was blitzed by the opposing minotaur just as soon as the ball left his hand. He got a serious concussion out of that and developed also a nervous twitch every time he saw the ball from then on.
– I take you didn't suffer the same fate as you're still quite coherent?
– Oh no, I didn't even try to catch the ball, I just swatted it towards our blitzer, Luke the Legendary. He of course caught the ball and I was awarded a pass on that one, which was quite unfortunate.
– Now were getting to the reason you're here. I should think that every Blood Bowl player would like to get their name in the paper – either by scoring, passing, blocking or doing some other heroics related to game. However, your union of linemen, the Survivor's Guild has very different idea about that aspect of the game. Could you please explain why the pass stat you were awarded with was such a bad thing in your opinion?
– It's quite simple Gron. You know, some of the players out there play for glory, honor and fame and some of the more foolish one even for the love of the game. But the most clever and skilled ones out there only do it for the money and to be honest about it, most of these sound-minded individuals are linemen. And when you're playing to feed your family and keep your kid clothed, you should consider the game as your job. And the universal truth is that you should never do your job in such a way that it attracts attention to yourself. That does not mean that you should do your job poorly, it's just that you should be adequate enough to keep your job and – what's probably the most important – your life. Blood Bowl is very very very dangerous sport and every time you do something foolish – or heroic as some uninformed punters call it – you're attracting attention to yourself and that means you're more likely to get flattened during the next play or in the following games. The pass that I was awarded with is a perfect example of that. You know  Luke went on and scored from that "pass" and they called it "a brilliant quick pass that was a show of extraordinary reflexes from the very promising young lineman" in the following morning's press. The next two games I was shadowed by opposing players everywhere I went. I have never ran so fast and I actually needed some luck in surviving that ordeal. Luckily the situation went back to normal quite fast as I returned back to normal form.
– Speaking of your normal form, let's get back to your stats. As I mentioned, you played in every match your team played for 16 seasons. That's just shy of 300 games with the playoff games counted in. Considering the amount of games, your stats are just amazing. No touchdowns, 1 reception, 1 pass –accidental according to your own testimony, 3 casualties inflicted, 1 injury suffered – not a serious one as you didn't miss any games I assume, knocked out 19 times and 2 mvps awarded. Now, I have two questions: First of all, how can your numbers be this low, and second, how on earth did you keep your job for 16 seasons?
– It's all in the art of true linemanry Gron. As I hinted, you have to be good enough to be considered useful by your own coach and bad enough not to be considered a threat by the opposing coach and players. That is the mantra I followed throughout my all carrier and I have to say, I earned a good enough living from that to be able to retire after 16 seasons.
– But this just unbelievable... 16 seasons and you claim you only touched the ball once? What did you do on the field?
– That's simple. I stayed as far away from the ball as I could but still close enough that I was a benefit to my team. My favorite place on the field was on attack, following 5 yards behind our ball carrier, guarding the rear. That's really the safest place out there, as most blitzes tend to come from the front. But the rear still must be guarded and I have to say was excellent at that. I actually earned two of my inflicted casualties when an opposing blitzer tried to take me down in order to get on the heels of our ball-carrier. I blocked the bejezus out them as I really don't appreciate opponents trying to hurt me.
– So you actually must've been quite a skilled player in order to bring down opposing blitzers?
– Of course, I wouldn't have been able to keep my place in the team if I wasn't. I knew how to block and I was an excellent wrestler and I could fend off anyone who tried to block me.
– That sounds like a very defensive skill set.
– Yes, that might be true but you should understand that every skill that keeps you out of harm's way is a good skill. I might've gone for the tackling skills and hit the gym to develop my strength and hitting power but that's just inviting trouble - like walking into a orc bar wearing a goblinskull necklace. Take Luke the Legendary for example. You know, he started the same time with me. Good lad, but as simple as Troll's game strategy. He was all for heroics and that kind of tom-foolery and from the start he trained on tackling, blitzing, leaping, catching and all that kind of silly stuff. And I must admit he got good. Once scored 4 touchdowns and 3 casualties in a single game. And he did earn as much in three seasons as I did in seven. And he's still playing. It's just that he's doing it as a zombie in the Altdorf Deep Dwellers. He "transferred" there at the end of his third season when he tried to leap over Longtall "Mad Mommy" McSully and landed straight into her lap. Mad Mommy wasn't fast but she was strong for sure and she still had an eye for handsome lads, so Luke didn't stand a chance, got hugged to death and then resurrected by the Deep Dwellers coach.
– Alright Joe, I think we've gotten a good picture of your union's philosophy. Let's get back to NUL now. I understand you've been following this fine league quite closely?
– Yes, that's true. We in the Survivor's Guild follow all of the leagues and keep our eye on the promising players that could be worthy enough to be considered for the prestigious True Lineman of the Year award that we give out every year.
– OK, so could you give us a hint as to which players have caught your eye?
– Sure. Let's start with the Midget Stuntmen. Dwarfs usually make good linemen, they're down to earth – literally –,don't go for heroics and have natural defences. So it's no surprise that the Stuntmen have many noteworthy linemen but there is one that stands out and that is Drongak. He's played in all 14 of the Midget Stuntmen's games. He has been forced to score one touchdown but has otherwise managed to avoid touching the ball much. And what's more important, he has developed into a fine dodger which is quite rare for a dwarf but comes in very handy when you're trying to survive the game and make the living. Really promising lineman.
– You mentioned surviving. The veteran norse team Dragon Trainers have had real troubles with their player's survivability, is there anybody left who could be considered a "true lineman"?
– Yes there is. Fishlegs. 14 out of 14 games, one touchdown, a pair of receptions and one injury suffered. Trainers seem to be relying heavily on their positionals and as you hinted, they must be feeding their linemen to their dragons or something, as only two of their linemen have survived all of their games. This makes Fishlegs' performance even more spectacular, to be able survive and prosper in such an inhospitable environment. One other team that has gone through a rough patch is the Disorganized Dudes. So it's only natural, that they have no truly successful lineman. The closest one to being such is Shilow Tail, whose managed to survive all of their games but has develop a noticeable skill – noticeable by opponent coaches and blitzers that is, which always spells trouble – namely mighty blow. So he could get targeted much more in the future.
– What about the last years champs? Druchii Smuchii Schmoo seems to be full of capable or as you call them – foolish – players. Could anyone of the dark elfs be considered to be following the lineman mantra?
– Definitely! I think they have one of the most outstanding linemen in the league! Bud Bludgeon. I mean he has earned six – count them, SIX! – MVPs basically just standing on the field. He has passed the ball twice but I think that has only happened because he has also caught the ball twice and he has wisely decided to get rid of the ball as fast as possible. He has caught some attention by inflicting two casualties, but that is allowed if you don't become a casualty yourself and that is something Bud has avoided. In the matter of fact, he has only been knocked out one time, and not been injured even once. And the skill set he has developed, it's just perfect for a true lineman! He can dodge, he can guard and what's more important, he can wrestle! You have to score a perfect block or be a very skilled tackler to get him down! I see promising future for this young elf if he just manages to keep his head and stay out of the way of the ball.
– What about the orcs? I assume the traditional orkish play style doesn't favor linemen?
– It is true that the philosophy of Waagh! is a troublesome match for the true lineman philosophy. The physical style has caused Glulor of Orkitis B.C. to miss one of their games due to injury and he has been injured a total 4 times, but otherwise this young orc lineman has played a remarkably stellar lineman game. Only two receptions, 20 yards of running and no other signs of foolishness. And if you can't avoid staying out of trouble because of your team's style of the play, the ability to survive injuries becomes the most important skill a lineman can have and Glulor has proven he has that skill.
– So what about the two rookie teams? They've only played a couple of games, can you make any calls on them yet?
- It's true that the rookie teams are hard to judge because of small amount of games played but I must say that Börksvein of Vinterlegionen is showing a promising stat line with almost pure zeros. He has only made one block and been knocked out once so he must be doing a good job of not getting attention. High elves teams are also usually teams that have a playing style that's not suited for the wise linemen. They simply pass the ball around too much. But I must say that Howlin' Wolfer of the EBB has an impressive stat line: only one block made against him but no other sign of heroics as it's all zeroes after that. But as I said, these rookie teams are hard to judge so we can't say anything definite until at least a handful of games have been played.
– Well, one of those games will be the final game of the week three where the Orkitis B.C. travel to Elvish Blues Bloods' Bepopaloo Stadium. The orcs are clear favorites as the EBB has had real difficulties in getting their groove on. Do you have an opinion on this matchup Joe?
– This is tough game to call for me, as both teams play a style that really isn't suited for linemen. Elves style tends to be closer to the lineman style as they usually avoid physical play but I fear that the Orkitis has just too much of foolish heroes that decide the game in the orcs favor.
– Now, if your prediction proves to be correct, that would mean that Orkitis would take either the second or third place in the Tuna division depending on their TD differential. Vinterlegionen would end up second or third and EBB would take the last place. DSS has already secured the first place. If the game would end in a draw, Vinterlegionen would finish second, Orkitis third and EBB fourth. EBB victory would take them third – unless they win by 6 touchdowns to end up second which is quite impossible – and Orkitis would secure the fourth place. The order of the Sharks division has already been set as Dragon Trainers first, Disorganised Dudes second, Midget Stuntmen third and Virgins No More fourth.
– Gron, have I understood correctly that all four teams from both groups advance to playoffs?
– That's right Joe. And the playoff picture looks like this: One pairing has been locked up and that's Druchii Smuchii Schmoo versus Virgins No More. The other pairings depend on the result of the last Tuna game. Dragon Trainers have two possible opponents, the most likely of them being Elvish Blues Bloods. Orkitis will travel to Dragon Trainers only if they lose to EBB. The opponents for the chaos Dudes and dwarf Stuntmen are still quite open, although the most likely duo of opponents for these two teams is Orkitis B.C. and Vinterlegionen.
– So basically you're saying that you really can't say anything surefire about the playoff matchups until the ref whistles the last game over or the crowd storms the field and the match is declared over?
– That's the situation Joe. Now as our time is running out, I must thank you for your visit. It was refreshing to hear about your alternative blood bowl philosophy.
– The pleasure was all mine Gron.
– All right folks! We try to get back on the air before the playoffs begin to evaluate the matchups but don't' be disappointed if we can't make it. The games have been played with a pace as fast as a skink chased by a werewolf so we might end up broadcasting later than anticipated but we'll surely be there to give you all the NUL information you want and need. Now we must be off. I've been Gron Grumbundy and I wish you bloody good Blood Bowling week! Have a week!

Quote from: Luiggi on March 20, 2012, 12:54:11 PM
Hello, J-Reedy, sorry for the late reply, I was out of town until now.

The best time for me will probably be Thursday 19.00 GMT +1. I might be able to play it on Wednesday at 20.00, in which case I'll write you a message that same day, just in case you're around and with no other appointments.

Either Wednesday or Thursday is OK, I have no preference, so it's your call. I'll be online on Wednesday during the day till about 14 and then from about 18 onwards, so I should catch your message if you want to massacre my uppety elfs already tomorrow.

Hi Luiggi. Here are my OK times for the next few days (CET/GMT+1), Friday and Saturday I'm busy, so the schedule starts at Sunday:

- Sunday 15-20.
- Tuesday 17-20
- Wednesday 18-21
- Thursday 17-20

Let me know if any of these suits you, sir. Rest of the week is hazy, will update if nescessary.

And I thinks we have had the fastest round of games ever, as it's just friday and all of the week 2 games have already been played. The match day hasn't advanced yet, but Mr B. or Golden will probably admin that later today, so here are the matchups for the week 3:


Both groups have almost everything open considering the playoff rounds, there are bunch of scenarios as to the playoff matchups. Only sure things that can be said, is that the Sharks winner will play Elvish Blues Brothers (if they lose or tie to) / Orkitis B.C (if they lose to EBB) and that Sharks loser will play Druchii Smuchii Schmoo (if they win or tie to) / Vinterlegionen (if they win DSS).

SUFFERING FROM DROUGHT?

YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED - LOOK NO FURTHER!

If your fields are suffering from draught and the last time you had rain was many fortnights ago, do not be worried. There is a simple solution to your problems! Just book the Elvish Blues Bloods to perform on your field and you're sure to get rain as long as the lads of the EBB stay on your field. And it's none of that sissy trinkling rain that you sometimes get, we're talking about good sized drops of water that soak into the field and make everything slippery and dippery. So call now and book Elvish Blues Bloods if you want rain!  EBB - a 100 % success rate with rain!*

"Our field was all cracked up and dry from the harsh winter and the long-lasting spring drought. But then the EBB came to play and it was like the flood-gates of heaven opened! The rain started as soon as they stepped on the field and it kept on raining for all of the game! Never before have we had such an even and ample rain this far north. I recommend them highly!", Graz Svenly, groundskeeper of the Vinterlegionen stadium.**

*Historical performance. No guarantees about future performance.
**Embellished quote. Actual quote was "Them grounds werr all crackedy and dry as me wife's nooshy from tha' winter and from that buggering sun tha' kept on shining all sping like. But tha' was 'fore those bastard so called high 'n mity elf folks came to play. Then 'twas like Tor had downed a keg of tha finest ale n' then pissed it straight on to ground. The pissing started right as the b'stards took tha field and Tor must've kept on drinkn' as he pissed 'cause it lasted all of tha game! Yaar, ain't so common those kinds of long and steady rains this far up tha butt of tha north. Can't say I like those arrogant b'stards but I guess them keeps on getting Tor pissing so they're good for me job!