Norsca Union League

Quote from: Rotty on September 24, 2011, 01:12:38 AM
Lol !

Thanks for the great re-cap Reedy. Almost made the loss bearable :)

You ain't a Terry Pratchett fan by any chance? I this was a book I'd bet it was Pratchett who'd written it. You should go pro as a writer.

Thanks for the kind words Rotty! And you guessed it right, I'm a Pratchett fan, I've read all his books except for the latest one, I Shall Wear Midnight, so I'm sure there may be Pratchety signs in my writing although I'm not conciously putting them in :)

MY DAY AT THE PLUDDING OWL MATCH WITH ME MOMMY
by Agatha Sweetybunny, 6 years old

Last night my Mommy told me that she was going to see a pludding owl match and that I could go with her as she would not ever again want to see that little harlot of the babysitter in our home. I asked me Mommy what a harlot was and she told me that it was a lady who was very very nice daddies even though she should not be so nice to daddies as mommies did not like it. I think I am a really big harlot because I love my daddy so much! My Mommy told me that I would probably like the match as there would be lots of furry mice playing the game and I really like furry animals! I really really really really love them! Mommy also said that there would be pretty ladies playing and we would say good things to them because they are my Mommy's favourity pludding owl team.
The pludding owl match was really noisy place and there were not any owls but there were lots of people who knew very many words that I have never heard before and I just can wait to tell them to my teacher miss Prune. She is very wise and I want to see if she can tell what those funny words like grotchsucker and cunty bitch mean. And then Mommy got me Ice Cream! And Candy! And I also got a Fancy Hat that said Cougar Kitten in it and my Mommy said that I would some day surely be the prettiest Cougar ever and would have no trouble founding pray. I do not know what Mommy ment but I am sure it was nice as she said I am pretty. There were also lots of pretty ladies standing on the grass as Mommy had said. I counted them all and there were two hands and one finger in all. And then there were Furry Cutey Cuddly Mice Men! They were standing on the other side of the grass and there was also two hands and one finger of them. Then there came a man who pretended to be a zebra but I knew he was not zebra because he did not have a tail and he carried something that he gave to one of those pretty ladies and my Mommy said that it was the ball. But I think Mommy is wrong because I saw clearly that it was not a ball but a pointed prolate sphredoid made out of some kind of animal skin material. But I will say it is a ball because my Mommy is the bestest Mommy in the world and she is right in everything. Except when she says that I can not have Ice Cream anymore, then she is being a big meany!
The pretty lady who got the ball threw it in the air and then kicked it! It flew all the way to the side of the grass where the Cutey Cuddly Furry Kissy Mice Men were standing and landed near the side of the grass. Then the Cutey Furry Kissy Mice Men started running and bumping into the pretty ladies and I got scared and almost started crying when one of Furry Cuddly Mice Men who my Mommy told me was Deedle Blade which I think is a pretty name hit one of the pretty ladies who my Mommy told me was the kicker Maria which I think is even prettier name and then the lady Maria's neck went all funny and and they carried him fast out of the grass and I was really worried as I could not see her anymore. But my Mommy told me that her favourite team had this really clever and good doctor Hugh who had fixed her and that she was not dead anymore. I did not know what dead was so I asked my Mommy and she told me it was the place where my Furry Cuddly Kissy Huggy Hamster Mister Funny Whiskers had gone when I had hugged him so much that he had gone all limpy and quiet.
There was also one big Mice Man who was not as pretty as the other Furry Cuddly Mice Men and Mommy told me he was called Ratatosk which I think is not a pretty name and he also bumbed into this pretty lady who Mommy told was Anne and then they also carried her out from the grass but she would not come back as my Mommy said she had been Badly Hugged. I did not know that you could hug someone badly. I think I will never hug badly as I am a really good hugger! While the other Cutey-Cuddly Furry Mice Men were bumping into pretty ladies there was this one really Tiiny Cuddly Cutey Furry Kissy Huggy Mice Man who ran to pick up the ball and then I think he did not like it very much because he then threw it away to another Tiny Cuddly Lovely Furry Kissy Huggy Mice Man who started to run really fast towards that side of the grass were all the pretty ladies had been standing but then there were not so many pretty ladies anymore. One of them who my Mommy said was Courteney was carried out because the not so cute Furry Ratatosk had bumbed into her and Mommy said that Courteney would not probably play in the next pludding owl match where the pretty ladies would play. The Cutey Cuddly Huggy Mice Man carrying the ball who was called Nifty Swifturs which I think is a really funny and pretty name ran very close to the edge of the grass when this pretty lady who was Teri Susan caught him and bumped into him and he fell down and dropped the ball but then he got up after one other Cutey Cuddly Furry Kissy Mice Man had bumped into Teri Susan and she had fallen down and then Mister Swiftfurs picked up the ball and then the zebra man blew his whistle and half of the people started saying nice things and the other ones like my Mommy were very angry and were saying something I think is not nice. My Mommy said that the pretty ladies were now down one to nothing but that now they would get the ball.
But the pretty ladies did not get the ball even though the Cutey Cuddly Furry Kissy Mice Men kicked it to them because then the Furry Kissy Mice Men started running very fast and Mommy said that the little buggers were blitzing during the kick-off. I do not know what that means but the Mice Men started to bumping into pretty ladies like they had done before and of the Furry Kissy Mice Men ran to the place where the ball was coming but then the ball bounced of the Mice Man's head and landed into ground where there were lots of Kissy Huggy Furry Mice Men around. Then the pretty ladies started bumping into Furry Kissy Mice Men but then this pretty lady who Mommy said was the new catcher Jennifer Cameron tried to bump into one of the Furry Cutey Cuddly Mice Men and they both fell down and then they carried Jennifer Cameron out from the grass and Mommy said she would not also play in the next match of the pretty ladies. Then one of the Furry Kissy Cutey Mice Men took the ball but then one of the pretty ladies bumped into him and he went down and was carried also out and Mommy said he was Kei Ou which I think is funny name. Kei Ou dropped the ball and then another Furry Cutey Mice Man fell on the ball and it bounced onto yet another Furry Cuddly Cute Mice Man who took it. But then he tried to bump into one of the pretty ladies and I think he did not know how to do it well because he fell down and dropped the ball. Then one of the pretty ladies who was Cameron picked up the ball and started to run to the opposite end of the grass where the Furry Kissy Mice Man had ran earlier. And she ran very fast and she got into the end of grass in the Nick of time as my Mommy said. I think Nick is the man who comes to see Mommy when daddy is not home because Mommy screamed as happy sounds as she always screams when Nick is visiting when Cameron got into the grass. Mommy also said that Teri Susan was really awesome and had helped Cameron like really really much by bumping so hard into the Cutey Cuddly Furry Mice Man Guy on the Coach that he had to carried out and Mommy said he had pinched a nerve.

Then the Furry Mice Men and pretty ladies went away and we and Mommy went to get some more Ice Cream and Candy and Mommy bought herself a grown-up soda because she said she needed something that is stronger than woman. I think that means that Mommy needs a man because Miss Prune told us in school that men are stronger than women but that they are also horny little pigs that should not be trusted. I was thinking really hard about this but I did not have enought time to understand it as the pretty ladies and Furry Cutey Cuddly Mice Men game back onto the grass. The Furry Kissy Mice Men again kicked the ball and it flew out of the grass and then it was given to this pretty lady who Mommy said was Lana Kreukk and she started running and the pretty ladies and the Furry Cuddlies started bumping again and I got really sleepy and then I heard loud noise and I saw that Lana Kreuk was standing at the end of the grass holding the ball and my Mommy was really happy and I was really happy because Mommy was happy. Mommy told me that the pretty ladies had been bumping so hard into the Furry Cuddly Mice Men that there were now eight Kei Ou Mice Men which I think is funny because I thought you could not have same name as other people but maybe Furry Cuddly Cutey Mice Men are different. Mommy also said that Teri Susan Badly Hugged one of the Furry Mice Men and Christina had been very bad because she had hugged two Furry Cutey Cuddly Mice Men so hard that they were now dead.
Then the pretty ladies kicked the ball again but there were only 3 Cutey Cuddly Fluffy Furry Kissy Huggy Mice Men on the grass and nobody did not get the ball and the zebra man blew into his whistle and we went home and Mommy was really happy and was singing really loud and I was happy and was also singing really loud as I had had very very bestest day with Mommy and I had seen lots of Furry Huggy Fluffy Kissy Cuddly Cutey Mice Men and lots of pretty ladies in the puddling owl match!

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And now that the child in me (and maybe also my feminem side) has been satisfied, here are the somewhat clearer comments from the game between my Cougar Kittens and Rotty's Flying Boom Bats BK:
First half started bad for me. The very first or second block almost killed one of my girls but my trusty apotechary managed to safe her. Rat Ogre Ratatosk was on fire, getting two casualties (Badly Hurt and Serious Injury) on the next two turns. Gutter Runner got the ball and scored on the 4th turn and game was 1-0 for the skaven. Rotty got a blitz at the kickoff and I was sure I would soon be down 2-0. But then the luck turned and I managed to get enough rats down to pick up the ball and ran it for the equalising TD at the 8th turn. On the second half tables turned even furher. Rats were getting stunned all around, one of my linewoman killed two rats and when I scored on the 14th turn, there were 8 rats knocked out. Only one got out and as Rotty had only three rats to put on the LOS, the game was practically over. 2-1 for Kittens, Casualties 5-4 also for Kittens.

WEEK 1 RESULTS REVIEW & WEEK 2 SPECULATIONS

- Welcome ya all once again to your favourite magicast Blood Sports Spotlight where we discuss all things Norsca Union League or NUL, as we like to call this magnificant league! I'm Gron Grumbundy and with me today in studio to analyze the week 1 match results and to take a look to the second week is none other than the famous B League running back All "Touchdown" Brandy! Welcome to the show Touchdown!
- Thanks Gron. Just to make sure that everybody knows how I made my nickname, I'll let everyone know that I once scored four touchdowns in a single game! It was late fall and we were playing against the...
- All the Week 1 matches have now been played in Valhalla Cup and Ull's Pasture is only one match short due to unfortunate health issues with the dark elf team Roma Victorius. All of us wish a speedy recovery to the team and it's coach, our thoughts are with you. But the game must go on and now it's time to take a look at the results from the first week. Any surprises there Touchdown?
- ..."Spare Tire" Nixon was coming towards me at full speed. Just as he was about to hit me, I hunched down and leaped over him! While I was airborne, I kicked his helmet for some extra forward momentum and saw his neck snap like a...
- Ok... Lovely analysis there Touchdown... Well, nothing really upsetting at Valhalla Cup. However, the 1-1 draw between the amazonian teams Jungle_Boogie and Cougar Kittens could be considered a bit of a surprise, as there is quite a significant gap between the two teams player material. To my understanding the Jungle_Boogie were closer to victory and only a last second slip-up on a turf moistened by blood prevented the Jungle_Boogie getting a well deserved win. There was also one death in the match, Cougar Kittens lost their best receiver to the advances of the avid crowd. Unfortunate but violence is part of the game of Blood Bowl, there's no denying that! Am I right or am I absolutely right Touchdown?
- ...I felt how my back tooth came loose and I spat it out to his face. It went through like a sharp axe through a soft goblin skull and he started screaming like a little girl and let go of me to cover his eye with his hands so naturally I hit...
- Right I am! And the first round of Valhalla Cup really was violent! The death of the amazonian receiver was not the only permanent casualty we got to witness. The match between the skaven Flying Boom Bats BK and human Other Brothers prooved to be real blood bath! Skavens won the match 2-1 but the real news is the duo of deaths that the Other Brothers suffered! One of the players they lost was their star receiver Akusti Koskela who I had high hopes for! And we've also had some reports that there were quite a big number of dwarfs in the crowd which might explain the Other Brothers Ogre was targeted by serious barrage of rocks from the crowd. A real meatgrinder for the Other Brothers and a flaming success for the Boom Bats! Sometimes the Death just seems to fancy some teams. Do you have any experience on this Touchdown?
- ...the throw was bad and the ball was sailing towards the sideline and the crowd. I went off like a lightning bolt, covered 10 yards in a split second and leaped straight up just at the sideline and caught the ball just as it was about to go over the sideline! While still up in the air I noticed a minotaur was lumbering towards...
- .... In the third match of Valhalla Cup there were no worries about deaths as both teams had rosters full of players who've already been dead for ages. I'm of course talking about the match between the undead Nattbowlarna and the Khemri Staffan's Hooligang. All the reports tell us that it was a real tight match with Nattbowlarna snatching a 1-0 victory with a solitary touchdown scored at the final minutes of the match.  Interestingly the coach of the Hooligang was seen arguing with a man dressed in a pointy hat - not a good idea to do in general in my experience - right after the match. There are rumours about on some kind of significant financial arrangement that was made between this pointy hatted, long bearded and wand carrying gentleman and certain Khemri team. According the rumours the certain Khemri team is not very pleased and they feel that this gentleman famialiar in certain arcane knowledge has not filled his obligations... Anyways, those were the matches in Valhalla Cup's first round. After first week the Nattbowlarna and Flying Boom Bats BK are on the top of standings with 3 points each, Jungle_Boogie and Cougar Kittens have 1 point each and Staffan's Hooligang and Other Brothers are still waiting for their fist points. Any comments about the standings Touchdown?
- ...suddenly out of nowhere this giant fireball struck me right smack into chest! All of my team-mates about me went down like ragdolls but there was no stopping All "Touchdown" Brandy in the match where I scored four...
- _{Can't somedoby shut him up? He's been going on about that stupid B league match all night and.. What? I'm on air?} YES, VERY INTERESTING TOUCHDOWN! Now, lets look at the two matches that have been played in Ull's Pasture! In the opening match the lizard team Den of Dragons hosted the orc team Lotsa Stompin'! And there indeed was stompin involved! Dragons' Kroxigor Thin Lizzie started his carrier strongly by scoring a casualty. The fact that the casualty was also a clean kill also earned him the MVP honor of the match! The orcs were no worse in the physical game, their blitzer Juggla Joe scored two casualties and with blitzer Kool Zlaab adding another casualty the Lotsa Stompin' won the casualties 3 to 1! Oh, the touchdowns were tied 2-2 but who cares about that? Do you understand folks that we've already had 4 reported deaths in the NUL this season! This is stacking up to be quite a season I say! What say you Touchdown or do I dare ask?
- ...and then she ripped his guts out and threw them to the minotaur who gave out a giant roaarr, almost as loud as the crowds cheers when I scored my second...
- That's what I thought! Right you are Touchdown! OK, the second match in Ull's Pastures was between the high elf team Virgins No More and the undead team Last Steps. I have to say that if somebody had told me before the season that after the first match an undead team would dominate passing and receiving stats in a division where there is a a high elf team playing, I would've called them crazy like All "TD" Brandy! But that is happening right now! Last Steps' ghoul duo of Pebblegnawer and Wormflayer are leading the passes received and passes completed stat categories with 2 passes and 2 catches! What's not surprising is that the Last Steps won the casualties 4 to nil. Also, Virgins No More's blitzer Vera... Veryr... Veryarthh... - let's just call him Verdy! - and lineman Nimn... Nimpheny... - Nimpy! - will miss the team's next game due to injuries which will leave the high elf team undermanned but I'm sure they'll manage to recruit some freebooters if nothing else. The Virgins No More however managed to win this game, 1-0, and lead the table in Ull's Pasture.
- That's all about the results for now. Next we'll take a look at the matchups of the second week! Let's start with Ull's Pasture! Anything interesting there Touchdown?
- ...I hit 'im in the neck, biting at his ear at the same time and this other guy was hanging on my back trying to choke me and the freaking ref only stood there fondling his bal...
- GRHMMM! Yes, the second match week will see Den of Dragons go against Last Steps, Roma Victorious will host Lotsa Stompin' and Necro Norvegicus will visit Virgins No More. Hard to say anything about these matchups with the first match week still being unsettled, but I'd think that Last Steps will have some serious difficulties keeping up with the pace of those lightning fast skinks! Fortunately they have their duo of mummies to match and top the strength of the Sauruses. The Den of Dragons will also only be able to field 3 Sauruses as Lizzie Sizzler suffered a broken neck against the Lotsa Stompin' last week! Roma Victorius will hopefully recover soon to take the field. Lotsa Stompin' will be tough opponent on the second round. They did lose one of their players in first match, but they do have enough money to fill their roster with some fresh green meany! Virgins No More have a tough opening schedule, they'll face another undeady team, Necro Norvegicus, on the second round. Always hard to predict if it'll be the fast and dangerous werewolves or the slumbering zombies that'll decide the game for necros! An interesting second week ahead of us. Anything to add Touchdown?
- ...I swear I had him but then I happened to glance at the sidelines where this redheaded cheerleader with really really big kno...
- Yeeees, we all like cheerleaders. Let's then take a look at the second week of the Valhalla Cup, shall we! The most interesting matchup of course is the duel between the most experienced teams NattBowlarna and Jungle_Boogie. The undead will be one player short, the zombie Ragnar Rivjärn, famously one of the dirtiest players - and I'm not talking about hygiene here - will sit out this game with an injury. Jungle_Boogie will take the field with a full roster of 16 players. I'm sure those extra players will come in handy if the duo of Kling and Klang get their hymn of doom harmonized. Anything can happen in this game! Can't wait for this match, how about you Touchdown!?
- ...and she told me she was a virgin as surely as she loved to cook and clean and being the fool that I am I believed her. Can't trust readheads I say, remember this kids! But back to the game, with three touchdowns and more than 300 yards under my belt we kicked off for the fourth time and them somebody threw a rock from...
- In the two other matches Other Brothers will go against Staffan's Hooligang and the Flying Boom Bats Ball Klubben will travel to Cougar Kittens' brand new Lusty Puma stadium. The skaven Boom Bats are notorious for being prone to taking heavy beatings from amazonian teams, it'll be interesting to see if they manage break this habit this time. Other Brothers are seriously undermanned due to series of deaths suffered against Flying Boom Bats and, as they'll have to play Khemri team, the game could prove to be seriously painful for them! That's the preview of the second week of Valhalla Cup! We'll be back at the end of the week to recap all the games! We'll let you have the final word Touchdown! I've been Gron Grumbundy and I wish you bloody good blood bowling week!
- ...Spare Tire had returned to the game and he was the only thing standing between me and my fourth touchdown. He grunted, beat his chest and urged me to go for it. We locked eyes and stood there for a second. Seemed like a year - two gladiators sizing up each other - and then I exploded down the field! I stuck out my arm and he turned sideways, ready to take the blow with his shoulderpads. We collided in a giant crash and went down right at the goal line! I extended my other arm and slammed the ball down to the endzone! Touchdown! My fourth in the game, the one that one us the game. The crow eerupted and the cheerl...

Rotty, I may be 10 to 15 minutes late but I'm on my way. Posting this from my mobile and I'm about 1 hour drive away from home.

Quote from: Rotty on September 21, 2011, 08:00:51 PM
Oh noes.. Ammies.. ;D

I'm more than ready for you on Friday mate, I got tackle now  ::)

l think I can do 19 so lets aim for it.

/ Rot

OK, see you then. It'll be quite close to 19 when I get home so no need to get in any earlier. I'll report here if something unexpected happens.

Yo, Rotty! Let me know when the rats are ready to scare the ladies. I'm a bit busy till Monday, but here are some times when I'm free for sure (GMT+2):
Friday (23th) 19->
Sunday 12-15.
Tuesday 18-21.

Can't tell any further right now, let me know if any of those suits you, sir. If not, I'll get more info about my availability for next week during the weekend.

Quote from: Mr B on September 21, 2011, 05:50:56 PM

Quote from: staffan on September 21, 2011, 04:35:10 PM

QuoteHm... that sounds more like you forgot to click buy/ok on the inducement page after clicking the + on the wizard inducement screen or something. Seems strange if that wasn't case, though :/

No !
I am certain of that it was included in the inducement list and I spent all the money that I could (300k+) !

Do I have to check my own settings or what is going on ?

Naah, the case is that tournament rules says
Wiz yes..
0-1 Wizards No..
Meaning we can by wizards but not use it.. as there are no guide how to handle tournaments we have to discover these things as we go.
Sorry about this.
And As Cyanide have not implemented any way to handle tournaments once they are started.. we have to sit this out until next season.
Which put me and Jungle Boogies in a quite unfare  position.
So skipp the wiz, put your money else where.

Ohh btw, MD2 is up, feel free to challenge your time schedule with a game.

/B

Just to make things more confusing, I  have to report that I used wizard succesfully against Jungle_Boogie in our last match, knocked down four amazonian wenches with a fireball...
The wizard icon did show greyed (or rather blued) out during opponents turn like it does normally, but it cleared out at the beginning of my turn and I could use it. Did try to use the wizard during your own turn Staffan?
The rules say that you should only be able to use the spells either at the start or at the end your turn but I seem to recall that I've been able to use wizard any time during my own turn. However, in my last game I did use it as a first action on my second or third turn, so I didn't pay attention to if the wizard was available during the whole turn...

Could be some kind of bug. They are not very rare creatures in this Cyanide's creation according to my experience...

To my understanding the 0-1 wizards setting would mean that you could buy a wizard as a permanent member to your team.

Here's Hoffard Gozell with a quick report from the opening match of the Valhalla Cup's fourth season! The match was an all-amazon match between the two time champions Jungle_Boogie and second year team Cougar Kittens. If this match is an omen of things to come, we'll have a violent season ahead of us! The game opened with Jungle_Boogie kicking off. The Boogiers started strong, shifting their defence to almost perfect one when the ball was in the air. Kick landed straight into hands of Kittens' veteran receiver Kristin Lang waiting at the left middle of the Kittens' side. Kristin caught the ball after a bit of fumbling and made a short sprint to the right where she was guarded by her teammates. At the same time the violence erupted at the line of scrimmage. Scavo Huffman started the massacre by knocking out a Boogie linewoman. Teri Susan - the blitzer who is working hard to earn the title of the most violent player - followed with a blitz that ended up with Jungle_Boogie blitzer Toxophice carried out badly hurt.
Jungle_Boogie responded by stunning Kitten blitzer Eva Gabrielle and trying to take Teri Susan down without a result. Then the sky erupted and a giant fireball slammed right at the centre of five Jungle_Boogiers! Three were stunned and one knocked out. Match officials later reported that they have apprehended certain Mr. Putter, student at a nearby college of Wizardry, and are questioning him regarding this unfortunate incident. The fireball slam was followed by Teri Susan knocking out Andromeda Evadne. Then the crowd erupted, half of them shocked and half delighted, when Linewoman Jennifer of the Kittens made clearly fouled Akantha Brazenface, stunning her seriously. Referees however didn't seem to notice anything.
With four players already out from the Jungle_Boogie and the rest of the Boogiers laying on the ground stunned, it was clear that the first half was over. Kristin Lang ran to the endzone and waited there while her team-mates laid punishment to those few Boogiers who tried to get up. Most noteworthy incidents were the continous fouls committed by the Kitten linewoman Jennifer. Two of the fouls were clearly spotted by the referee, but he did nothing which have caused some speculation if some kind of monetary compensations were involved. Kristin Lang scored right at the end of the first half, 0-1 for the Cougar Kittens.
Kittens still had to kick-off the ball once to the Jungle_Boogie. But Boogiers were not interested in playing ball, instead they consentrated on punishing the front line of the Kittens. This resulted in Kittens' linewoman Alyssa suffering an injury that at first seemed to be niggling but was skillfully handled by the first of the two extra apotecharies that the Kittens had hired for this match.

The second half started with 10 Jungle_Boogiers taking the field against full team of Kittens. Boogiers quickly evened the numbers by knocking out the linewoman Cameron. Then the Kittens second hired apotechary was needed as the blitzer Scavo Huffman suffered a couged eye injury. This was fortunately healed fast and Scavo returned to game later. Ball was picked up by Andromeda Evadne who ran it to the left flank. Kittens response came from Teri Susan who blitzed Akantha Brazenface and succeeded knocking her out of the game. Rest of the Kittens formed a tight line at the centre. But Boogiers were not coming through the centre, instead they blitzed the left flank and ran the ball to Kittens side. Kittens responded fast by covering the route to the goal and taking down some of the covering Boogiers. Then some more violence ensued! Anae Bright Moon of the Jungle_Boogie blitzed Cameron and for some time it seemed that the linewoman was left dead on the field. However, the Kittens' trusted apotechary Hugh House once again saved the day by getting Cameron back to the bench and later on to the field. With another Kitten knocked out at the same time, there simply weren't enough Kittens left to cover Andromeda Evadne securily enough. Andromeda had to made an effort but she managed to score the tying TD when half of the second half was played.
The fourth kick-off of the day was an extremely accurate punt to the extreme left far corner of the Kittens half. Kittens receiver Lana Kreuk was first to reach the ball but she fumbled the pick-up. Luckily all of the Boogiers were far away at the centre field where Kittens had succeeded in taking down the front line of the Boogie defence. Then Akantha Brazenface made a beautiful blitz and took out Teri Susan who was hurt badly.
Meanwhile Kristin Lang was taking her turn in trying to pick up the ball. She fumbled a bit in the pick up but finally succeeded and started to run along the left edge, protected by her twin sister Lana Kreuk and linewoman Christina. First Jungle_Boogiers to respond were Akantha Brazenface, who ran as fast as she could and then some to cover Kristin, and the touchdown scorer Andromache who tried to blitz Kristin. Unfortunately for Boogiers she slipped at the last moment and stunned herself when she hit the ground. Christina and Lana quickly joined forces and managed to push Akantha back so that Kristin could get away and run away from this fearsome star player. Unfortunately she was left unguarded when linewoman Anne failed in her block, taking herself down along with the victim of her block. Boogiers quickly took advantage of this and swarmed Kristin. But this time the gods smiled on Cougar Kittens, Akantha only managed to push back Kristin and the Kittens still had a chance. But then Anne made another one of her special blocks that resulted both herself and defender being knocked down. Boogiers once again had the upped hand. Akantha pushed Kristin out of the field, straight into the fan section of the Jungle_Boogie. Kristin was beat unmercifully and when the official finally managed to pull the receiver to safety, she was found to be lifeless. As all three of the Cougar Kittens apotecharies were already occupied, nothing was to be done. Kittens star receiver Kristin Lang had died! And to make it worse for Kittens, the crowd threw the ball right next to Jungle_Boogie player on the line of scrimmage. She picked up the ball, made a short a sprint and threw the ball to receiver waiting at the scoring distance. The receiver sprinted for the goal and for a moment it seemed like the Boogiers had the game. Then she slipped. Right at the goal line! Kittens Eva Gabrielle tried to make a final block, but the loss of Kristin had left it's mark and instead of a boogier, it was Eva who was knocked down. Then the ref blew his whistle and the game was over. Tied game 1-1 with casualties going to Jungle_Boogie 4-1. An entertaining game, I'd rate this 16 out of 20 in entertainment value. Condolences to all of the Cougar Kittens who lost another team-mate and especially to Lana Kreuk who also lost a sister. This is all from Hoffard Gozell from the Jungle_Boogie Stadium.

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Off-character comments:
One of the most lopsided matches I've ever played. First half was extremely lucky for me, with all the first turn's blocks succeeding and all but one block braking armor. I fouled unmercifully with the help of two bribes. Luck was also on my side when Wizard knocked down 4 out of 5 Krim's amazons and that was practically the first half.
Second half evened out the luck, I had spent my rerolls by the fourth turn and then my blockess linewoman naturally got a skull / both down dice two times a row. At the same time Krim's girls were laying down some serious smack. I used three apotecharies to save a two serious injuries (one niggling) and death. Would've needed the fourth apo to save my +ST/+AG star receiver from dying on the final turn... Quite mixed feelings about the match because of this. Bit of my luck returned at the end when Krim only managed a push-back on my ball-carrier even when he used a reroll and finally when Krim was robbed of a TD by a failed GFI.

REQUIEM FOR KRISTIN LANG - RECEIVER OF COUGAR KITTENS

Her eternal sleep and blackened sky
tell us there's a tear in God's eye.
For gods weep and goddesses cry
when the most courageous of us die.

She was the most beautiful of us all
and the most skilled with the ball
Why o why did she have to fall.
Angels tell us she heard the call,
the song that gods sing for the best,
to those of us who are blessed,
with skills and heart
being the best at their art.

Rest in peace Kristin Lang.
We know you'll make a bang,
and claim your deserved fame
playing the eternal game.

--------------
Kristin Lang, Amazon receiver of Cougar Kittens, +1 ST, +1 AG
- Slain by the Blood Bowl loving crowd in a match against Jungle_Boogie after a push-back by Akantha Brazenface of Jungle_boogie -

WEEK 1 SPECULATIONS

- Welcome to the first ever magicast of Blood Sports Spotlight, the best place to get inside information about the Norsca Union League! I'm your host Gron Grumbundy and today I'm joined by the professor Widdleweeny, the most noted expert on the Norsca Union League or NUL as we like to call it. Welcome to the show professor Widdleweeny!
- Thank you Gron. Looking at the lea...
- You're welcome professor. Now, as you may already know, NUL has been split into two divisions for the fourth season. The six more experienced teams battle it out in Valhalla Cup for the league championship and then there are the six rookie teams fighting for chance to play in the major league in Ull's Pasture.
- That's r...
- What we will have is surely an exciting season! Let's start with the rookie teams professor. Could you give us a short rundown of the teams playing in Ull's Pasture?
- Well, first...
- Looking at the team list it looks like a mix of brutality mixed with a bit of dexterity to me! Two elf teams I see, the high elf team Virgins No More and the dark elf team Roma Victorious. What's your take on them professor?
- Traditionally the high elfs are really good at...
- Mighty fine passers they are the, the Helfs I mean. But looking at the team roster for the Virgins No More I see no thrower there. No big deal to me, any one of those high'n'mighty elves will make a better passer than your average human. The team catcher Idhrengolion Tahtron will surely be the main target for the passes. What about the dark elf team professor?
- Well, the dark elfs are a bit more violent th...
- A bit! Bloodthirsty killers and dexterious as hell all of them! The team rooster for the Roma Victorious looks a bit risky but boy do they have hitting power! Four blitzers! And I must note that one of their blitzers is none other than Titus Pullo, the famous soldier and once-a-gladiator! Never have I seen such a fight as the one where he fought against the veteran gladiators due to a death sentence passed to him! He could make a fine bloodbowler!
- He certainly...
- But the elfs won't have it easy in their first game! Both of the elf teams are playing against undead teams. Virgins No More will visit the pure undead team Last Steps. Whats the word on the street about the Last Steps professor?
- They look to be...
- Bashy as bashy can be is the word. Tutmose and Ramtu will of course be the force to be reckoned with at the line of scrimmage. You know what they say about playing on the line of scrimmage professor?
- I must confess that...
- Don't go crying for mommy or the mummy will find you! HAHAHAAA! Oldie but goldie. Tough match for the high elfs but I hear that they have hired the guy who coached the necromantic Silver Hunters to the championship last season as they team coach! So don't go underestimating them! OK, delf team Roma Victorus on the other hand will go against necromancing team Necro Norvegicus. Anything noteworthy about the necros professor?
- Only one...
- Looks like they might be starting the season with only one werewolf, Henrik Rip-Zen. I think he's from Djukkehem or some place that sounds like that. Should be force to be reckoned with, I can't wait for him and Titus Pullo to bash it out. Well, thats the elfs and undeads! What do we have left professor?
- Liz...
- Den of Dragons, the rookie lizardmen team, seems to be hosting the orc team Lotsa Stompin'. This should be an interesting match. What do you think professor?
- Lots of strength...
- Yes there is indeed professor! The Lotsa Stompin' have of cource a full line-up of Black Orc Blitzers or Bobs as I like to call them. My personal favourite is of course the promising rookie simply known as The Tank! Is there anybody on the Den of Dragons who might challenge this BOB line?
- Naturally the liza...
- Of course they have! The lizards are the only teams that can fill the front line with some real muscle power! Five Sauruses led by the Kroxigor Thin Lizzie is a force to be reckoned with. And those skins are agile as anybody out there. No way to know which one them will emerge as star player!
- They ar...
- And that's it for the Ull's Pasture. To recap, it looks to be bash heavy, only two teams with enough natural talent to handle the ball effortlesly. Lizardmen are an interesting mix of bashy and quick, necros and undead will always do good in the long run and orcs are one of the more balanced teams with a natural violent streak in them. We'll have to wait and see the results from the first matches!
- And now to the big boys. There are two teams on the Valhalla Cup division that really stand out, am I right professor?
- Well, one cou..
- The two time former champions Jungle_boogie from the amazon and the undead Nattbowlarna who have always battled for the top spots! They really are the teams to beat this season and I wouldn't be surprised if they were the two teams we'll see in the finals this year! The second match week will be foretelling as that is the week these two teams will go against each other! Your opinion on these juggernauts professor?
- Interestingly...
- The Nattbowlarna seem the have two of their skill players with niggling injuries that limit their agility, the wight Anders Angersson and the ghoul Donny Dong. That could be problematic but they still have more than enough bashing power to cover for the lack of agility! And it looks like bashing power is that what they'll need as the Nattbowlarna are going against the khemri team Staffan's Hooligang on the first round!
- Yes, the Hooligan...
- Hooligang surpisingly lost on their tomb guardians last season when playing against the rookie amazon team but looks like they have dig up some fresh meat to cover the line, namely the tomb guardian Ami Asetru. Promises to be an interesting match for all of you fans who enjoy bashy play with an easy pace! But that's enough about the undeads, let's move into more interesting teams, namely the lushous matchup between the amazonian teams.
- Yes, the Cougar Kittens and Jungle_boogie are..
- This will the the third time that the last years upset  team Cougar Kittens go against the mighty Jungle_boogie. They last met at the semifinals where the Boogiers dominated the Kittens. Do the Kittens have any realistic chance this time professor?
- There are some inj...
- Oh, right you are, looks like that two blitzers of the Jungle_boogie are down and out for this game! But I don't see that helping the Kittens. Only chance for them is if their veteran catcher Kristin Lang can establish herself as an emerging star and score a TD or two for the Kittens. But nevertheless, this is the game for all you fans who enjoy seeing sweaty semi-naked ladies wrestling for the pig-bladder!
- ....
- AND the third match in the Valhall Cup will feature the human team Other Brothers who travel to the skaven team Flying Boom Bats BK's stadium. Looks like the Boom Bats have finally recovered from injury spiral they got into last season. Only one player with a niggling injury, otherwise the team looks fast and furious! The Other Brothers on the other hand balanced, not surprising as they are a human team. Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing how the brotherly tandem of the thrower Akseli Koskela and catcher Akusti Koskela will function. Any word on this matchup professor?
- Certainly an interesting...
- Sorry to interrupt you professor but it seams we have ran out of time! Tune in later this week when we recap all the matches of the first week! I'm Gron Grumbundy wishing you bloody good blood bowling week! Have a week!

Quote from: krim_nielsen on September 13, 2011, 01:45:26 PM
thursday @ 19.00 ?

Aye, that's a date mate.

Yo Krim. Let's see it the third time against the Boogiers will be a charm for the Kittens.

I'm a bit busy this week, trying to cram lots of stuff to my last vacation week, but I should be free to play the following times (GMT+2):

Wed (14th) from 17.00
Thu from 17.00
Sat all day
Sun 10.00-15.00

congratz to the champions also from the Kittens!

- Warm welcome to all you listeneners out there! I'm Trip Skulsson-Plok and I'll be reporting the playoff match between the two amazon teams Cougar Kittens and Jungle_boogie to you with my collegue Dabble Onz. Say hi to the folks Dabble!
- Hi.
- As articulate as ever our Dabble there. The game is about to start, Boogiers won the coin toss and elected to kick-off first. Bit surpising isn't it Dabble?
- No.
- That's right! The school of thought that you're better off defending with a full squad has been winning ground lately and more and more teams have started to use the first kick-off. And there it goes! The ball lands off bounds! Kittens coach tosses the ball to the star Receiver Kristin Lang. No surprise there. Am I right or am I right Dabble?
- Yes.
- And now the action starts! Oof, nice block by the linewoman Cameron! Looks like the that linewoman won't be boogying any more in this match! She's hurt!
- Badly.
- Right you are! And Kristin is advancing to line of scrimmage, Kittens are forming a tight cage around her. But here comes the boogying blitzer Antianara Thermadosa and she invades the cage by pushing one of the Kitten linegirls back! But here come the Kittens. One! Two! Three! Four! Unbelieveble! Antianara took three blocks and a blitz and she's still standing!
- Firmly.
- Kristin has no choice but to dodge out of her reach but looks like Antianara is not having it. She's going after Cameron to follow Kristin and Cameron is down! Looks like they're going have to carry her out. How seriously do you think she was hurt Dabble?
- Badly.
- Expert as ever you are mr. Onz. Looks like the Boogiers are taking the cage apart one girl at the time and putting pressure on Kristin. But there she goes! Dodged out again and now she's gunning to the right flank! Only a couple of boogiers there with three Kittens! Boogiers are reacting to the play by running to cover the deep right side and their blitzer is putting pressure on Kristin. But here comes Eva Gabrielle of the Kittens and takes the Blitzer down! But wait! Now Eva is down too! Looks like she tried run a bit too fast and stumbled on to her feet! What's your last name Dabble?
- Onz.
- Just checking that you're still here. Boogiers are surrounding the ball but as there are too many Kittens they don't have a chance to get pick it up. Kittens back at work pushing the Boogiers away from the ball. And now Zara the Slayer puts on her blitzing groove and clears the ball! Looks like she's trying to pick it up!
- Fail.
- And a magnificent one of such! Ball takes a bounce and ends up on the feet of three Kittens. Looks like Christina of the Kittens is going deep for a passing chance! But there comes Okypous of the Jungle_boogie and Christina goes down! And another magnificent block from the Jungle_boogie! Looks like Jennifer is hurt!
- Badly.
- Right again there Dabble. Either Kittens have trouble with their balance or Boogiers have been working on their tackling skills. But there's Kristin Lang again! She took a while to recover from that stunning blow but she finally managed to get up and blitzed her way to the ball and is now holding it!
- Wrong.
- Right you are Dibble! Boogiers star thrower Akantha the Brazenface put Kristin down.
- Out.
- Knocked out she is, right you are Dabble. And there comes Andromache Deinomache from the Jungle_boogie and picks up the ball! Looks like there are too few Kittens standing up to do anything but Marcia Bree is trying! No dice there! Down she goes with that dodge failing. And Andromache is running for it giving it all she gotz and then some!
- Touchdown.
- Nice td right before the end of the first half! We'll have time for another kick-off but there won't be any time for the Kittens to score unless they blitz and looks like they didn't manage it. But there goes Teri Susan!
- Casualty.
- Right you are, that's what you get when you put unexperienced Anae Bright Moon against Teri Susan who is fast becoming one of the most violent players in the league! I think that is her eigth casualty for this season! And there's Zara stabbing other Jungle_boogie rookie to KO.
- Over.
- Yep, the referee blew the whistle and the first half is over. Time for a small break but stay tuned! Exciting second half will wait for us!

- And we're back! Trip Skulsson-Plok here with Babble Onz coming to you live...
- Unlive.
- We're not talking about race now Dabble. I think everybody knows you're not technically live anymore after that incident you had in your interview with that vampire team last year. What I was talking about is that we're broadcasting live.
- Kick-off.
- Oh right you are! Cougar Kittens kicked off the ball! It lands halfway to the Jungle_boogie endzone. Andromeda Evadne is there to pick it up and now she advances to the right flank. Rest of the Boogiers are guarding her but are staying quite far away from her. Any idea why that would be Dabble?
- Putter.
- Oh yes, totally forgot that the Cougar Kittens big fan Harry Putter is in the stands today and it just that happens that he is also a wizard! So Boogiers are avoiding crowding up just in case mr. Putter has taken her wand with him today!
- Tripledown.
- Yep, there goes the Kittens front line down as easy as a harlot in a bedroom. But now the Kittens are striking back! This could get violent Dabble!
- Shoving.
- Pushback after a pushback, Boogiers are clearly more adapt at staying on their feet than Kittens. Andromeda is advancing slowly with her team-mates clearing the route, how many Kittens do you see down on the ground now Dabble?
- Four.
- And only three get up. Lots of pushing and shoving going on but nothing happening, Kittens aren't just getting any boogiewomen down. Kittens on the other hand are flying around like witches on Weenyhell Day. Andromeda is now almost at a scoring distance. But wait what happened! Why is she down?
- Zap.
- Could be mr. Putter's fault indeed, you may be right Dabble! Ball is on the ground, Kristin Lang is there to guard it, other Kittens trying to get there but Jungle_boogie is having none of the that! Down goes Kristin and Akantha Brazenface has a clear route to the ball. She has the ball and is going for a TD pass!
- Botched.
- That was a perfect pass! How could the catcher drop it! Here come the Kittens, swamping the ball but not only getting one Boogier down.
- Foul.
- And a clear one! Teri Susan just put a blatant fould on the downed Boogier but the ref is not doing anything! Must be paid off. Too many Boogiers and too few Kittens around the ball, won't take much longer I reckon. Yes, there comes the Jungle_boogie's blocking crew! Kitten down, another one, third one pushed back. The ball is clear and Andromeda Evadne gets another chance! She's got the ball and a clear route to the endzone!
- Teedy.
- 2-0 for the Jungle_Boogie! Kittens have exactly half of the second half left to try to score. Looks like they're swarming the line of scrimmage with just a couple Kittens waiting for the ball. It's a high kick, blitzr Scavo Huffman has all the time in the world to get under it. Caught it! She advances to middle. Zara is going deep. Kittens front line doing little to help their scoring chances, only one Boogier goes down and the centrefield is crowded. Down goes Zara, four Boogiers taking care of her. That settles it, no chance for the Kittens to tie the game. Kristin tries to get through the left flank, trying to go for the consolation TD. There comes the pass from Scavo!
- Scattered.
- Right you are dabble, bad pass but Kristin managed to haul it in but looks like she won't enjoy it long. Yep, she's pushed back off the field. Block there, blitz, nothing happening.
- Blows.
- That the referee does, in his whistle I mean! And the game is over! Jungle_boogie advance to the final with a convincing 2-0 victory over the Cougar Kittens!



And here are the less flamboyant off-character comments: Nothing to do. Both the opposing coach and team were just better today. Couldn't get Krim's girls down while his tacklers were downing my girls all over the field. Dice seemed fair for both sides. Thanks to Krim for the nice game! I'll try to do better next season.